All Comments on 'The Lazy Lemon Sun Ch. 03'

>You're still seeing it all through your prism, Mark. You need to see it through my prism, the way I viewed it. I'm in an arranged marriage that was supposed to already be dead.

Fuck your prism you self absorbed cunt. Just because you accidentally started to like him doesn't make the previous deception less malicious. That and "I just thought--we all just thought--that you were trying to win me over for real. " assuming it was that and not that he actually liked her is a self report on her intelligence. Making your female lead have a post lobotomy level IQ sure was an interesting choice.

She is so full of it!! It’s all about daddy’s run for office. Just let her leave for good! Wonder when he figures out it’s his nephew not his brother

Good GOOD story

An actual writer, but still, falling for the same traps the hobbyists do: changing the story from first to third person, or v.v., is always a bad idea.

You missed so many of the i's and he's i lost count. Does not diminish the writing, but does the reading, a bit. Just sayin..

Wow just wow.

Надеюсь автор не собирается простить ее измену? Это же бред! Если она считала, что они оба знают о договоре, то могла открыто поговорить с ним и сказать, что нашла себе парня. С человеком который знает о договоре не скрывают измену, да это тогда и не является изменой! А если она сомневается в его осведомленности, то это уже измена!

I liked this part. I don't think Mark was expecting her to fight back, but here she was fighting back, and wanting to save her marriage. Now she just needed to convince Mark that she still wanted to stay married.

Great story and superb stry telling. 5 stars all the way. Sorry need to go to the next chapter.

Well that set everything up to be epic. but also made it clear that someone or more are going to get hurt whatever happens.

I don’t know if you were trying for a little redemption arc for Whitney from the Damp Gray Gone but her little bit in this one makes her seem more reprehensible than the original story. The cop is her hero? The one that openly admits that if her husband hadn’t put his ass on the line, he never would have found her and she’d be dead? Gross.

Slowly turning into a cuck tale. That’s why l previously scored this 3/5.

The story nosedived.

Why would Mark believe her?

Why?

The last comment is about Mark lowering himself. This isn't about being an angel, the story is meant to be about believable human beings.

Twelve years later, I doubt the author is reading our comments, and no doubt if you have read the story so far you have your own opinions, but I think this is one hell of a story.

If stayed true to himself and not had sex he cold have said to Sandy "Well I did not stray". He can't do that now and thus he lowered himself to her level. That was just stupid. That point marred this story so far for me.

It's getting sad but a great story worthy of 5⛤. Wonder which way it's going to go

Top writer in full flight.

I lowered my score on this one, as she knew it was an arranged marriage, but didn't tell him except in jokes. She also allowed her friends to disrespect him and make jokes about him following her around like a puppy dog. He tried to show her he loved her, but she brushed it off, because she was seeing someone else...actually several someone else's. She really wanted to love him, but knew it was all arranged and was supposed to be a dead marriage.

this is what you get when the great unwashed self righteous, elitist, corrupt,politicians and wealthy scum (ceo's, coo's etc) decide, plot, scheme and collude that what they want is good for them and maybe the serfs will benefit too but in the end who cares about the hoi palloi, as long as i [the great corruptor, narcissist and ignorer of the rule of law] get what i "the greatest gift to me and humanity" wants. To all lesser beings, bow, worship my greatness and submit to my tyranny, you may benefit, you may not but resist and you will be destroyed. what a great democrap party we have now.

amen to "griscom" and "ramaza", and to sunnyu2, go away and fap in your moms cellar. rk

[02.04.23]

Looove the inclusion of the Warren Zevon bit...as a biiig Zevon fan!

11/10 Desperadoes Under the Eaves!!!!!

This is bullshit, is this idiot allowing this hoe to manipulate him again?! Has he not learnt anything

Another 5, of course.

On a side note, why do American authors write “ he brought his wife with”, “do you want to go with”

Instead of he brought his wife with him or do you want to go with me ?

Is it a new trend ?

Very good, really good story crappy comments. LP

What I genuinely hate about this story is all the Bullshit. Married for 5-6 years and supposedly she only strayed 5-6 times late on in the marriage? Even though her friends all knew it was an arranged marriage and routinely mocked him laughing along with the Wife. Bullshit if she doesn't respect you and this woman had ZERO RESPECT she was screwing around every chance she got.

Her we are ten years after this was written and in the real world, just like this story, it is always the husbands fault. Nothing has changed, it has gotten worse. Wife plays around, blame to husband, and she is praised for being empowered. Husband plays around, she files for divorce and blows him up in court, and everybody says you go girl…. The mc is indecisive, and approaches everything is a slow, inactive and halting way. No way this passive personality is a lawyer.

