All Comments on 'The Long Fall Ch. 02'

WTF was Ruth doing with two bags of groceries for a single person alone in the apartment. I know...here is a better storyline.

While John and Ruth were embracing in the hallway, I would have had Bill come out of the apartment shirtless and in his underwear. John is shocked, looks angrily at Ruth, shoves her aside and as he is walking away, hears Bill say...."oops, I did it again.

The author is a great writer but his storyline sucks bigtime...

good read and it runs along smoothly.... and the author does a GREAT job in showing the male/ husband mindset without being having a wimp mindset.

as I predicted the author developed several Key events in chapter 1 that have to be answered in This chapter to make the reconciliation believeable... simply ignore all the Key points of his OWN story!!!

This is really a pet peeeve of mind in these LW stories. Why have the husabnd voice his real concerns about her actions in chapter 1 if they NEVER get address in chpater 2? I dont think I am being unreasonable on this point

The husband isnt a wimp per se-- as the confrontation in the counselor's office is Very well done. The Husband said what needed to be said... how she could do that in their house with thier kids asleep in the next room and have No regard for him...

but in the end the hubby DOES wimp out... from what I can tell he just decided he wanted the cheater back.

Yes the husband exposes the wife as the manipulative bitch she is... holding a NON event by her husband that did NOTHING wrong as her own Free pass card to cheat for 8 years

But she never explains WHY she fucked the brother in law. Saying she had a crush in BILL is NOT anyway near good enough

she never explains how she could do so in the DEN which is filled with all their family stuff phots and nick nacks..

Poor little Wimp! Cukor short for cuckold? Well written and tense, right up to the whore-ifying ending. Sent shivers down my spine. Deeply disturbing. Poor little cuck living in some weird half-marriage limbo, thinking it will get better. I am anxiously awaiting to see who she fucks & sucks in part 3.

Unoriginal and unrealistic.

A well-crafted, well-told tale of a sad little man in a sad little marriage. However, I just can't suspend my disbelief to the extent necessary to buy a reconcilliation in this situation. The familiarity and ease between the lovers indicate more than a one-time incident. The shared tender caresses and the loving expressions make it clear that the wife has put the brother ahead of her husband. Doing what they did, when and how they did it shows that the lovers have no real concern for the husband/brother or the kids. This is not a marriage, this is an on-going humiliation.

You had a great story until you let a slut who admitted wanting the brother for years and had a prepared excuse, his previous cheat to get even, prepared. No it wasnt accidental, it wasnt the heat of the moment, it was planned and executed. And since you have the precedence of forgiving this one, your own brother who was also married in the same house with you and your children, she knows she can cheat again and you will forgive again. Most likely plans are already being made as she wanted you to forgive your brother for the sins he commited on you. By the way if brother does brothers sister best guess is he has done others, where are the HIV and STD test?

Yes there is a fool born every minute, hmmm, are you sure your birth didnt take an hour?

After reading this story, I regret the waste of my time. What started out as a potentially good read went quickly downhill. I don't understand how the husband could have gone so quickly from his position at the counselors, to taking his wife back virtually unconditionally. All of the issues raised by his wife about his previous non-'indiscretion' and her crush on his brother were ignored. Unless he is setting his wife up for a dramatic fall, I have much more respect for his sister-in-law than I do for him.

Respect for this author = high! Respect for the ending of this particular tale = low! Wife got away with a double standard and he should just swallow it? We think "not". Stupid bitch, got off too easy and he is setting the stage for her to cheat again and receive "no consequences". Usually like this author but this story ending sucks!

it wasn't the husband was a wimp, the low score comes because the sudden change over w/o build up.

one minute he is hostile getting ready to divorce, then suddenly he is loving and reconcilling - without any explaination of the sudden change over, without any consequences, pretty much able to fully fuction emotionally and sexually.

it is like the ending was just pasted on without relation to the whole story. it is weak man.

Your making a big mistake you and ruth are finally getting back on your feet and now you want to reopen the same pandoras box with bill your crasier than you look dont bring bill back yet how do you know she wont start back up again with bill?

i would write up a pre nuptial agreement between you and ruth and bill saying that if she starts up with bill again like the last time she will be divorced and bill is dead thays a promise.

Pat.

Atlanta,Ga

I'm sorry that I just couldn't get behind the story.

The problem I had were things that were left unexplained with no ending produced.

You had him asking for a DNA test on his kids. What happened? Did he go through with it? Did the doctor talk him out of it? What?

The wife professes a crush on the brother, and she says that's why she let it go as far as it did? He has a crush and all he did was flirt then walk away from the woman. She has a secret crush on his brother and now she's giving out free blowjobs, and now they both feel their even? Huh?

The brother Bill and his Wife are getting divorced, but some how the hero and the heroine of the story seem to stay together. I'm completely lost as to why.

You tried to balance out that the one time the husband "flirted" with a woman he knew had intrest in him was the same as when his wife was giving his brother a blowjob in their den, in the middle of the night, while he and the kids were sleeping close by. I'm sorry, but somehow I just don't see that as a balance. It was the worst type of "one up-manship" in a story. You basicly had the wife go:

Remember that time you had a fantasy about having an affair, well I forgave you and you should forgive me for giving your brother, who "I've" always had a crush on, a blowjob. We're finally even. Your kidding, right?

While I agree with how scrambled and hurt the husband was, by the end of the story you wrote him as the villian, and heck even "he" felt he was the villain for not getting past his hurt.

