The Idiot, the Farmer and Me Ch. 02

I bit my bottom lip and rolled towards him, kissing his still wet lips tasting, I guessed, vaguely of me.

"You cheeky bastard!" I giggled, "now for the final test, you really need to take some clothes off and fuck me."

"Really? All of that not enough?"

I shook my head and undid the buttons on his polo shirt,

"Sorry Dave, there's still the final test that all of the equipment is still working and that means you getting you gear off and getting up me, a bit sharpish if you don't mind."

"Oh, Well if you say so."

"I absolutely insist Dave," I kissed him again before manhandling his shirt over his head and making a grab for his belt and trouser fastening.

Within seconds he was as naked as I and I was pulling him over me parting my thighs and feeling his erection pressing against me. I thought about my condoms in my bag.

"I'm not on the pill Dave," I said.

"No worries, I had the snip years ago, so..."

That was all I needed to hear and pulled him up so his hard cock was where it needed to be and with a single hard thrust from him and a single 'oh fuck yeah' from me he was inside my sopping swollen puss and fuck wasn't he 'in me'. Having never had any other penis in me other than the Idiot Ex, to feel Dave be not only the first but had to be at least twice the size of the last and was soon establishing the most wonderful rhythm, sawing in and out of me and bringing me to a climax I hadn't seen coming.

I hugged him through it, gasping in my pleasure, hissing a few 'Oh God's into his ear as he fucked me blissfully and wonderfully, his hands over my tingling, goose-pimpled body.

Being on my fifth or sixth come while he was still not on the scorecard, I hugged him tight and squeezed him with my thighs encouraging him to fuck me and to fuck me hard, crying out my pleasure in the same way I had with the Idiot Ex when I wanted him to finish quick so I could go to sleep.

Only when it had been with Les there was no real pleasure to it - it was just a very simple climb over me, stick it in and screw me 'til he came and waddle to the bathroom; it was OK but nothing like the thrills I was getting from my new lover, and all that happened this time was that he did just what I asked him and fucked me harder and I came again! Evidently that was enough and I felt Dave grow the tiniest bit, then growl and groan as his orgasm took him and I felt the hot jets of his pleasure splash around inside me.

"There," said Dave carrying out his final gentle thrusts to bring us both down and brushing my slightly damp hair back from my face, "that all seemed to work OK."

"Brilliantly," I said kissing him on the nose, feeling just the greatest emotion and affection for my tender and passionate lover.

"You were fantastic Sam," he said kissing me again, "your body is soooo fucking sexy it was all I could do not to come."

I fabricated a look down my naked body, as he slid to one side of me.

"What, this old thing?"

"Oh come on Sam," he said grinning and so very gently resting his chin on the slope of my breast, "you're fucking gorgeous," he rested his hand on my still tender pussy, so wet and flushed from his attention.

I thought about what Denise had said to me the week before when she loaned me her stretchy dress, about my hourglass figure and my tits that had defied gravity for so long.

"Not bad I suppose," I said wrinkling my nose a bit and leaning forward to kiss him on the lips, "I have to admit that you seem extremely easy on the eye too David."

He smiled and leaned the few inches forward to kiss me back,

"We are obviously extremely good for each others ego's!"

"And quite rightly, Dave..." I said, "that's the absolute best sex I've ever had."

"Seriously?"

"Honest," I admitted with a cringe, "never came through just shagging, Fuck what am I saying I never came with a man before,"

He looked rather surprised if a little pleased with himself.

"Glad to be of service!"

"OK, it was the best servicing I've ever had!" I giggled. He laughed back and pulled me tight into his arms and we kissed.

We lay together kissing and canoodling for another twenty minutes until I needed the ladies room and excused myself. I felt slightly self-conscious about walking to the bathroom naked but figured that Dave had stripped me, suckled on my boobs before feasting on my genitalia so there really were no secrets between us.

When I got back it was to find the bed turned down and my lover already tucked in and the lights turned down. I unzipped my overnight bag reaching in for my T-shirt nightdress.

"Cold?" said Dave.

I held it to myself,

"Force of habit," I said, "don't forget my daughter only moved out completely ten months ago."

Dave smiled,

"How is she and my erstwhile nephew, have you heard from them?"

I explained that I'd had a postcard from them the week before but hadn't spoken as it were.

