The Unwanted Swap Ch. 01

I would like to say a big thank you to Randi who did a fabulous job of editing my garble, and helped turn it into something readable.

*

When Rose, my wife, screamed, "For gods sake hurry up." It reverberated around the house. This was not something I was looking forward to.

Having agreed to the party, I was going to have to follow through. I stood staring in the mirror wondering how the fuck we ended up in this position.

It started about six months ago. She was hunting down a new CEO for one of her biggest clients.

Rose worked as a recruitment specialist, commonly referred to as a headhunter. The company had targeted who they wanted; Rose's job was to make sure he accepted the offer. She had used most of her usual tricks but, he had played hard to get, and it dragged on and on.

She was at the stage where she was going to fail for the first time in her well documented career, when for some reason he changed his mind and agreed to sign.

We were headed to a party at his place.

"Come on, Eddie, stop fluffing around; we are going to be bloody late."

She burst through the bathroom door, giving me an angry glare. "Shit, Eddie, you haven't even got dressed, come on, get a bloody move on."

She was dressed like we were of to the Met Gala, I was dressed nicely, but no suit. "I am dressed, I was just doing my hair. God, give me a break."

She looked aghast. "You have to be bloody kidding. Please tell me you are joking?"

"Rose, you know how I feel about all that crap. I'm not getting dressed up like a frigging peacock."

"Peacock, my arse. Jeez, Eddie, every man at the party will be dressed in a suit. You are going to stand out like a sore thumb."

"So what? It's just a party."

"Eddie, please, just wear the bloody suit. Stop trying to be the bloody rebel. At some point you have to grow up. You are not the bad boy you think you are."

Rose travelled in pretty high circles, and I sort of floundered around somewhere much lower. I worked as a project engineer/ manager. I had only the day before returned from a project in Scotland, where I was the lead civil engineer. I had returned to accompany Rose to this bloody party.

She nestled up to me seductively. "Eddie, Love. Wear the suit and have a shave and I promise I will make it all worth your while."

I sniggered derisively. "You already owe me. Let's not forget you already promised me an unforgettable night just for going to this damn party."

She kissed me sexily. "Babe, just go with the flow, and I promise if you have a sexual fantasy, I will fulfil it for you; just do it for me."

I gasped. "Are you saying that regardless of what I ask you will do it?"

She nodded hesitantly. "Yes, my Love, I sure will."

'You know what I am going to ask for don't you?"

She scowled. "Yes, I know what the price will be."

I laughed snidely before nodding. "Okay, okay. Give me a couple of minutes."

"Thanks, babe." She was half way out the door when I said, "Remind me to pick up some KY lubricant on the way home."

She winced at my remark, but closed the door behind her. I chuckled. There was no way I was using her bribe. I could see by how upset she was that this meant a lot to her. I took extra care shaving and doing my hair.

I pulled on the suit, although I left off the tie.

Wandering down into the front room I saw her look up from her phone. "Oh, thank god, but where's your tie?"

"Sorry, bub, I draw the line at the tie. Come on, I put on the damned suit."

She nodded. "Yes, thank you. But you know, no tie, and we won't be needing the lube?"

I shrugged. "So be it."

There was a cheeky smile on her face as she whispered. "Thank you, sweetheart."

I led her out to the car and as I opened the door for her, she looked troubled as she tucked her dress in tightly before slipping on her seat belt. "Eddie, I think we should talk about the party tonight."

I shut the door and walked around to the drivers side. As I slipped into the seat. I sighed nervously. "Yeah, what about it?" I slipped the key into the ignition and was backing down the driveway when she sucked in a deep breath and muttered hesitantly, "Eddy, Claire and Anthony are swingers."

I choked, stomping on the brakes causing the car to lock up and slide to a halt. "What did you say? Swingers, as in wife swapping and shit?"

She nodded, "Yes, tonight is one of their special get togethers."

"So tonight is a swinger's party?"

She nodded silently. I was dumbfounded; this is something we had never even talked about. What the hell do you say in a situation like this... I decided on, "I assume they realise we will not be joining in the festivities?"

Just then I heard a car's horn blaring behind us. I glanced up, noticing how much road I was taking up. I pulled over, parking half on the pavement to give them space to pass. The cars zoomed past, all tooting vociferously, giving us the fingers and a serve as they made their displeasure well and truly felt.