But for me the whole story revolves around one point. The wife actually cheated on the husband. While he thought about it and entertained the notion, when push came to shove in part one of your story, the husband couldn't go through with having sex with his secret crush. But the wife "DID" have sex with her secret crush.

And once again, the victim was turned into the villain.

____________________________

Author:

Often times, I and other folks, are accused of being members of the hang-em, or throw-em out, crowd. But think about this a second: You write stories that showes a victim, whether it be a husband or a wife. You spend page after page setting up the story to show the hurt, the pain, the anger, or even the betrayal, setting the reader up so that they almost "FEEL" what it was like to be that person. Then somehow you stop and write half a page or page of how "He forgives his wife mainly because he can't live without her, and now they are going to live happy ever after (or as close as they can come), the end.

And I get the feeling you may act surpised we don't all clap for how great the story was supposed to be.

I can't clap. Not when you write a story about how wronged a person was and now he's basically just "pretending" it never happened because he doesn't want to be alone. That not the justice, or even remorse, most of us would like to had seen to make us feel good about the couple staying together in the story.

What I read here was just plain "desperation" and a characters who "fears" being alone so much he'll beg his wife to forgive him for acting like a jerk after walking in, and watching, his lovely wife give his brother a blowjob. This character went as far as to "beg" his wife to take him back by the end of the story.

The one thing the character said I found interesting was that he said that he never saw "remorse" in the wife, just her trying to "pretend" it never happened and just wait for it to all blow over. Sure she went to a shrink, but she never admited her part in it remorsefully. Just explained "I did it because I had a crush on your brother and wanted to give him something special". And this is what the husabnd accepted as a a remorseful admission? I still never thought she changed at all. But that he just got tired of waiting.

Some folks that want a happy ending "no matter what" (commonly called Forced Reconcillation) won't care that it didn't make sense. Me, I wouldn't mind a little justice from time to time. And I have yet to really see "any" of it in a story by you so far. You write a good beginning and middle story. But you seem to peter out on the endings because it's easier to say "they lived happy ever after" than it is to make the reader feel they "deserved" to live happy ever after.

If you can make me feel outrage at her behaviour, you should make me feel he wasn't still being vicimized by his wife and just chose to live with it, and that's what was called a happy ending.

-Risq

Why you are not fucking your mother insted writing this wimp husband story? That is much better work to do.

Lots of hurt everywhere. Good writing, excellent title.

It should have been at the end of the first chapter (it would have been a hundred). I was impressed but weary. I asked what next? We got the prefect storm; where could he take it from here? We already got a very strong description of “the revelation”, plus some history, plus some of the immediate aftermath.

With the second chapter, if you were counted on style only you wrote another hundred. But at some point you have to account for the content too. How far can you stylize the word “Sorry” to substitute for an intelligent account of a woman psyche? My advice - talk to a woman. Get a list of fifteen mental scenarios, then choose one (I am not being facetious). As it stands, it felt as if you took a brand new Corvette (chapter one) and drove it to a junk yard where (that’s where I cringe) you leave the car to the treatment of one of those horrible crushing machines which crushes every thing into a cube (chapter two). WHY? All the apparatus of psychological observation was left at the door; someone else came to finish the crushing of the story.

There should be. There must be a better way to end stories in this section, without falling to the ‘reconcile or divorce’ trap which I believe many readers set for the authors here. Maybe more later.

a wimp writer pretending to be a real man

In fact (with part one) it's the best writing I've read anywhere for a long time. Ignore the stick it's getting from the cheap seats; you knew before you put it here that it wasn't really Literotica material.

This is brilliant work - if you haven't tried to get published yet you definitely should.

It must be your preference to see all the wives of the world fuck around on their husbands, so you make the husbands out to be inferior and lap-dog-type beings who permit it. Or, maybe that's what happened to you at some point in your life and you just keep telling the same story in different ways all the time. You write well but you think like someone who has no backbone.

Your story is not about a wimp husband or some guy who can just kick his wife out onto the curb. I understand that and if these others can't well it's their loss. I loved the inner termoil and how you wrote it within the story, all the fragmented sentances and jumbled thoughts really brought the mood to fruition.

First up what is with this idiot from Scotland saying this story is the Best story and this particular author is the best ever on Lit? I use to live in scotland and folks let me just say MOST folks in scotland are not that fucking stupid

well it is safe to say that Alavron53s gushing praise of this mediocre story that Alavron53 posted in chapter 1 feedback -- recall he had read the entire story on another site-- is totally over done hype and real bullshit.

I stated that Alavron53 had a tendecny to let wives go... NOT hold the wife accountable at all and had Tendency to love the reconciliaiton idea so much that Alavron53 almost comes across as a super wimp lover much like 60 year old George or TiggerToo

having th hsuband simply say Inwant you b/c I hurt too much is NOT the basis to rebuild the marriage.

Having a wife claim that she has some sort of free pass to have a affair or sexual 1 night stand b/c the husband flirted SLIGHTLY at a party 8 years is NOT the basis to reconcile

and the DNA thing ... Risq is right.. WHY does the author raise the issue then leave it hanging

yet I still gave you a 5 of the overall tale! The ending showed the husband was maybe a wimp but he loved her and was a better man than I would have been. I would have had to have some sort of revenge on my brother. With regards to the wife I don't believe it was her first time with him. The discription of how she touched his face and looked at him makes me believe she was fucking him and sucking him for a long time. Also the DNA question was never answered. Therefore I don't beleieve I could have taken her back knowing damn well if she has the chance she would do it again. But it's not my story and I apprectae a good stroy written well, which HK did both. Bud

It's always fascinating to me how readers judge a story, it appears, almost solely on whether the characters behave as they (the readers) hope they will.

