The Journal of a Connecticut Yankee Ch. 07

"Welcome to the Covet Corner Hotel! Are you checking in?"

Catchy name...

Kneeling down I put a hand on her shoulder and asked with what was hopefully a calm voice,

"Little girl, a very bad man is trying to horribly murder me... please tell me there's a back door to this place?"

Paling at my bluntness, she turned and pointed at an empty check in desk saying, "Umm... You should go talk to Gramps."

Guess this scenario wasn't covered in her orientation class.

Getting up, I breezed over to the desk, finding an older man stepping out from the back to greet me.

"Names Gramps, son. Now what's all this about someone trying to kill you? You don't have to worry about being harmed, you're safe here."

"Gramps, I'm Donnie and yeah I kinda do. I got the Maou's hubby, El Incubus Primus on my ass, wanting to dice me up into sashimi. Please tell me you have another way out besides the way I came in?"

The ground trembled slightly around us as a faint roar echoed throughout the lobby.

"What in the hell did you say to get him that riled up?" Demanded the old-timer.

Crossing together my arms and shifting my eyes up in thought, I frowned saying, "I... uhhh... may have called his life choices into question... and uh, maybe his intelligence as well..."

Gramps peered at me while pressing his lips together tightly. After a few moments, he sighed and said, "Seems like you need to work on your people skills. Look, it doesn't work like that here, son. If you go back out that door, you'll just end up where you started."

"Well that don't work for me Gramps, cuz that way leads to a very painful death. Any other suggestions?" I pressed as my spidey sense warned of eminent impending doom.

"If you calm down, keep your head on straight and listen, I do have a-"

Another tremor shook the lobby, sending down debris and causing everyone present to gasp and cry out. The crystal chandelier above swung violently as the roar seemed louder this time.

Hearing a ding, I looked over to my left to see a modern-day elevator opening up. Now that might actually just get me further way from that homicidal nut job, I thought to myself.

Fuck it, I'm going for it!

"Thanks Gramps, you've been a big help!" I said while making a run for the closing doors.

"Wait! You can't just go running-" His shouts were cut off by the doors sealing shut.

Its a fucking hotel, guy. What's the worst that could happen? I end up on the laundry floor?

According to the controls on the thing, the hotel had... over 100 different floors?! Well whatever, I thought as I pushed at random button. I felt the car rise rapidly until it suddenly slowed and dinged as the doors opened.

A blast of hot air hit me as a sandy desert loomed past the opening. How in the hell... Nope, sorry deserts aren't my thing. There was an explosion of sand as a Sandworm surfaced suddenly nearby. It's mouth opened and an attractive pink skinned woman stared at me from its maw as I looked at her in disbelief.

"Would you like a ride?" She asked shyly as clear mucous dripped from her body.

"Uh, no thanks," I replied, hitting another random button as the doors shut and once again I was hauled upwards.

This time it opened up to a rainforest. It wasn't too bad except when a swarm of vamp mosquito's decided they wanted me for lunch.

And by me, I mean my dick...

Jumping back inside the car, I jabbed rapidly at a button as the doors slowly closed. Multiple loud crashes on the other side told me the blood sucking gals wouldn't be flying again anytime soon.

The traveling car lurched to a stop and streams of water started to gush through the crack of the double doors.

Oh shit, I had a bad feeling about this-

The doors pulled open as a wall of water crashed into the compartment. I didn't have enough time to get a good gasp of breath as I was hurled out to an underwater coral reef. Stunned, I floated for a moment as a few aquatic Mamono looked on in horror. I spotted some making their way towards me but it would be too late. My burning lungs told me I had to hurry my ass up and do something fast or die. Pulling myself back inside, I smashed at the controls and was rewarded by the doors closing. Thankfully the water started to drain as white stars flashed before my eyes giving me the best light show of my life.

Gasping lungfuls of air, I choked and coughed as I laid on the tiled floor. There was no way I could keep doing this, I almost died. Whatever this place and/ or elevator was, it was deadly to someone who had no idea how to use it. I think maybe that's what Gramps was trying to warn me about.

The doors opened again but instead of a deadly landscape or horny critters, an old man with a soured expression met my eyes.

"Sup, Gramps."

"Don't you 'Sup Gramps' me," He growled as he pulled me up, "You've been running a muck around my hotel, scaring my guests and almost getting yourself killed!"

"Almost only counts with horse shoes and hand grenades." I joked as he dragged me out into the lobby.

"Not by my count," Gramps grumbled as he hauled me over to the large wooden front door, "I sent your friend off on a wild goose chase to one of our best spa. That should give you some time to make yourself scare as well as maybe calm him down enough to where he won't kill you. Though I don't make any promises on the last one!"

"Wow really? You rock, Gramps! How can I ever repay you?" I asked with a smile.

Opening the door, the old-timer glared hard at me and said, "Never come back here again and I'll call it even."

