The Infinite Bk. 03 Ch. 07

"Spirit senses? I wasn't going to go over that until spring. What's your interest?"

"It's part of my magic research. How do I improve it?"

"Unfortunately, it's not something you can practice here at the academy. The fastest way to train your spirit sense is to go through several near-death experiences. You become more sensitive to the presence of others, such as sensing an assassin sneaking up on you. Think of it as like mastering the feeling of being watched. The greatest warriors claimed to have felt it a few times in their lives, if only for a moment. It happens during the most intense battles against the worthiest foes, when you're absolutely pushed to the brink and walk the razor's edge."

She pulled her sword from her sheath with inhuman speed and put it to his throat, receiving no reaction from him. Rather than being too fast for him to draw his own blade to counter, she knew Noah instead resisted the instinct, choosing not to retaliate. He saw it coming and knew she wouldn't touch him.

"You stare them down, each of you waiting for the other to make their move. You both know that the next clash will decide who lives and who dies, and you honestly don't know how it will end. Your mind is clear of all but the moment, and you feel everything like never before. The slightest breeze is like a splash of freezing rain, with every hair swaying like a tree in a hurricane. You can feel every single minute detail in the handle of your sword, and a snowflake falling on your outstretched blade is as loud as thunder. At that moment, you feel fate unraveling like a play."

"So it's like a monk skill, hyperawareness brought on by the stress and fear of intense battle."

"Not necessarily. It can be honed with strict discipline. If you can learn to tune all other senses out, then your spirit sense will be brought to the forefront of your mind, but this is something that takes years to master."

"I think I understand. Thank you, ma'am."

"You're welcome. Just try to stay out of trouble for once."

"Believe me, I would love to. It's just that CERTAIN PEOPLE insist on fighting me, which leads to far-reaching consequences."

"Point taken, but you know what I mean. You could at least handle those consequences with honor and proper conduct."

"I'm simply playing the game my way, without straying from the rules."

After speaking to Valia, Noah headed for the mess hall for dinner, arriving there while Alexis and Sophia were still in the baths. Like before, numerous female cadets tried to invite him to sit with them. He was about to turn them down when an idea popped into his head, and he approached one of the groups of women.

"Good evening, ladies," he said as he took a seat with them.

"Cadet Noah, so glad you could join us!" one girl said eagerly.

"Unfortunately, I can't stay long. I just wanted to speak with you for a minute. I know what it is you're interested in, but as you can imagine, the academy isn't the place to talk about it. I invite you all to come to the Knight's Sheath the weekend after next. I'm sure you've heard of it or know someone who has."

"Isn't that place a brothel?"

"It is, but more importantly, it's a place off academy grounds, where I'll be giving a special lecture there on all the things you want to know. I happen to be friends with the owner. Think of it as a fitting place for the sultry subject material I'll be discussing. If there are any questions you've always wanted to ask but were too ashamed, such as about the human body, what happens between men and women, or how to achieve indescribable pleasure, I will answer them. I'll also be extending this invitation to the male cadets. Quite frankly, it's an education that all of you need and have been deprived of. It will be a speaking engagement, purely professional, like any other indoor class.

Think it over, and if you know anyone who would be interested in learning, bring them along, but be discreet, and it would be best to not wear your academy uniform. We wouldn't want the teachers finding out about this, would we?"

He got up to leave and was waved over by another group of women. He stopped by and gave them the same invitation, same with any men who approached, asking about the lemon trick. By the time Alexis arrived, his lecture was the subject of all the hushed gossip in the mess hall.

"Where's Sophia?" Noah asked as they both took their seats.

"Still in the baths. Several women wanted to hear the details about last night, and she finally broke down and started telling them. I didn't want to listen, so..."

"I'm sorry."

"Well, I suppose it was nice seeing her so happy for a change."

"Just wait. You'll make her even happier in the future."

Despite her glum mood just moments ago, a smile crossed her face. "While this isn't how I wanted you to find out about she and I, I can't deny that... it's really nice having someone I can talk to about this."

"They say the weight of a secret is cut in half every time you tell someone about it."

"It is certainly a relief."