People make all sorts of decisions--good and bad--and readers, I think we really should try to look past those decisions and see the whole story, see the context, see what the author is trying to achieve.

Does John make the "right" decision? Who knows? But the author certainly makes clear why he wants Ruth back, despite his ongoing pain. The fact is, he's going to suffer either way, with her or without her. This character chooses to reach out to her, to take her back. You may not agree, you may wish he made a different choice, but you can't say it's impossible, or that it makes no sense, or that the author doesn't make it plausible and understandable.

It would also be nice--while I'm ranting here a little bit--if readers who get so upset would read stories more carefully. It's clear that John didn't just FLIRT, he had an actual affair (apparently a one-night stand) himself, eight years earlier. So Harry and Risq (and others), please try getting the facts right before you go off on the author and his work.

And thanks to H. Jekyll for a moving, enthralling story.

ohio

And you can "rant" at me as much as you like and it won't hurt my feelings, but I stand by what I said in the 2nd half of my comment.

YOU, Ohio, just like any other author (including this one), sometimes takes great detail to explain what happened, how it happened, and the "depths" of the betrayal. But Ohio, when you (and currently this author) fail to convey why a reconcile should have happen, you often blame the readers for not seeing your way and the comments left you don't agree with.

Let me show you an example similar stories:

"The Troubador" wrote a story called "Hildy". That story will always be the banner story to me of stupidity. Where the wife does such horrible things to the husband but he couldn't wait to run back to the wife. I thought it was a "poorly" written reconcilation story.

But lets turn around and look at a similar story.

"Curious2c" wrote a SIMILAR story. Where almost the exact same thing happened. But in this story the husband and wife didn't stay together. But in that story I actually was pulling for the reconcilation and was disappointed it didn't happen, but respected the story regardless. And Curious2c isn't the only one. There is Longhorn__07, the Wanderer, and yes rarely you at times Ohio. It can be done. Just not often by various authors.

But why isn't it done more often? In "The Troubador's" story he concentrated on the hurt, the betrayal, but almost "NO" real time on making the reader feel he was balancing that hurt and pain to build a basis or ground work for a reconcilation. His reconcilation of the husband and wife felt stilted and forced. Yet Curious2c managed to spend the time to build that missing foundation, enough so that it would have felt right if they had reconciled.

Same story, same primise, same starting point for the story, yet different outcomes. But further yet one reconcilation felt wrong yet it happened, and one felt right but it didn't happen. Go figure.

Don't blame Harry or I for feeling that this story didn't make sense if it doesn't, or that it felt forced.

-Risq

PS: Ohio if your correct and thats what the author intended, I disagree with your assesment that I was wrong.

- If John cheated on the wife, it was hidden well enough in the story that I passed over it. Sorry, something like that should be more clear to a reader.

- The wife didn't know for sure. I went back and re-read it and at best the wife thinks the other woman is confessing her love. Not that he may have slept with her. She tells him that he betrayed her by keeping a secret.

-If he cheated it did it in a way that it wouldn't come home to her. She chose his brother, in their home, with him and the kids near by. Yep that's always the best revenge. Years later, flaunting, and rubbing the possible guilty parties face in it.

But like you said, it was a rant against Harry and I more than anything huh?

I think incest/taboo might fit better. The brother is the wife's brother by marriage, so one might interpret this legally as incest. I think you got inside the head of the betrayed husband very nicely. People do get mixed up when their security and frames of reference get turned upside down. But a man who is obviously as intelligent as our "hero" should be able to talk this out with his wife, with a counselor if necessary.

As others asked, what did the DNA tests show? I assume the kids were in fact his by the lack of further mention of this, but leaving loose ends like this weakens the story. I think many of the criticisms are by individuals who simply want the story to end per their own fantasy formulas; I don't see anything wrong with a reconcilliation ending but in this particular story, the change of heart of our "hero" was much too fast.

Also, a thinking, sensitive person would not say to his wife in front of the kids, "You look like shit." Most men would not forgive their brothers for having "sex" (forget the Bill Clinton definition; it was definitely a sexual encounter) with their wives. I don't have much time sense for this story but it would seem the time frame is a few weeks or perhaps a month or two; forgiveness of the brother is really too fast. And if I were the brother, I think after the first e-mail of "explanation" I would not have dared further communication with the person I wronged. The brother (Bill) lied like a champ when confronted the morning after; I'm really surprised he confessed to his wife -- it seems out of character. I think he would have kept her in the dark based on what we know of him.

there were two trust episodes she had with him:

The recent one:

"Damn it! Nothing happened! But she does like me, the way you think she does. So I'm thinking we shouldn't invite her."

And one earlier in their marriage:

Trust me? I had slipped once, long ago, early in our marriage, stupidly, thoughtlessly, and almost as stupidly had immediately confessed everything to Ruth. I know what it means to fail, and to regret.

So the newer episode where the woman came on to him was on top of the earlier episode and could obviously lead to some trust issues. This doesn't excuse what she did by any means, it's just that there are no clean hands in this story - and that's what life is about ("Let the one among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone ...")

This story is quite well written with well defined characters and beautifully expressed emotions. It does more than a credible job of exploring the pathos that usually is a fallout from infidelity. The ending is consistent with the characters as drawn and the story was interesting and engaging. That's about all that I expect for a story - I'm happy!

Good job, Mr. Jekyll!