Most overrated story on here. Boring

Not going to bother with the rest. She blames him and she fucks around but its his fault? Nope. Om guessing this will be a raac. Hate those stories as just makes the man to be a complete spineless wimp. 2*

@Ramaza: "You are a very good writer, but I must say, if I was Mark, I would burn it all down, her and his parents, and tossing Sandy in that fire just for good measure, she can’t ever be trusted further than what you can throw her."

Double ditto.

Wonderful writing; tremendous storyteller! Five stars ⭐️ for sure. Thanks, Rehnquist!

You are a very good writer, but I must say, if I was Mark, I would burn it all down, her and his parents, and tossing Sandy in that fire just for good measure, she can’t ever be trusted further than what you can throw her.

I agree with the comments below about her trying to blame him while she's out fucking around. A pathetic excuse...

Gets better and better!

Jim

Way to convinient a plot fkr a misunderstanding.

This is where you lost me, in terms of believability. She basically says everything is his fault for doing his job, while she was out spreading her legs. Okay, common thread in this genre, but in this one you have him agree. Nope, sorry. Happy little cuckie soaking up the abuse and thanking her, and their families, for it.

It's still going good, still interested in where it's going... :-)

It's an incredibly well-written story, but this conversation with Ferlin did make me laugh:

"Problem is, single women in their thirties are usually one of two things: Divorced or just not marriage material."

-

Why on earth would he date women in their thirties?

Mark is a talented singer/musician/songwriter... hasn't Ferlin heard of groupies? Attractive girls in their early-twenties would be throwing themselves at Mark after every performance. He could screw a dozen hot young women every month!

-

Then on top of that, he's also a successful lawyer with a huge win under his belt. He can make a ton of money following his legal career, with the music bringing in a bunch of extra cash now the famous musicians have taken him under their wing. The idea that a handsome, fit, successful (and soon to be rich) guy like this would even think about settling down with a woman in her thirties is laughable. This guy is a 1%er... the cream of the dating crop. Frankly, Sandy and Rebecca are already well past their prime, and he should've been looking for a much younger woman to start a family with.

Second time through. You really are a very talented writer.

Mark and Sandy are both fairly innocent if you take their side in to consideration, she cheated and thats horrible but I can understand her pov. They both dont have a future together tho, the fake marriage, the cheating and backstabbing, they both have to move on and I hope they both have a happy ending.

What a great story! No matter how often I read it, the impact is still powerful.

Your writing is very good, how you come up with how you're characters are thinking and justifying their actions is really good. Like Sandy really trying to justify her treatment of him just because she thought he knew about the arrangement. How could anyone be that dense? Three or more years together? They never really talked about it? Making him the puppy dog with his favorite toy, Sandy? There again you him that niggling thought about some the things she was say that he didn't quite understand. Very good. Is he he going to take her back? Was she convincing enough in her "look at it my way" speech? Love it!

Wow What a great author!

Burninglove

He really is a clueless dolt. How, as a lawyer, could he NOT know about not being intimate with a client, how could he not understand the basic ethics of his profession?

That was a huge mistake in the plot.

You have painted your MC as a fool, NOT a savvy lawyer. Now he will punish his estranged wife for being honest in her love

You are now 3/5

I’ll read on

I think she's full of shit

Five. The only problem I have is with me and the speed of things

yep, here we go. the come to Jesus. ayup. still great.

This is a very good story that keeps getting better. Can't wait for the next chapter.

Very good story. In my opinion; Sandy deceived and definitely cheated (6 times!!).

No reconciliation PLEASE!!!

Story is anything but boring. Even without the coming showdown with Sandy and his family, this is a great story. It reads like a John Grisham or Greg Ike’s novel to me.

In my opinion I've never been so bored reading a story. Thought it'd get better but it got more boring as I read it. Usually I'd finish the series but I think I'll die of boredom if I carry on. I'll give you a 2* as the grammar was ok. Actually I'll give you a 3* as this might be a good sleep remedy. Lol.

CHUCK

So far, the story is great but what does the illegitimate child have to do with how he got screwed in his marriage??

Dude, All The Best by John Prine!

I’m divorced and that song sums it up. You’re awesome writer. But just had to give you kudos for recognizing that song.

Kappa

the premise needs to be believed. everything follows from it. it's your weakest link.

i agree with mark. she never talked to him about the 'arrangement'. it's not something you ONLY make the rare and infrequent vaguely worded subtle jokes about.

everything else fits. but that one link is brittle. you didn't sell me on it. she cannot justify her cheating.

because MY perspective is the two MOST important pieces in this arranged marriage would at least mention it to each other ONCE. I'm not buying the, 'i thought you knew' angle. it is a thing you mention.

