by SexyBetelgeuse
Thank you for a lovely story!
Please write a second chapter building their lives together.
Great pacing, great balance of characterization, scene-setting, and sex. Loved the sex, too! Thanks for sharing this delicious story!
Nice build up and a lovely sensual story with the hint of romance leading to a beautiful story. Gave me a nice Christmasy glow ❤️
I really enjoyed reading this story and hope you will write more so we can see if these two loving ladies become a couple and more thank you story is brilliant. xx
Just poking around and found this one, and was immediately sucked in by how good it was. Thank you for sharing it with us!
One of the best stories I've read, beautiful and sexy and well paced.
I hope Chloe and Riley are still happy together
Great job! I can't wait to read more from you! Great attention to detail
Loved the story; really well presented, and so glad everything worked out for the girls. Another episode ?? Please ?
No matter how many times i've read this story it always leaves me with a smile on my face. It's so charming and lovely.
...and further evidence that Lit's rating system is fucked up beyond repair. An average of 4.69 stars (as of this writing) is too low for this story.
First rate! The passage where Chloe was comparing her real self with her mother's ambitions for her was warm, touching and gently sad (and so very true to life). One question, SB, you are a very good writer so why haven't you written more for this site? I think you'd find that you were more than welcome.
well written , great story ,characters that have depth and feeling . really hot ....very . top marks for the author .
sorry about cussing but it was sooooo good and sweet i just love it!!!!
what more can be said; still smiling and I'm a 50+ yo straight man.
love your stories - was hoping that you'd continue writing, thank you very much
DKP
What a beautiful story and how lovely to have a happy ending. You write so well, SB!
This is an excellent story, I could really relate to the main character. Knowing but never telling, not being able to make yourself believe someone else could feel the same way toward you as you do for them, and settling for being "friends" with those whom you have a totally different kind of interest in. It was very spooky but gives hope that maybe somewhere there is someone out there for me. Unfortunately I stayed hidden and followed the expectations and got stuck. Glad to see that at least in a story things could go how they should have.
A wonderful story with good pacing and great sex once the barricades were crossed.
This story warmed my heart. So cute and beautiful. I hope I find another girl to love me that way someday.
Heart warming Christmas tale. Please write more.
That was amazing!!! The story was great the details were perfect!! Really hope you write more and if you do I cant wait to read it
best Story ever! had me going the whole time! i was freaking out a some parts like we that girl stopped yal in the dressing room! really?ruined the momet! ad in the hot tub when she took off her top??oh priceless! but i was so mad bc i tought she left! i didnt want you to go thrugh that again but when she actually did stay the moment yal had brought tears to my eyes bc i know your gonna make it :) dont stop writing! this is my all time favorite! LOVE LOVE LOVE!
please contact me if there is a continuence or another one like it! (adk247uk@gmail.com) thanks :))
Damn! You made me cry! I knew she didn't leave. :) Great, sweet story! ~ L
Though you really should have someone proofread your wonderful stories. I barely cared about the mistakes because the story was so good. May we have some more?
i liked it, because i'm a bit insecure and bitter like Chloe. very realistic and like a fairy tale at the same time. Loved it!
You wrote this so well, I hope your managing to earn money with your talent.
(And needless to say, I'd love to reading another story from you :-)
R.
Love the angst and turmoil in Chloe. The self doubt and making herself believable and real for the reader. Good job! Really enjoyed how this unfolded but you did leave me curious for more. Riley's bisexual, I personally would rather have it cleared up that the two of them are just happy with the two of them, but there's another possible story to be had in finding out if that's really the case or not.
Oh God. More of Riley and Chloe! Simply more! Great story - the hot tub scene was ingenious ;)
please write more. u prolly get this a lot but still. your page is now in my favorites and i cant wait for the next story
...on your win in the contest. Good story, and I liked the twist at the end.
I'm slowly working my way up to this level, thank you for inspiring me to keep plugging along.
And I mean EVERYTHING: Romance, hot sex, a tight narrative with a great story arc, believeable dialog, tantalizing imagery, and enough pathos to make me cry without burying the story. You have a remarkable gift, and I look forward to reading more of your stories in the future.
I agree with the other readers. This story I think is also very relatable. Gay or straight those same insecruities are a human thing!! Wonderful!!! You made me cry as well.
You have real talent for description, dialog, character development, and plot. Many of us struggle to create a story half as good as this, and many of us do not succeed. I personally am not a big fan of lesbian stories, but the ratings this story got and the prize you won prompted me to read it. I'm very glad I did. Don't make us wait for more of your work. I can hardly wait to read what you submit next!
Best entry I've read yet! Longer than most but worth every line, especially the twist at the end. Strong characters and realistic circumstances make this a must read!
Aw you guys made me cry! Thank you so much for all your wonderful comments. I didn't expect my first go at writing to be successful! Your positive responses have prompted a new story idea! More coming soon! :)
Very sweet characters, nice descriptions and development. Could have ended sad, but fortunately didn't ... But the long sad history of Chloe's unfulfilled desire made the story very believable - and made us enjoy her sex with Riley even more.
So, merry christmas, SexyBetelgeuse (sexy name, too, btw).
C'mon editors! If this doesn't deserve an Editor's Choice, I may as well hang up my pen and go home. How could a love and lust story be more perfect???
you had me sitting glued to my seat... i simply couldnt take my eyes from the story - so very beautiful and erotic.
Please write more! you have a real talent there.
A perfect mix of romance, teasing the reader, and sex. Congratulations!
This is a sensationally beautiful story - in both senses, the technically excellent and flawless and masterly writing, little details perfectly depicted, and also in the raw and believable eager sensuality you convey. You are a wonderful writer and I'm sure we're going to be overwhelmed by your future creations.
What a gift! Thanks for sharing. Now, get it on and let's see some more, OK?
Wonderful first story, I can't wait to read more of your stories.