All Comments on 'The King's Wish'

Excellent first offering. You have a flair for telling a story and conveying passion. Hope to see more soon.

You have a good story, but you should seriously consider asking someone to edit in the future.

Your constant use of ellipses (...) is frustrating and distracting. It breaks the flow and ellipses themselves are almost always unnecessary (especially in your story).

When describing one of the maids you break away to say [Google Liv Tyler] (etc) - instead, take a moment to describe her with your words, few people are interested in stopping in their reading of erotica to google what someone looks like.

You also make several vocabulary mistakes (excepting instead of accepting) and spelling mistakes, which an editor could help with.

Keep up the great creativity, but please get an editor or two!

A good enough story, but it doesn't really belong in non consentual.

Also:

" And it doesn't hurt that he is just twenty five years of age!! This making him twenty years your junior. "

Which would make her 45? It's not easy today for a woman of 45 to conceive, so not very likely that she would have been chosen for the royal baby making purpose.

This was like a porn version of a disney movie... I liked it. The queen was a hysterical and diabolical villain. I agree with others that said the story could be tightened up a little.

I very much enjoyed it. This story is a refreshing change from some of the typical story-lines. I did struggle with the changing POV on a couple of occasions, changing from third to first person with no transition. Even without an editor simply reading the story out loud to yourself can help you with this. It will sound awkward to you.

Very well done. Great story!