I can see where this is going. She cheated on him, like a lot of these kind of stories, he's gonna go back to her. Forgive her infidelity and everything is a ok. I'm not going any farther. 2 stars for the first 2 chapters.

I realized that I had read these before several years ago and am enjoying the second reading. You are an excellent writer!

Baton Rouge Cajun Guy!

Very well done. Great story and even better writing.

3 wows and 5*.

Let's try something new! Let's make her cheating all his fault. Oh Wow.

For an annulment based on fraud and named their fathers as co conspiritors

fucking tacular.

I am enjoying this so much, having a terrible time stopping at a reasonable time to get enough sleep at night. Love the characters and plot. Please come back and write some more.

Whole heartily agree. She cheated. She never communicated. She actually realized he didn't know. This chapter seems to leave out the previous point that when discussing with her after the big case, Mark said that he tried to do things with her during that time after the first three months and she wasn't around. Also her marriage must have meant next to nothing if she waited around a whole 5 minutes and didn't try to call him. It seems like she never tried to call him during the long hours, or stop by the office to check on him, or ask around, or bring a meal to him, or any of a number of things. No it was just so much easier for her to be selfish and then cheat.

No the marriage didn't mean as much to her as she said it did, otherwise she wouldn't have done it. She destroyed the trust. When it got difficult she bailed. Just because he loves her does not mean they should get back together. There will always be doubt in the back of his mind, especially when it gets tough.

I really hope he doesn't take her back, she still cheated on him, and was apparently incapable of communicating to a ludicrous degree.

You're one of the best writers on this site, seriously. This is probably the third time I've read this one and it still pulls me in and holds me there. Thanks for submitting. Sure wish you'd start cranking out some more.

Oh yeah - guess I'd better say something about the story. I'd dump Sandy; just continue on with the divorce and if what she's saying is true, that she now loves him for real, then they can start over after the divorce is final. It's the only way he'll ever know for sure if she loves him. After the divorce and election, there would be no political reasons for her to pretend. If she's still trying at that point, then she's probably telling the truth. Thanks again.

I'm loving it. Don't let the naysayers get you down. This story has all the elements required to have it made into a movie. This is a great story, pure and simple. Thank you for giving it to us.

In the "Damp Gray Gone", Whitney wants Luke back but knows she can't have him. Now history is revised and she didn't ever love him?? WTF???

I've known people like Mark and Sandy's families; everything they do - EVERYTHING - is weighed and measured against how they think it will be perceived by the "little people", those pesky voters. Perception is everything to a political animal, perception rules all their actions.

Sandy believed he was having an affair rather than spending his time trying to get the guy out of prison for one simple reason; that's what she would have done. Cheaters think everyone cheats. In Sandy's case, she was cheating because she didn't care about her marriage all that much and got bored, and she incorrectly assumed that he didn't care either. And I don't really believe her when she says she thought he knew the marriage was a farce. In the six years they were married, she would have brought something up about it sooner or later, unless she knew it couldn't be discussed with him. She'd obviously discussed their marriage with the parents, didn't she ever wonder why Mark was never included on those discussions?

I would still get divorced because Mark knows what kind of pressure is being brought to bear on Sandy. He has to know that both sets of parents are pushing her, probably frantically, to get up there, eat crow, and do whatever it takes to get Mark to drop the divorce and move back home before the press finds out. There's too much at stake politically for them to leave him alone. Sandy could easily be trying to pull the wool over his eyes again, there's no way for Mark to tell - so I hope he continues with the divorce.

Love the story, great writing. Thanks for putting it out here for us! As usual, 5 stars.

How can some commenters fail to see what the author has written. Sbrooks103x sounds like he didn't even comprehend the story's plot. I think that the plot is very believable. That Sandy thought her husband was having an affair during the trial with some law firm support associate maybe a law student who her husband was working with so she thought now was the time to think of her own well being. She wasn't getting laid by her husband at that time. She thought that they both knew that the marriage was a shame and that it would end sometime after presidential election. This very plausible. Wake up sbrooks and smell the roses!

Lawyers aren't allowed to sleep with clients? But he wasn't her client when they slept together!

She couldn't check with his bosses, find out that he really WAS working on a big case?

He said he'd be home by one or two and she leaves at five past two? I don't remember when this takes place, but don't they have cell phones? And she had a dinner date all lined up?