I yawned,

"Come here," he said raising an arm, and putting my nightie on the chair I climbed under the thick duvet into his king size bed and felt him pull me into the loveliest cuddle.

Now The Idiot Ex was never a cuddler while I definitely was; I think because of my distant, nasty father the rest of us - Mum, Mike, Den and me all cuddled for comfort, except for the rare occasion Dad was there.

The Idiot Ex would put his arm around me as an indication of ownership and outward display of affection - to everyone else. I had been hugged in the Club more times than ever at home, just because Les had wanted to send out a message to the rest of the clientele, especially the blokes, that Sammy was 'taken' and no longer on the market, untouchable. A slow arm wrapped around my shoulder was always nice, until I realised a few years after we were married that it was because he'd seen another man looking at me, not because he had any greater feeling for me at that instance.

Dave pulled me back into a spoons position and, other than sex, it was the first time I'd ever been held like that! It was lovely and I fell asleep really quickly.

I woke next morning by myself in his large bed, still naked with a faint throb in my groin where I had come so many times the night before from my talented lover. I looked across at the bedside clock and saw that it was just a bit before seven and my predictable body had brought me round at work o'clock, just as it normally did every day of the week, including Saturdays and Sundays.

Dave was up and the huge bed felt even huger and it wasn't just a case of swinging my legs over to get up, in this king size I actually had to shuffle. I got up, used his ensuite again and put on the T-shirt from the top of my bag and walked down the stairs to the living room and through to the kitchen.

As I went, I saw that he had been up and I could hear noise from outside, Farmer Dave was up and at his work obviously. I filled the kettle and switched it on, before wandering across to the kitchen door to see him dressed in shorts and yesterday's polo shirt walking around with Russ cantering and dancing around him as Dave sang 'Something tells me I'm into something good'. He was obviously very pleased with himself and I guess that having some quite splendid sex with, even if I say so myself, a hot shapely MILF must have set him up for a good night's sleep and an even better awakening.

I heard the click of the kettle and made two mugs of tea carrying both before me as I walked barefoot out into the large clean and clear farmyard.

Dave had just reached 'we only danced for a minute or two' line when he turned and saw me,

"Sam!" he shouted in delight which had Big Russ bounding across the yard towards me dancing around me this time.

I stopped, putting both cups on an abandoned milk churn before bending to greet my new furry friend. The dog got very silly and shy and walked around me brushing his big furry body against my legs while I rubbed his head telling him what a good boy he was.

"I've been a good boy too," said Dave closing the gate on the small enclosure that held his ducks and geese he had just walked into.

"Well come over here then," I said with a purr, dropping my weight onto one hip, then bending forward to blow him a kiss, "and I'll stroke you too!"

"But..." he pointed at the animals before him.

I looked around the compound happy that there was no one within two miles of the farm and surprising me more than anyone else slowly and with as much sexual energy as I could muster pulled off my T-shirt and hanging it from a gate post, to stand there naked as a jaybird. I picked up a mug of tea to sip from it quite innocently, enjoying the warm spring sunshine on my skin like I never had before.

He dropped his galvanised steel feed bucket and stepped towards me leaping the stone wall in one movement.

He came across to my and scooped me up and into his arms.

"Barn..." I whispered to him. He looked at me a saw my grin.

"Russ, in your basket big fella," he said and the dog obediently trotted back into the farmhouse kitchen while Dave carried me to his large barn, kicking the door open stepping in and laying me down on a large pile of straw bales covered in green canvas.

Like my brunette outback lookalike heroine, I rolled onto my knees.

He dropped his shorts and knelt behind me and I felt his erection pushing against me, then in moments it was inside me and I was being fucked again, second time in less than ten hours and it was as fantastic as the night before, and just like the brunette I came, crying with the release.

Dave withdrew and turned me onto my back, lying across me and slipping back into me, it was just the loveliest feeling ever.

More than that, it was as romantic as it was sexy as Dave kissed me and stroked me, bringing me shuddering to my second orgasm of the day, crying out in tender agonies as he continued to pound in and out of me. I clung to him, desperate almost, desperate for another of those fantastic comes that he was such an expert in giving me and that I had never known before. Shit, how had I survived nearly eight years of marriage with that fucking Idiot when I could have been having sex like this.