He shoved me though the doorway.

••••••••••••••••••

Later that evening, I was summoned for a little chat with Maou ma.

"Rumor around the castle is that you and my husband were involved in an altercation with each other that spread even to the Covet Corner Hotel..." The Maou said conversationally as she sat at her desk.

I grimaced at memory but shouldn't have been surprised that she found out. At least her hubby now probably had better cuticles then she did. I felt like I deserved at least a 'thank you' for that one.

"You know there was a slight... misunderstanding... it's all good now," I said lying my pants off to the Demon Lord herself.

She made some noncommittal noise as she continued writing in that book of hers. I was a little curious about what she was writing. Maybe doing some memoirs? Maybe she got a book deal? Hell, with all the shit I've been though, I need to get me one of those. Sell out and cash in. Get a nice little ranch or something out in the country with Romie. Have them make a shitty movie out of it that will have all the nerds and movie critics getting their panties in a bind...

As I toured around the room, a metallic cup sitting on a nearby table caught my eye. Walking over to it, I picked up the cup... no I guess you could call it a goblet to examine. The thing had a slender neck with a Lamia coiling around it, her eyes staring back seductively at me. The base of it was quite broad with incredibly detailed, tiny figures of men, women and Mamono all getting it on in a wild orgy.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised that the Maou's dinnerware was also lewd as fuck.

"What are you doing with that?!" She suddenly shouted at me.

Looking over I saw that she had risen from her desk and had a look of almost panic on her face.

"What? I'm just looking at your cup!" I exclaimed back, "It's not like I'm not gonna break it."

She stared at me for a moment, seemingly forcing herself to calm down. After a few minutes she said in a low, dangerous voice, "Put it back where you found it and never touch it again."

"Jesus fine, I won't touch your sippy cup." I mumbled angrily to myself.

"You've been in contact with her again." The Maou stated suddenly as she watched as I carefully put back down her porn chalice.

I didn't need to know who "her" was when it came to the Maou and the topic of her BFF.

"Yeah, she hit me up in a dream again last night." I said calmly as I could, resuming my walk around.

"Oh?" She said with a raised eyebrow, "Did anything... untoward happen?"

The Maou herself dancing around the topic of sexual assault, now that's a first.

"No," I frowned and shrugged, "We just talked."

"About?"

"She... offered me something... and I turned her down."

"I see," The Maou said slowly, "Well it's not to be unexpected. One of my Demons did steal away a couple young Hero trainees yesterday, I'm sure that did not sit well with her."

Was that the real reason why? Or did she actually have feelings for me? I had to wonder if all this wasn't some kind of fucked up daytime soap opera battle between her and the Maou?

"Exactly how young?" I asked with some trepidation, trying to distract myself from the questions that I would never have the answers to.

"The boy is 15 and the girl, 16. Barely ripened fruit but it seems Acacia couldn't wait anymore. In fact, she maybe taking their virginities as we speak."

TMI.

"I guess age of consent is a moot point for you guys." I remarked pointedly.

"Pleasure knows no age, nor requires consent, Donnie." She purred seductively in return.

"Whatever." I replied giving her a dirty look, "Why did you want to see me?"

"I have a... request of you." She said almost painfully.

Huh, Maou ma hitting me up with a 'can you do me a favor,' this had to be good.

"I have learned of an event, far into the future. One that will cause the deaths of many people, both Human and Mamono. " The Maou stated.

"And how do you know all this?" I asked suspiciously.

"How I know is not what's important," She said evasively, "What is that we prevent the event from occurring."

"Oh it's "we" now? When did I sign up to be on Team Maou?" I asked sarcastically.

She suddenly appeared right in front of me and grabbed my throat, her eyes turning blood-red. The demonic pressure she radiated around us was crushingly intense as she lifted me up on my tiptoes, she growled, "Is it that you think of nothing but insults in your day? I have continually suffered your disrespectful attitude, your snubs and contempt in good humor, because your are my granddaughter's husband but no more.

I could barely breathe as I gripped her wrists trying to pry her hands off my throat. As the Demon Lord, her strength was immeasurable, I knew that I didn't have a snowball's chance in hell and she could very easily snap my neck if she wanted.

"What I speak of concerns lives, real lives! Or do you see all of this as nothing but a jest?"

"Erzk! Nnerrro!" I managed to struggle out as she tightened her hold my windpipe.

Releasing me, I fell back coughing and gasping as she walked back to writing on the ever-present book on her desk while mumbling to herself,

"We are extremely fortunate that the event takes place almost exactly in your current alternative time space, albeit on the other side of the country. I will have to have her address that... perhaps move you... Yes and she will need to be in that area as well to take it from you. Curses that's not enough, though! Still too many possibilities against them. The other, she will need more help before hand. Perhaps Dam's sword? Oh well, he never uses the thing anyway, he just walks around with it, making himself feel important. There that should do it..."