I turned the car off as we sat there, the silence descending over us. It took a few minutes before she smiled coquettishly, playing with her hair, curling it around her little finger. "Well, I sort of thought it might be interesting. Honey, when Claire and Anthony told me about it, I admit I was nervous and a little shocked but it got me thinking, and yes, now that I have thought about it I wouldn't mind giving it a go... so to speak."

I was flabbergasted. Leaning back against the seat, I grumbled, "You're telling me out of the blue you want to join a bloody swingers group... God almighty, Rose, the answer's no, god no, I think we should sit this one out. Shit, you spring it on me at the last minute, I haven't even had time to think about it and the answer is no."

She slumped dejectedly in her seat. "Please, love, it might be fun. We haven't seen much of each other lately; we are both so busy, this might be fun."

I struggled to find words to express myself, my anger and the feeling I had been tricked. Angrily I snarled, "The answer is still no."

After what felt like an age she suggested, "Well, could we at least go and enjoy the party? I mean we don't have to join in." Her voice, which had echoed disappointment, changed dramatically and suddenly she had a musical warble. "But I have to say, love, once you meet Claire you might change your mind; she is a very beautiful woman."

I thought about if for a while and after her continued beseeching, I relented. "Okay, Rose, but I need to make it plain and simple. We are going along as nothing more than spectating party goers, and that's it... Christ, I am not into that shit and I am shocked that you even bloody considered it."

She winced. "Sorry, I should have told you earlier so we could talk about it, but can we please go with an open mind; they are lovely people."

On the way there, it was Tony this, Claire that, and I was sick of their names by the time we pulled up outside what I can only describe as a flaming mansion. It was on the outskirts of a small village, and sat back off the road surrounded by posh gardens. The long sweeping driveway was filled with flash cars: Mercedes, BMW's a Rolls and I think even a Porsche. Jesus, I felt embarrassed parking the little Corolla behind them. It was hard not to feel a little intimidated and more than a little impressed.

As we walked up the steps and rang the bell, my heart pounded uncontrollably. What a flaming place. Shit, they must be worth a few quid.

The door opened and we were greeted by this astonishingly attractive woman. She was older than we were, perhaps in her late forties, but absolutely stunning. She was tall and willowy with gorgeous long blonde hair that glistened in the light, framing a face straight off an old cover of Vogue. Her dress was more a gown, long and flowing with a long split up the side showing a hint of the incredibly sexy legs hiding underneath. She beamed brightly, leaning in for a kiss with Rose. "Hello, Rosemary, my darling?" She cooed in a very posh upper crust accent. She turned to me and hesitated. "You must be Edwin, Welcome, come on in and meet the gang."

As we walked in, she held out a crystal bowl full of car keys. She smiled knowingly at me and whispered breathlessly. "Drop your keys in there, darling."

I looked at Rose who teasingly reached over and went to lift them out of my clutching hand, but I held on tightly, muttering, "Sorry, Claire we are here just for the party, nothing else."

Claire frowned. "I don't understand?" She glanced at Rose, sighing. "Look, I'm sorry but the party is closed and is only for our closest friends. If you aren't interested in joining in, then I'm not sure that we can accommodate you."

Rose grabbed her arm, "Please, Claire, it's just that Eddy is a bit shy and I caught him off guard. He's feeling a little shell-shocked; I sort of sprung it on him last minute. We would love to come in; we won't be any bother and once Eddy settles in and meets people, I'm hoping he might change his mind." She glared pleadingly at me for support, but I kept my mouth shut.

Claire seemed to ponder her decision for a while before sighing. "Oh, very well, but I have to say I am feeling a little betrayed. I told all our friends that we had some new members and they are all dying to meet you."

She slipped her arm through Rose's and they walked in front of me. My mouth was so dry it felt like she had emptied a bucket of sand in it.

The house was incredible, an old country estate, renovated, although dated, it looked every part the fine country estate, elegantly decorated with ornate period furniture. The foyer/entrance was huge and there was light music playing as we walked into an enormous reception area. There must have been about ten couples, all dressed to the nines. All the men wore suits and the women were all immaculately dressed in flowing formal wear. As I glanced around the room, we were definitely the youngest by a very big margin.