"I'm glad. Anyway, after dinner, could you help me in my room with something?"

Alexis raised her eyebrows. "Going to your room after dinner? Do you have any idea how many rumors are swirling around you and me already? Until last night, everyone thought we were practically engaged."

"It's magic training. You're the only one I can trust with this."

"What will I be doing?"

"Making sure I don't die."

After dinner, Alexis followed Noah into his room. Before doing anything else, he went to his desk, made a large 'DO NOT DISTURB' sign, stuck it to the outside of his door, and then locked it.

"This is starting to get sketchy," said Alexis.

"For this, I need absolute focus. During the Red Revelries, I encountered warriors who could make themselves invisible, though the means and result were different from my own. They did it by slowing the flow of mana in their bodies, achieving a form of suspended animation in which light could not touch them, at the cost of all their bodily functions and senses being blocked off. Because their mana wasn't flowing at all, they didn't breathe, and their hearts didn't beat, but even the process of death was halted. It was like they were freezing themselves."

"And you want to try and mimic the technique?"

"In a way. When in this frozen state, they still had some awareness of what was happening around them thanks to their spiritual sense, probably their only means of awareness when all their physical senses were halted. When I use my invisibility, my spiritual sense is heightened, but I need to enhance it further. I'm thinking that if I use both techniques at once, I can fully grasp the sensation and become more aware of it.

I'm going to activate my magic and then meditate to try and slow my mana down as much as possible. I need you to monitor me to make sure I don't end up accidentally killing myself."

"You're talking about stopping your heart and breathing while invisible. Don't you think this is a little extreme?"

"The people I fought were able to use this technique while standing, meaning that it's possible to retain muscle tension. All I need you to do is make sure my posture doesn't break. If I blackout or worse, I'll slump over, at which point I'll need you to force-feed me this health potion and do whatever you can to wake me up. Just grab a book, sit with me for an hour, and keep checking to make sure I'm sitting upright."

"Fine, but if anything goes wrong, we stop immediately, deal?"

"Deal." Noah sat down on the floor in the full lotus position. He straightened his spine and made sure every part of his body was where it should be. "Memorize the height of my shoulders, and every couple of minutes, give a tap to make sure I'm still sitting correctly. Just do so gently. The whole point of this is to block out all physical sensation."

"So no pulling up a chair and using you as a footrest. Got it."

"Thank you. Wake me in an hour." Noah then cast his magic and vanished into thin air. This was not his first time meditating with his spells active, as he often used it to train his ability to produce mana and maintain his spells longer.

Despite seeing it already, it still made Alexis flinch in surprise. It was unnerving how his presence completely disappeared, how alone she felt despite him sitting on the floor just a few feet away. She tiptoed over to his desk and looked for a book to read while waiting. He was studying a wide range of materials. She selected a history book and sat down on the floor beside Noah. She began to read while checking on Noah every few minutes, but it was getting harder to stay focused as time passed. She kept reading the same lines over and over without any of the information sticking.

The smell of Noah's room was making her anxious. It stank of sex, something even a virgin like Alexis could instinctively recognize. After a whole day, the air was still thick with pheromones. She got up from the floor, feeling restless. She grabbed Noah's desk chair and brought it over, trying once more to read, but still, she couldn't relax. She considered sitting on the bed but feared the stains she might end up touching.

She was trying to forgive Noah and Sophia, trying to put it behind her and hold on to the only real friends she'd ever had, but being in this room, this crime scene, was twisting her stomach into knots. She glared at the empty spot where Noah was sitting, feeling her anger rise. She imagined all the things she wanted to say, all of the new and old feelings she wanted to yell. Finally, she had to speak.

"Noah, Noah," she said, tapping his invisible shoulder.

"What's wrong?" he asked as he canceled the magic.

She steadied herself to keep her temper from slipping. "I'm sorry, but I have to go. I can't..." She trailed off.

"You don't have to apologize. I'm the one that's sorry."

"What?"

"I made a mistake in asking you for this, putting my needs ahead of yours. It was insensitive of me to bring you here. I regretted it the moment I closed my eyes, but I wasn't sure if saying something would make it better or worse."

