All Comments on 'The Hotel Ch. 01'

Post in Novels and Novellas - too long, poorly written, lame story

nope

Stories are written to be enjoyed. When they get too long they lose their purpose.

You NEED to see someone about your verbal diarrhea, 11 pages for chapter 1, nothing but long winded BULLSHIT!!!! You only ever write about absolute WIMPS.

Never a dull moment when you write a story, cagivagurl. Anxiously waiting the next chapter to see if someone caves, or everything blows up. Thanks for your time and effort. KS

horrible - worst cabigurl story ever

If someone has read a few of your stories, this is too predictable. Even borrows a scene from "Best Friends".

This is one of the worst stories you have ever written. Don't think I'll be reading chapter 2

Excited for part 2! 5*

Sorry “bro”, it’s a no go. Haha.

Well written but over the top.

Why are your male characters such wimps always?

Wow, Sierra really was a disgusting whore, bringing her husband sloppy seconds.

But this mess is really all Reece's fault for being so weak.

Open marriages always end in disaster; the divorce rate is something like 95%. When they suggested swapping, he should've said "fuck no!" and insisted they sell the house to move away from the perverted weirdos.

Well that was........different. 3 stars because at the least it was well written.

Loved the story. It was easy to understand how that type of arrangement could slide, step by step, towards something that was on a knife edge. With the death of one woman, it meant the remaining situation via the three of them, was untenable.

Sadly, it was the love of his wife and that stupid promise made to a dying woman, that made him weak and pathetic and accepting of his manipulating wife. "Slowly, slowly, catchee monkey." He let it get out of his control and didn't have the backbone to draw a line and say "NO". Hence the situation he is now in.

Having MMF threesomes as a one-off is one thing. M to M contact can be avoided. But... every night? No way.

Also, Leiff is by far the more dominant male and Sierra obviously gets off on that. Plus, other sex acts that Reece is not interested in (anal) but that Sierra obviously now loves doing.

Now eece just needs to grow some balls, develop a backbone and be positive about things. Stop all this hoping she will come back to him. It's too late: he has lost her. Divorce. Sell the house. There is no going back. With his new found "balls", contact Julia and tell her whats happened. Who knows what may take place. Cheers.

Oh, I love the New Zealand setting. My old stomping ground around Canterbury!

More jiggery, piggery woketardery about druggy, New Age New Zealanders. The character development is strong, but the plot is predictable.

That was killer. Can't wait for the next part. First though, I need to go out and buy another bottle of antacid.

5-star work.

Hooked

Total crap usually like your stories couldn’t even get through it. Somebody needs to fine his balls.

Well, seems as if this will all end badly. I guess we'll see. D

You still put together great stories but this was not in my wheelhouse. I especially disliked Sierra.

I like it, but unfortunately it’s obvious where’s it’s going. What I call a shrug.

Lief and sierra end up together, alone, and Reece gets with Julia. And when it’s all said and done, they’ll all be cool with each other and live happily ever after.

I get the impulse to write a generally positive story like that, but man are those ones just so, so forgettable.

You have deftly created a challenging and interesting set of relationships. Looking forward to more. Thank you.

""Reece, baby, we are in this together. If somebody is uncomfortable, then it doesn't happen. That must be the only rule, nobody gets hurt. This has to be mutual, nobody has to do something they don't want to," Patience explained." -- Well there you go then! Obviously Reece IS UNCOMFORTABLE! And thus the story ends! But NO! Sierra, Patience, and Leif have obviously been in talking up this new dynamic for months, excluding Reece from their plans except when it became necessary to include him. Do we really believe the Cheating Trio give a rip about Reece? We'll all be making ice cubes in our ovens before they ever give one crap about Reece's comfort level or concerns.

Oh I do love your long complex stories. Every story is well crafted and demonstrates why you are one of the best contributors.

Good story!! Reece is an asshole!!!!

To further drive home the point about how ridiculous this long convoluted story actually is consider the husband's options..