Claire escorted us over to a tall well-built guy who looked to be even older than Claire. He obviously worked out a lot or he played sport of some description; his build was very athletic and he looked pretty good for a guy his age. He would be defined as strong jawed, with powerful bright focused eyes, a gentleman who was ageing well. As we approached, he leaned in close to Rosemary and planted a very long kiss on her lips, no cheek pecking here.

He stuck out his hand. "So you must be Edwin. Nice to meet you, Rosemary has told us so much about you, we have been dying to catch up." His handshake was strong and firm, too firm, perhaps? He looked me straight in the eye as he spoke.

He dragged me around the group, introducing me to the men. It was a weird feeling: I could feel the eyes of the women on me. It was like I was the fresh meat at the supermarket. It all gave me a very disturbing vibe. We had been there less than an hour and I was ready to get the hell out. From the moment we arrived, Claire grabbed Rosemary's hand and dragged her away to introduce her to the women, leaving me to fend for myself. I wandered over to the bar and asked for a beer. The barman leaned over and said, "Try the kitchen, mate. No beer here. Why not try a scotch? It's the good stuff."

With a shake of the head, I wandered off to the kitchen. As I walked in, I was stunned. The place sparkled; quartz, stainless steel, everything shone. I found some beers in the bottom, and as I hunted for an opener, I had this unquenchable desire to bang the top on the edge of the bench to take the top off. With my patience running out, I finally found an opener.

I wandered back into the party, feeling much better with a beer.

I felt uncomfortable and awkward, the conversation was mostly business and golf, neither of which interested me in the least. I was definitely a fish out of water.

Rose, however was in her element and I watched as she giggled and laughed with a collection of women. She certainly didn't look out of place, she was right at home. I found a quiet space and waited for an opportunity to get the hell out.

Claire must have been feeling sorry for me standing by myself. "You are a shy one, aren't you darling?"

I nodded. "Yes, I suppose I am."

We stood silently for a few moments, neither of us knowing what to say. She eventually said, "Rosemary, tells me you are an engineer."

I nodded. "Yes."

"You work up in Scotland or something?"

"Yes, at the moment. Working on a bridge replacement."

"I see; how long will you be up there for?"

"Oh, not sure really. If we make it in on schedule, then another couple of months."

"Rosemary said she misses you a lot at the moment."

"I have been gone a long time for this project. Much longer than normal."

As we stood and talked, the band started up.

The dance floor quickly filled with couples swaying around to the music. Anthony picked Rose straight away, and he held her very close as they danced. His embrace was much closer than would be considered acceptable or appropriate for a client customer relationship, but as I looked at the other couples, it wasn't out of place here that's for sure. I still could not get my head around the fact that all these people were here for sex.

Claire sighed, picked up my hand and said in her most toffee-nosed accent. "Come along, darling, lets introduce you to the girls."

"Girls," I sniggered to myself. "Pensioners, more like. Aside from us, Claire was probably the youngest woman there."

She led me over to a group of women who were congregated together, sipping their champagne. I don't think the fact I was drinking beer straight from a bottle impressed any of them, either. As I looked around the group, they were as I said, in their very late forties, at least, and most I would describe as fading lights. Claire did the introductions, and as I talked to the group they seemed to slowly warm to me and it lightened up. One of them, Karen, asked me to dance.

As we circulated I noticed Rose still dancing with bloody Anthony. Karen was shorter than I was, and a very shapely, read slightly overweight, woman. Being shorter than I was, I could feel the heat radiating from her body as we danced. Her dress was a very thin flowing silk fabric, her big bouncy bosoms flattened against my lower chest. I tried to keep my distance, but she held on tightly, rubbing her fanny against my leg and she whispered in my ear. "This is the first time for you at one of Claire's parties, isn't it?"

I nodded and she smiled warmly. "Thought so, you look so very nervous, love, just relax and enjoy it, ducky."

"Ducky..." Oh god, that's what my mum used to say.

