All Comments on 'The Keeper Ch. 38-41'

Can’t wait to drive to Fremont and take a photo of the back of Lenin.

Thank you Pete. The story has been a blast. Well paced, fun, full of interesting mythos and magic. I loved it. Looking forward to your next story. Please keep writing.

5 stars every time.

Thanks again

Great story Pete, 5 stars all around. Cant wait for part 2.

Excellent storytelling. Five stars.

Loved this series.

I read all the chapters, and bought the book! I am looking forward to reading the next book in this series. Keep on writing!

Well written and the storyline always left me waiting for the next chapter.

I read all the chapters available here. I also bought the book. Looking forward to the next book in the series. Keep up the good work.

You spin a wonderful yarn and I vacant wait for your next instalments. Thank you for sharing your gift.

This was a great story and I really look forward to book 2. You really have a talent for writing I think you found your calling. Keep them coming 👏👏👍👍

I would really like to read more stories about Quinn.

Thank you for a new fresh adventure. I love your characters. Your story sucked me in quickly and took me on a wonderful adventure filled with many creatures. The world you created is fascinating.

Well done, a professional piece of writing.

Amazing work

this is one of the best stories in the site, can't wait for more.

This was one of the great works I have read on this site. Can't wait for part two.

I thoroughly enjoyed the story can't wait for the next

Great story keep it coming

Excellent story - will patiently wait for more.

Finished too soon! Will wait for the next book! Great job! Keep it up.

It is very well written and has originality in it. Over all, a very enjoyable read and I await the second book..

Great story, can't wait for more to come!

One thing...in this great series...I never saw a complete description of what the Keeper does or is responsible for?

Good story more please.

This story was great I'm super excited for the next book

Great story! Loved it. I just wished you could have gone more into the stuff tattooed on Quinn and explained some things about why the witches all hate him. Also it would have been nice if he could have kicked some more witch ass!

You sure are a writer. Thanks for sharing and definitely looking forward to the second book. Cheers.

Thanks Pete, I loved your story. I'm looking forward to more.

I enjoyed reading it. Thank you for writing it.

I cannot wait for more. Every chapter I read start to finish when I picked ot up, no matter what I was doing before it.

The magic is captivating, the mythology more so.

thoroughly enjoyed the story.

I still have that feeling that I'm missing something when reading it, it's hard to articulate, but just a feeling that as I'm reading there are things I seem to be expected to know / understand who is who.

The end felt quick, in fact the whole story felt short. That's a complement, it's because I wanted it to last longer.

I found this story oddly enchanting. The details that were added were fantastic and obviously thought about. The trip through the Opari, Dökkálfar, the singing communication of the fae, the political status of the witches, Lan's training and suffering... all of that was fantastic. There could have entire chapters devoted to just small portions of what was written here. The series was great, we just wanted more. And personally, I enjoyed the overpowered Lan. Looking forward to the next forray.

My only constructive Criticism , is that some parts jumped to far ahead leaving readers to wonder what is missing. Other than that it was an excellent story I hope than has a follow up. Or that you continue in this stile of story. Other that that, well done Sir!!!!!!

To create an entire world including the backstories, all the different types of beings not to mention all the likes, dislikes, alliances and hostilities is an incredibly large and daunting undertaking and yet you managed to do it flawlessly and seemingly with ease. None of the chapters were useless fluff and you managed to throw in factoids at times that may or may not have anything to do with this story although it did make me wonder where and how it was going to fit into one of the chapters which managed to keep me thinking throughout. I along with others I am sure shall be waiting impatiently for more of your brilliant tale. Thank you for your time and effort in making this story and putting so much in depth characters which made the story that much better of a read. I appreciate all you did and continue to do to author the best work you can.

Be well and stay safe.

J.D.

I'd say you butchered it to promote the whole story for sale. Either that or the real story (the one you have to pay a couple bucks for) is lackluster. Which means I won't buy the full version (if I had the chance), cause I can't really qualify you as a writer.

At least since Chapter 10 the pacing, exposition and character development are off. As a reader the world looks fantastic and the story sounds intriguing, but you feel rushed through it.

I'd recommend a) Signal every reader clearly that this is the reduced version. B) Either publish your whole book here, in order to promote future books. Or publish short stories here and allways advertise your novels.

That would be more honest and probably a better selling strategy, I think.

Brilliant, can't wait for the next one. Thanks for writing and sharing.

Thanks, I enjoyed your work.

good ideas, good story, good world. a little fast moving and short may be.. thank you for writing.

Wonderful story and I can't wait for the 2nd part to come out.

This was absolutely amazing, and I cannot wait for the second book. You've got yourself a dedicated reader.

