The Lilac Society Ch. 03

Of course I didn't sleep that night. I replayed the scene, over and over, imagining that I was again kissing Lauren's foot. I could still practically feel the bare flesh of her instep, the side of her arch, the curve below her ankle against my lips. Simultaneously disgusted with myself and fascinated at what I'd done, I was discombobulated. I'd cover my face with the pillow, wincing in genuine embarrassment at the memory, then smile, proud that I'd done it. I was sort of horrified at what was happening to me, how these submissive feelings were overtaking me, intensifying. On top of that, I was seriously turned on.

The problem was I could do nothing about it. Lauren had ordered me not to have an orgasm. I needed to masturbate, needed to get off, but I wasn't allowed. This was seriously messed up.

It wasn't like she would know. Or would she? The way she apparently had a network of spies everywhere watching me seriously creeped me out. But even if she wouldn't, I couldn't do it. This was real; it was something I'd wanted forever. I had to do things right. I had to obey.

Oh god, she expected to take away my private masturbation privileges? How sick was that? Even as the thought came to me, however, I felt guilty for thinking that way about Lauren, and remembered what she had said about me already being her slave. I realized that I kind of liked the fact that she was bold enough to demand so much of me, that she was taking away everything, absolutely everything, then wondered what on earth was wrong with me for liking this sort of denial. These thoughts led to feeling proud of the fact that I'd degraded myself before her, naked flat on the floor, kissing her foot, then realizing that even if I was allowed to cum right now, I wouldn't even be doing it while thinking about any sort of sex. I'd just be doing it while thinking about exactly what I'd done this afternoon, kissing Lauren's foot.

I was rock hard now and needed it so bad but I wasn't allowed, dear god I wasn't allowed. This is diabolical I thought, and I whined, practically screamed, twisting the sheets in my hands until I was a restless wreck, never really falling asleep all night, but eventually I fell into a kind of half-daze about an hour before the alarm went off, drifting in and out.

In my exhausted nearly asleep state the most prominent image in my mind was that of Lauren hours earlier, face just above mine, serious stare into my eyes, I own your sex, Chris, I own your sex, foot taste and foot texture still on my lips, foot scent in my nostrils, hard carpet pressure still permeating the entire front of my body, Lauren's voice wafting in and out of my consciousness, you ARE my slave, already, try to come to terms with being inferior, to accept it, a sort of half-waking sexually frustrated hypnosis until finally the harsh buzz of the alarm snapped me out of it and I faced the exhausted stupor of morning.

The final month of the spring semester was both exhilirating and excruciating. I lived for the sound of Lauren's voice over the phone receiver, any orders she had for me, any task I could perform for her. Every chore was a privilege, something to bring me closer to her. Over the phone, Lauren rationed every word.

"Slave, laundry, now." Click.

"Need a homework check." Click.

"My roommate's gone today. Our room will be clean by 3, slave." Click.

"Car wash. The works." Click.

This last command didn't even require stopping by to see Lauren in person. She'd given me a key, and all I had to do was pick up her car, drive it to the car wash, scrub it for hours, and return it to the lot. I was doing far more serving her than interacting with her. If I was summoned into her room at any time, and she was alone, Lauren would usually have me greet her by making me get on my knees, and giving her one long kiss to the tip of her shoe, or her sock if she wasn't wearing shoes. I'd yet to kiss her bare foot since that first incredible encounter. What I had done was work, and then work some more.

Meanwhile, I was trying to get the hang of sleeping with my hands on the outside of the covers. Some nights I wanted to scream myself to sleep. At the library, doing homework, it took all my willpower not to let my hand wander down where it shouldn't lest I accidentally do what Lauren had forbidden. I flattened my palms against the tops of my thighs, rubbed them slowly back and forth in frustration, and breathed deeply. Sometimes, on the rare afternoon when I didn't need to study, and didn't have any work to do for Lauren, I'd just walk aimlessly around campus. Any alone time was dangerous.