Regards, Jack

Long discussions about what happens in any story are futile. If you are too concerned about whether a story is likely or realistic or morally justified, you're missing the point - it's just a STORY! The Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter aren't likely, Shakespeare isn't realistic, even the Bible has to be taken with a pinch of salt. I am, in a small way, a professional author of non-fiction works, and I have great respect for a writer like Jekyll who can take a clichéd plot-line like this and make it into something serious and moving. Excellent writing.

that would be Long_horn's SEPARATE LIVES, I think that was the title.

that was an obviously much longer, almost novel-length story.

it takes the readers through the white picket fences phase, the infidelity, the break-up, the moving on, and the eventual meeting years later.

the little CLEANSING ritual that the author had the characters do with each other, WITHOUT NEITHER verbally expressing it to the other explicitly ----- now, I do believe that's the most unique cleansing ritual in a cheating story where one spouse hurts the other almost eternally deep and KNOWING IT, too.

in that story, you see the real pain in BOTH people, but in the face, eyes, and body language of the wife, I believe whose name was Sherrie! (I still remember, because it is very memorable.) She KNEW that the husband HAD suspicions, though he never even asked,,, so when they met and were on track to becoming involved again, SHE gave him the DNA without his asking.

but he, again, did some proactive and ritually significant for her, allowing her to be "cleansed" of her "soiled" self spiritually/symbolically, without HER asking for it and they were in sync in thought while these little symbolic rituals were taking place,,,,

again, if any one wants to really understand how or why SOME reconciliations are really possible and even desired, they should read LONG_HORN's SEPARATE LIVES....

fucks HIS brother on HIS sofa in HIS house,and then says 'let's not let one stupid,stupid thing take away what we have'And spineless wimp takes her back.Or des he do it because he misses his chats with his brother about football?

I think OHIO's post-- that of an IDIOT-- shows why he is king of the super wimps.

Its funny-- and quite sad-- that good authors like OHIO think that b/c I as a reader expect SOME sort of answer to the Moral iusses or problem raised by the AUTHOR-- not by me but by the author-- it is somehow MY fault and NOT the authors.

My response to OHIO-- dude you need a class in critial thinking.

yes it is Just a story. ****BUT IF THE AUTHOR HAS THE HUSBAND CHARACTER IN THIS STORY SAY THINGS LIKE****

how could she do??...

how could she humiliate me so?

I can never acccept that...

then in the NEXT chapter(s) forgets ALL of those issues... I have the right to say WHAT THE FUCK?

Yes the author does NOT have to answer those problems... but I have the right to point them out

this story failed to answer any of the points the husband raised in chapter 1. Yes the husband did talk about her manipluations but the wife has NO explanation....

In Ohio's flawed HOUSE OF CARDS after the wife is caught / confronnted she tells her boyfriend of 8 months that "you know my husband is always first.."

yet in the weeks before she is caught ..the Husband starts asking questions-- she lies... and she does NOT call off her sexual liasions with the boyfriend

we then find out the wife had LOTS of sex with the boyfriend oh their annivesary--- yes the boyfriend knew of the significance to that date...

Clearly the husband was NOT number 1.

Many folks raised this Key point. OHIO wrote .. OHIO has the wife say it.

it is NOT wrong of me to raise this point and expect an answer.

according to Morons like OHIO any sort of shit that an author puts out is OK and I have to like it .

Ohio, please!!! You say:

"This character chooses to reach out to her, to take her back. You may not agree, you may wish he made a different choice, but you can't say it's impossible, or that it makes no sense, or that the author doesn't make it plausible and understandable."

Bullshit! It definitely isn't impossible, and it could make sense, but by no stretch of anyone's imagination does the author "make it plausible and understandable."

If he did, how is it so many readers disagree with you?

You make statements like: "It's always fascinating to me how readers judge a story, it appears, almost solely on whether the characters behave as they (the readers) hope they will."

Maybe that's how you judge and ridiculously assume the rest of us do the same, transferring your method of deciding to the rest of us?

It is ALWAYS the author's job to convince the readers. A well written story leaves no major ground for disagreement over the basic premise. This story fails dismally - it is so unbalanced it beggars belief.

I find myself, on a very rare occasion, agreeing with Harry VA. The author does a great job of getting us to believe the depth of betrayal felt by John - in the den with all their keepsakes around, she looks 'lovingly' at the brother etc.etc. All very well done.

Then in chapter two it is like he never wrote any of that - it was all COMPLETELY forgotten and he jams them back together.

Makings of a really good story destroyed by a dismally thouight out ending. AJ gave us not one credible reason John managed to forget all the hurt and take her back.

It could have been done. A reconciliation, or not, can fit any story if it is well written.

Bloody hell - I can sit thru a superman movie and believe he can fly, but this author took me nowhere near being able to believe his facile ending.

Oh, yes, it pleased all the 'reconciliation at all costs' critics, and it seems in that way HJ achieved what he set out to do.

But that is still a far cry from writing a good story.

This story is well written and I thought the way Hubby’s thoughts were jumbled was particularly effective. There were a number of problems that kept this story from being outstanding as the author fell into the old multiple gaping plot holes trap.

Hubby and wife never really resolved his infidelity early in the marriage. Despite his poor bargaining position at that point, he should have made it clear there was no reciprocal wild card or the marriage was over. Obviously, there had been no discussion of this point as wifey felt she had one.

Nobody can keep attraction to another secret. Everybody sees it in actions, body language and speech. Everybody knows it. I know this personally. It’s very startling to be confronted with something you thought was secret. Hubby was written as obtuse in the extreme on this one.