Great story!!!!

Please, keep writing, you DO have the talent. Use it.

Not horny enough! But still really good! 5 stars!

This story was awesome, and thank you for sharing. I love the authenticity of the Germanic lore you have incorporated into this story.

Really, really good. Well thought out, great character development. Thanks for writing it.

Great read. Certainly disserves a wider audience. Wrong platform to promote it. Our luck I found this.

Your writing started out a little shaky for the first 2 or 3 chapters. But then you seemed to have gotten your groove. It was free flowing from that point onwards. Very interesting characters. The folklore was fascinating. Well done!

I loved this story. Fantastic worldbuilding... Two thumbs up.

great story! Read it straight through. Appreciation for the editing attention as well as the creation of many different and interesting story lines using relatively few words to do it. Nicely done.

Great work, boilermaker. Just career move. Thanks

Nice story, tight, little wasted verbiage, slow release of background information. Really, a superior offering.

You have a fantastic way of telling the story. I think you have found your calling.

I'm so glad you are going to continue this story. I was halfway through the 3rd last chapter when I knew I was going to to comment and beg you to either continue it or right a new story. The way you write just flows. It feels so natural in my head. Only thing I spotted was a word I think you meant to be was "Unimaginable". Anyway,. truly an awesome job.

Liked. Will be watching for more!

I went and bought this book to keep you writing.

Excellent writing and I'm pretty critical as a former English teacher. Loved the story and hope for more. Hope this is made into a movie some day, as long as they keep strictly to your story-line.

great story, bought the book on amazon to give you some support. can't wait for book 2

Superb. You have real talent. Looking forward to seeing more of your excellent work.

Each chapter left me wanting more. Good job!

Fair story but same presumed importance as a lot of literotica writers. Get over`yourself; finish the story and realize that you are no Tom Clancy. If you ENJOY WRITING sooo much why are you dragging this out?

As they say, “Those that can, do and those that can’t, should keep their whining, complaining mouths shut so that those who can will be able to continue creating and posting their hard work that is enjoyed and appreciated by many” or at least I believe it goes something like that. Why can’t people just enjoy the great work of talented authors instead of bitching and moaning. To find someone who has lead such a diverse and interesting life and now enjoys writing stories that are enjoyed by many is a wonderful thing so if this persons writing bothers you so much, stop reading it and move on to something you would enjoy or show everyone your skill and put some stories out there.

To Pete Young, I would like to thank you for taking your skill and creativity and putting it out there for all to enjoy. I have neither the talent nor the guts to put myself out there even if I had the talent or skill or whatever you might want to call it. You are a rare breed considering the amount of people in the world compared to the amount of seriously talented authors and writers in any medium. You have my gratitude for posting your work which makes me a happier person after reading it. We could all use more joy in our lives.

Great story. Very enjoyable read. Ignore the haters!

I am not a fan of magic stories, but this tale is far more than a few spells. It has real characters, elements of noir detective stories, connection to the world of military and so many levels of magic that it becomes a convincing whole. Great story telling.

I honestly wish there was more. I really enjoyed it. Just read it again.

i loved it and i hope for more

Rgards M

I do hope you continue with book 2, bc i like this story very much.

Bloody awesome can’t wait to book 2 mate hope you start posting soon

Extremely well done!

Chocolate Sin ... absolutely classic!

plz keep the story going an have it published

You may wish to clarify that the version on Amazon, and the version here, are effectively identical. I purchased the "complete" story, as described in your bio, and you can imagine my surprise when it differed not a whit from the one I'd read here. I even carefully copied and pasted the html code from every page into a document so I could compare...it's the same. I don't know if that was somehow deliberate, though I'd be shocked if it were, but I do know it was rather irritating. Four dollars may not be much, but when every dollar is precious, wasting them unnecessarily because of a confusingly phrased bio...is annoying. Obviously this doesn't affect my rating, because I still enjoyed the story, I just wanted to mention it.

Please keep writing

I really would love to read either more of the aftermath of this story, or anything else in this universe please!

just finished reading through the story in a few hours, I can't wait for more

Well that was fun. Looking forward to book 2.

Boiler maker? I thought that went out with steam trains?

This was a great story. I just re-read it and it was better the 2nd time because I had a clear understanding of the part each character plays in the story.

Well bloody hell, Mr Pete Young. What a ripping yarn that was. I’ll have you know that you owe me a weekend. I couldn’t put the damn thing down. Seriously, you have quite the talent. Apart from the very occasional glitch which a re-read or edit would fix, the story was near perfect. Your bio reads from over the Atlantic, yet you refer to a tardis; the plot thickens.