But dear god I was horny. Every day serving Lauren, every terse conversation hearing her matter-of-fact bossy voice, every glance up at her condescending look down at me whenever I knelt before her simply sent me into orbit. I wanted, needed, release. I needed it so bad. So I plowed my frustration into deeper submission. I served Lauren twice as hard, if that was possible. I spent every minute thinking of how I could serve her better, perform every task more perfectly. Still, I kept replaying that day, lying naked at Lauren's feet, kissing her bare foot, over and over in my mind. It didn't help with my frustration. Sometimes when detailing her car, I'd give each pedal, where Lauren's right foot rests, and the spot on the carpet where her left foot rests, a quick, surrepetitious little kiss. Despite my frustration, I hoped perfect submission might lead to perfect obedience. But I could only hold out for so long.

It was Saturday night. One week before finals. I was lying in bed, trying to sleep. I think the frustration had gotten the best of me. I was again imagining that day, lying naked on the floor before Lauren, and the remembrance of it this time was especially vivid. I was overwhelmed, out of breath. Rolling over, I began acting it out, kissing, pretending I had Lauren's bare foot right there in front of me. So stiff, so erect. I had to reach down below myself to make an adjustment, and as soon as I made contact, right there, inside my pajamas, I felt sudden relief, a quick pulsing surge of it, that feeling I'd almost forgotten, along with a huge mess. A very short, overwhelming ecstasy all over giving way quickly to major disappointment in myself, and a dawning sense of dread.

I almost cried. I knew I had to call her. Part of me wanted to just pretend it hadn't happened, but oh god, this was the most real, the most honest, the most pure thing I'd ever been part of. I'd feel like a failure if I didn't tell her. I took a deep breath as I rolled over, holding back tears while I pulled back the elastic of my pajama bottoms and boxers, feeling the nasty result of my failure inside. I let out a loud, sad groan.

Whatever was coming, I had to take it. Whatever it was, I'd go through with it. I just hoped, and prayed, it wasn't the end. I did lie there for a few minutes, then took a few more to clean myself up, and a few more to gather my courage. Finally, I called, dreading hearing her voice.

"What is it, slave?"

"I - I'm sorry, Lauren. I disobeyed you."

A deep breath.

"I see. What exactly have you done?"

"I had an orgasm without your permission, Lauren."

A long pause. I could hear Lauren sigh long and deep into the phone, then almost whine, in a way that sounded like 'oh dear god no.' Another long pause.

"Well, Chris."

She paused again. It had been a long time since she had called me by my actual name.

"Obviously I'm extremely disappointed, and very, VERY angry."

"I'm so very sorry, Lauren."

"It's a little too late for that now, slave. I'll need to make some calls tonight. For now, you are NOT to leave your room, except to use the restroom on your own floor. We will be by to pick you up VERY early tomorrow. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Lauren."

I wondered what was going on.

"Chris?"

"Yes, Lauren?"

She sounded different. She wasn't in command-giving, condescending mode.

"This - this isn't going to be easy. OK?"

"OK, Lauren."

"Tomorrow morning. Very early. Clear?"

"Yes, Lauren." Click.

I didn't sleep. Of course I didn't. I lay on my bed, watched the clock, paced around, sweated, and wondered what in the hell the morning would hold. "We?" Whatever was going to happen to me, I knew it wouldn't be pleasant. I was a nervous mess of sweaty energy.

I'd planned to get dressed around 5:30 or so, so I'd be ready for whatever was coming when Lauren arrived. She'd said "very early," after all. The first sign I had no idea what I was in for was the knock on my door at 4:22. I opened it to see Lauren and another girl standing there. I was still wearing only the shorts and thin t-shirt I sleep in, and was barefoot. Lauren spoke, firmly.

"Come with us."

She acted as if I wouldn't have time to get dressed, so, strange as it felt, and it felt incredibly strange, I just answered and followed along.

"Yes, Lauren,"

Letting the door close behind me, I realized a second too late that my keys were locked in my room with my wallet and all identification. All I had were the very few clothes I was wearing. I followed Lauren and the other girl, wondering where we were going. Lauren wore pink shorts, a long-sleeve t-shirt, and boots - those stylish rain boots with green and blue rubber soles, and leather uppers. The other girl, also attractive, was dressed similarly, preppily and prepared. I felt seriously weird following them out as if I'd just gotten out of bed.

We walked through the thankfully deserted halls, past the front desk manned by a lone sleepy freshman, to a waiting car, where yet another girl was behind the wheel. Lauren motioned for me to get in the back seat on the passenger side. She sat in the rear, next to me. All inside, the four of us rode through the darkness in silence.