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He tried the altar lifestyle that the wife wanted. And the wife agreed that if he did not want to continue what they would stop.

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That was a lie And she did not stop. In fact she put pressure on her husband to accept The new Arrangement so she can keep screwing her boyfriend.

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And at the end of this story again she refused to accept her husband's wishes as being valid and try to get him to change .

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The key point here is that it's already obvious that the wife is disregarding the husbands Because she no longer values her husband.

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given all the above facts....Does anybody really expect the wife to change her opinion now that he has issued an ultimatum? You see there is no place for this story to go.

Great start with interesting, believable characters. I'm really looking forward to part two.

It always amaze me how entitled your characters are and how little willed the others have.

One of your strengths as a writer is creation of believable main characters who feel knowable both male and female leads. Certainly true with this piece. You place them within/against a complicated/challenging storyline that reveals/exposes weaknesses, doubts and tension and eventually brings some resolution — maybe not perfect/satisfying, but resolution. Yes, some of your storylines may be a stretch from so-called norm, but why not — easier to create discord/dilemmas for your characters. How they react is the key. Interesting how many comments your stories generate (surely tied in part to where you post many of your pieces) — comments that are oddly entertaining, including the one liners that have nothing to do with your writing.

I hung in there all the way to the end hoping against all logical rationale things would improve. I know it's only a story, but it's profoundly sad. Between the death of a young vibrant wife and mother, homophobia, and a slow painful demise of a marriage that's weighing heavily on children no less, it's just not erotic. It's depressing. Even if the situation were turned around in subsequent chapters, there has been far too much time spent on negativity. Why is it that no-one can imagine a poly story that doesn't turn to shit?

Several readers have noted that this story is depressing. Of course it is. That’s what happens with multiple partners. Divided love plus shared sex equals emotional disaster. It’s human nature. No happy way out of this. Humanity invented monogamy for a reason.

So, the point that this author invariably makes is that there is a significant number of females who are entitled to both a support system to meet their every need and the right to fuck anybody they want. So what?

Good story. What a bunch off screwed up people, it was obvious from the beginning that it couldn’t last.

Why does every male lead have to be weak and condescending? This male lead Reece has seen all that he needs to see to make a final decision on ending the sham of a three way relationship. The female lead Sierra keeps uttering the same argument ad nauseum. It might be a good idea to get to the next stage of a story without beating around the bush (literally) over and over again. I made it through the 11 pages only because I like this author's writing, but I do not like the repeat after repeat of the main theme of the story line. Could a woman be more selfish than the lead character Sierra? I don't think so. Secondly, could the lead male in Reece be so wishy washy as to let this arrangement he loaths go on and on? The author has written themselves into a corner based on a theme of a four way habitation gone wrong. The solution is at the tip of Reece's tongue but he can't utter it! The "second husband" has to go or Sierra has to make up her mind as to who she prefers to be with on a full time basis. Oh and the smoking a joint together after dinner has to go immediately. Can you imagine any real male allowing his wife to spend special time EVERY evening with the second husband after the fourth character in the story passes away? We all know the answers to all of my questions. I think most of us also know where this is headed in the next Chapter. I will be plesantly surprised if this ridiculous situation is not brought to a head immediately. I hope you don't write yourself out of the corner you have created by bringing Julia and her child into the polygamous sham.

It is now apparent that the only point that this author wishes to make is that there are a significant number of females who feel entitled to both a system to provide for their every need and the right to fuck whoever they want. They insist upon it, they backhand others into it, they demand it. Okay: so what? So what, Ms. Author? So what?

Why do you feel that this is an important point to make.? You never show the other side of it. The female mc's are always caricatures of a wife and mother floating in a lala land of their own illusions. Is that to piss off the readers, get under their skin? Or are you committed to slowly, incrementally, inexorably change society to meet their expectations? What sayest thou?

Wow. What an adventure. I have to say, I'm sitting here trying to figure out how I both empathize with Reece and think he's a bit of a dick in the same thoughts....

