All Comments on 'The House'

We sure don't get enough of these.

I look forward to more of your stories

Great writing. Well done.

The fucking she got for the fucking she tried to give her husband was to good to be true.

Gary

I've heard women say that men are 'clueless' at times. This husband was indeed clueless. He was essentially an honest man working hard for himself and his family. His female friend tried to tell him to watch out for himself but he could not take the hint.

This was a enjoyable story to read and very realistic in the outcome. You avoided partnering he and his 'friend' but allowed them but to find happiness none the less. You also made the retribution very public and that was also refreshing. I look forward to more of your stories.

the "punishment" never seems to fit the "crime"! lol

we don't know much about Patty (other than that she works for the husband, doing transcription?) along with the friend, Alix, whom we thought the husband might married after his disastrous marriage fell apart.

as said, it's good that the writer didn't go with the easy, cliched formula. it's more important that they remain good friends who can support each other during difficult times.

the demolishing of a big, expensive house --- intended for his "beloved" --- showed how he utterly rejected that kind of a person, who's so cold-blooded she'd set him up like that.

but here's the thing: the AUTHOR has not explained WHY such a person, seemingly intelligent and loving --- married to a loyal, rich, and loving husband --- would contrive such a cold-blooded way to hurt him. Why?

She's not dead or muted.

have her explain WHY she would do such a thing to her husband, a person she knew from college. Her parents seemed stable, loving, and supportive (indeed, she's back with her parents, with the bastard kid; poor kid!)

there has to be a "reason" other than that she's bi-polar; just enjoys masochism (enjoys hurting herself).

can she ever redeem herself, rebuild herself to be a person CLOSE to the one her former husband loved so much, from college days until when he heard the transcription of her discussions with her lover and how they had hurt the hard working husband?

she's human and has emotions, has needs for love and cherishing, right?

I can't place where, and it may have been by the same author, but I remember this from a few years ago. I was certain when I reached the part about him demolishing the house and playing the tape.

I did like the story, and the fact that you didn't portray the husband as a wimp husband. So the story was excellent, but I thought I was reading simple dialogue.

Just some feedback, do some character development. Add some meat to the story. The explanation at the end was nice, but some of it could have been explained during the story. Why did Gary and Diana need the money? Why did Diana suggest it of all things? What was going through Beth Ann's head to be so ... cruel?

I loved the story, but I think it could have used some more meat to make it that much more enjoyable. Maybe even show the interaction between Alexis and the husband to bring home that they're just friends, and nothing more now.

An excellent revenge against a cheating slut. I hope to see some similar stories from you in the future. Keep up the good work.

Hope for more in the same vein. Keep up the good work.

Rambulator:

You can count me among those who enjoy reading of the comeuppances of cheating spouses. And I did appreciate that the husband you penned was not a wimp who dashed to hide in the closet the minute he found out his wife was cheating on him. But I sure don't get why she did it. She already benefitted from her husband's apparent business acumen. Why in the world did she want to share any of it with her neighbors? And just how much did Gary and Diana think they were going to get from child support (was Beth Anne intending to divorce Paul?) and a college fund? This plot sounds pretty flimsy to me. And lastly, why would Beth Anne betray her husband so callously? Everything you wrote described what appeared to be a happy marriage. Too many holes in this story for me. A non-wimp husband does not a good story make.

No loving wussy husband here - your real normal male audience appreciates your theme and abilities to write - we ask for more of the same (regardless of the sex of the cheater).

A non-wimp husband does make a good story. What you're worried about is a little more detail.

But you're right. Just where Beth Anne's improvement would lie I can't see, either.

what's wrong with y'all? from her intelligently devised activities, with that loving couple, the wife gets a bundle of joy! if her husband, as usual, is too stupid to know what's good for him. the workaholic is so stupid, he even demolished a beautiful house, which cost close to a million to build! we know who has the intelligence and foresight in this story!

A story for the honest hardworking husbands.... Why did he do the house... because she loved it so that was the best way to hurt her after the way she hurt him... Also very well written

but at the end, the thing that matters is that the husband is NOT a wimp, and didn't let his wife get what she wanted.

When Alexis stated she was sure a rare man was besoming free, I was sure she would be with him. Especially after Beth Ann made the statement that Alexis was in love with him.

That answer escaped me. Also destroying the house. A bill of sale, or some such, couldn't do it? Dramatic, yes. But Practical? Is his name actually Rockefeller?

Good. Thanks.

Stupid story. Only a fool would destroy a house.

Loved it up until the very end. Well written and interesting. Why would you build up Alexis and then have him end up with Patty (an unknown character)? The ending was also a little abrupt.

great BTB. loved the dozers doing the new house.

Short and sweet.

and sneaking out through the cellar, TK U MLJ LV NV

How does demolishing a house you're building hurt the Bitch Wife who is trying to hang a bastard child around your neck as she files for divorce? Don't see the logic or the economics! Hope none of the construction money was borrowed!

So Hubby ends up with a woman almost totally unknown to the readers! Get a clue and marry a widow or divorcee in your own social circle, rather than a Trophy Wife who may well bilk you even more thoroughly!

2*

I can understand why Gary went after her (although it's a pretty stupid way to go about getting someone's money), but why would the wife fall for that? Answer: She wouldn't. Which is why the story doesn't make sense, and isn't really very good. goal oriented stories don't work, because the characters act in service of plot, and not as real people. And if there was some reason that wife falls for the scheming neighbor, then that should have been written into the story. Otherwise, she's just an excuse for a BTB. And if that's your fetish, then that's what it is, but it isn't good story telling.

Another good find in the archives. Like the revenge of destroying the house. Should have destroyed Gary.

I'm not a big fan of one page stories. It just seems like about the time you're getting into the story, it's over.

Also, the recorder was telegraphed a mile away. It would have been better if you could have found a better way. There was just no surprise or shock value at all. I think it could have been worked out better with a little more thought and maybe another page.

...you never answered the "Why?" question.

Saw some of ending but not house damn stupid

Don't care about why. By lot of comments on stories others do

I don't understand myself for once you cheat do the crime due the time

Revenge and punishment. Once in great while if circumstances are really special forgive and reconciliation

Why I am getting older menopause something different etc etc etc

Divorce and play all day and night

I don't know who thought this was well written!

Incorrect punctuation, odd capitalization, and this: "She and I knew that there was would never be in love like you and I were." "Was would?"

I agree with those who say that one page wasn't enough for this story, it felt rushed. There was no need to make us wait till the end to hear the tape, it's not like it was a big twist!

And demolishing the house???

I know it’s just a story, but it’s stupid to waste the money!

i don't like paternity stories. They are too sad and they bring me down.