All Comments on 'The Laundry Room Pt. 01'

Dropping details of a character's physical appearance so inelegantly is akin to rattling off sports stats. It's lazy storytelling, and more often than not it's unnecessary. Just don't do it. If those details must be given, reveal them more naturally throughout the story, and leave some things to the reader's imagination. I didn't read past the first two paragraphs because of the lazy writing, and I found the main character's voice to be annoying.