The Karma Credit Plan

"...I just feel that you still love me. Our separation was just a dreadful mistake..."

I decided that I didn't really need to know what went on in their relationship. I was just glad that now he had to take her shit instead of me.

"...What do you think?" she asked, trying to smile seductively.

She seemed to have finished her rehearsed speech and expected some kind of reaction. What did I think? Good question. Especially as I'd only heard about ten percent of what she said.

Luckily, Christine continued. "Philipp was just a mistake. I'm not happy with him. He's not as ambitious as I hoped he would be."

Wow, that was bold. She had just openly said that her priorities were unchanged. She hadn't learned anything from our disaster. The only difference was that now she thought of me as more of a success than old Philipp.

"In truth, he is weak. I try to toughen him up all the time. Just to help him, you know? I have to deliberately torment him a bit to get a reaction from him. Any kind of reaction. Still, the damn wimp just folds all the time."

She really thought that would make me want to come back to her? Was she that deluded? I was just glad that we were talking in my kitchen door, well away from the patrons.

"I even started to dominate him when we have sex. Which isn't too often, by the way," she giggled conspiratorially. I definitely didn't want to know details about her sex life, but she never bothered to ask. "He hates it, but for some reason he just takes it. It is so damn frustrating. You, on the other hand, you've changed so much. You have this successful restaurant, you drive that nice car, you live in that dream house. You are now the man I need, the man I always thought you could be."

She remained silent for a few seconds, obviously waiting for some kind of reaction. I knew she wouldn't understand a word I said, I knew now that she never had, but I felt that it would be impolite to remain silent.

"I'm sure that you'll find someone to suit your needs. You are a... well, you have..." Damn. I needed to find something nice to say about her. "You are an interesting and complex person. I'm sure that some men will find you attractive." Yeah, hardcore masochists.

"You know, this Juliette person, I don't trust her," she said, and managed to sound as if she was deeply concerned about my wellbeing.

I couldn't take it anymore and had to laugh out loud.

"Don't worry, I think I can handle her."

"I've even told Philipp that he is my second choice," she continued as if she hadn't heard me. "He'll be history as soon as I get my dream man and he knows it."

Wow, that was cruel, even by her standard.

"How did he take it?"

"What?"

"Never mind." She didn't even think about how the husband she'd ditched me for would feel about this? Had I really been married to this person? Had I been that blind back then or had she changed that much?

"Simon, if you need any help in any way, I'm here."

Christine already knew that men are dumb. As a man, I could safely pretend to not understand what she was hinting at.

"That's nice, but we're out of the weeds anyway. I'm sure that Boris will be back soon." As expected, she obviously didn't know what I was talking about. I enlightened her. "Christine, I have to work now."

"Okay, please think about my offer." Yeah, right, and give myself nightmares. No, I had far more pleasant things to think about now.

I started to sharpen my knives while staring at her in a hopefully creepy way until she got the point that our conversation was over. Of course, Julie found all of this hilarious when I told her about it later. I love how that woman laughs!

I came home a few months later to a helplessly giggling Julie. I concluded that she needed to tell me something.

"I met Philipp today," she blurted out, as always absolutely unable to keep something to herself.

"Philipp? As in Christine's Philipp?" I had no idea that they even knew each other.

"Exactly. I'm afraid he revealed all your dirty secrets. I'll never see you the same way again." I wasn't too worried about Philipp's revelations, whatever they were, because Julie clearly wasn't upset. She could hardly get the words out between gales of laughter.

"Really? Has Christine been complaining about me not properly separating the waste back then?"

"Worse than that. It seems you have cheated on me, you bastard." She desperately tried to keep a straight face, but she failed miserably.

"Why hasn't anyone told me? I'd really liked to have been there."

"Don't you even think about it, mister!" The smile was still on her face and the laughter in her eyes, but I had no doubt she meant exactly what she said. She wanted me all to herself, and I was fine with that.

"Spoil sport. So, what did the poor sod have to tell? Has he finally gotten rid of the dragon?"

"Not yet, as far as I know, but he might be close." She had to stop to get her laughter under control. "Listen, this is going to be good. He called me out of the blue because he wanted to meet me and reveal the whole ugly truth about you. At first, I had no idea who on earth he was, until he mentioned that he was Christine's fiancé. He sounded quite upset, so my curiosity got the best of me and I agreed."

"Am I the one who should be a little jealous?"

We both laughed. Philipp was among the least attractive persons known to mankind. Not because of his looks, but because he simply had no discernible character. Christine seemed to dominate him at will and he just knuckled under, mutual acquaintances had been eager to tell me. She was clearly the dominant partner in their relationship and seemed to enjoy beating him to a pulp, mentally.

"Anyway, we met in some cafe. Without a word, not even a hello, he just put an envelope on the table. His expression was so deadly serious that it was almost funny. I felt like I was in some 1950s spy movie.

"You know that I'm not exactly curious, I just need to know everything. I immediately grabbed the envelope and pulled out some photos.

"He just said 'See?', finally proving that he was able to talk."

"See what?"

"I don't feel like talking about it today. I'm tired." She faked a yawn and made a resting bitch face until I started tickling her.

"Enough," she laughed. "You. It was you in those photos."

"What?"

"Yeah, you were having sex with Christine, and it happened recently. Your hair was already cut short."

"Huh?" I was too stunned for a more eloquent reaction.