At that moment, Alexis forgot all the things she wanted to say. "You mean it?"

"I do. You don't have to be here. If you wish to leave, go right ahead. You don't owe me anything. I'm sorry I made you feel uncomfortable."

Alexis took a deep, shuddering breath and walked towards the door. "Let's pick this up again tomorrow night, my room." She then turned with a tired smile on her face, but it was a smile nonetheless. "Like you said, you don't have anyone else you can trust with this."

"Thank you. I appreciate it."

Once Alexis left, Noah decided to call it an early night. After his evening with Sophia, he had a heavy sleep debt. The following morning, he and all the other cadets were roused by the horn and got dressed. These morning runs were just getting colder and darker every day. But when they headed downstairs and entered the common room, they encountered someone they did not expect. Galvin had returned, so twisted by stress that he looked strung out like a junkie. Many of the cadets seeing him had to stifle a laugh.

"What are you looking at?!" he yelled at anyone who so much as glanced at him.

Several cadets grinned as Noah came down the stairs, eager to see the drama unfold. It was like the day he first arrived in the dorms, but the tables had turned. As soon as Galvin saw him, his eyes gained a deranged glint of bloodlust.

"You," he hissed.

"Oh, Galvin, welcome back. No hard feelings, I hope?"

The mad prince looked barely able to contain himself. Any second, he would draw his blade and make a screaming charge. "This isn't over. I'll get my revenge if it's the last thing I do!"

"Listen, Prince, your brother tried to pick a fight with me and he lost his room. You tried to pick a fight with me and lost your fiancée. There is a pattern here that you really need to acknowledge."

Alexis stood beside Noah, not saying anything, but sporting a smirk, something that Galvin noticed. "What are you grinning about, bitch? I bet you're just as big a whore as your cousin."

"Say whatever you want, Galvin. There are no words in the world that can make me feel anywhere as bad as I know you do right now."

"I'll make the three of you suffer for this!"

"Oh just stop already," Noah sighed. "Galvin, if you know what's good for you, you'll keep your mouth shut and your hands to yourself. God knows that everyone around you would appreciate it."

One of the cadets loudly snickered, and Galvin pointed to him. "You! I challenge!" He started pointing to other cadets, shouting the same order.

"Glad we had this talk," said Noah, walking by him.

Alexis and the other cadets followed suit, and outside, she gave him a nudge with her elbow. "This whole situation isn't quite ideal, but that look on his face was priceless. I suppose I should thank you for that."

"Normally, I try to avoid reveling in others' suffering, but in this case, it's my pleasure."

From there, the day progressed as usual, but with a couple notable changes. Noah no longer received dirty looks from the cadets. True, his reputation was still far from clean, but he had made his prowess known both in and outside battle. As for Sophia, she remained in high spirits. Her engagement to Galvin was practically nullified, and she no longer had to be by his side. She sat with Noah and Alexis with a warm smile on her face.

That evening, Noah joined Alexis in her room. It wasn't quite as large and luxurious as the room Noah took, but that was the difference between royalty and nobility. As befitting Alexis, she lived a Spartan lifestyle, even among cadets. It was clean and devoid of personal effects.

"Welcome."

"Thanks for having me."

There were two pillows on the floor, and they each sat down. "So, same rules as before?" she asked, holding a book in her hand.

"That's right. I just need you to make sure I don't pass out and die."

"Well if you pass out, I promise not to do anything too painful to wake you up."

"I suggest you throw something. Otherwise, I might attack you out of subconscious defense."

Alexis gave a soft chuckle, and Noah sensed there was more she wished to say. "Noah, can I ask you something?"

"Go ahead."

"Why are we friends?"

"What do you mean?" Noah had a feeling about what she meant, but it was clear she wanted to explain it.

"We fought one battle together and barely spoke, but ever since we came here, we've been stuck with each other. What I said in the snow, you have to admit that there was some truth to it. I don't approve of many things you do or believe, while it seems like you disagree with many of my own beliefs. Did we become friends simply because neither of us had anyone else to talk to? Besides, you know I'm of the... other persuasion, so if you're hoping I'll eventually change, I need you to accept that won't happen."