Who would argue against DNA testing? DNA testing company websites note that most (over 90%) of husbands are relieved to find the children are theirs. Marriages are saved, not destroyed, for the most part. So was a DNA test done? The author didn’t say, so that means no. What hubby, under the circumstances, wouldn’t have the tests run on Will, at least? I sure would. As written, it’s reasonable to assume Will is the brother’s son. Marriage over.

What hubby would have stood and watched the wife and brother have sex and done nothing? None that I know. I’d have armed myself with something and thrown them both out on the street as is.

IRL, wives usually stay married to a cheater and hubbys divorce a cheater. In this story, it’s the opposite. The brother’s wife divorces him for receiving oral sex but the wife giving it stays married. Weird.

Hubby won’t talk to the wife, then has a sudden epiphany and begs to stay married? Strange. None of us can say what we’d really do but I think taking wifey back at that point was bizarre. As written, they surely would need to do a better job of communicating than they had ever done so far.

Comments about “wimps” show the commenters’ lack of life experience and low level of emotional maturity. Some Lit famous authors have commented about how, after the age of fifty, black and white fades real fast and gray comes roaring upon you. Things you thought were so important from 20 to 50 years old suddenly fall by the wayside and you finally see the things that really matter. Many men, after divorcing hastily in anger, find themselves regretting their actions. As a commenter said recently, most people would rather be right than happy.

Thanks for writing.

Phil

I ask that question because your stories seems so similar. In all of your stories the wife cheats and the husband takes her back no matter what he says or how miserable he is made by her actions.

The sudden turnabout by John in the ending makes him seem like a totatlly different character. What was the point of kicking her out of the house? Why did he get upset with his brother Bill when it is clear that Ruth seduced him (She came to Bill after hours)? John had it right in that she said she forgave him but really she had his mistake eight years earlier as a "get out of jail" card if she was caught. You never closed the loop on whether John was the father of his kids. So now John is going to call the rest of the family and tell them that all is ok?

Anyway, it would have been nice to know why John took her back.

SleeplessinMD

First! No one can quibble that this author has fantastic ability with words, emotions and painting scenes.

That isn't what is at issue from my and others viewpoint. A good writer progressing to author builds respect for his work and himself by being credible - by being true to his plot line - by not altering without clear definition a plot line or characters traits once established.

To be clear, fiction in the case of stories about humans and life doesn't mean the suspension of reality - of the prior detailed foundation upon which the story was built.

A writer has a responsibility to him/herself to be as good as they can be within reason - or not last long for their own and/or readers reasons. Also, no one here or elsewhere should expect perfection from a human but close or improving is recognizable and a good trend.

Few writers here and on other sites have the ability to close a story to expectation - from the framework they prior established or to what reality / life dictates or expects.

Because of that difficulty, many writers just get out the best they can in a short story format. In many cases, they extend unreasonably without plan or outline but I think quite often they just run out of gas. They don't devote the same care as they did to the opening or middle. We forget that they are either new or haven't had the training / experience of some of the others.

Some of the time, their prior expected expressed agenda demands unexpected character trait alteration or plotpath change to get there.

It is hard for me to understand why one would spend all that time to develop a foundational plotpath that cries for either divorce or extended potential reconciliation but then settle for a quick mindless it seems slam back together for what appears to be a weak or non-substantiated reason by the writer.

It certainly is an authors right to do as they wish but do they really understand the message that sends to their customer readers. Respect rarely remains the same. It, like much of life, is affected each day by actions or lack of same. It is a foundational block of measurement by self and others. Credibility stems primarily from respect. Simple but complex in everyday life - and writing.

This authors wordsmith abilities to describe, and excite emotion are almost without peer to many readers with myself included, but sometimes I feel his personal challenge is to stylishly push a square peg into a round hole while not offending the readers pallet - to much or not at all.

The smoke and mirrors of his talent are very significant but cannot at times ring true to acceptable human normality and most reader expectations.

That said - Author you are a great read and someday perhaps close to the best.

With High Regard

or even close to it, but the author is among the top dozen or so really good writers here in Lit.; that's not the argument.

the argument --- and ultimately that's what good authors want from their readership: argue OVER their work! --- is whether or not there's coherence and plot consistency in this particular story.

the answer is a clear NO!

last point but the most important: some people keep saying the author could say any thing, do any thing, start or end their stories anyway they want. NO, they can't!

the ULTIMATE point to writing is to CONVEY to others --- NOT to convey to yourself --- some story, some ideas, what-not,,,,, whether real or made up.

(if it's to convey to yourself and you don't care what others think, you won't even write the stories in the first place; and even if you do, you won't bother to post in in public places for others to see/read.)

you can NOT, as an author/writer/story teller, start telling people the other day you sprayed a piece of rock with semen, for example, and a life just came out of it. you can't just say things like that. it makes no sense; it is not believable.

an author's task is to CONVEY some meaningful, believable story to OTHERS (not to himself); and you do that BEST when you come up with a good plot and carry through with your writing with LOGICAL CONSISTENCY.

believe or not, the intelligent readers do NOT want authors to write stories with endings to their liking all the time,,,, what they want, however, is RESPECT for their intelligence. when authors show respect for their readers, the latter reciprocate by making critical but meritorious remarks,,,

and critical but meritorious remarks are NOT one liners like, "Man, you are the man! The best out there! Your stories are brilliant!" ad nauseam!

