The Hired Gun Ch. 02

"My dad came at you?"

"Not directly, but we had words when he tried to be slick in the kitchen at one of them parties. I was at the sink, and he called himself slipping by me to get something outta the fridge, but his thang rubbed up on my butt when he had more than enough room to get by."

"Oh, how did that turn out?" I chuckled suspecting the answer already.

"Slapped the hell outta his face with a wet dishrag; I was ready to put two to his chin and get my pistol, but he started talking all slick about how it was an accident. Told him to get outta my face with that shit and he ran back to the yard like a scalded dog. Part of me felt like your uncle put him up to it cause we had words later that night. Your daddy told him about what happened in the kitchen, but made it look like I was acting out of turn."

"Yeah, that's him alright."

"Then I found out my hubby was having me followed by some dumbass private investigator guy; I kind of suspected it, but then got things confirmed when I set a trap for that fool."

"What'd you do?"

"Drove a few blocks over because I kept noticing this fucking shitty ass Ford Maverick lurking around the house, especially when your uncle wasn't around. I thought about mentioning it to my man, but then the neighbor came round to my house talking about seeing it too. So, I set a trap for that negro."

"What kind of trap?"

"The only one that matters; a honey trap."

"Honey trap?"

"I used what I got to get what I wanted; I put on some cutoff daisy dukes, got out in front of the house making a spectacle of myself acting like I was watering the lawn cause I knew he was checking out the booty. The guy was always pulling up real slow driving by just ah checking me out like I wouldn't notice, and once he popped up when I went grocery shopping, the fix was in at that point. Put out the sprinklers on the front lawn, then got into my SUV and drove down to my neighbor Kevin's place parking in his driveway."

"Why'd you do that?"

"I knew the McCarthy family was on vacation up in the Poconos, so I wanted to make that numb head think I was cheating with the white neighbor; like really give him something juicy besides my ass to look at. I even got out and walked to the front door making sure the cheeks were on full display knowing he would get real excited. Then I acted like I couldn't get in the front door and footed it to the back yard and hopped the fence. I ran two houses over to this vacant colonial, then snuck up on that fool in his car with his camera out and everything."

"What happened next auntie?"

"Gave him the same deal I gave you boy; right on his boss's bed too. Bronc busted the buster that afternoon; even though he was riding me, I was riding him mentally. Now he works for me or he's losing his fucking license and catching a case. I put him on your uncle and found out about his goddamn stepping out. It's a shame cause he gotta use that blue pill and even then, it only gets hard sometimes."

"I'm surprised you didn't divorce him."

"Me too boy; if I did that, we wouldn't be sitting here today about to get into something. You gonna do me like you did that girl's mamma?"

"What do you think baby?" My hand was resting on the swell of her huge country stuffed donk. Esther had this dirty smile on her face as she took a deep slurp from her foam cup of diet cola.

I slipped a finger into the waistband of her pants finding a thong wedged deep in the crack of her monster ass. She just looked back at my hand under the sweater wrapped around her hips. Her face was hidden from the bridge of her nose up, which gave her a unique look that gave me ideas. I slapped her butt in that booth making it do this watery jiggle before withdrawing my hand as she noticed something in the distance.

"You'd better hurry up and uh, take me to that there hotel or I might get snapped up, boy." Esther said before taking an extended slurp on her straw.

"Huh?" She motioned with her finger drawing my attention to my immediate right.

I found a familiar face staring back blankly surveying us. It was Andre, a former acquaintance through one of my past talents and occasional friend with benefits. Comedically known as Andre 13.5, this almost brainless dupe had stabbed me in the back through no fault of his own and was the catalyst for his girlfriend's horrific personal drubbing and hazing until she broke in dramatic fashion. He'd become a pawn because of his oversized member, hence the 13.5 designation. I'd inadvertently cuckolded the goof myself upon our initial meeting but done my best to pay it forward. My attitude towards him would've been a little different if he hadn't got buck with me in this very mall, on one occasion.

"I don't think you've got anything to worry about; he's looking at me."

"Ew." Auntie Esther looked green around the gills as I got up taking stock of his work attire.