If I could give this a 10 I would. Please don’t make us wait to long for the next instalment

Hi. I enjoy your writing, especially the LW stories. You really get into the minds of men. Maybe women to, but I'm a guy, so I can't tell. I have followed you LW stories from the beginning. Based only on your stories, you seem to have an evolving point of view. I would love to have a conversation about it, but if that is inconvenient, I end with: thanks for the stories and I hope to keep reading them.

Well written and thought provoking as is the norm from this author. Even when the content of the story or the direction the story takes isn't my normal cup of tea I can't wait to read and story this author comes out with.

In this story the whole shared relationship concept was doomed to fail from the start because the dynamic was out of balance from the start. When you have three people discussing something in depth on a regular basis but, then they say they wanted Reece to fall into it organically.. regardless of how compatible all 4 we're Sierra violated her marriage from the beginning by treating Reece as less than an equal partner.

It worked while Patience was alive because she actually made an effort to see that everyone was treated equally.

Without her it was always Leif and Sierra vs Reece no matter how Sierra tries to dress it up.

In 'The Date' the husband continued to say no and the wife went on anyway. Will she get him ass fucked just like in 'The Date'? Will she try and get him to have sex with a Transsexual? When all of the chapters are done, will the page count end up around 53, your a fifth of the way there now?

I'd write more but you don't read the comments anymore.

I don't see this as everyone else does, I have always been able to finish your other stories but this one I couldn't finish. I see thia as the destruction of two familys and two marriages. No I don't see it as homophobic, its not ok for someone to not want to go that route its a shame that every heterosexual is forced to believe there wrong for there believes. One star.

Everybody's least favorite cross dressing sissy is the queen of R & B, Repetitive & Boring.

And @ LenardSpencer, this writer detests men with testicular fortitude. And obvious character flaw on her/his part....

I enjoy where you take the reader - and your stories are long enough that the details of what makes them tick (and their internal struggles or justifications come thru). I figure you will get your share of readers that don't like this story because it doesn't tick all their boxes - I personally find that it is best to find a story that ticks a few of my boxes yet also presses me forward into some uncomfortable areas. Good job

Good beginning!

4

This man is basically traumatizing his kids. It's believable except the fact that none of the arguments hold. It's like the author just cut and paste different convos in random order. Where none of the previous dialogues hold any weight to the story. It's an actual flaw in the writing method, apart from good prose.

Another great story by Cagivagurl. Never fails to get me wound up and talking to myself. Five stars, of course. Randi.

I clicked on this story...having read all of this author's stories before.

So that means I already knew...even tho it is part 1...that this installment would be at least 8 pages. And sure enough it's 11 pages.

I also knew that there would be a married couple. And a wife that fucked another man or wanted to fuck another man...for some kind of stupid reason or with a justification of some kind. And her husband would be put into a position by all those around him...family. Friends. Coworkers. Whatever. To accept it. Reconcile. Forgive the cold blooded and ruthless way the wife treats his feelings and wishes. The husband is always weak. Indecisive. Because that's how Cagi writes all his (or her) LW stories. So I skipped straight back here to read comments.

And sure enough based on the comments here...it's obvious that's the formula for this one as well. With the simple twist it appears it being a wife swapping story (with a husband that is not really on board and is too weak to actually speak up and say "fuck this I'm not doing it"). Which is ridiculous when you think about it. How many average husbands in day to day life are actually going to let their wife strong arm them into accepting that they want to fuck other men? I mean you have the weirdo and emotionally damaged and stunted group of men/cucks who are turned on by it. But c'mon really how many of those are there in the world?? In actual marriages that last more than a few months into that lifestyle? The percentages of meeting one are actually lower than contracting polio.

And then it appears later in the story that it turns on the death of one of the married women in the wife swapping 4some ends up dying? So...since it's only fair...the remaining wife insists on some kind of permanent poly relationship of MFM where she is taking care of the widowed husband in addition to her own husband?

And her own husband just meekly accepts it? That this is his new status quo? He has to share his wife every day now with another man?

