The Kid Nobody Missed

"It breaks my heart that you went through this, but it doesn't change how I feel about you. It wasn't your choice. You're still Caitlyn, the woman I dreamed about while I was halfway around the world, and whoever that asshole was, he can't take away who you are. Now, kiss me and let's start to put that in the past."

"Oh, Zack!"

Her mouth attacked my lips and our passion grew to new heights. After a moment, she raised up and giggled. It was the sweetest sound I ever heard.

"I'm sorry, that one was a little snotty."

"It still made me weak in the knees."

We held each other a little longer in silence, then she hit me with something I hadn't expected. "Zack, mom and I came here because he got me pregnant."

I fought myself to not react, and just support her. But inside my anger grew to unbearable heights. I was boiling mad at that asshole. I finally calmed myself and asked the obvious question. "What happened with the baby?"

Her hands shook and lips quivered. "Mom and dad talked me into giving her up for adoption. They were right, of course, but I held her for a little while after she was born. Oh, Zack, she was so beautiful and tiny. I finally handed her to the nurse to be taken away, and I cried for days."

"How long ago was she born?"

"Just a few weeks ago."

"Geez. Are you feelin' okay?"

"Still a little sore and tired. But I can't stop crying all the time. Mom says it's normal after giving birth, but it'll get better. Having you here is the first time I've felt happy for a while."

I held her tightly and quietly whispered words of love. I was lost. I didn't have a clue what to do, but just being there and assuring her felt right.

She raised her head and kissed me. "Thank you, Zack. I know things will be okay. Mom says it just takes a little time and having the right people around you. I think you may be the only 'right people' I need."

"I'm here. I wish I didn't have to leave tonight, though."

"I know. Me, too. But mom told me we're moving back home soon."

"So all that was the real reason you came out here?"

"Yeah. Dad didn't want what happened to be public, so he wanted us out of town while he investigated. When I found out I was expecting, I had to stay until, well, you know."

"When did the guy attack you?"

"Last August at the Kutztown Fair. My eighteenth birthday was a few days earlier, and we were at the fair to celebrate."

"Oh, damn!"

"Yeah. Some celebration, huh?"

We walked some more and moved on to different topics. I fought to stay focused on Caitlyn, but my emotions were making my gut churn. What she told me was final confirmation that things happened in the way I feared the most. I knew what became of Mike Peters, and I had no idea what to do now that I knew.

We returned to the house and had dinner with Aunt Nancy and her mother. The glow was back in Caitlyn's eyes and Aunt Nancy couldn't stop smiling. After we ate, I helped clear the table and told Caitlyn to help her grandmother get situated in the living room. Nancy was quick to ask me the question that was on her heart.

"She told you, didn't she?"

"Yeah. You've done a great job helping her deal with it."

"So, what now?"

"I love her. I think I always have, but, if anything, I love her even more than I did before. Are you moving back soon? It's been five long years. I don't want to wait any longer."

"Yeah, I think we'll move back in a few weeks. I know Liam is pulling his hair out waiting for us to come home. And, Zack, I think she needs you more right now than anybody else."

I needed to get on the road for my five-hour drive. I said my goodbyes, and Caitlyn walked out to my truck with me. I held her hand, then pulled her into another scorching hot kiss.

"Caitlyn, I know for sure that I'm in love with you. I know this is quick and you might not feel the same, but, well, I can understand that. Your mom said you'd be moving back soon and I can't wait."

"You really are my dreams coming true, Zack. And, yes, you already know I'm in love with you. But, are we moving too fast?"

"Oh, I don't know. I kinda look at it this way. We were young, but we've spent eighteen years getting to know each other. Sure, the last five we were apart, but I spent those lonely nights in 'Nam only thinking of one thing. I couldn't wait for you to be old enough to tell you how I feel. I want you, Caitlyn. I mean, I want you in every way. I'm not just talking about sex, although I hope that will be part of it someday." She giggled and blushed. "I'm talking about life-partners. I think we belong together. After we date a few months to really get to know the grown-up version of each other, I plan to get down on one knee and make us permanent. Is that something you'd want?"

To answer my question, she attacked me with an intense, passionate kiss.

"I think the girl likes me!"

"You have no idea."