I'm actually dumber for having sat and read this story. While forgiveness is an important aspect of human life, this guy illustrates the direction that America is taking with the emasculated male figure in its households. Simply put, the guy in this story is a fucking little wimp. So fucking pathetic, this story would have been the same if he had just gone and eaten his brother's cum out of his wife's freshly fucked snatch. Period. Other than that, great skill in writing fiction.

In an attempt to use the stream of consciousness writing technique the author loses his way.The author can not overcome the incoherence and implausibility of his story line.This basic weakness leaves the reader with a jumbled mass of contradictions that confuse and ultimately bewilder the reader.Stream of consciousness in the hands of an experienced writer is an excellent tool giving the reader an insight into the inner workings of a character's thought process.However in this case, there are so many unexplained events and 180 degree changes of attitude that the reader becomes nonplussed.Experienced writers give sufficient care to foreshadow such changes thus insuring a smooth transition to a new perspective.Alas,this was not the case in this endeavor.

Know I know. You drew these Parents as two very disturbed individuals. Those poor kids. But, you don't get a "5". You never settled the DNA issue and you equated flirting with fucking.

Harry tells me I need "a course in critial thinking".

Well, DUDE, to start with you need a course in TYPING.

But beyond that--all I said about you is that you needed to read the story carefully. Other readers have managed to find the place in the story where, very clearly, without any ambiguity, John says that he was unfaithful to Ruth (eight years earlier) and that, idiotically, he told her about it.

You are so busy writing angry responses--to me, to H. Jekyll, to anyone who writes a story that doesn't have your preferred ending--that you neither take the time to read carefully, nor even to type accurately.

Get it together, man!

ohio

All the comments are bang on....It is the author who fucked up real bad by putting together a mediocre story at best that doesn't make any sense....read it again...John and Ruth and Bill...do not work anywhere..do not have friends ...do not really exist...they are all one dimensional characters...wrought with bad lines to explain themselves...The first comment written about having Bill coming out of the apartment at the end saying "Oops" made more sense than all these comments put together....at least the attempt was to assist the author to improve a poorly written story...

NOTE: the pros and cons replies all have merit...but some of these guys should learn that what goes through one's mind does not translate to the surroundings or the reality around them....the written word sometimes gets lost even though the feeling was right...The author has to brush up on his objectivity...maybe write a story from Ruth's POV and Bill's POV and see how those stories relate to John's POV...

This is one of the saddest reconciliation stories on the site...because the narrative never reached that possibility .. other than the fact that the author did not know what to do with his own story...

The author is a master at this...read all his stories...you may think he is inside the character...but all he is really doing is removing the character from the real world and pretending that this make believe world does indeed exist...

It's all garbage, all trivial...and everyone fell for it...

sign me

Mr. Hyde

The husband is laying there admitting she is satisfied with the way things turned out and he isn't. So he's just going to let everything go??? Bull fucking shit. Remember a couple of dudes named Cain and Abel??? And the DNA thing is anyone's guess, your meds just kick in on that one?? Mr. Hyde needs to step up and throttle you back to the real world.

After part one I was very worried that this was going to be another angry, closed, unhappy story. Thanks for pulling the iron out of the fire and ending it on a note of hope. It's nice that your protagonist was not consumed by bitterness.

What the heck happened here? The husband finds his wife cheating with his brother, kicks her out, severs his relationship with his brother...and then he just gets tired of being alone? That's not a story. It's just an observation.

Pretty well written so far as grammar and punctuation go. The author needs to quit putting spaces in front of, and behind, an ellipsis or an em dash, but those are minor points.

The dialogue is pretty good, the plot is well set up initially, and I could suspend my disbelief for a while, but darn...to drag the writing on so long and not really supply a resolution (as opposed to a capitulation). That's SO disappointing.

D, old bean, please reconsider how you complete a story. This gives one the impression you got tired of writing this and just threw a few paragraphs in at the end so you could get rid of it. You’re much better than that.

This is a smart short story...the author's left his ending to what the readers reasoning in themselves for the characters will be in their minds...thanks for good works.

This tale evoked quite a bit of emotion in me, so much so that I couldn't really comment before. Needless to state it is extremely well written, but it's the content, the angst, the extreme depth of emotion expressed by the husband that truly impacts the reader.

Only those who love deeply are truly so devastated by the infidelity of the spouse; these poor souls are almost destroyed by the anguish and heartbreak that they expterience. I probably would not be able to do what John did - eventually come to terms with Ruth's betrayal and welcome her back. So I admire him, he found the strength necessary for the reconciliation. He's a stronger man than I.

For those haters, I truly feel pity for you. Didn't someone, during this time of year, say something about forgiveness?

Why bring the the brother back in the picture he is the one that caused all the trouble with the wife why not just have him and Bill meet in a field and let each of them fist it out amongst themselves and if the hubby comes out the winner then bill should stay away.

Pat.

Atlanta,Ga

This story doesn't feel right. I tend to enjoy those tales that ring true. I can't believe the husband can just disregard the pictur in his head of his wife sucking his brother's dick! HOW COULD HE TRUST EITHER ONE OF THEM AGAIN?

Spiderman

I liked the amount of suspense and emotions you brought into your story. Not only, your historical and passive explanations, but also your active dialogue elements, I found to be well balanced. I felt both person’s discomfort and sorrow.

I didn’t like the lacking of information about the actual event. You made reference to an intimacy between her and his brother that was far greater than what could have been through a singular events. I felt the timeline between relationship in-laws and that evening to be totally lacking, and not there at all.

Same I felt true in his decision to take her back, too abrupt.

But, all in all an excellent work.