Poly relationships rarely work even when all of the parties are 100 percent fully invested in making it work.

Having one third of the poly relationship be unwilling or reluctant? Hahahahaha...yeah that'll work out well. It's a nonsense storyline from what I am reading in these comments.

It's like trying to convince the pacifist that war is good and he should learn to shoot and fight.

He's a pacifist for God's sakes. No matter how much target practice and practice knife fighting he gets he still isn't gonna be a warrior.

A husband that's reluctant to share his wife makes for a really poor partner in a poly relationship if you cannot figure that out.

And no amount of character development (cough, cough 11 pages) will explain it or justify as a good storyline. It just ends up making the wife character looking like a well developed character whore. Who needs strange dick no matter the cost. And the husband a well developed character pussy wimp who can't manage to adequately express himself.

I haven't decided yet if I'm actually going to invest the time to read another treatise on how married women and their needs and desires = good. And married men and their needs and desires = bad and subservient to needs of their wives. No matter how well the writing might be.

Sigh...I suppose in the next day or two I'll get bored and read through it. And have a number of chuckles as the author once again confirms his/her writing formula.

And then I'll probably have even more comments to make.

And I won't give a flying fuck if anyone likes them or doesn't like them.

If the author leaves comments open after writing 11 fucking pages in only the first installment? Then the author is asking for feedback and comments from all comers. So suck it.

One of your better efforts. In common with many of your stories, it is long and wordy, but unlike many of your stories, the length is justified. Your characters evolved and you have done a pretty good job of showing the thoughts behind the growth and given them some credibility. I will wait for the second part and hope that the protagonist doesn't get caught up in a yoyo relationship that stops evolving. Good job.

Good God.

Just fucking yuck.

Imagine the actual gall of trying convince and give ultimatums to your husband...your heterosexual husband...who you married with vows and had children with...that he needs to spend the rest of his life sleeping with and enjoying another man in his bed!

Hahahahaha...the concept as the basis of a story, and its use as plot device to create tension is laughable. Unbelievable. Nonsensical. Actually ridiculous.

"Hey sweetie...I know you are not gay. And you don't have homosexual tendencies at all. And we tried it before...with me and you and another man all sweaty and touching in the same bed together and you hated it. But geez honey...we think you are being unreasonable. If you'd just kind of change your very nature and just relax and learn to enjoy the feel of another man and accept that it makes me happy to fuck two men at once every night in the same bed...well then we'd all get along better. Right? I mean come on! What straight man doesn't want another set of hairy balls and a stiff dick poking around his body every night?! Be reasonable!"

Utterly nonsensical. Fantasy level writing I'd say, eh mate?

To the commentator who decided to fly the ermagerd homophobe flag - not being interested in guys isn't homophobia. You might note he tried it, and found it profoundly not interesting. That's it.

Don't be a crybully.

Its a decent if well worn plot idea. This version is so predictable and contrived that the product is mediocre and boring. Sierra wants her cake and to eat it too. Sierra's jealousy toward Julia is just more evidence of her juvenile entitled arrogance and self absorption. Leif just wants pussy, and Sierra is his for the asking, so why not ask? Reece is just the foil, the poltroon who thought he could rely on a wife who's marriage commitment has morphed into a polyamory relationship that is tilted toward the better funner fuck. Sierra gets the married secure dependable fuck from Reece, and the mind blowing recreational carefree fuck from Leif. Why should she not have both, she wonders? Both Sierra and Reece killed their monogamous marriage commitment; its not Sierra's fault that Patience died. She's the one who kept Reece satisfied while Sierra went off to get the monkey fucking she craved. Throwing the gorgeous Julia into the mix was just contrived and awkward. It would probably make Reece's feeling more sincere if Julia was some homely plain merely intelligent ethical woman and mother. Then Julia ghosts him for being honest and forth rightful with her, without a word of explanation? OK, sure, why not: you circus, your monkeys. Can't wait to see what the clowns do in the second act. Thanks for the effort.

