The Kid Nobody Missed

I thought of her every day while I was in 'Nam. It was impossible to forget that hug she gave me before I left and what she whispered in my ear: "You come home and marry me Liam. Promise you'll come home." I had daydreams of doing just that, but she was so damn young at the time. Growing up, we were always tight and she used to tease me that she wanted to marry me when we were older. In my teens, I just assumed that was kid-talk, but that goodbye told me she was dead serious. The thing is, the older we got the more I thought the same thing, but she was too young for me to do anything about it back then.

I drifted off to sleep with thoughts of her, hoping I'd get to see her soon.

*****

Saturday morning I took a drive to Kutztown to see if I could learn anything. I visited the Kutztown police station hoping to pry some information loose. Walking in, there was no reception area. A middle-age cop at a desk sat back in his chair and looked at me with a glare that was meant to tell me he was the boss. He was typical of many small-town officers. The buttons on his shirt were stretched apart and his white undershirt filled the gaps. He had to be 80 pounds overweight from just sitting at his desk or in a squad car all day while eating donuts and fast food. He was one "foot pursuit" away from a heart attack.

"Whatcha need, son?"

"Hi, officer. I'm Zack Masters, and I was hoping you could help me with some information about last year's fair."

"Not sure what I can do. What are you lookin' for?"

"Is it possible to find out if there were any rapes reported during the fair?"

"Son, I can't just share police info with anybody who waltzes in here. Why the hell do ya need that?"

I almost laughed when he did his best to look large and intimidating, but I hoped to get his cooperation and thought my best shot was to be up front with him.

"Sorry. I should have explained. I'm opening a private investigation agency in Allentown, and my first case involves something that may have happened at the fair."

"Got a license?"

"Uh, not yet. I'm supposed to have it early next week."

"Come back with the license, then we can talk."

I was somewhere between disappointed and pissed. My brain kept tossing around ideas about how to respond to this arrogant prick when his face softened a bit.

"Zack Masters, eh? You related to Bill Masters?"

"Yeah. He was my pop."

"Was? What happened?"

"He passed about a year ago while I was in 'Nam."

"Shit. He was a fine man. I worked with him once in a while when he was with the force. All right, let me think."

"Thanks, sir."

"Off hand, I don't remember a rape last year, but let me look at the records."

I sat while he thumbed through a book at the rear of the office. Finally, he waddled back to where I was seated.

"Don't see anything from the fair or around that time. I looked all the way through a few months following. The only rape I see back then was on campus in October, but we got that bastard. Sorry, Zack."

"Could a victim report it somewhere else?"

"If they did, the police there would be required to talk to us anyway."

I didn't like the guy, but I needed friendly contacts. So we talked a bit before I took off.

I hopped in Vickie and drove home discouraged. Just to be safe, I'd talk to local newspapers the following week. I started to wonder why I was wasting time finding this kid. Other than Sheila, no one seemed to give a damn where he was. I'm not even sure she cared that much, but I guessed she felt she was obligated to know the truth. I made a promise, so I was going to see it through even if there was no answer to be found.

Still, I couldn't help feeling I was missing something.

*****

The rest of the weekend was spent checking out my pop's surveillance equipment, storing old files, and putting together a resume of my experience and the services I was going to offer. Soon I'd visit local law offices and counselors to let them know I was in business and ready for referrals. I hoped my time in the CID would carry enough credibility to get them to give me a chance. I knew what other investigators charged, and I planned to start with rates lower than theirs to stir up interest.

Sunday evening while I was having dinner with Sheila and thinking about Caitlyn, a thought popped into my brain.

"Sheila, I think I'm going to take a quick trip to Pittsburgh."

"Do you want me to go, too?"

"Not this time. I wanna see Caitlyn and a friend from the Army who lives near where she's staying."

Sheila's smile faded. "I don't have a chance against her, do I?"

"Hey, look. You know I like you, but Caitlyn and I have a long history and I'm pretty sure we're meant to be. I haven't seen her in five years and I can't wait anymore."

"A girl can hope, can't she?"

I needed to change subjects.

"Hey, you have a driver's license, right?"

"Yeah."

"Good. Tomorrow I'll call Craig and see if we can get you a reasonable company car to use. Then, when I'm gone you'll still be able to get around."

"Are you sure? I already feel like I'm taking advantage of you."