I was far from comfortable and definitely wasn't enjoying it. In fact, I was rather pissed off. After a couple of songs I made an excuse and escorted Karen back to her group. I turned quickly before anyone else had a chance to say anything, went back into the dancing group and patted Anthony on the shoulder. "Sorry to interrupt, but I would like to dance with my wife." He looked a little disappointed and Rose didn't look happy, either, but as he moved away, I pulled her tightly into my arms. She did not fight, me sliding in close as we circulated, her bubbly happy mood becoming apparent. "Are you having fun, baby?" She whispered.

"No, not really, honey, this is not my cup of tea I am afraid. Look, I know this is important for your business, but this is bullshit. Let's leave them to their sordid little swap and sneak away as soon as we can, I am sure you can come up with some polite excuses."

She leaned back, looking up into my eyes. "Come on, babe, don't be a stick in the mud; I am having such a wonderful time, its fab, look at all the women, they are so elegant and the fashion, it is just wonderful. And well, I have to say the men... Look at them; they all look so debonair. Honey, you promised to keep an open mind tonight." She frowned, "Just try and relax and have some fun?"

"You are joking of course aren't you? Have fun... with this bloody lot... Not bleedin likely" I whispered disbelievingly. "They should all be in a flaming pensioner's home."

I was expecting a giggle, but when I looked, no she wasn't impressed with my comment. "You are just being silly. Look around, everybody is dancing and chatting. Love, it is so nice to be having a night out. Christ, this is so much better than Saturday night down at the bloody pub."

When I just groaned she whispered. "What did you think of Claire? She is gorgeous isn't she?"

I laughed. "She's all right for and old bird; she must be nearly as old as my mum. In fact, they probably went to school together." I was attempting to make light of it, but still make my point.

She settled back against me as we danced. "So you didn't find her attractive?"

"Like I said, she is all right for an old bird, but I feel totally out of place here. I can't wait to get away from the pompous snobs."

"Eddie, please, don't stuff this up. Tony is very important; don't make a scene."

"Shit, Rose listen to the music we are dancing to. I think it's from the fifties, same era as all these people. It's old and morbid just like them. I could go out to the car and grab some CD's and try to rev the place up."

She pushed me hard on the shoulder. "Don't be an arse; just relax. Some of these women might be able to teach you some new tricks."

"Yeah, like scrabble or bingo maybe."

"Eddie, look around; some of these women look bloody sexy. Surely there must be one here who takes your fancy?"

"There is only one woman here who I want to be with, and she is in my arms right now, and luckily we will be leaving together very soon."

Just then a man tapped me on the shoulder. "Would you mind if I cut in old man?"

I responded with a shake of my head. "Sorry, mate, but yes I would mind." He stood there staring at me as if he heard incorrectly. I pulled Rose back in tight and guided her away.

She was pissed. "That was bloody rude, Eddie; he just wanted to dance."

"Sorry, but I am not giving up the only sexy woman in the place."

Visibly miffed, she stepped quickly out of my arms and I had to follow her as she walked off to get drinks. We were standing together at the bar, when Anthony approached and held out his arm to Rose, asking for another dance. "Shall we my dear?" he asked.

She glared mockingly at me, brushing my hand away, smiled sweetly at him and said, "I would love to." They walked back to the dance area and she fell easily into a dance. As I watched, I noticed that a lot of the couples were snogging and making out: some while dancing and a couple hidden away in dark recesses. Now I was getting really nervous and angry, as well, all I wanted to do was get the hell out of there.

As I stood fuming quietly Claire walked over and we started to chat. I sucked in a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves. She kept it light and easy going, mostly about Rose, but I felt her hips rubbing against my groin as she slid her arm around my waist. "Are you enjoying the night?" she cooed softly.

I lied. "Yes, its nice, thank you."

"Really, because you don't look like you are enjoying it; what's the problem?"

"Look, Claire, I don't want to insult you but this just doesn't interest me."

She cooed soothingly, "Yes, darling, I got that from your refusal to join in."

Unable to hold back any longer I asked, "Why do you do it?" I tried not to sound judgemental but it was hard.

She smiled, "We enjoy it, I understand that perhaps it's not everybody's cup of tea, but we enjoy it."

When I didn't say anything, she gave my waist a gentle squeeze, "Tony and I see love and sex as separate things, one emotional and one physical. You can enjoy sex without loving the person you are in bed with."

She smiled sexily. "Darling, we both enjoy sex and we find that sharing with other like minded people is very enjoyable."