Parting was the hardest thing I think I've ever had to do, but eventually I had to hit the road. At first, I didn't need Vickie's help getting home. I was sure I could fly if I wanted to. But I hadn't gone far when the anxiety from knowing the truth and my burning hatred of Mike Peters started to flood everything else outta my head.

I needed to stop halfway home for gas. I went inside to get a bag of chips and a Coke and when I came out some guys my age were there, one of them sitting on my bumper. They were making fun of the high school kid pumping the gas.

"Get the hell off my truck." The one on my bumper took in my size and looked to his friends. While I stared at him all I could see was Mike Peters.

"Yeah, you've got your friends here. You'll be fine. Get up and swing."

He looked back to me. "You got some sort of--"

"No, bitch, I said get up and swing. You like pickin' on kids half a decade younger than you? Try that shit on me."

"Look, calm the hell down before we--"

"Before you what? Keep talking? Now get your ass away from my truck before I throw you through your windshield."

I wanted him to come at me. I needed him to come at me. Instead, he flicked his cigarette to the ground, mumbled something and walked over to his friends.

"That's what I thought, bitch."

Letting the kid keep the change, I drove to the edge of the property and kept an eye on things until they left. If they'd hurt the kid I would have lost my mind. Letting the adrenaline drive through me, I sat for another few minutes and drove off raging against Mike Peters.

*****

Liam was on duty the next day, so I called and told him I'd see him at his house after dinner. I was glad he had to work. I had to cool off before we talked.

Sheila and I spent the day visiting law firms to talk about getting referrals. They all remembered my pop and thought he was the best, so I knew they'd throw some business my way. In fact, one lawyer set me up right away to do some work for him to support a client going to trial facing murder charges. He was sure the guy was being set up. We set an appointment and he gave me a retainer check on the spot. It was official. Masters Investigation Services was making money.

Sheila was bubbling about her upcoming date with Craig, which made me comfortable telling her about my time with Caitlyn and how I was sure she was the one for me. During dinner, I guess my nerves were too transparent about my appointment with Liam.

"Zack, are you okay? You seem preoccupied about something other than Caitlyn."

"Huh? Oh, no. I'm just really tired from my trip and I still need to see Liam tonight to let him know how I made out."

She laughed. "You mean how you did making out with his daughter?"

We finished eating and I dropped Sheila off at home before heading to Liam's place. I hoped he had some Scotch around, 'cause we were both gonna need it.

*****

"Hey, Zack! Come on in. Can I get you something?"

"You got any Scotch?"

"No true Irishman drinks that horse piss! How about a good Irish whiskey?"

"Sounds good. Neat, please."

Liam clanged some bottles and glasses together getting our drinks. "So, Caitlyn tells me you two had a hell-of-a fine day. Was it what you expected?"

"Yeah. All that and more. I knew I loved her before I went, and I'm surer than ever."

"Well, don't rush things, okay? You haven't been around each other for a long time. Take time to be absolutely positive, okay?"

"Yeah, we talked about that."

"So, what else is on your mind?"

I looked him right in the eyes. "Kutztown Fair."

He turned white as a ghost. He downed his glass in one gulp, got up, and started pacing.

"Once you saw her, I was sure you'd find out. She told you what happened, eh?"

"Not in detail, but, yeah. She only confirmed stuff I already figured out. You wanna tell me about it?"

"Not really, but I guess I don't have a choice, do I?"

He filled his glass and sat across from me, staring. I'd seen that look in 'Nam. He was assessing me and taking stock. I stared back, not flinching or looking away. He'd already buried one man, this wasn't the time to show weakness.

"We went to the fair to celebrate Caitlyn's birthday. We always had good times there and that's what she asked for as a present. Nan and I were watching a tumbling act, and Caitlyn left to go to the ladies room. The main building had nicer ones, but we were closer to the portable johns at the other end, so she went there. The act we were watching finished and we wondered where she was, so we went looking. Nan saw her first. Her hair was mussed up and her clothing disheveled. She had tears on her face, but she wasn't really crying. She looked like she was in shock or something. I carried her to the car and she started sobbing and told us the whole thing."

"Anyone see what happened?"

"No one seemed to notice. Anyway, she said a guy grabbed her from behind coming out of the john, he pulled a ski mask down over her eyes, carried her a ways into the field behind the johns, threw her on the ground and...and..."

Liam was shaking all over trying to fight off losing control.