"I knew that you'd try to talk your way out of this, you silver tongued devil," she laughed.

"Ah. How..."

"Of course, by this time I was laughing my ass off. I'm afraid that I confused poor Philipp quite a bit. He was on some kind of noble revenge mission, to "let the other woman know," and I wasn't reacting like I was supposed to."

"I can imagine. I'm afraid I am as confused as Philipp right now."

"I asked him how he got those photos. He found them in Christine's sock drawer, he said. What would you have asked next, Watson? You know my methods; apply them!"

She was smiling widely, obviously enjoying this a lot.

"I have no idea, Holmes. I'm still a bit confused right now. You are the master detective."

"Good thing we have someone in this household who's able to think, right? I, of course, asked him whether he checked that drawer regularly."

"Why would you ask that?"

"He answered that he did, whenever he did the laundry," she answered, ignoring my brilliant question.

"Not the best place to hide photos, don't you think?" I asked hesitantly.

"Now you're catching on, Watson. So, I asked him if he had already talked about it with her. Obviously, the same thing you'd have asked."

"Right," I answered, not very convincingly, which made her laugh and kiss me for whatever reason.

"It turns out that, unfortunately, she's on an important business trip right now and she left her phone at home, so he contacted me first."

"I see. Christine knew that Philipp would find the pictures, guessed correctly how he would react and used him as an unwitting messenger to convey something to you. He never had a clue and thought he would rat her out, getting revenge on her and on the man she cheated with, namely me."

"You've got it. Very convenient, don't you think? Anyway, I was in no mood to play with him and just told him that he had been set up. No offense, but the guy in the photos was too fat to be you and too lean to be him. I pointed that out, in nicer words, obviously. The poor guy, I watched his expression as it started to sink in that he had been set up. The process wasn't exactly quick, but he eventually got there."

"Christine is such a bitch."

"That she is. I showed him how to spot that your head had been rather crudely photoshopped onto some other dude's body. How your facial expression is the same in every picture. That the shadows are not correct. That your head is too big for the body they used."

"Poor bastard. How did he react?"

"I don't know. He didn't really react. A bit of brief disappointment, maybe."

"That's all? I'd be furious that she cheated to make these photos."

"Yes, but he's not the sharpest tool in the shed, apparently. So far, he was just disappointed that he was used as a messenger in Christine's scheme. I had to point out that she had cheated on him to produce these photos. Even then he was strangely calm. He is, I don't know, broken, somehow?"

"I can't say that I'm too sorry for him. He seemed damn smug when I returned home and found out that he had already taken my place."

"Yes, he's not exactly the classical nice guy. She gave you the boot for him because you were a financial disappointment. Now he has to find out that she cheated because he doesn't live up to her expectations, either. Karmic payback, I'd say."

"You know, Julie, I think they both lost."

"Why?"

"You heard that she wants me back and just keeps him around as a backup plan."

"So it seems."

"She gave him photos, showing her cheating on him, and used him as a tool to split us up, without any regard for his feelings."

"I see. If he has even a smidgen of pride left, she has just lost her backup plan."

"Yes. She has raised the stakes; she went all-in. She has staked her relationship to Philipp on separating us. That's how little he is worth to her."

"Shit, you're right. The poor sucker."

"Now she might have lost him and she still has no chance to win me back."

"Damn right. I'd have to claw her eyes out."

"Not on my account. She's not worth ruining your nails. Shall I cook us a nice dinner?"

"That'd be lovely."

Mutual acquaintances told me that Philipp had indeed found some remnant of a spine and left Christine. I have no idea how that affected her, as she completely dropped out of sight, afterwards. I made no effort to keep track of her, she just didn't matter, anymore. She was a part of my past and I was glad that she never tried to contact me or Julie again.

I sometimes thought about Vic, though. His idiocy had made me suffer for 15 months, but due to some weird karmic payback I ended up with a perfect dream life.

I had ceased my attempts to help him or to send him money. There was no way to contact him or even get someone to tell me whether he was still alive. I genuinely wished that he still rolled sixes, although I doubted by then that he ever truly had. Except when he won Juliette, of course.

Three or so years went by, each better than the last. Then one day I answered the doorbell and was shocked to see Victor standing in our doorway. He looked like shit, like he had aged by 10 years. His once handsome face was disfigured with scars. His long hair was gone. His broad shoulders had wasted away, he looked like half the man he'd once been. The careless attitude, which had made him so endearing, was completely gone.

We just stared at each other without a word until I heard Julie appear behind me and his gaze shifted towards her. I felt extremely uncomfortable as this was some kind of Deja vu scene for me. This was exactly like my homecoming to Christine, only with reversed roles. I knew exactly how he felt, so I couldn't help but feel sorry for him.

I turned my head to look in Juliette's eyes and, as usual, we understood each other without words. We were glad that he was alive. In a discreet way, we would help him get on his feet again, but neither of us wanted him in our lives anymore.

I looked at him again. Still no words were spoken. He offered his hand, I took it, then Juliette took it. Victor nodded and, looking surprisingly content, he turned and walked away. We had all just closed a chapter of our pasts. We had come full circle; all karmic debts were fully paid. It was time to start our future and it looked damn good. After a lifetime of rolling ones, I had finally rolled my six, and walked away a winner.

Many thanks to Blackrandl1958, GeorgeAnderson, Bebop3 and the rest of the sock disciples for their help.