Really interesting to see a sense of ownership ending the loving that existed while there was shared “property.” As soon as the property imbalance arose, the MC couldn’t hack it. Well written, an intriguing tale, 5 stars.

Let's hope that in the second chapter cagivabitch will have cuck Reece reconcile with his slut of a wife Sierra. Or maybe he will divorce her and they attend his slut's wedding to Leif and be his best man.

I saw it posted already, but haven't started reading the next chapter so I don't know where the story ends for certain. I think this chapter is a brilliant piece of work that leads the reader through the complexity of human relationships and pitfalls when venturing outside the norm. Unless you though us a curve ball, and you've been know to do that, the story has a known destination but incredible storytelling keeps us mesmerized with the chronicled journey. I went to bed late last night because I couldn't put your read down. Well done! 5*

These new, novel relationships always sound good when they are talked about. But there's an old British expression, "it's all fun an games until somebody has their eye taken out."

5* story, waiting for part 2.

A repetition of a repetition with similar characters, similar motives and almost exact setting. How aren't author is bored of themselves is beyond me. Shit, there were very decent stories before, how it all came down the drain?

This is another good story from your hand. a great story , you get 5 stars. I really liked this story

Always the same story with this author. Strong-willed wife screws other guys, but refuses to see a problem with it, blames the husband for being close-minded. Husband is weak and spineless. He'll reluctantly stand up for himself every now and then, but it won't last long; he'll knuckle under, doing what she wants even though he doesn't like it.

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Cagi's stories usually end up with the husband's total capitulation, doing whatever wifey wants because he's too weak to resist her constant badgering. I have two major problems with Cagi's stories: The husband is ALWAYS weak and indecisive and the wife ALWAYS browbeats the husband until he caves.

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Page after page, over and over, the wife rehashes the same situation and the same facts, hammering away at the poor bastard she supposedly loves. It's mind numbing. Sure, the stories differ somewhat in small details, but what I just outlined is a common Cagi story: he never wanders far from that theme. 2 stars.

Your writing just keeps getting better and better, Cagivagurl.

Don't read chapter two. The MC does an 180 and turns into a doormat. What a let down.

Cagivagurl is such a good writer but the readers are continually bombarded with repetitive information and minutiae that causes the story to drag. It’s a shame.

Your mc's always are unlikable or redeemable

Sadly Leif and Sierra’s characters are written as morons. It was discussed at the very beginning that if anyone had any issues at all, they would stop and no one would be hurt or upset. You continue to write them as nothing but brick walls. No matter what the MC says, they act as if they never hear him. That really makes it hard for the reader, especially when you started out writing them as very intelligent characters. Changing their demeanor mid story is the kiss of death.

Same crap different setting.

After reading this a second time, I feel like reese is a pussy it should never have gone on this long. It is not my cup of tea, I don't understand how you can supposedly love two like this and make anything work I don't in honesty get it. I enjoy your writing style how you express emotion and how I actually see this kind of interaction happening. Also thank you for allowing us to express our feelings about your work, so many authors are afraid of criticism. Thank you again

Yeah Reese is the selfish one right? Nobody gives a shit that he's hurting as well it's all about those two POS's. Cut your losses buddy and get the fuck out!

Well a smorgasbord of scenario's and emotions all tossed into the blender, this is going to end badly no matter how glossy the MC wants to paint it. It's the highway bro but then your lot from NZ, well lets just say "play the ball not the fellow hey!" [for what its worth you have written better, maybe just let it flow instead of pushing it up hill.]

I think the polyamory aspect was a good approach for an LW story. Perhaps it would have helped if everyone had an issue to overcome for it to happen. This way when Reece can’t get resolve his issues, there would be more understanding from the others. Not that that would stop the relationship from developing, but it might make the drama more interesting for the reader.

Patience was always the nucleus of the group so it made sense for her to be the one to go. The brain tumor as the catalyst was a bit of a surprise though. I have some experience with glioblastoma and how everything and everyone is effected. I’m glad you glossed over it though because I don’t think you could have carried on with the story if you knew what it’s really like.