The man was still working at Hotdog on a Stick apparently. I knew his former girlfriend was now plying her trade along the east coast as a high-end escort after the dissolution of her working relationship with our former mentor. Apparently, Andre 13.5 was just a pawn thrown in the trash bin when he was no longer useful. My thoughts went to Charity gilbert again regretting that I'd failed to deliver this man to her as promised. Andre had been a classmate and student who she coveted because of his endowment, but his girlfriend at the time scuttled things before being run off campus academically.

The couple dropped out together and were basically inseparable up until he was taken and turned out over the course of eight hours. Later, he would give me the business verbally when I sought to make amends with him which inadvertently led to me meeting Charity Gilbert. His personal tragedy on both ends felt prophetic in that she was the glue or common denominator between them. She'd tried to indulge her proclivity only to be stopped by his lover and that history played into her undoing later when that weakness was exploited. I figured it was part of the reason his woman remained in Florida.

"Hello." I greeted him statically.

"Hey." He replied almost robotically which reminded me that he was mostly head cheese. Andre was standing there holding a push broom looking clueless. I started to wonder if he was looking at Esther when I traced the trajectory of his gaze across the floor to a repurposed GameStop outlet. There was a fire sale going on and people were milling about picking the place clean.

"See something you want, bruh?"

"Aw man they having a sale over there at the GameStop and I wanted to pick up a Nintendo Switch for my, uh son."

"Why can't you?"

"Don't get paid until next Thursday, and that money gotta go to bills."

"Says who?"

"The wife." I was reminded of an oft talked about but seldom seen woman who was supposed to be his actual spouse. I'd have doubted her actual existence considering Andre's simpleton status, but the former other woman, his woman Shawnee, spoke of her a few times.

Alright Andre, good luck man." I turned to walk off to my booth and Esther when he called after me.

"HEY, I'M SORRY!!" He shouted, then resumed pushing the broom in front of his dead-end job. I stopped and retraced my tracks.

"Sorry for what?"

"Uhm, that one time I was uh, talking shit to you here at the mall. I didn't mean it, but I kind of had something in my head that day and I was out of pocket. Well, uh, a lot of stuff happened since then, but I never got the chance to say how sorry I was. You helped me get some money for things I needed to take care of my family and I shouldn't have ever talked to you like that. My wife used up the money on the card anyway, but I wouldn't have had it weren't for you."

I'd never tell Andre that I'd reported his card stolen and kept the money like our former mutual benefactor taught me. It was right after he'd mouthed off to me, the day after I discovered the fate of his ex-girlfriend Shawnee via a stolen hard drive. This man was the spoils of war by a group of harpies literally stolen from his woman right in front of her face. I'd never had the nerve to post that romp which also included my enthralled cousin Jaquan. Four women conducted a "gang bang" on this nearly mindless stud to cement their pact and celebrate the theft of all my hard work at the time.

"Hey, it all worked out in the end, right?"

"I guess, but I'm still sorry." I chafed on the inside at his earnest apology recalling the first day we met and the loose relationship he had with Shawnee which skewed in her favor most of the time. Andre was the first male performer I'd ever used in my content.

"So uhm, you were trying to get a switch, huh?"

"Can't, ain't got no money."

"Hold that thought."

I walked off to the store raising a single finger towards Esther who was sitting there watching, perplexed at the unfolding situation. It took me a good twenty-five minutes to snag one of the games which turned out to be the display model in the shop window. Andre's push broom hit the floor when he saw the box in my hand.

"THANK YOU!"

"Hold on a minute." I held up a finger stopping Andre from reaching for the box half turning away from him.

"Uh, okay." He looked immediately sullen as I glanced over at my Auntie Esther who was looking at the tablet she used to keep tabs on her husband. I figured the equipment had been given to her in "fair trade" by the private investigator who served as her willing "mole" in exchange for the buns.

"Normally, I'd just give this to you; but I'm uh, different these days Andre. Make no doubt about it, I'm gonna hand this to you eventually; but uh, you're gonna have to earn it."

"Earn it?"

"Yeah, you know; like uh, the old days with some camera work." His face dropped at my assertion.

"I don't know about that; my old lady said I can't do that stuff no more."

"Serious?"