Her story is all very convincing and self-serving, but I din't remember it that way. If she has any real love for him she'll let him go, just as a good fuck you to both families for what they did!

Your attempts at making us readers like cheats are way too blatant. She "assumed" he knew. She never did once try to get it out in the open, did she? She had 3 years to own up. She just decided to shove everything under the rug and hope that he wouldn't trip on it. I really hope that this isn't a forced reconciliation story because I really like the way you write.

"You need to see it through my prism,"

I disagree, whatever she might have thought, the fact was that she cheated on him. That is a pretty damaging act, something no explanation can erase, it seems like she didn't even try to investigate whether he was lying about the case, before she found another man to sleep with.

This just keeps getting better! Editing can use a little polish, but it's a great story!

Five stars - I want to read the last chapter....

I’m not so sure his mom doesn’t know. She obviously doesn’t have many moral compunctions where political expediency is concerned, she might very well have gone along to maintain her social standing.

Minor point - Rebecca unzipped her shorts, then her jeans fell to the floor. Now, I realize there are jean shorts, but people usually say that up front.

not sure I would consider her as whoring herself out for daddy. She agreed to do it because she began to think differently about him after their Christmas Day interlude. It is just curious why she didn't talk openly with him.

five stars. She definitely comes across as credible and appropriately remorseful. It's hard to not see her perspective.

Congrats. Brilliant writing. Five out of five. I wouldn't change a thing. (And I'm picky) Is Sandy telling the truth now? She cheated on him. Can he forgive her? Is Rebecca hiding something? I really like these characters. If I didn't have a stupid job I could keep reading and find out. But it will have to wait. Cheers. Steve

Whatever he did in Chapter 4 will be good. Like Doctime, I'm a romanticist. Rehnquist could take this wherever he wants, after all, it's just a story. The real question here is, who does he really love? We'll see. As for the cheating, he had to know that she was because she was gone for extended periods of time with no real explanation, unless he's stupid or was in the greatest denial in history. In spite of that, they now both admit that the ensuing three years were the best of their lives. Sure, he should have confronted her after hearing the parents' conversation, but then, we wouldn't have a story, would we?

she went along with it. she was a tool for her family's ambitions. She allowed herself to be a whore for her father's campaign. She knew about his family's greed. She knew about her own family's avarices. In other words, she was a political prostitute.

He also knew what it meant to be a man who actually had cajones. And yet, he seems to be going along with the party (family) line.

Please, please, please, let him become a musician with a conscience, and a wife who loves him as a man, not someone's son.Not, the heir to a political dynasty.

please.

Great story. Enjoyed tremendously.

Your stories are complex and convoluted. I feel like I am on a stretch rack. I am torn and twisted. Just like you planned. I am not even sure what I want to happen in Chap. 4. GOOD JOB!

Time to find out why she's never been married. Is she marriage material or just the good time had by a select few. As much as Sandy was his lifelong love, she still chose to spread her legs for someone else while she was his wife.....no excuses accepted. He needs to search his heart . The truth is she readily accepted her parents arrangement. That she thought he knew was bullshit. She knew from an early age he had strong feelings for her and all she could do was laugh at him behind his back......pretty hateful. We just don't know if Rebecca would be any better.

.... NOT EVEN FOR ONE "FUCKING" SECOND! "THINK ABOUT WHAT?" YOU ASK .... WHY, HAVING MARK TAKE SANDY, THE CHEATING, DISGUSTING, CUM BUCKET, WHORE WIFE BACK!!!

IT'S TIME TO BREAK AWAY FROM THE WHORE WIFE "APOLOGIST" CROWD REHNQUIST, GROW SOME BALLS & SHOW YOUR READERS YOU CAN "BURN THE BITCH"!!

Seems to have lost a little in this chapter. A reconciliation destroys the whole tale. One more chapter. We'll see...

Sandy is a Politician, it's their stock and trade to feed people dog crap and convince them it's ambrosia.

The final surprise might turn out to be that the boy he thinks is his brother will turn out to be his nephew, that his brother Steve will be the father. I am not sure if the time frame will fit and I did not feel up to checking this theory out, I will just read the 4th chapter.

I think that you are. Her refusal to confront him before the affair and communicate with him how she felt is beyond the pale. Instead of talking to him about the problem and telling him how she really feels she goes out and has an affair. Smart woman. She should have made sure he was in on "the plot" instead of just assuming he knew what was going on. She was a bitch to laugh at him with her girlfriends. That fact, more than the affair (which she SAYS she just stopped on her own) is good reason to never go back with her. I am afraid, Big R. that he will find out something about Rebecca which wounds his little sensibilities and he will end up with Sandy. I know this is just a story but I like them to turn out the way I wish them to, LOL.