We left campus, then left town, then drove who knows where. I had no idea where we were. The car was meandering somewhere out in the country. The drive seemed to go on forever. For the most part, Lauren remained still. I don't think she ever looked at me. Peering into the darkness, she'd occasionally sigh. Sometimes she stared straight ahead. Once I saw her biting her lip. The two girls in the front said nothing, and never turned around.

After about forty-five minutes, we turned into a long grassy drive, in the middle of nowhere. It was still dark, so we rode slowly over large bumps. At one point, we turned off onto a side drive, two tire tracks, and followed them up to a clearing. The driver suddenly cut the engine; the stillness was eerie, and I felt suddenly terrified.

Everyone's doors opened, and each of the young women started getting out. Lauren looked at me briefly, and spoke.

"Out."

I quickly, very meekly replied, hearing my voice tremble.

"Yes, Lauren."

My bare feet hit the tall grass and were immediately soaked in dew. After I stood, I started to close the car door, but Lauren, who had come around to my side, stopped me.

"No, Chris. Your clothes stay here."

Oh god. What the hell.

"Yes, Lauren."

I took off my shirt and set it on the car seat. Then I stripped off my shorts and underwear in one motion, and set them on top of my shirt, then closed the car door. Oh my god, if I thought I'd felt naked the last time in front of Lauren, I was realizing that had been nothing. Suddenly I'd been stripped, outdoors, in front of not just Lauren, but two of her friends who were standing slightly uphill waiting impatiently for me, all of them preparing to do god-knows-what to me. My only cover was darkness, and I had a feeling that would be taken away soon.

I followed Lauren and the others up the hill, every step in the tall dewy grass a strange sensation, occasionally landing painfully on a sharp twig or rock, making each and every one scary in the dark. I understood why the girls were all wearing some sort of boots. It must be getting close to dawn, but the sounds of night still ruled. Crickets, mostly, with an occasional owl. Toward the top of the hill, I could make out against the black of the sky the outline of an old barn. It soon became obvious that it was our destination.

One of Lauren's friends opened the large door, just slightly, and we all crept in. A light switch was thrown, and the interior suddenly blazed like daytime. Bright overhead lights down the center revealed an aisle between two rows of stalls, about fifteen feet wide, formed of hard packed dirt. Overhead was a series of beams and pulleys. And in the middle of all this, I stood in the bright light, feeling more naked than ever.

One of the friends, a dark-haired young woman, quickly walked to one of the stalls and opened the door. Entering the stall briefly, she returned with some sort of wooden-block and rubber contraption. As she did, Lauren ordered me to walk down the center of the aisle, to the middle of the barn. The dark-haired girl stopped in front of me, holding this contraption. She looked right into my eyes. She was actually very pretty - long brown hair, soft brown eyes - but right now, she looked very intimidating. She spoke to me, matter-of-fact, but firm.

"Put your left wrist through here.."

She indicated an opening between part of a large rubber tension thing, thick as a belt. Oh my god, I was shaking. I was terrified. She was just staring at me, naked, and waiting for me to obey, and who knows what in the hell this was? She was so pretty but serious and her voice sounded so soft but so strict. I could hardly breathe, but finally managed to calm myself down a bit.

I obeyed her. When I did so, she started turning some sort of large screw on the wooden blocks around the band and it started tightening on my wrist, fast.

"And the other..."

She indicated that my other wrist should go on the other side. I was scared, but again, obeyed. Again, she tightened down my right wrist, then again tightened both, so that both my wrists were locked tightly in a single wooden block. Now, I started breathing extremely hard. At this point, I got really scared.

"Ready for the cra-ane!"

The young woman who had bound my wrists yelled in a surprisingly cute, sing-song voice to the other girl, who was standing by a controller. I looked up, and saw a hook mounted above me start descending. When it reached my eye level, the brown haired young woman reached up for it, and connected it, somehow, to the large wooden block surrounding my wrists.

"Oh ka-ay!"

The hook started rising, taking both my arms with it. In a panic, I let it pull my arms above my head, then felt my elbows and shoulders sort of pop as I was lifted off the ground. I felt my toes grasping for the dirt, but I continued to rise, pulled by the overhead crane, until my feet were at least a full foot and a half above the ground. Breathing hard in confusion, my whole body began to spin slowly around. What the hell was about to happen? I'd rotated so that I was facing the door we'd come through, and facing the other of the two young women, a blonde in a ponytail who was standing right in front of me. She grabbed my sides to stop me from spinning. I wondered where Lauren had gone.