Great story. It was a break from all the supper sexed up stories. Though I like thoes, this one was just a pure and simplply a great read. Keep it up.

We always enjoy this highly respected author's work. But it is interesting to see the emotional similarities to author; "Enamored - Week from Hell" story. Personal perspective is that divorce from this slut wife is the most logical answer as opposed to the "reconcillation at all costs" method used by this author. The un-explained quick reconcillation without any meaningful justification has a negative impact on this story. A rush to end the story, perhaps? Makes one wonder!

I would like to see a husband like like one. The most natural act is for the husband to go and knock the hell out of the man fucking his wife...no matter who it is. YET all you so called writers have to have the husband stah=nd there and watch...What are you doing ? Trying to stretch out the only sex in your story. Are you afaaid for the husband to scream out his rage and confront the two..You are bullshit..You wriote a lot of flowerdy words but you cant make them coherent.

Yoy aremn't a writer...I don't know what the hell you are.

Let's see, he watches his wife fuck and suck his brother in their 'happy home' while knowing her husband or children could walk in at any time, he recognizes all the little gestures of love and affection she shares as easily as she shares her body, he is devastated by what he sees, and yet, "What everything comes down to is this: I want my wife back. I want my Ruth back." What a sad little man, to have so little self-respect. Why on earth would he believe she would ever respect him. He's only insured she'll be more careful next time.

How could this story go along as it did and then finish with this ending? It seemed very possible that the husband and wife might eventually get together, but even then the wife has obviously won and the husband has sacrificed his self-respect. But, to turn it around so suddenly and then to include the brother. It seems like whoever wrote the ending didn't bother to read the rest of the story. What a disappointing ending to an otherwise moving story.

One observation, I doubt that any man will watch his wife committing adultery and not stop it right at its inception. If he had stepped in right away and put a halt to the 'proceedings' there would have been less damage to their relationship and Bill's wife would not have divorced him. Just more infidelity he was forced to eventually forgive and more pain he had to suffer.

You are a very talented writer. The way you use Peter's thoughts to emotionally super-charge the story is very effective. Of course, it is also very frustrating which adds to the level of emotion. I as the reader found myself yelling, "You should be telling her what you're thinking and how it's making you feel or your marriage won't have a chance in hell of succeeding". This is also evident in Peter's comment, to himself, about how she always held his earlier affair against him and never forgave him. Always making him feel that she couldn't trust him allowing her a freeby, (maybe he'll learn how to communicate in counseling rather than keeping everything to himself). Whether you planned it this way or your writing just reveals your own behavior when dealing with similar situations I think you have a very intense style and I look forward to reading more from you. Thank you I enjoyed it.

As always, this is written in the woman's point of view. Beautifully written. Too bad, never like the ending. --- Thor

well written, and indeed, I approve of the redemption.

I am a fan of your writing skill, but i found two points in your story irritating or inexplcable might be a better word. First why did he stand and patiently observe wife and brother have oral sex with each other and then casually stroll up to bed, before he suddenly decided to question wife and secondly while I love happy endings, most stories have a key change that triggers reconciliation.In this story husband almost casually decides to reconcile with wfe with no key change in story. Knd of unusual reconciliation especially with his desire to resume friendship with brother. That, to me ,was a real shocker.

the CT. Yankee

Sometimes revenge is best when love is allowed to take control and humiliation is shunned.

Was a well written story. Not every deviation has to end in divorse and revenge. Sometimes its nice but when there's children involved, and real love, revenge is not always the best way forward

Same as one of your previous stories , a contrived reconciliation at the end. I cannot buy a story where a couple pine away for one another this way. The complete 180 on his part at the end feels so artificial. Maybe if we knew what he did to her all those years ago. It comes across to be not that bad, not as bad as cheating anyway. You usually do a better job, this one feels almost like a failed story. I can feel his anger and her frustration but I cant follow it all the way through to the end. It just jumps up and spins around 180 degrees. Too weird. Again the couple should have moved on lots of divorced and divorcing couples do. It's healthy in a relationship gone toxic to allow it to die a natural death. Hell from what background info we do have, the whole mess could have been avoided if they had split years ago. It becomes obvious, despite Ruth's protests to the contrary, that she DID hold his previous indiscretion over him or at least her forgiveness of it. It's one of the first things she says in the counselors office "I forgave YOU". All along she was holding on to that one "get out of jail" card in case she screwed up royally somewhere. Again in a real world situation they would just divorce hopefully to remarry someone a little more suited to them. The recon just doesn't work.

Grant

The story presents a classic example of the devastating symptoms of the RAAC (Reconciliation At All Cost) virus on the overall quality of a story as judged by the great majority of commenting readers. <P>

I may have not been specific enough in my first comments. I fully agree with OHIO when he asks readers to consider the merits of each story, not merely their own values when they judge a story. Using the same literary considerations though, I feel that the story itself failed to build enough justifications for either the wife’s cheating or for the final reconciliation. <P>

The one ‘fig leaf’ mentioned in defending the cheating& reconciliation plot line, is the husband’s own cheating, years ago. If nothing was said or done after all these years, and more so if things were said and efforts were made to rehabilitate the relations over the following years – blowing off the marriage contract as a ‘one time free pass for counter cheating’ is a truly dumb reason which could not be taken seriously.<P>

If there were other issues which drove them apart –they were not presented, which brings me to my original argument: ANY ending should be a result of the previous developments in the plot; otherwise you get one version or another of ‘something –at all cost’. Whichever it may be, it will be, as this story is - a disappointment.