Noah took a deep breath, giving her time to say anything she still wished to say. "I told you that I am not the young man I look to be. I was alive long before you were born, and I'll be alive long after you die. In my travels, I have learned how many things which contradict each other can end up being true. In the grand scheme of things, human relationships, human lives, and human accomplishments are so fragile and insignificant and easily forgotten. But to those who live and breathe in the moment, they are so important. A meaningful bond, is that not something worth pursuing? Worth enjoying?

For me, everything is temporary. Nothing is 'forever,' just 'for now,' and the only way I can live is to keep reminding myself that those temporary things do matter. Then I meet someone like you, someone who is at least mildly interesting, and suddenly it doesn't take so much effort to remind myself to care. I'm not waiting for you to change who you are and develop feelings for me. Like I said, you would be boring if you were anyone but yourself.

I choose to be your friend because you're strong, you're smart, you're wonderfully competent, and I feel yours is a destiny of promise, a destiny I wish to see fulfilled. Now that's why I'm your friend, but as for why you're my friend, only you would know that. I could probably make a few guesses, but I feel that making assumptions about your emotions and personality would piss you off rather than provide insight. Right?"

Alexis laughed, one that was genuine and filled with relief. "You're right, thank you."

"You're welcome. Now, I'll see you in an hour." Noah assumed the meditative position and cast his magic, vanishing into thin air.

He closed his eyes, forcing all thoughts and distractions out of his mind and focusing only on the flow of his mana, shrouding him like invisible flames. He imagined it moving across his body in a cyclical motion, applying the symmetry and uniformity of a spiral. The churning mantle began to settle, the chaos submitting to the order of the current. Soon enough, his mana had calmed, but that wasn't enough; he needed it to grind to a halt. He started gingerly slowing the current while keeping his mana in order, but he'd feel it wriggle out of his control and scatter. He had to use his willpower to hold it together, like he was spinning clay, but rather than slowing the spin, he just felt his grip weakening.

"Noah!" Alexis shouted.

Feeling her hand on his shoulder, Noah bolted awake and fell on his back. His heart was racing, and he felt like he had just bungee-jumped. "Whew, fuck," he said as he canceled the magic. "Did I break my posture?"

"No, you were like a statue. It's been an hour."

"Already? I was sure I had just gotten started."

"I kept calling you, but you wouldn't wake up."

"Huh, sorry about that. Did anything happen while I was out?"

"No, nothing I could see."

"Well, I suppose that's a good thing."

"I think it would be best for you to call it a night."

"You're probably right." He got up and stretched. "Thanks for this. Would you be willing to help me another time?"

"Just don't make it an everyday thing. That was a little too close for comfort."

"I won't."

He left her room and headed for his, unaware of the disappointed cadets in their rooms who had been expecting to hear moans.

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Noah made his weekly pilgrimage to the Knight's Sheath when Sunday arrived. He enjoyed his usual hardcore romp with Bella, burning through the morning hours, and then had a meeting with Cyrilo.

"You want to teach the cadets how to have sex?" She looked at him in disbelief, or at least, he thought it was disbelief. When she was in her cat form, it was hard to tell.

"More like... I want to teach them how to have sex properly. I just want to give a lecture here a week from now, a mix of bedroom and health advice."

Sitting on the nearby couch, Daniel was laughing so hard that his ribs hurt.

"This is insane. You know that, don't you?" Cyrilo asked.

"A guy I know thinks a man gets a woman pregnant by peeing on her. Another claimed that when a woman can't get pregnant, it's because there are sea serpents in her womb. I overheard a girl saying that a man's penis is like a bee stinger, and sex involves us stabbing women in the belly button. Normally, it's not my prerogative to get involved in stuff like this, but good god, hopefully these people die on the battlefield before they have to chance to reproduce."

"Madam Cyrilo, where Noah and I come from, this kind of stuff is taught to all adolescents in school. I mean, unless you live in the south. They don't actually teach us how to fuck; they just make sure we know how our bodies work."

"Well I want to do both. A lot of these guys don't even know what foreplay is. They think that the faster a man cums, the better at sex he is. Do you really want to preserve that mindset?"