The Japanese Way Pt. 01

"It's no bother," she said. I assumed she was going to take my food away and replace it with something I could actually eat. But instead, she continued eating her own meal.

Likewise, Akane made no effort to include me either and focused on devouring her own noodles. It was only when she'd almost finished that she spoke to me. "You know, Mushi. We broke an important Japanese custom tonight by including you in this meal."

Saori looked on with a raised eyebrow and clearly seemed intrigued.

"Foreigners usually wait to eat after their hosts here," Akane continued. "My mother made a real effort to include you tonight and broke that tradition."

"I didn't realise," I said. "Thank you so much, ma'am." I gave Saori a little bow with my head.

"Why are you thanking me?" she said. Her face was completely emotionless. "You didn't eat anything."

"Umm, I know, sorry. I just mean for breaking the tradition."

Saori clattered her chopsticks onto the table. She then walked over to the kitchen and came back with a plate and spoon. While I watched, she lifted her bowl above the plate and scraped out the remainder of her noodles, stopping at times to remove a fried shrimp. She carelessly dropped the bowl which made me jump as it hit the table. Next, she walked over to Akane and repeated the process with her bowl. While she was scooping Akane's leftover noodles onto the plate, the young girl snatched at any shrimps with her chopsticks and gobbled them down. Satisfied, Saori slid the plate of noodles in front of me, and removed my untouched bowl. "There you are, Mushi. Vegetarian for you," she said. "And you eat after us, as is tradition." She then returned to her seat and watched me intently.

I looked down at the plate of noodles and didn't know what to do. She'd actually given me both of their leftovers. I'd seen them put the chopsticks into their mouths and double-dip back into their bowls time and time again. This wasn't what my first Japanese food experience was supposed to be like. I'd spent hours researching online whether this was an ideal country for vegetarians, and I'd been assured it was fine. There was plenty of veggie noodle and sushi bars around Tokyo from what I learned, yet my first meal was going to be some leftover noodles which no doubt still tasted of shrimp?

I was offended that Saori actually thought it was acceptable to treat me in this way. I was a guest in her home, and she thought she could just serve me up leftover food. I looked over at her stern face, unsure how to speak my mind. But then, I noticed in the kitchen behind her, that my first bowl of food was on the counter and still steaming. That was the meal she had prepared for me, not the disgrace that was currently waiting to be eaten. Saori had actually taken the time to prepare me a meal, and she'd broken the custom about foreigners eating second. It had been my choice not to eat it and I must have offended her and hurt her feelings. I thought back over everything I had said. I can't use chopsticks, could I have a fork, I don't like shrimp. My God, I was so ungrateful, right from the start! No wonder she was extremely annoyed.

I figured the best thing to do was to eat the noodles. What else could I do really? I'd already refused one meal, and was about to refuse another. This was my first bloody day in their house, and I was about to throw their hospitality straight back in their faces. You weren't raised to be this ungrateful, Molly, I thought to myself. Especially when Akane had spent all afternoon teaching me the correct greetings and how to embrace the Japanese way. Was I embracing the Japanese way by refusing to eat the food Saori had prepared for me? Not at all.

I picked up the chopsticks and struggled to hold them in my clumsy fingers. I just couldn't get them into the right angle that the two women seemed to have mastered so easily. I tried just stabbing one chopstick in and scooping out a noodle or two, but again, that didn't work.

Saori sighed from across the table. "Just use your hands," she said. "You eat animal food, you may as well eat like animal." She must have tired of my performance as she got up and left the table.

"It's okay," Akane said. "Just eat with your fingers. I don't mind. Look." She reached over and stuck her fingers straight into my noodles and picked up a bunch. I was expecting her to shove them in her mouth, but instead she moved her hand towards me. I instinctively pulled away.

"No, what are you doing?" I looked at her fingers and thought about everything she had been doing earlier. She'd taken her stinking socks off with those fingers! Now she'd just shoved them in my food and expected me to eat straight from her hand.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"It's unhygienic," I whined, while dodging another of her attempts.

"You think I am dirty?" Her face appeared shocked.

"No, not at all. It's just...hands in food. I don't like it."

"But this is a big thing in Japan. This is how the groom feeds the bride on their wedding day." I could tell by her face that she was upset. "Hand-feeding is considered romantic and affectionate here. You think we are a dirty people?"

"Of course not, I have so much respect for Japanese people, Akane-san! You know this already."

Her hand moved back towards my face. I could see the sticky noodle-sauce cling to her fingers. "Then open up and eat your meal."