"Well, after she picked me up at the hospital, I had to tell her about that stuff and everything. She tried calling Shawnee because it was a bad influence on me, but she was blocked. The wife only lets me make stuff for her page and we share the money. I let her use it to pay the bills and my check from here too."

"So, your wife has all of your money?"

"It's our money."

"Uhm, okay Andre." I looked between his face and the box realizing this dude was in a perpetual grift.

"We just do shows like, a couple of times a week." It sounded like Andre was backpedaling from his explanation of his shitty life.

"What kind of shows?"

"Uhm, you know...adult shit like getting naked and jerking off in front of a computer. Most of the time she jerks me off if they pay enough."

"Who?"

"The people on there, uh fans; if they pay a certain amount, then she jerks me off in front of them. Mostly, they wanna see my thing, but a lot of them like it that way." His explanation was making things worse as I stared over at Esther who was watching intently.

"The wife doesn't uh, work with you on camera?"

"OH NO!! She's a good woman and it would probably mess up her job."

"What does she do?"

"Uhm, well she works on a computer for a bunch of places doing smart stuff. She keeps a computer in my room for our adult shit. Uhm, the kids sleep most of the time when we do it and they at school if we do it in the morning. I work part time here, so it kind of works out with the money and everything."

"Shit." I was about to hand him the game but held back at the last moment.

"Hey man, can I see a picture of your wife?"

"Oh, she don't let me have no pictures to show around." My brow furrowed, mind starting to race as I began plotting.

"Oh yeah, cool Andre; so uh, what's your online name?"

"King Ding-a-ling." I facepalmed covertly angry that I would have to step in front of the barrel again to make things somewhat right. This guy was a perpetual victim trapped in the body of a street level Adonis. The unseen wife's influence read on his appearance as I noticed his hair was braided now. Images of him being groomed and eventually taken by the now dissipated "Ms. One" ran through my head as I glanced back at Esther who was still watching out interaction.

"Sounds like a mouthful."

"Uh, you ain't gonna watch that stuff, are you?" I threw up a little in my mouth.

"No Andre, no; hey what time you get off from work?"

"I can't do that kind of work anymore."

"What time do you get off work, bruh?!" I was more insistent.

"Three." It was just before one in the afternoon as I looked back at Esther who appeared impatient. I was momentarily worried she would come over and make a cluster fuck out of negotiations.

"Hey before you go back to work, come meet my friend, Andre."

"Uh, okay."

I knew I had Esther at hello when she hurriedly went into her purse coming up with a compact but stopped short when we reached the edge of the booth looking at him with schoolgirl's eyes. She looked like she didn't know how to sit in front of him, not realizing the guy was clueless. Andre was tragically stoic to a fault as it looked like Esther considered getting up but settled down again.

"Hey uh, this is my friend Andre." I motioned toward him as she audibly hiccupped before sticking her hand out to shake his with a limp wrist.

"UHM, AH NICE-I MEAN NICE TO MEET YOU MAN!!" Esther stumbled all over herself, almost falling over from the booth.

"Uhm, nice to meet you too miss."

"ESTA!"

"Huh?"

"Uhm, my name is Esther, I'm his...!" My hand flew in front of her face waving profusely before she could let the cat out of the bag. Even though Andre was a noob, I knew better than to take chances.

He looked her over innocently enough.

"That's right, we're really good friends, platonic friends." She was so enamored with him that I could swear I saw every tooth in her head when she smiled. Andre demurely chuckled holding the broom as I looked finding some of his female coworkers watching from a too busy counter. His manager didn't look pleased in the least.

I knew he wasn't going to be pleased in a few minutes as I got between Andre and Esther, making her reluctantly release his hand.

"Hey man, don't worry about a thing; excuse us for a minute, we've gotta take care of something." I prodded Esther to her feet, starting to escort her away from the food court. She looked irritated at being ushered away from Andre who stared with this blank expression.

"What now, you jealous or...HEY!!" I'd reached down snatching the beige sweater from around her wide hips exposing her massive, shelf like badonkadunk in all its glory in those skintight jeans.

"Hey, don't worry about it; you're gonna get him this afternoon." I half whispered shoving the game console into her hands.

"HUH?!!"

"They call him Andre 13.5."