"Knock off that thinking. We're helping each other. Isn't that the flower-child way?"

"Yeah," she said as she laughed. "I didn't think you liked that kind of life."

"It's never wrong to help each other, and that's what we're doing."

"I'm glad you're who you are, Zack. In a lot of ways, I think you kinda saved me."

"You're saving yourself, kid. By the way, when I'm away you need to keep seeing your mom."

"Absolutely. When we were together last week, she said she told my dad that we were meeting."

"How'd he take that?"

"I thought he'd blow up, but she said he had tears in his eyes. She wants me to stay for dinner some night next week and see if we can patch things up."

I was proud of Sheila. I guess I waltzed into her life at just the right time to see her pull it together. After a few years of air-head flower power, she was becoming a hell-of-a good woman.

When we got back to the house, I called Slick, my buddy in Pittsburgh, to see if I could visit. He had a really loose schedule and could see me anytime.

I called Craig to set an appointment for first thing Monday morning. Then, I had to handle the hard part.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Liam. Zack here. Listen, I'm going to Pittsburgh next week to visit an Army buddy. Do you think I could stop in and visit Aunt Nancy and Caitlyn?"

"Movin' on from that dead case?"

"Nah, I just, well..."

He chuckled. "I guess you can't wait, can ya?"

"Liam, she's all I thought of while I was away. She was so damn young when I left, and I gotta know what can be real now that we're both grown, ya know?"

"Yeah, I understand. Son, you're all she wanted to talk about over the last five years. Nan and I tried to get her to socialize with friends and, maybe, get a boyfriend or two, but that girl had her heart set on you and there was no way to get her to move off that."

"Didn't you want her to think of me?"

"Geez, Zack. Sure we were both glad she had eyes for you. But she was thirteen. We just wanted her to be a normal kid."

"Uncle Liam, I gotta see her."

He didn't sound thrilled, but gave me the number to reach Aunt Nancy. She was excited to have me come, and Caitlyn's squeals of delight came through loud and clear from the background.

I hung up and my thoughts centered on Caitlyn. Damn, I really did want to see her. What Liam told me and the way she responded to my upcoming visit told me what I wanted to hear. She wanted to see me as much as I wanted to see her. Hopefully, neither of us would be disappointed.

*****

The dealership Craig worked for opened at 9:00 on Monday, so Sheila and I arrived just as they were opening the showroom. Craig had a car in mind, and it was perfect.

"Guys, this is a 1968 Mercury Marquis. It's five years old with only 45,000 miles on it. We're havin' trouble selling it because it was a police car."

"Police car? They get really beat up. Why's this look so good?"

"It was an unmarked car used by the Bethlehem police chief as a personal car and never used on patrol. But I have to disclose that it was a cop car and that makes folks shy away from it. I can sell it really cheap."

Sheila loved it and it drove beautifully. I paid cash, and told Sheila she could stay while they cleaned it up and then drive it home or stop at her mom's. I also told her she could name the car since it would be for her to use. She wanted to call it Rocky.

"Rocky? Cars have girl names."

"Not mine. If a guy's car is a girl, then a girl's car can be a guy."

I couldn't argue with that, so I let her have her way since I knew I'd lose anyway.

I stopped at the courthouse and was able to pick up my PI license. It was official. I was in business. I grabbed a Big Mac for lunch, and took off for Pittsburgh. I would be there by dinner and my buddy was expecting me. Sure, I was glad I was gonna see him, but it was Caitlyn who I really wanted to visit.

*****

This visit with Slick was great, but he could tell I was distracted. He finally got it out of me that there was a girl I wanted to see. Since he was a guy, he understood. Even so, we had a great visit. He was planning on getting his PI license too, so we talked about some joint efforts and maybe even operating as one company with two offices. Even if the association wasn't formal, it would make both of our firms appear larger and more established.

I stayed at a little motel that wasn't too far from where Nancy and Caitlyn were living. Before hitting the sack, I called Sheila.

"How's Rocky?"

"I love it! He's a big sucker, so he makes me feel safe. And, guess what?"

"What?"

"I had dinner with mom and dad last night."

"Wow! That's great. Did it go well?"

"There were lots of tears, hugs, and apologies. Yeah, it was amazing. Uh, there's something else I need to tell you."

"That doesn't sound good."