I heard mooing from the byre next door and it brought me back to just where I was. I was in a barn, on a farm in the middle of nowhere. OK, I'd had sex in cars, a few of which hadn't been stolen, and occasionally in a park somewhere but while it had felt 'a little bit naughty' this was... this was just amazing and I came again in delight, gasping and crying out in such joy that Dave smiled a perfect smile at me and then came himself, which seemed to surprise him.

"Christ Sam, like I said last night, you are SOOOO fucking sexy!"

"Only when you are around Dave," I said feeling him give a last few soft thrusts just to finish off his, and my, pleasure. The cows mooed again, as if complimenting us on our exploits.

"Noisy bastards," he said kissing me, "It's only because they're waiting for the man that does the milking."

"Milking?" I said.

"Yeah," said Dave, "A bloke will be here with his machine to do them in..." he looked at his watch, "Any time now in fact."

"What?" I tried to push him up and off of me.

"I'm kidding!" he said, rolling off of me and to one side, you've got at least six minutes before he gets here..."

I bashed him softly,

"Better go and put my T-shirt back on then," I pursed my lips and sat up feeling faint prickles through the canvas sheeting.

"Damn," said Dave picking up his shorts to follow me back out into the farmyard. I walked that funny walk that we girls have when we are trying not to let what our lovers have taken such an effort to put inside us run out but made it back to where my T-shirt was and pulled it over me.

Dave caught me up and picked up his as yet untouched tea which was still hot enough to be drinkable. He downed it in one, and pulled on his shirt kissing my cheek and walking back to his un-fed geese and ducks,

"Oh what a beautiful mornin', Oh what a beautiful day!" he sang to the empty farmyard. I went back in giggling, sprinting the last bit to the downstairs bathroom before his efforts ran down my leg.

Griff the milk man arrived while I was washing my hands.

I showered and dressed and headed down to the kitchen just in time to greet Dave and Griff as that days paperwork was being signed and four cartons of milk were left on the counter top.

"Griff, this is my lovely friend Sam who's down for the weekend." Griff was a large strapping farm boy with very short dark hair and just the cheekiest grin.

"Mornin' Sam!" said Griff with a big smile, looking me up and down and probably guessing exactly what I was down for.

"Morning Griff!" I said, hoping that my cheeks didn't flush too much, "Tea?"

"That'll be lovely!" he said and I got him a mug from the cupboard pouring him one from the pot I'd made.

Dave cooked me the most splendid breakfast and only the bread that he toasted hadn't come from his farm. The bacon, the sausages, the huge eggs, the mushrooms and tomatoes, the black pudding, even the butter was made from the cream from his cows and it was without doubt one of the tastiest plates of food I had ever enjoyed. It was improved by Dave loading in the plates into his dishwasher so we could enjoy another mug of tea.

"Don't suppose you brought a swimming costume by any chance?" he asked.

I only had a bikini, bought for the hen holiday and matching the ones I bought for Izzy and Den, and my tiny swimsuit - and being the same size Izzy had borrowed them both for her honeymoon.

"Err... no, I didn't know I had to!" I squeaked.

"I totally forgot to mention it," he said slapping his forehead, "becaaaaause..." he pulled me up and across the kitchen and flung open another door that I hadn't taken much notice of the night before and that morning with a loud "Taaadaaaah!"

There was a kind of swimming pool, it was actually the local stream that ran through the centre of his garden that the previous owner had dug out and down and lined with large square stones and the ripples across the surface was enough indication that it was running water.

"Wow!" I said, "A pool! You never said!"

"No, sorry," he said with a smile pulling me further out into what was obviously the family garden and separate from all of the farming activity that was going on just the other side of the house, "What with all of the buzz and excitement I kinda forgot."

I turned to face him,

"You forgot a twenty foot swimming pool?"

"Thirty," he said with a grin pulling me into his arms and kissing me.

"Yeah," I said kissing him hard, "more like you wanted another excuse to get me naked ALL weekend!"

He looked surprised,

"What a damn fine idea!" he said, undoing the buttons holding up my short shorts.

I had to wiggle a little bit to get them down, but the slid down quite nicely to sit around my ankles and I had only to step out of them and did so. Next I pulled off my T-shirt and was stood bikini-like in my mid-blue string panties and matching balcony bra, he took my hand and walked me to a huge double bed sized sun lounger and suggested I lay down. I did so, and suddenly he was spraying a light sunscreen across me and I rolled onto my back to undo by bra and make the whole thing easier for him and I felt the delight as his strong fingers dug into my shoulders and carried out the most fantastic massage.