I kept my lips firmly closed in a grimace right up until Akane pushed the noodles into my reluctant mouth. And I actually let her, she rubbed them against my mouth and chin, then pushed them into my mouth one by one with her fingers. All the while, I sat there and let it happen, despite the shrimp taste that made my stomach turn. For the final noodle, she looked me in the eyes while her finger went right into my mouth. I could actually feel it on my tongue. "My finger is covered in sauce," she said, and I knew what she was getting at. I closed my lips around her finger and sucked the fishy sauce from it.

I thought that would be the end of it, but while keeping eye contact with me, Akane dumped her hand back into the noodles and picked up another pile. When she moved them towards my mouth again, I willingly held it open and allowed her to shove them straight in. She continued to hand-feed me from the bowl of leftover noodles until they were all gone. After I licked the last of the sauce from her fingers, she smiled at me and dropped her head to my shoulder.

"Did you enjoy that, Mushi?" she asked. "I did."

I licked a dollop of sauce from my lips and had the urge to spit out the awful flavour. "It was...different."

She sat up and looked at me. "Intimate is the word in English, right?"

"Uh, I guess..." It was certainly intimate, in a completely weird way. It wasn't exactly the experience I was intending to share with any lover, that was for sure.

"I think it is a sign we are going to be great friends, Mushi." She wrapped her skinny arms around me and squeezed my broad shoulders as best she could. "We will be close."

I actually melted under her embrace. She could be so gentle at times, which was a bizarre thought, considering moments earlier she'd been stuffing leftover shrimp noodles into my reluctant mouth. Now, I was feeling guilty that she'd somehow viewed it as kindness and I was ungrateful?

We both jumped from our hug when we heard the sound of the front door slamming shut.

"That's probably Matsuri-chan," Akane said with a grin. She waved her fingers at me in an arrogantly dismissive way. "I'll clean up here. Why don't you go and show her what you've learned?"

"Good idea," I said, actually excited to get away from the awkwardness of the dinner table, but also eager to impress Akane's little sister. After the successful turnaround in Saori's hostility earlier, I was looking forward to actually seeing what Matsuri was like when her face wasn't buried in her phone. Surely greeting her in the appropriate way for a foreigner would please her? Saori had seemed pretty happy with me up until the dinner fiasco when she'd wasted her time preparing me a meal I was never going to eat.

I rushed into the hallway and saw that Matsuri was leaning against the wall and about to remove one of her Converse sneakers. While she was struggling with the laces, which appeared to be stuck in a knot, I dropped to my hands and knees next to her, and placed my forehead to the cold, hard floor in a perfect reproduction of the dogeza.

There was silence, though she must have noticed me, as her foot returned to the hallway rug, still encased in its Converse. She said something in Japanese, then laughed as she must have remembered that I couldn't understand. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"Kon'nichiwa, Matsuri-san," I said into the floor.

"Umm, thank you, Molly," she said. "That's nice of you."

"Please, call me Mushi."

I heard Matsuri snort, then she let out a little giggle. "Really, Mushi? You want to be known as Mushi while in Japan?"

"Yes, please," I said.

There was a ding sound, and I saw in the corner of my eye that Matsuri was looking at her phone. She said something to herself in Japanese, I couldn't understand what, but I did recognise Akane's name amongst the unfamiliar words. Matsuri then shrugged and rolled her eyes, then suddenly, one of her Converse sneakers disappeared from my view and I felt the sole press against the back of my head. She was less careful than her sister and mother, and my forehead actually bumped against the floor, which kind of hurt.

We remained that way for a few minutes. I could hear her doing something on her phone, all the while I stayed in the same dogeza position while she kept her foot on my head. Eventually, I saw her lift her shoe again and continue fiddling with the laces, however, she still hadn't given me permission to rise. I remembered back to Saori and how she'd enjoyed me putting her sandal back on, and I saw an opportunity to be dismissed from the tiring bow.

"Matsuri-san," I said while slightly raising my head. "Would you like me to help you remove your shoes?"

There was silence once again, then I felt her shoe on the back of my head once more. She pushed my forehead to the floor and twisted the sole atop my scalp. "Keep your head down until you're told otherwise, Mushi," she said. "But, yes, I would like that." She took her shoe away and I could hear her walking towards the staircase. "Come."

I raised to my knees, happy to be out of that awkward position, and shuffled towards her. She'd taken a seat on the bottom step of the staircase, with both of her Converse feet on the flat of the hallway floor. She was still wearing the same loose dress as earlier, and her hair hung messily over her shoulders. She was leaning down and watching me with amusement in a completely relaxed manner, her elbows resting on bended knees.

