All Comments on 'The Librarian Pt. 02'

Still don't like the switching between "he" and "I" when talking about the same person.

Otherwise I'm looking forward to part 3

Hot damn! This is great.

5

You've certainly got me hooked. Definitely looking forward to chapter 3.

Another story involving a highly trained combat specialist.

Why not have him win the goddamn billion dollar powerball lottery while you’re at it.

Is John/Mike going to end up with a TRUE soulmate? He sounds like he has been really been treated badly, by his ex-wife and her cronies. I'm hoping the John/Mike gets to have a great life with someone who really loves him. Your stories are always fun and interesting to read. Keep up the great work.

Enjoyed it.

Strange twist to an excellent part one. This part is so so and unrealistic in the whole set up.

Loved it. Hope all is going well for you know

So! We waited two months for two pages! What a crock!!!

Definitely worth the wait, looking forward to the next part

“ End of part 2; Part 3 coming. Believe me.” ugh

Great story! Don’t worry about the loving wives crowd, if they’re not complaining it means they don’t like you. Ha

If you want to feel good about your writing on this site then put the writing your story in the other areas. If you want ruthless feedback then you come here and get brutal feedback. You won't get better in the other areas but you'll get more love so it really depends what you are individually looking for, adulation or being a better writer.

I know you don't write for my pleasure, but my pleasure appreciates stories with less detail; that way, in my opinion, the story reads faster, things happen faster and the story is more enjoyable.

Nice continuation, Thanks for sharing. 1 request hwever, don't let the commie lawyer get away with just an arrest

What started out as a great story,just turned to ridiculous as he gets revenge takes off his CIA position .is on the run takes his life savings thentakes up with a truck driving couple. Tell them everything

Just outstanding! Can’t wait for next chapter!

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5 *****

You're doing fine, Bear! Love It! Bring it Home!

No thanks on part 3.

4 stars - it is an OK story - except for all the spy and grunt stuff - oh and the ra ra USA crap.

LT this is a great continuation to the story. It follows very well with your other writings. Good to see you back on the trail.

good, need more

A 5, but the devil is in the details. The 101st has regiments. In Vietnam days they were broken into semi autonomous battalions attached to brigades - e,g, 2-327 (read 2d battalion, 327 th Infantry) (mine btw).

Your technical research is pretty good but this was a soft ball.

You better bring bring that 3erd part quick or I'll...

...Hahaha, nothing I can do but wait with fingers crossed. :-)

Looking forward to part 3.

Just for the record, I always and I mean ALWAYS really enjoy your stories !!

"Her destruction was complete." - not even close....

Like where this is going… could be a very good series. Very much enjoying this story so far. Thank-you!

Great stuff! Minor editing problems I'm sure you don't care about, but really enjoyed the overall story arc. Little confusion on how much exposure his antics had on the national news. Did the news report just different events or is his face plastered all over? 5*

I am really looing forward to chapter #3.

Nice safe after the first chapter.

Looks to be going down here from here on out

Won't waste time telling you it was good. Just keep them coming. Thanks

Good story, good series. Ch 3 should be interesting, keeping his secrets in close proximity to law enforcement.

I was a little disappointed in his letter to Lorelei. She dIsn’t accept responsibility when blamed for Samantha’s death. Lorelei should have been forced to watch Samantha’s demise video. His boss would probably have made that happen.

awesome just rewards to the evil doers!

Really nice story. Not a “cliff hanger” but I really want to know where it goes. Keep it up Bear.

keep going please

Thanks for the new chapter Bear I hope all is well in your house hold

Great 2nd chapter. I'm loving this story...looking forward to the next chapter

5stars

SO FAR SO GOOD...CINCO ESTRELLAS!

Wow, that's some gooood writing there, ya huh. More please.

So far I have given you a 5 and a 1 - are you ready to start writing serious, well researched stories?

Really sure what to think.

Great story except for two things. First, the Chinese professor did not suffer nearly enough for killing his daughter. Second, who wants spinach with a steak and baked potato?

You earned a 5 star rating just for the .50 cal to the nuts. Talk about ouch but some well deserved ouch. Interesting direction the story is going so far and look forward to the next chapter.

Bad guys are too bad to kill they need to be punished. A shot to the nuts and both knees and ternicuts so he loses both legs. We are way to lenient with enemies of our country.5 stars

5 stars, I've been watching for a new chapter. Now I am again...

