All Comments on 'The Lonely Housewife and Me'

The story itself isn't all that bad. However, you've got to find an editor!!! All of the run on sentences make for a difficult read; find someone who has a better knowledge of the English language and the use of grammar and punctuation!

I would suggest that you consider getting the assistance of an editor for your next story.

I'd call this a Basic Fuck Story. You hit all the high (expected) points like the pussy, your cock, her nipples, where the cum went ~ but you left out details, 3 weeks of chit-chat foreplay and her husband's story. By the way, what happened to him ? You dropped him out in the middle of watching and never got back to him. You have a story, but you didn't "tell" a story. Is she a horny cougar ? Did hubby fuck her after you left ?

I liked the build up, but in 2 paragraphs, they fucked and he was out the door. A little anti-climactic.

Try reading your drafts out loud, and put a comma in when you make slight pauses. A period and new sentence when the subject changes.