Placing a hand on my throat, I felt for any signs of harm. Surprisingly enough there was nothing but for the first time, I feared her. She had called me out and I lost.

Badly.

At the time, I didn't understand what she was going on about. It was almost like she was verbally setting up pieces on a chess board. Little did I know how right my musings were.

"Would you have killed me?" I said as the last flame of defiance flickered in me.

"You needed a reality check. To know that life and death past your own is no less important, no less meaningful." She said simply, closing the book and walking back over to me. I looked to her with a glare. Fuck this bitch! I saved more lives than she could ever know. Who was she to spout out that bullshit? But was she going to finish the job, I wondered absently.

Sighing, she grabbed me by the arm and said.

"Will you help me save lives?"

"Do I have a choice?" I asked, slightly wondering if the question would set her off again.

"We all have choices, Donnie. It's what we do with those choices that define us." She said calmly, all trace of her rage gone.

"...What do you need me to do" I asked after a few moments.

"For now, nothing. I will need the night to prepare. We can't wait until the gateway is built as it would both take too long and be in the wrong space-time. Therefore I will need to send your consciousness to your other body back on Earth."

"Wait, what do you mean by that?" I asked, concerned.

"As I told you before, you are a sliver between our two worlds. In order for this to work, I will need to "push" you back to Earth."

"Um, okay, but are you going to send Romie with me too?"

"No, I would only be able to send you, unfortunately. Dimensional sending is one of the most difficult and energy intensive magic's one can evoke." She said, staring past me to her porn chalice.

"So how do I get back then?"

It was ironic, what I dreamed of for so long, a way back home was now something I didn't want. At least not without Romie by my side.

"By the time you arrive, you should encounter a future version of me. The time space you currently occupy on Earth is slightly more advanced than what would be when the gateway would open. The "future" me will be able to "push" you back here."

I shook my head, confused as hell to what she was saying.

I flinched as she laid a hand on my shoulder. "I... I'm sorry Donnie. I know you have no reason to trust me and sadly I have nothing to say or offer to change that save for one thing. In all that you know of me, of what you've heard, the rumor and the lies, tell me. Have I ever killed before?"

I shook my head, no.

"Above all else I cherish life, Donnie. I cherish my families happiness as well. I promise, you will be reunited with Romie."

I eventually agreed to her request. It was the second most foolish mistake I had ever made in my life...

•••••••••••••••••

April 23rd...

We were gathered in an empty throne room as the Maou looked over to Romie and said,

"Now child, this will seem frightening with what I am about to do. But fear not, he will experience no pain."

Releasing her grip on me, my Cheshire kissed me deeply before I walked up to stand before the Demon Lord herself.

"Can I get that part in writing?" I mumbled apprehensively as she gripped my shoulders with her hands. Leathery wings spread out from behind and wrapped around me so that I could see nothing but her as she looked me straight in the eye and said,

"I need you to wake up."

The fuck?

"I am awake?" I said to her, confused.

"Wake up!" She said again only louder, shaking me a bit as her grasp tightened. I'll admit I felt a kind of pressure building up around us that made me want to pop my ears. But whatever the Maou was doing, obviously wasn't working.

"I am!" I angrily yelled back at her, seriously what was her problem?

"Damn it. Well, Plan B it is then." She said under her breath as she brought up her palm up and said quietly to me,

"Wake the fuck up, Donnie." Smacking me hard in the forehead with it, I found myself falling backwards, but slowly as if I were going through molasses. Time itself slowed to a crawl as I looked back and saw Romie's face. She was yelling something at me but I couldn't figure out what. It was then everything faded to black.

•••••••••••••••••••••

I awoke, finding myself floating in a sea of stars once more. Below me laid a blue and green world... their world.

"Space... the final frontier..." said a familiar voice.

I looked over to see Patrick Steward in his signature red and black Star Fleet uniform, floating besides me.

What the...?

He offered me a smile and wave before a flash of light overtook him. From that, another familiar voice spoke.

"Oh everybody loves Picard," The light pouted before it became another recognizable figure.

"Wait, you're ..."

"Yes, yes it's me." He said with a smug smile. "I doubt you'll remember this, but I wanted to finally meet you before sending you back on your way. Now that I have, I must say I'm not very impressed. I honestly thought having you on this planet would cause much more chaos, such a shame, really. As to why the other one down there has taken an interest in you is beyond me and this coming from an omnipotent being."

I stared at him in absolute shock as he talked. There was no possible way this was happening. He rolled his eyes at me in disgust at my disbelief and said,

"Well this is boring, but let me offer you a bit of advice if you ever do end up remembering our little rendezvous..."

He snapped his fingers and a flash of light enveloped him again as he became a 1980's era Bill Murray. Floating over, he placed a hand on my chest and whispered into my ear, "...They'll never believe you."

With a rough push, I found myself once again traveling through a tunnel made of stars.