Ok again great story with a couple spots with errors that slow the reading down a bit. This story is a couple years old now so you more than like have already figured it out.

roscovich said what I wanted to say so there you have it.

@ SELSTIM There are three answers!

1. When the commenters complain about the overcrowed cuck stories. The other camp answers with that: Those stories are fantasy stories.

So I write these stories are such fantasy stories, where the divorced husbands find second chance women quickly.

2. BTB stories haters accused the BTB stories misgynist stories, so the best defend is to write qickly found second chance women.

3. We readers prefer such stories, where the ex husbands find second chance women quickly. Because the stories are fantasy stories...............

In most of these stories the characters get a divorce and they're usually in their thirties, forties or fifties and end up getting remarried in a year or two or at least finding the right partner. Someone finally tells it like it really is. That and the fact nobody wants to go through the stress and pain of another divorce so they tend to be really careful. Great Sory

Very well written and excellent story. I have to admit though Mark is the dumbest smart guy in history! lol

What I appreciate most is the way you are obviously not comfortable with lewd description of sexual acts,as most of the writers on this site, and it makes it even more erotic. Together with one of the best users of language on this site makes you one superb author.

Thank you. Ross.

This is developing very nicely! I should be catching up on an assignment tonight but I'm hooked and I'm going to read another chapter!

You have reconnected the hero with a not very nice Sandy. Still, I Sandy feel knew about the Mark's devotion and love for her even when she preferred Stevie. I feel she never told Mark about the sham marriage because it would have ruined it for him and the parents. Everyone was worried he would not gave accepted the law career or the marriage based on a sham, so she did not tell him either. She joked and made all those facial impressions to make the marriage appear a joke but I think she was onto the fact he did not have a clue all along. I may be wrong because I haven't read ahead.

From what I am reading the part of his life he knows is sincere and real is where he is at now, playing music, meeting a new woman, and possibly teaching. I think Sandy blew it with the cheating and laughing at him for doting on and loving her. It took her too long to realize what she had all along. Story or no. After the cheating when she realizes Mark is a great lawyer and is worth being married to was too late to acknowledge him as special and not a laughing stock. Just the take of a simple reader who got caught up in a good romance filled with cheating, love, lying and heartbreak for a decent guy in love with a dream,

Now I will check to see if I am wrong with how the story should go....

can you delete a comment? I had actually just finished the 4th part, and accidently backed up to the end of the 3rd part and wrote my comment. Sorry about that.

When you started this story line, I could see him being set up, and even commented on it. But you brought it along so well, tying everything together, leaving me wanting more, wanting to see the senator reunited with his son, to see how he dealt with his shrew of a wife, and more. This became more than an erotic story,(I actually scrolled past the sex scenes), and became a story that I wanted to see how it ended. Bravo to a well written series.

Chapters 1, 2 and 3 - all fives. Looking forward to Chapter 4.

of this chapter I had a hard time not getting bored. Sorry but your protagonist has no drive at all, sorry but in real life he never ever would make a successful lawyer. His whole would crumbles around him and he is like "Oh well, lets play guitar until something happens". Just not confront your wife or try to find out what really happened, despite you actually know nothing about what went on there.

Then he gets a lawyer with no experience (oh sorry, years of being a prosecutor, very helpful in devorce law, not!) BECAUSE the case is straight forward. WHAT? You have a Senator, a Governor/Presidential Candidate and what else entangled in this mess, all of which have everything to loose and on top of that he hasn't the first clue about what his wife, which is the focal point in any divorce case, knew or didn't knew, did do or didn't do. Straight forward, my ass.

At least on page 4 the Story is back where it belongs and lets see what ch. 4 holds in store.

P.S.: Ok the Teddy/Nick music thing bored the hell out of me too but I concede that thats just me.

great story--just all of yours i have read

A story with an actual believable plotline, made more enjoyable by the rarity of such stories on Lit. Really enjoyable and lots of possible side stories that could be developed. A pleasure to read and to look forward to the next chapter

So many words written and traded back and forth but nothing seems fixed. This could be the mid-section of four or five different stories!

Unfortunately Mark does not sound or behave like a hot-shot lawyer. He would fit better as a good musician. Considering his nature, one wonders if any of the gals is truly right for him. He can never trust Sandy...

I’m completely encased in the story, so much so that I wondered how Mark knew that he had a brother. There was nothing mentioned in the filings or memo about the sex of the child.