Bear, I enjoy your stores, but I need to nitpick on this one. Hiram, the truck driver, says he was in "Viet Nam, 1971-1973. 101st Airborne. 1st Lt., Combat Battalion 12." He was not. I was, and I know that the 101ST left in early 1972. At that time in the war, as the US involvement was winding down rapidly, it is extremely unlikely that his tour of duty lasted more than a year. Finally, the reference to "Combat BN 12" is, I think, incorrect. All of this was a long time ago, so I am not certain of the complete TO&E of the 101ST, but I believe they had no such battalion organization. Tanglosax

Thanks to continuing with the interesting story in spite of life's setbacks and issues...

Careless writing, jumpy POV. Proof-reading would have doubled my rating.

Two great chapters. I do worry that the third will be just a romance. All the bad guys (at least that we know} have been extinguished, the wife is gone, so what is left other than the Lovebirds playing matchmaker?

A bit too neat, yet the most important part is missing: What the fuck went wrong with the wife? How could a man this intuitive and perceptive have judged the wife so poorly. Drastic Martian Slut Ray plot fault. Great action. The motives and behaviors of the wife and daughter make absolutely No Sense. Neither of the stupid bitches ever met a handsome smooth man who wanted to seduce them? Yeah, not very realistic behaviors. But thanks for the effort.

Don't bother with part 3.

Enjoying the story, but a few nits. A ‘380’ is a .380 (.38 of an inch — actual a .357 bullet) or a 9mm Kurtz (a 9mm short). But I really want to see some guy transporting a .50Cal BMG rifle on his motorcycle. They are very heavy and very long. Usually they are used to stop vehicles, not to shoot people. The military first tried going to a .338 Lapua round, but have since then gone to a .300 Winchester Magnum for anti-personnel use. Also, ‘puling’ is ‘pulling’ — wouldn’t normally mention a typo or spelling error, but you used it several times, so I thought you might want a heads up.

Best,

PostScriptor

You have placed Hiram and Penelope's children so casually in all spheres of power and life that it is ridiculous. Judge for yourself: the security forces, the prosecutor's office, medicine, the press, education. Only one more son is missing - the vice-president of the city branch of a large bank. Or will Mary turn out to be a financial genius?

Interesting story!

Firecracker of a tale going here, looking fwd to the resolutiion.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I have to admit I expected more retribution. Just killing the one guy and maiming the other was too little in my book. Heck the female Lawyer just walked, ok I know the FBI have her but.......... The wife spreading her legs for a tennis pro how does that connect to the CCP? A lot of unanswered questions. Why murder the daughter? Sorry just seems like there are a lot of dangling threads. I mean it looks like in part 3 Mary and Mike will become truck drives and drive off into the sunset and Jasmine as a mascot. I did enjoy the story but as you can see have some questions.

IMHO one of your best. Let's see what happens to the guy who raped Mary...........

I'm hugely enjoying the story! Very entertaining. Minor quibble here. I did think it was a bit much for the cheating wife to be cheating for a year and half. This man is a trained CIA operative. Are you telling me he doesn't have the skill to recognize that his wife is cheating on him for a year and a half? I know he's on missions and such but these guys have serious skills as they have to in the espionage game. I highly doubt his wife could lie, and hide a secret like this for 1.5 years. My opinion of course. Look forward to more!

It always seems odd to me that people can't simply enjoy a story as it is written. I enjoyed the story so far.

Lorelei seems to have gotten off relatively unscathed, given her sins.... but I guess she feels badly. That is not nearly enough in my book, no real suffering.

The Lovebird’s have 5 children- three boys and two girls. Then it lists only four children including one son and three daughters.

@muskyboy - the story implied that the bitch mentally shut down. She effectively killed her own daughter. Realizing that can cause pretty bad mental damage, and hopefully in her case, it did.

I'm not in love with Penelope character, but then again I'm very anti-hippie.

For the author - you're writing at your own time/effort for our pleasure. No pressure. If you need to produce the work slower, nobody here will suffer any damage - write as much and as fast as you can and wish please. I'm deeply enjoying this story so far.

Extremely well written story from nearly every perspective. Yes, you've taken a view reasonable liberties from probability-you don't just walk away from the CIA, He wouldn't have divulged a good deal of the classified info and if he wanted to dissappear he would not have joined up with the Livebirds. Also, tech mistake, current firearms use magazines, not clips.-which are fine with me. LHe did worse than kill Loreli. She'll serve 20 years in a Fed supermarket which is truly a consignment to hell. IF she survives this and gets released she'll have zero financial assets, her looks will be gone and will have no way to make a living. She'll have no social support net so, again, will be released into another living hell to, most likely, committed suicide to finally escape. VERY fitting revenge.

GREAT STORY!

Great story, love the story line

Thank you for sharing

This could be expanded into a romance novel.

Going with five stars on this engrossing segment. Unusual for me. Looking forward to the conclusion.

JPB NOT BOB

5 kids...but then three sons and 3 daughters? Lol

Really well woven story!!