I think I read in the beginning that Reece is an only child. I have friends who are poly, swingers, and live a variety of lifestyles. From conversations about different types of relationships, I have heard that only children have the hardest time with non monogamy. Not sure why, maybe it’s nature vs nurture of a single focus for parents vs sharing the focus over others. Anyway…

Some things I expect to see in the next chapter will be.

1. The agreement between the two couples in obtaining the hotel. I expect that there will be complications due to Patience’s death. Leif will have 50% stake while Reece and Sierra will have 25% each. I can see this leading to forcing Reece into an impossible situation.

2. I think Reece is looking at leaving Sierra, perhaps divorcing her. The hotel has to be big enough for him to have a separate residence for him to set up in. If he were to be forced into staying there, either due to emotional, financial, or paternal reasons, then that could be a possibility.

3. Julia, in my opinion, has served her role in the story. She has given Reece the opportunity to see what he has missed in his marriage to Sierra and what he could have again with someone else. She has gone as far as she can with Reece. Her ideas of a relationship are strictly monogamous and while Reece is wanting that again, he is still with Sierra. So I think that she pulled back because she wants something he can’t give. Thus her part is over as far as a romantic relationship with Reece is concerned.

Well, let’s see what happens next

Another certified Banger 🔥🔥🔥

There will always be hurt feelings, lying, sneaking, jealousy, cheating, rules broken and one always being left out . It just don’t work unless one is so submissive and weak

Amazing writing again. They could make a movie from this. Keep it up.

Great story 5 stars

Sierra is a POS. It's hard to like a story when the characters are so vile and disgusting. Sierra is a spoiled princess who no one ever told her no.

Reece should work the door at this hotel. He’s a perfectly qualified doormat!

I'm not sure if you are trying to get the readers to purposely dislike Sierra or whether you actually think she is right. She isn't. She is a selfish manipulating c*nt with no redeeming qualities.

Beta male problems. Simple as.

I am on page 3. This is the same story as ‘open dating’ with ‘ethereal superior, broad minded wife’ making all kinds of relationship experiences with wet blanket narrow minded man.

Because if things go wiggly, Sierra can stay in the hotel, fucking Reece’s replacement, emotionally supported by Hippie Patience and she keeps the Hotel, the Kids and gets a compensation cock.

Patience gets a replacement for when she is feeling down.

Lief gets to fuck two women with the emotional validation of taking another man’s wife, investment and kids

Is Cavugirl going to acknowledge that Reece is actually risking enormously more than Hottie Patience and Hottie Sierra, who could dump both men and still have full Tinder DMs?

Possibly. I have a doubt

Okay, back to the "if you can't accept open marriage you are wrong" attitude. So Reece gets fucked again, and again, and again.... because he wants a real life partner - a wide - to share their lives and not with a third wheel. I'll wait for chapter two and hope this gets away from husband bashing!!! Lief has the best of it all no wife free sex and little or no kid care or responsibility - oh, yeah, the free sex and love hippie attitude - yeah, that turned out so well.

Interesting take on the genre. I can totally see both sides here: Reese believed that it was basically an extended bit of wife swapping that is convenient, the others saw this as an encompassing relationship. The problem is that even Patience interpreted a No as a “maybe in the future.”

It was a bad move for Reese to agree because his worldview is simply not in line with the others’ and he would’ve always been at a disadvantage.

Cagivagurl is one seriously fucked up writer. I guess being a trans is in itself a confusing twist of nature. Then to top it up ..not being sure of ur emotions never allows one to reach mental maturity and emotional stability so required for a stable married life. And that is what shows through in the writers stories.. emotionally stunted females ( maybe the writers take on her imagined self) and totally wimpy men ( again the writers take of men in her fantasy world).. that actually allows her to survive each day with actually facing the truth of her life!

Couldn't stop reading this story! Excellent!

On to part 2..........

Wow Reece was getting victimized and both Sierra and Leof are unempathetic and clueless. Time for a divorce!