All Comments on 'The Hyacinth House Pt. 03'

Your writing is like fine cuisine, filling and tasty, until we get to the final course. Desert served hot can quickly turn into a sticky, overly-sweet puddle of goo. The dialogue of these characters leaves me feeling slightly nauseous, as if I've been forced to consume too much sugar. It's hideously overdone and when hot turns lukewarm, it's nothing more than a mushy, sickening sweet mess. It loses all appeal. Recipes are written so we can find a controlled balance of blended flavors. Writing, like 'baking from scratch', is much easier said than done. Do some dialogue blending... currently, yours is like starched laundry, stiff and scratchy. It irritates. No one in this day is so haughty, especially not in bed or the events leading up to sex. Your characters become lost in the facade of wealth and feudal station you've created. Just let them be people and do what people naturally do. (Consider this: 'formals' are 'formal' because they are rare, special events, occasions where rare special people gather and co-mingle, behaving as we (commoners) rarely do and appearing as we rarely appear to others. If 'formal' events, people and dialogue happened every day, they'd no longer be 'formal'; they'd be ordinary, commonplace. Less is more. Give us less so that we can enjoy it more.

Wow, this guy can write!

The sexual Scene description is out of this world. It does detail the characters feelings well. I am still unsure exactly why Maddy had a slight meltdown, was it necessary? In the end it does not matter, this is beautiful writing and a good story.

I think the anonymous commenter missed the point that Jillian and Adam were playing off each other, playing games. Jillian IS theatrical and over-dramatic, wanting a performance, wanting to be Dita Von Teese; and Adam played along with all that. But Maddy being a simpler girl, less flamboyant than Jilly, she was eventually overwhelmed by everything. Adam and Jilly let go their facades to care for their girl. It's a story about undressing, removing layers, finding comfort under a warm blanket next to hot bodies. I thought it was all sticky and yummy, but not messy.

TJ

Your writing is so detailed. You draw the reader into the story, the moods and emotions of the characters. I could almost smell the sex ;->

Another wonderful series. You give so much to the women in your stories, and we benefit. xox

This is the most erotic, sexy and sensual series i have read. Absolutely fantastic. I will now be sesrching more of yourvstories..I do so hope you have similar..but..will you beat this series..NEVER_..love it. Thank you.

Firgive me..I have had some fantastic wanks reading these..thank you again💋💋💋💋