"Well, I think it is. I'm not sure how you'll feel about it."

"Spill. What's going on?"

"Craig asked me out this coming Friday, and I said yes."

"Really? I think that's, uh, great. He's a really good guy."

"We talked a lot while they got Rocky ready. I really like him."

It's funny. I was surprised that her news didn't bother me. I mean, Sheila and I have become close and as much as I liked her, my heart was set on Caitlyn. Basically, I was really happy for two friends. I hoped they hit it off.

As for me, I was way too excited to sleep. I had visions of a thirteen-year-old Caitlyn dancing in my head, and I couldn't wait to see the woman she'd grown into.

*****

The next morning was a beautiful, sunny, and warm summer day. I pulled into the driveway at 10:00 AM with nerves going crazy and expectations high. Nancy's mom's place was a big, old, sky blue Victorian with perfectly manicured gardens. Walking up to the porch, the smell of honeysuckle and the sound of birds singing filled my senses.

The front door opened and through the screen I gazed upon a vision of loveliness. Her light blue summer dress highlighted the grown figure of the little girl I knew. Long, reddish brown hair flowed down over her shoulders. That, along with a gorgeous spattering freckles and fair complexion, clearly announced her Irish heritage with breathtaking beauty. My heart melted. I was completely captivated and found I couldn't make words form on my tongue.

"Zack Masters. My goodness, you are more handsome than ever."

"You can't be Caitlyn, that little girl who gave me the biggest hug when I left."

"Oh, it's me alright."

She ran out the door and embraced me with all her might. Tingles went up and down my spine as I held the girl I had dreamed about for so long.

"Hey, Zack. Save some hugging for me!"

"Aunt Nancy! Wow, Caitlyn changed so much but you look exactly the same. It's good to see you."

We sat on the porch drinking coffee and eating some delicious things Nan called scones. I'd never had anything like them before, and, damn, they were good.

Nancy and I seemed to monopolize the conversation, but Caitlyn kept smiling at me and making little faces to distract me. After about a half hour or so, Aunt Nancy proved with her actions to be a wise and observant woman.

"Well, something tells me that Zack would rather be spending time with just you, Caitlyn. Why don't you catch up a bit? I'm going to get a picnic basket together so the two of you can take a walk and enjoy the day."

"Momma!" Caitlyn was blushing, and I was pretty sure I was too.

"Oh, stop pretending. Do you two really think I don't know how you've always felt about each other? You're both five years older and grown up. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll leave you both alone."

After she left, Caitlyn looked at me with a huge smile, big eyes, and rosy red blushing cheeks. "Is she right, Zack? Have you always felt something special for me?"

I took her hands in mine and looked deeply into her eyes. "Before I left, you were so young and it wouldn't have been proper for me to say how I felt. But I've always hoped I could sit like this with you, and tell you I'm crazy about you. Now that we're both old enough, I hope you're willing to get to know the adult version of me. I know I want to learn everything about the beautiful woman sitting here with me."

"I'd like that. I'd like that a lot. But, why didn't you write while you were in Vietnam?"

"Oh, I wanted to. But you were still so young and I couldn't say the things I wanted to say. And, well, if anything bad happened to me, I didn't want you to be in a place where you carried a torch for me. Can you understand?"

"I guess I understand, but I carried that torch anyway."

We sat and talked for a while, reminiscing about our younger days. At one point, she frowned a bit, but the blush returned.

"Do you remember my tenth birthday party? I made you promise to marry me when we were older. Silly, wasn't it?"

"I didn't think it was silly then, and I don't think it's silly now. It's true that we're older and grown, but I'm hoping that we can spend time finding out if our childhood promises were actually glimpses of what our future can become."

Aunt Nan came out with a picnic basket stuffed with five sandwiches, a huge container of potato salad, and a gallon jug of lemonade.

"Geez, mom. Did you pack enough?"

"Don't get smart with me, Caitlyn. Zack looks like a young man with a healthy appetite."

Nancy smiled as she sent us on our way.

I was on cloud nine walking with Caitlyn. She was everything I'd dreamed she'd be. We talked about things we did over the last five years. We shared dreams and plans, and about how each of us had changed.

The park had a big playground that was loaded with kids and I watched her eyes as she enjoyed the antics of the children. The moms all gathered in an area with benches and talked animatedly amongst themselves. We wandered towards a covered pavilion that was empty, and claimed one of the picnic tables.

