All Comments on 'The King of Shapes Ch. 01'

I liked the start of the story. Capturing with the first sentence. Sadly i was disappointed from the moment of him getting up after tackling the girl. Am the talking between them about themselves compressed into a few sentences. Missed chance for backgrounds to make the characters more interesting. The way she talked also felt odd. First she is embarrassed of her swearing then just does no problem. Kind of hard to believe. The sex scene needs work too. I felt like reading a magical medeival story until the sex scene. It felt like ripped out of a porno, not really embedded in the world built beforehand.

I am no writer but loved the start. Do with my opinion as you wish.