As I reached her, Matsuri sat back and leaned on the higher steps. She lifted a shoe towards me, then glanced between its laces and my eyes, before giving me an encouraging nod. The laces were certainly trapped in a knot, and it took me a while to pick them apart with my fingernails. After much effort, they were loosened and I was able to ease the sneaker from her ankle-socked foot, which brought forth a sigh from her. I noticed she wore an anklet made from string, which hadn't been obvious at the airport. I was about to put the shoe down when my nose wrinkled at a pungent scent. There was a strong, cheesy odour, but I wasn't sure whether it was coming from her shoe or sock. The Converse was beaten up and I could make out the impression of her foot inside. I was about to give it a sniff and check whether it was in fact the shoe that stank, though, thankfully I considered how weird that would be before proceeding.

I placed the shoe down, and was about to lift her other foot when she spoke. "Take the sock off too," she said, while watching me with a mischievous smirk. "I always wear my house slippers barefoot."

I screwed my face in disgust. I'd offered to remove her shoes, not her socks, but she looked pleased with me, so I didn't want to ruin the moment. I simultaneously pulled at the toes and ankle area, which allowed me to easily peel the damp sock from her foot. They appeared to be soaked with sweat, and there was an increase in the cheesy stench. Once her toes were out, she wiggled them happily, seeming to enjoy their freedom in the fresh air. As with her mother and sister, Matsuri too didn't wear nail polish. I stuffed the sock into the shoe and continued the same performance with the other foot. Matsuri watched in silence throughout. It was only once both feet were bare that she pointed to a shoe rack near the door. "Put them in genkan," she paused, "or you say, what is it, shoe place? Put them there, and bring me my school bag."

I followed her instruction and retrieved the bag that was next to the door. She unzipped it, and took out a pair of strange shoes. They were mostly white but were red on the tip. "These are uwabaki," she said. "Can you say that?"

"Uwabaki," I repeated.

"Do you know what this is?"

"No," I said. "I don't know what that means."

"They're my school slippers. I wear them indoors in school all day, but, they're so comfortable that I like to wear them at home too. I have had this pair for years."

She handed them to me and raised her foot. I was just sliding the first on her foot, when I noticed movement down the hallway.

Akane took a few steps towards us, followed by her mother. Saori said something in Japanese and Matsuri answered in their mother tongue. What followed was a whole conversation between the three of them while I finished up putting Matsuri's slippers on for her. I felt like a servant within their house, not worthy of understanding their discussion. I heard my name mentioned a couple of times, but I was afraid to say anything in case they thought it rude.

"Mushi," Akane finally said, inviting me to join in. "Was it really your idea to remove Matsuri-chan's shoes?"

I could sense the happiness in her tone, so with pride, I said, "Yes, Akane-san, it was my idea."

Akane walked over and patted my head. "How did you know?"

I looked up at her confused. "How did I know what?"

"That this is another custom expected of foreigners."

"Really?" I was surprised, but also, somewhat proud that I'd actually figured this one out all on my own. Perhaps I was actually settling in and understanding the Japanese way without Akane's guidance. But she couldn't be serious? I just couldn't picture foreigners coming over to Japan and helping them take off their shoes and put on their slippers. This was something a servant would do, not a guest. "Are you teasing me?"

Saori walked up with her arms crossed. "No, Akane-chan is telling you the truth." She glanced at her two daughters with a slight smile, then she turned back to me and the seriousness returned to her face. "Every time we've had a guest here, they've always helped us with our shoes. It's a sign of respect and gratitude for our hospitality."

I looked at the floor and took a moment to process exactly what was being said. It didn't make a lot of sense. If it happened before, then why did Matsuri seem so surprised when I offered in the first place? "So, why did—"

Before I could finish, Akane interrupted with, "This is what I was going to teach you next. But, you're so, so...what's the word?"

"Intuitive," said Saori.

"Yes, you're so intuitive, Mushi, that you learned it all on your own. You must know, somewhere, deep in your heart, the correct way for a foreigner to behave in a Japanese household." Akane smiled at me and showed me her braces.

"Indeed," Saori said. "I am quite impressed, Mushi."

"Umm, thanks," I said. I felt my cheeks redden at all of the compliments.

Matsuri looked at her mother. "Can she do this every time I come home then?"

"Of course, she can," Saori said, before I had a chance to answer. "Isn't that right, Mushi?"

"Umm, I suppose." It felt like the decision had been taken away from me.

"This is so awesome," Matsuri said. She smirked at me, before rising to her feet and making her way up the stairs to her room.

"I'm so proud of you," Akane said, while wrapping her arms around me as I knelt there before her. "I can't believe how quickly you're settling in, Mushi. You're the best exchange ever. I'm so glad we did this!"