Caitlyn spread out the table cloth and set out the ham sandwiches and potato salad, and poured our drinks. We were almost finished eating when it struck me that the playful sounds of the children could still be heard, and I had to comment. "I love the sounds of kids having fun. There's something special about seeing them lose themselves in their play."

She frowned. "Then why do you seem so sad?"

"Not sad, really. Just thinking. There wasn't a lot of this while I was overseas. This feels...right, somehow. Like home. A picnic, a beautiful girl, kids laughing. I assume you want kids someday?"

"Absolutely. You and I were only children and I think we both missed out on something. I'd like anywhere between three and five. I want all that hope and happiness to make a home, ya know?"

"I could see that. I wouldn't mind having a houseful. As an only kid, I'm all alone now that Pop is gone. I think it would be great to have a brother or sister around."

"I never thought about that, but I'm here, so you aren't really alone.

"I can't tell you how happy I am that you're here. I'm glad nobody has stepped in and wrapped you up. You never mentioned if you had any boyfriends. I mean, a girl as beautiful as you must have had lots of offers."

"No, not really. The only date I really had wasn't so much a date as it was helping a friend. I let a boy in my class, Brad Buehler, take me to the prom. He was painfully shy and got picked on a lot." She giggled at the memory. "I actually had to ask him and he was too shocked to speak. But he was sweet. We held hands and did a few dances. He was interesting to talk with once he loosened up. He had me home by 11:00 PM, and I gave him a peck on the cheek. Fortunately, he knew it was a one-time thing, but it seemed to give him some courage and he started dating a girl in the class below us."

"Why didn't you date? You had to be the prettiest girl in the school."

She looked down with a shy smile and blushed. "You know why. I wanted to wait for a certain guy to come home from overseas."

"Really? Who's the lucky guy?"

She playfully smacked my arm. "Zack, I was never gonna find someone like you, and I didn't want to. Other than a peck on the lips with Brad, I've never gone anywhere or done anything with a boy."

"You never really kissed a guy?"

"Nope. I wanted you to be my first kiss."

"Oh. So--can I have that kiss now?"

She smiled and turned towards me straddling the picnic bench, and I did the same. I leaned in and gave her a few pecks on the lips and I was in heaven. I increased the intensity and began to lick her lips until she parted them making way for our tongues to meet for the first time. She may have lacked experience, but she was full of passion that fueled our desire. I pulled her tight to me and we continued to make out, occasionally pausing to gaze at each other.

She put her head on my shoulder to catch her breath. "Oh, my, gosh. That was even more amazing than I imagined."

"Caitlyn, that was...wow!"

We quietly stayed in the embrace, but after a few moments I sensed something was wrong. I could feel her softly crying.

"What's wrong? Did I do something to upset you?"

"No, no. It's something I...oh, please, just hold me."

I did as she asked. We stayed in that tight embrace while she fought to gain control of her emotions. After a few moments, without changing position she began to speak quietly and hesitantly.

"Zack, I'm afraid you won't want me after I tell you something."

"You can tell me anything. After thinking about no one but you, I can't imagine not wanting you. Please, what's the matter?"

"I'm...oh, God...Zack, I wanted to save myself for you in every way, but...I'm not a virgin."

"What do you mean? Well, first, I'm not either. But you said you never had a boyfriend. How? What happened?"

Her hands were shaking and she looked up, as if to gather strength. "Oh, please forgive me. A man, well...he forced me!"

She was sobbing nearly out of control. I was pretty sure at that moment that my worst suspicions were true, and it felt like I was being stabbed in the gut. My Caitlyn...victimized by that scum of the earth. The timelines all matched, the sudden move to Pittsburgh, it all added up. I fought my pain and anger, and focused on the woman I loved.

I held her tightly for a moment to reassure her, then sat her up so I could look into her eyes. I kissed her tears and felt her grow calmer. "You did nothing wrong. There's nothing to forgive."

Her face scrunched up in trying to avoid crying as she nodded rapidly. I kissed her lightly, then pulled her head back on my shoulder. "You've been holding this in. I've got you now. You can let it out."

Her weeping was filled with pain, and I felt my pain starting to cause my own eyes to tear up as well. Once she started to calm and I had gained control of myself, I talked to her in a calm, soft voice.