"There," he said, "no more than ten minutes on either side, you should be cooked to perfection."

I was so relaxed, but rolled to my back, slid down my panties and rolled back, flexing my buttocks,

"You missed a bit," I said and felt his strong fingers dig into my cheeks, getting that strange feeling of fresh air on my pussy and anus, then his oiled fingers were going other places and I felt him slip inside me, creeping up to my the back of my pussy being the first person ever to play with my G-spot and fuck didn't I know it. He brought me off twice before he opened a carton of orange juice so we could both chill out. I asked him what it was that he had been playing with and he told me going so far as to extend the discussion to my 'A-zone'.

"A-what?"

He pushed me back on to the lounger and proceeded to show me, and I rolled on to my back and felt him use his fingers and tongue as he had the night before; only this time I felt his fingers and tongue touch my anus! Fuck but that was hot, and as I lay back clutching the backs of my thighs to make his access to my genitalia easier just the thought of that wonderful lover pushing his tongue at my anus, then his finger rimming me and making my whole body tingle!

After my God-knows-how-many comes he slowed down to let me take a breath and pulled his finger gently out of my pussy and anus, and I came down slightly from the intense stimulation and caught my breath, as the final tremors rolled through me and I felt sooooo sexy. Although The Idiot Ex had often asked about "doin' me up the arse" it was never something I was interested in and no way was I ever going to let him do it.

But right now, here in his back garden by his pool and stark naked and following on from about a half a dozen orgasms I got up on to my hands and knees ready for him to take me again!

"Wow," I felt his knees go other side of mine and his prick slide into my sopping pussy and I groaned as he slid into me, pulling me back by my hips so I felt him pushing at the mouth of my cervix such was his size and my wetness.

He pounded into me and I prepared for my next come, and it didn't take too long for that to happen and I started a high-pitched warble interrupted by his thrusts.

"Oh Christ," I said, "Dave, fuck me! Fuck me! Harder! HARDER Oooooooooh yeah!" I felt my orgasm roll across me and I dropped my shoulders feeling him go even deeper. I gasped again, "Dave, come baby, come in me!"

He carried on thrusting harder, and that was all I needed and before I'd sneaked my hand down my past my swinging tits to play with my button I was coming hard as Dave pounded into me, my orgasm triggered his and I felt cock swell in me and the hard throbs as he came, his semen pumping easily into me.

I felt him slip from me and I lay flat feeling a trembling in my thighs rolling to make room for Dave to lay next to me and he did so.

"I must go and wash my hands honey," Dave said, "Can I get you anything?"

"I'd love a glass of wine," I said feeling just so amazingly relaxed and fulfilled.

Dave was back in moments with a couple of glasses and an open bottle and he laid next to me and handing me the glasses so he could fill them. He did and we clinked sipping gratefully in a lovely calming moment, and according to the clock it was barely eleven o'clock.

He sipped more wine then rolled onto his back, sighing loudly and happily putting an arm behind his head. I rolled to my side and lay an arm on his chest.

"Wow Dave," I said stroking my fingers through the hair on his chest, "that was just amazing, I've never had sex like that before!"

"You're most welcome honey," he said taking my hand and kissing it.

I tried to hide my giggles having never had so much romancing in my life before, and moved even closer enjoying the feel of Dave's hard and hot body next to mine and before I knew it I was asleep, woken only by Dave as the sun had moved around and we were both in danger of burning a bit.

I woke and Dave took my hand, pulling me up from the lounger, and I stood slightly dazed and could do nothing to save myself as he pushed me into his freshwater pool!

He jumped in next to me and landed with a huge splash and I threw hand loads of water at him in some kind of revenge, wholly pointless because we were surrounded by the stuff anyway. Dave pinned me to the poolside and kissed me, the fun forgotten replaced by the kind of passion I'd hardly known. In the warmth of the water our tongues lashed the Jesus out the other, and I clung to him, wrapping my arms around him then my thighs, using the effect of the water to take my weight. Just as I'd hoped, his penis was hardening as it was squeezed between us and in moments just a slight shift of his groin had him inside me again, pushing hard into me pinned to the pool wall as I was and it was the most wonderful fuck and I cried as he came into me.