"PARDON ME?!" Her eyes bucked and fluttered as she looked back over her shoulder to find Andre waving with a faint smile on his face. He likely thought I wasn't giving him the game after all. He and everyone else in our wake were getting an eyeful of Mz. Giggles' southern back porch.

"13.5 Esther, do the math." My hand landed in the middle of that jiggling monster with a loud slap making it bounce like jello. We were at the edge of the food court next to the last booth as I noticed a shady looking teen I'd seen before in the past filming the proceedings with his phone.

"You're my hero, bruh." I got an enthusiastic thumbs up from the raccoon eyed teen which Esther took exception to raising her purse up with the intent of bringing it down on his nugget head.

"I'LL KNOCK YOUR SKAWNY ASS INTO NEXT WEEK PUNK!" I parried her hand taking the purse slinging it over my shoulder while encircling her narrow waist edging her forward. A group of girls in catholic school uniforms snickered at the exchange, a few filming as well.

"Cut it out, we've got to take care of two more things before we get to the shoot." I reasoned, giving her waist a little pinch and getting a whack from the game console in her hand.

"You should've let me chunk him."

"13.5...inches, Esther."

"Are you serious?"

"You'll find out today; and Andre has my pedigree, too."

"What?" Her eyes registered his stats and my hint that the immediate apple of her eye matched my sexual acumen.

My auntie by marriage was herded into a makeup shop for some odds and ends, but my real intention was to have accomplished having her sit in the shop's makeup chair for the free touchup offered by the salesgirls out front peddling various beauty odds and ends. I circumvented having a makeup person for the shoot at hand in this manner while calling Andre's manager with the burner phone still in my possession. Esther wisely left her own pricey phone at home should my uncle think outside the box and use the "Find My Phone" option on his to discover her whereabouts. My android was in my car trunk.

I phoned in a fake family emergency to Andre's job effectively springing him from work.

We were there to catch the last remaining piece of the puzzle. I had Esther posted up in his path presenting him with the console he desperately wanted, and an inviting touched up smile. Andre looked perplexed and annoyed when I explained what was done, offering him the rest of the day's salary, the console, a new debit card and... Esther aka Mz. Giggles. I knew this guy like the back of my hand feeling like a Machiavellian character about to exploit his triggers.

I chuckled at Esther's frustration after finding out Andre was a dimbulb while trying to talk him up in the backseat of my car as I drove out to the hotel. His chiseled stoic exterior hid a childish interior that she probably misread as I used his screen name to discover what had been going on since we last met. This unseen "wife" was fleecing the living shit out of the man on both ends premeditated all the way. I couldn't reconcile that bullshit but wasn't going to be truly altruistic. I saw an opportunity to make some good content with a trusted guy who knew how to work with me from day one.

It was fair trade, in my opinion.

"Hey, what's up with this man?" Esther asked as we walked from the connected parking garage into the airport hotel she'd booked through her connections.

"What do you mean?"

"Is he touched in the head or something?" I chuckled at the question which came too late after they shared the backset. Andre was more interested in playing with his console than the thick mature sitting beside him with obvious interest.

"I don't understand; I thought you liked him."

"He's beautiful, but like a little kid in the head or something; he ain't even looked at me twice; all he cares about is that little video game shit. Most men I meet try to put a ring on it when I say howdie, but this negro is thickheaded."

"Maybe women like you are the norm in his life; are you worried you don't measure up?"

"Funny boy, ain't you; maybe he's gay." I chortled even more as we walked to the elevator with Andre tagging alone engrossed in his game. His protestations were silenced the moment he was rewarded the expensive handheld console.

"You're gonna find out." I commented whimsically as the elevator arrived. I had to guide Andre into the elevator because he was lagging behind as Esther gave us a disparaging look. Andre glanced at her face visibly elated, rewarding Esther with a wink before concentrating on the screen in front of him.

My connected auntie secured a spacious presidential suite on the top floor which was pretty much a miniature house inside the building. I was informed this was the last location she hooked up with her "sugar daddy" from Dubai a month earlier. I was informed that this beyond rich guy wanted first dibs on whatever we did that afternoon. I'd bought some junk food, burgers and other disposable items sequestering Andre in a smaller side room to enjoy his game in private while I worked with Esther beforehand.