I really cannot wait for your next instalment. A huge thanks for sharing (so far).

Wow! Amazing srory by a rookie author! Superb!

Thanks, CharlyYoung!

Sir, is there a place I can buy a copy of this? You deserve a financial reward for the enjoyment you have given me, and I would like a physical copy in case the 1s and 0s ever fail.

Pete, you are a very gifted writer. I've read plenty of fiction novels in my lifetime and this story ranks among the most interesting that I've had the pleasure of reading. If it was a bit longer and more fleshed-out, I would say this story would and should be published in book form. You could definitely make an income as a writer. I want to thank you for the time and effort it took for you to write and edit this, and the fact that you posted it here on Lit for all of us to enjoy for free!

That being said, while praise may motivate, it's constructive criticism that (hopefully) helps to refine skills. I would have liked to have seen a slower revealing of the main character's skills/powers/abilities. As it's written, his powers and abilities put him as "God-like" (as in God of Death) pretty much as soon as they're revealed to the reader, so there's never any sense of struggle or danger on his part, except briefly right at the end. Though I admit this may have been intentional on your part due to the relatively short length of the story. Still... it would have been nice to see one or two "close calls", or at least something that might seem dangerous at first. For example: Someone could have hid in the shadows and knocked him on the head with a club. Perhaps there could have been an (almost) equally dangerous Bad Guy. A sort of Lex Luthor to Quinn's Superman. Quinn gets the better of him, then the next encounter Bad Guy wins that round, setting the scene for a final encounter. You could have used his PTSD as a reason for the Bad Guy winning a round.

Above all, I just wish it was a longer story because I enjoyed reading it so much! :) Thanks again!

Love it

Very much enjoyed this story! And love that you published it so I can buy a physical copy!!! Hope you keep writing!

Amazing professionally written story. I didn't notice a single malapropism or misspelt word to take me out of the story. No cliches or mixed up character names to detract from reading. While a story of this quality never seems long enough, I did not feel there were any pacing issues nor plot holes. I cannot compliment you enough. If you have an editor or editors, they deserve thanks as well for a such a professional quality book.

I look forward to the sequel with great anticipation. Thank you for your generosity in sharing.

Really good. Thank you.

Awesome. Thank you

I liked this story so much I just sought out the author and bought the ebook. Thank you.

Just read this for the second time, was as taken with it as much as the first a year ago. I am 70 years old and have been an avid reader since I started when I was 5. Had an adult library card when I was 8 so that I could check out more than the 3 books every 2 weeks when we went into town. Before that, I always had to use my mom's card and the head librarian got used to the fact that books were important to me. When I am reading, I become and live in the world of the story. Your's was as interesting, vivid and well written as any of the authors that I have enjoyed. I could understand where the characters were and what they were feeling, and why. Hope to see more fleshed out in the future. I believe you have more places to take your characters and us along with them. Thank you for you time and effort.

Awesome!!

fun story ... where is the next one ... quinn stories can go on for an eternity ..

Great story, you’ve built the characters and the world they live in from very little, but you’ve made it live in our minds which is a gift, well done CharlyYoung for managing that, I’ve been entertained and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the tale you’ve told!

Very few errors throughout this story, although there are a few characters that were written as if we knew their backstories, when in fact I suspect they’d been pared down in the editing, which in the long run is probably for the best - not great boring the pants with long winded tales of incidental characters unless they figure heavily in the next book/tale? I’d like to think a home visit to the Troll clans might be in here next time around….

Still, great story telling, and a big thank you for both writing it and posting it here on Lit, regards Ppfzz. 5⭐️

Love the series, how about some more.

So no book 2 then?

Hope your doing well and post the sec out book.

Great story. Hoping that you will continue your writing it's to good not to be continued.

Just found this story & enjoyed it. Looking forward to the next installment. Hopefully that will happen soon.

This entire series was utterly fantastic I enjoyed reading your work I have to say you are one of the few rare authors that can delve into a story in such a way that it just grabs the attention and holds it thank you for writing

Please bring back the Keeper and his young ward. Would love to see him handle the local Were issues and have the occasional cup of coffee with his new vampire friend while annoying the witches endlessly.

This is one of tbe best stories ive read. Full of potential

Way outside the genre I usually read. But I enjoyed it. Very good read

Extremely excellent story...keep writing more please...

LOVED IT LOVED IT LOVED IT LOOKING FORWARD FOR MORE.

Nice yarn... Bit out of place for Literotica though...

Liked it very much. Gets a bit deep, at times, but worth the time to figure it out. You mentioned a "Book Two". It's been a while, so I hope you will continue this story.