"Well, you know what he did. He told her he had a knife and he'd use it if she screamed."

"Did she know who he was?"

"Yeah. She said she could see through the loose weave of the hat. She recognized him as the guy who pumped gas at the Mobil station. So, you and I both know who it was. I had Nan stay with her while I looked for any evidence I could gather. I found the plastic carnival prize dinosaur next to some matted grass where he must have done it. She said she dropped it when he grabbed her, so he probably picked it up so no one noticed it, 'cause then they might see or hear what he was gonna do to her. I went to the car and got a trash bag outta the trunk, then bagged the dinosaur to take it for prints."

"I take it that you never considered getting the Kutztown cops involved?"

"Those hacks? Even if they arrested and charged him, it wouldn't get him what he deserved. No, I was going to handle this."

"Are you positive it was Mike?"

"Yeah. Next day I took her to a parking lot across from the Mobil and she pointed him out. Before I took care of him I had to be sure, so I went to headquarters at night when it's almost empty and got prints off the dino. There were lots of different ones I guess from the carnies. I had three come up with criminal records. One set was definitely his."

"So you sent Caitlyn and Aunt Nancy out west and decided to take care of the asshole?"

"Yeah. I convinced them not to tell anybody and that we weren't gonna file a police report. Nan argued like hell with me. She knew I was gonna do somethin'. They left for Pittsburgh the following week. God, I miss them." He paused to gather himself. "Once they got there, a few weeks later we learned Caitlyn was pregnant. Did she tell you what happened?"

"Yeah. Givin' up the baby is takin' a toll on her."

"I figured, but what else could she do? Damn, I wish they kept quiet. We gotta be sure none of this gets out."

"What about Mike?"

"Oh, Lord!"

He put his head in his hands, and the guy who never showed weakness wept like I never thought I'd see. Eventually he looked up. His eyes were red and I saw a broken man sitting across from me. "The day Nan and Caitlyn left, I went to our cabin in the Poconos to prepare things. It's really isolated, and I knew I could do what I wanted to do there with very little chance of being noticed. I started following him, looking for a chance. A couple of weeks later, I was outside Hank's--a bar he went to a lot. Luck was with me. He came out alone and went out back to smoke and, I guess, to take a piss. I whacked him over the head, stuffed him in my trunk, and went to the cabin. Fortunately, there was no blood to leave traces in my car, but I had the trunk lined with plastic to be sure."

Emotion again overwhelmed him for a minute. I kept quiet to let him tell the story when he was ready.

"Zack, it was like it wasn't me. I did things to that kid I never thought I was capable of. But that piece of shit hurt my little girl, ya know? I can't tell you all I did. Damn, the monster that came outta me scares me shitless. That monster made sure the little weasel suffered and begged for a long time before I finished it."

He held a sofa pillow to his chest and I watched him struggle against his emotions. Again, I waited for him to continue.

"You stay on the force long enough and you see some serious shit. After enough time, it doesn't impact you like it used to. That all goes out the window when it's your daughter. So, Zachariah, what are you gonna do?"

"We both know what I should do. But you also know that if I had been here, I would have done the same thing you did, seven days a week and twice on Sundays. Is there any chance his body could be found?"

"No. No chance at all. I'll spare you the details, but there's nothing to find."

"Any chance someone else knows what you did, even Aunt Nancy or Caitlyn?"

"No. I told them he disappeared before I could get to him."

"So, what do you think we should do?"

"Damn, kid, I don't know. You got any ideas?"

I got up, filled my glass, and started to pace around to gather my response. I thought long and hard about all this over the prior days. There I was, a licensed PI, and I was gonna break the law my first week on the job. It went against everything I believed in, but Mike was the guilty one and the real monster. He violated the woman I loved, and I was glad he paid a heavy price. I just needed to figure out how Liam and I could keep things under control.

"No doctors or hospitals got involved with Caitlyn about the rape?"

"No. Only got them involved when she was found pregnant, but no one knew how it happened or who the father was."

"I was thinking of things like pinning his disappearance on a jealous husband or someone like that, but that would leave open questions and more to investigate. I think our best move is to blame drug dealers. You've already paved the way for that. Plus, no one is gonna go looking for them anyway so they wouldn't be able to find any clues to prove otherwise."

"Yeah. That's why I floated that rumor out there."

"Don't we need something in the official police file to back up that claim?"