This woman knelt down and carefully fixed a similar sort of wood and rubber contraption around both of my ankles, holding them together, tightened it, and hooked it to a chain that she must have clipped to some sort of anchor in the ground. I couldn't see it from where I was hanging, extremely uncomfortably, quickly becoming painfully. Lauren's two friends made some adjustments to the blocks, and chains, and hooks, checked exactly how I was hanging, then gave the crane a tap, jolting me up and pulling my body tighter. Finally, they just stood beside me, one on each side, and waited. Even in the cold pre-dawn air, I could feel sweat dripping down my sides. Eventually, they both took me by my sides, and slowly turned me around.

On the opposite side of the barn, the door was wide open. In the distance, the sun was just beginning to make itself known over the horizon. A few tendrils of pink and orange shone in the distant sky. I took a deep breath.

From a stall on the left side of the barn, Lauren emerged. In her right hand, she was holding something wrapped in a wide coil - something dark, and menacing. She walked toward me, stopped, and let the thing unravel - a thick black leather whip, the most intimidating bullwhip I could've possibly imagined. As she held it by just the handle and let the length of the whip drop, the thin, tapered end of it just barely touched the dust of the floor, dancing there as it bounced. Lauren looked at me sternly.

My breathing fell apart - I caught myself whimpering, scared, gasping for breath in short little irregular bursts, already terrified and coming undone. Lauren walked closer, holding the whip up off the ground, wrapping the end of it in her left hand, then stopping just in front of me, looking up at me with a fierce look on her face.

"Chris. Slave. I can't begin to tell you how dissapointed I am that you disobeyed me. You NEVER ejaculate without my permission. You know this. Right now, I'm going to punish you. I'm going to punish you harder than you've ever imagined being punished. Remember that you're a real slave, Chris. This isn't one of your fantasy punishments. This is real. This whipping is going to remind you that the body you have - it belongs to me, Chris. Not you."

With that, she walked around me, leaving me alone, to wait.

A whispered voice.

"Remember, Lauren. Just like you practiced. Just like with the target."

A deep breath.

A long, long, pause, so long I thought time had stopped and maybe I was imagining all this.

And a sudden, indescribable, exploding burst of pain in my right buttock, followed by a loud CRACK, my whole body convulsing, and oh my GOD, I couldn't survive this, my butt must have been sliced open it must have. Agony, sheer agony, unbearable, Screaming through clenched teeth, then louder, then even louder, then panting, then sobbing, hearing myself as if outside myself my god.

I was blubbering. Holy fucking shit I'd never imagined pain like this and it just wouldn't go away, it kept getting worse and worse and worse. I didn't know if my eyes were open or closed, everything just sort of blacked out and got spinny, and still the pain got worse, until without warning, TTTHHHWHACKKKK!! the sound pierced my ears just as my left butt cheek burst open my God, and I screamed, screamed so loud surely someone must have heard, but I knew there was no one around for miles, screaming and panting, screaming and panting, until I couldn't breathe.

That scary can't breathe feeling, finally catching my breath, then a few seconds later another CCCRACKKKK!! and the crease where my right buttock meets my right leg was cut open, sliced, and I felt myself thrashing my head in every direction, screaming, then for several long seconds cursing until one of the young women, one of Lauren's friends shouted "SHUT UP!!" and I did, I tried to, but still I screamed as loud as I could until I felt the back of my left thigh ripped open just before a SHRRRACKKKK!!" and I thrashed again, and wailed, and screamed nonsense as hard as I could.

Dear god, dear god, how long could this possibly last, and how could I take it? I could barely breathe, couldn't think, could only feel the raging pain getting worse and worse and worse, whining, still whining so loud, as the whip cracked again and I felt my right buttock again, so close to the first lash, I felt it being gashed open again, with a THWACKKK!! and I bucked my whole naked body as far as I could against the tension of the harness below and the harness above, screaming the whole while. Serious pain and I was becoming more and more terrified at how long this would last. I was more scared than ever. "Please! Please no, no more! Pleeeeeaaase!!"