"It would go a long way towards closing the case, but how? If I falsify something or back-date it, I risk getting caught."

"Let me think."

I did some more pacing when an idea hit me. "Hey, if I'm investigating and report a finding to you, don't you have to record it in the file?"

"Sure."

"Then I got a plan. It will take a couple of weeks, plus I think it's best for some time to pass after my visit to Pittsburgh to avoid suspicion. Let me work on it, but for now we gotta talk about you."

"Me? What do you mean?"

"You're considering retiring, right?"

"Yeah. I'm fully vested and this job puts the wife through hell. Why?"

"With what you've done, I think you should retire soon. It's not right still enforcing the law after all this, don't you think?"

"I'm a damned good cop, Zack. You can take that to the bank. What I did doesn't bleed into the rest of my life. The thought crossed my mind, though. I intended to tell Nan I was gonna pack it in at the end of the year. I guess I can move that timetable up."

"Then I want you to come work with me. We would make a hell of a team, and you'd be able to work only when you want to. And with all your police contacts, it would be a big boost for my new agency."

"Are you sure? I mean, I'd like to think about it, but I like the idea."

"You think about it, but don't announce anything about retiring until I come to you with new information on the Mike Peters case, okay?"

"Yeah, okay for now. Just work fast."

"Uncle Liam, you and I are the only ones who know what really happened to that asshole. It's gonna stay that way. Sheila, Caitlyn, Aunt Nancy, and anyone else who cares about the details is gonna think he was taken out by drug dealers and we'll have evidence in the file that points in that direction. This will be a dead-end case about a kid nobody misses or cares about."

"Okay. If you think so. And quit with the 'uncle' thing. It's just Liam, all right?"

I chuckled at his request. "Then you quit the Zachariah thing. Anyway, if things go the way I want, within a year I'm gonna want to call you Dad. Is that good with you?"

"Son, you have no idea how good I am with that."

We embraced as two men who had an unusual set of bonds tying us together. I was gonna fix this the best I could. If things went as planned, our guilt would go to our graves with us.

*****

I was going to need help with my plan, and my buddy in Pittsburgh was best for the job. I called the next day.

"Hey, Slick. How'd you like a payin' gig?"

"Zackie! Whatta ya got goin'?"

"In about three weeks, could you drive to Allentown for a day? I'll cover all expenses, and pay you day rate in cash under the table."

"What do you need me to do?"

"Pretty simple. I need a guy no one knows to sit in a bar and drink for an hour. Are you up for that?"

"Throw in a good meal, and I'm your man!"

We set the date, and the plan was ready. Fortunately, it was simple as hell.

*****

Caitlyn and Aunt Nancy arrived home eight days later. The night they arrived, Liam included me when he took them to the best steakhouse in town. The three of them made it clear--I was family from here on in.

Not wanting to waste time, I asked Caitlyn out for the following night.

Liam and I agreed on what we'd tell Caitlyn and Nan. To keep it simple, it would be the truth except for Mike Peters' actual demise.

*****

Romance was on the top of my mind for our first date, but it was also the time to convince Caitlyn to accept the story the way Liam and I molded it. The hard part was that I was going to do something I never wanted to do again--lie to Caitlyn. The tricky part would be telling her about Sheila.

Caitlyn and I had dinner, then took a drive to a park where we could talk.

"You wanna get out and take a walk?"

"I, uh, can--"

I shut Vickie down and looked at Caitlyn wondering why she was having trouble talking. Her eyes looked like she'd seen a ghost. With hands and arms shaking, looking cramped and distorted, my memory took me back to when I saw a nurse in Saigon fighting the same reaction. Caitlyn was terrified.

"You okay? What's wrong?"

I tried to hold her and she was stiff as a board. She shook her head and was trying to get me to understand something.

"N-n-n-no. S-s-stay here."

"Okay, okay. We can stay in the truck."

That seemed to calm her down a little. I held her for a good fifteen minutes before she relaxed enough to speak.

"S-sorry."

"Has this happened before?"

"Y-yeah. Can we g-go home?"

"Your house?"

She nodded, and I turned the key to start Vickie. The bench seat made it easy to hold her and keep her steady while I drove. Her breathing was still labored, but I could feel the tension leaving her body the closer we got to her house. By the time we arrived, she seemed almost normal.