So, he screwed up some years ago (doing what? We don't know - presumably infidelity). She now cheats on him - and with his brother, no less - so they're even, right?

Well, logically yes, emotionally it is devastating. She even declares her love (a "thing") for his brother. What does she want? To fuck both of them?

I didn't find much remorse or any strong attemps from her to rescue the marriage. Oh, she's sorry, and she's sorry she has to live alone.

If they hadn't been caught, how long would she have carried on? How often did it happen in the past? Lots of unanswered questions.

As so often happens in your stories, hubby comes out a wimp. He's the one paying the price, not her. I wonder what he thinks about when he kisses her lips? When (or if) she sucks him off - who's face (or other bodypart) is he seeing in her mouth? When she caresses his cheek, what does that remind him of? - I don't think they are anywhere near a good relationship - too bad she fucked it up - their marriage sounded wonderful prior to that..

I also wonder why she did it, when she was so adamant earlier that he not leave her -- she "couldn't live without him" or something to that affect. B.S.

Her shrink advises her to never see Bill again but he's going to force it? That's just idiotic. Why would he want to see Bill again? Also idiotic. Who gives a fuck about the brother who did your wife? Protect your family (wife kids) before you worry about outsiders, and yes brothers/sisters/mom & dad are all outsiders when it comes down to it.

oh? he will alway's have his doubt's he is a wimp, and she? i think she is a cheating bitch! ...........

No contest, the author designed a "reconciliation at any cost" ending when a perfectly justifiable ending would/should have been divorce from the slut wife. Additionally, Shaman43's comments: "Sometimes revenge is best when love is allowed to take control and humiliation is shunned." Shows stupidity at its worse POV, what a completely asinine thing to comment on.

Hell, I think he made a mistake taking Ruth back, though he was obviously pretty miserable without her. A 1 time thing with counseling, but to tke back the brother no way. Especially if he has the wife's counseler talling her to stay away from the brother he still wants to force reconciliation? He's a fool. Obviously she has feelings for the brother, I'm suprised she didn't go to live with bro in the first place.

I found your story site this afternoon and just re-read this and several other stories. I read them first when I discovered Literotica and they were among the first stories I read here. I haven't read the comments and I never read them originally because I was never much interested in the commenting aspect, just the stories. So I'm not sure but probably there was a lot of discussion about what a cheating bitch she was and what a wimp he was. Doesn't matter. This story and a few others you've posted convinced me that while there are other writers as good as you are here, I don't think there's anybody better. This is a classic. I've read a lot of other stories, both erotic and in my lifetime regular (sf, fantasy, horror, mainstream), and this stands in the first rank of anything I've ever read. You're a master of emotion, of drawing readers into the head of your characters. I've never had my wife cheat on me with my brother, but I doubt the emotions would be much different than you've described. The emotions are raw, the ending is tentative and believable. It's not even a happy ending because everything could still fall apart, but its a HOPEFUL ending. As to the wife, she broke her husband's heart. How do you forgive someone for what he saw, particularly with his own brother. Should she have been punished more? Who the hell knows. One of the things that bothers me about most Lit stories is that readers act as though there be a balancing - an accounting - at the end. If you're bad enough and there aren't enough compensating factors entitling you to mercy, then you get torched! (Actually, I kind of like TorchTheBitch and I think his bark is worse than his bite.) Life isn't that way. Very few of us ever deserve the shit we get in this life, and I know damn well a lot of us don't deserve the good things we get. In my writing and my personal life, at least for a long time now, I've worked from the assumption that miserable rotten bastards sometimes do good and will have your back,and sometimes the people you love the most can hurt you the most and do. If you expect perfection, or even untrammeled goodness in the people around you, I think you can expect to be disappointed. Anyway, this one and the Story of a Marriage (I think that was the title) in my opinion would have to go onthe list of 100 best stories on this site.

And you know what makes the story so good? Your writing style. You do know your way around words, for sure. Good job!!

There was this awe she had with the brother, and certainly not with him from what I can tell. The careless woman did much to show how close family can get. What prompted her to act once, under such circumstances, the why not again? Adjustment and re-adjustment to lifes little twists and turns.

From what I read he was hit on and turned it down.

How exactly does that require forgiving?

waste of time

Good read. But you wrote the husband did t cheat so what is there to forgive

but story lacked heart - too contrived to make the reader care about the fate of any of these losers except the kids - self-involved losers bemoaning stupid shit instead of taking control of their lives makes everyone want to puke.

I am so confused; everything seems to be going along fine and then he decides to take the cheating slut back. Dong.......... And even plans to make peace with his backstabbing cocksucking brother. Unbelieveable......

Betrayal is something that happens, and worse when family. A ruthless life is not a bad thing, and a brother that is not spoken of , etc

With any brains in this story is Bill's wife

Writer,are you a Pom by any chance? Your gutless and wimpy attitude is typical for Brits.

The story itself is so disconnected and difficult to read that I wonder how you decided to write. It would be interesting to know.

Umm... what?

volunteers for Missionaries Of Charity wanted urgently. Cucks will be preferred.

What I didn't like is how long it took him to forgive or take her back. After all, she didn't have sex with Bill. It was only oral and that cannot make her pregnant.

The fact is that females of most species cheat. It is in their genes and based on natural selection so, even if she had of fucked Bill, he should have forgiven her.

The fact is he should have talked to her the following day and gave her another chance after being angry for a couple of weeks. Instead he put her, the children, and himself through months of pain and the expense of a divorce.

... stories here. Impeccable writing, strong and believable emotions, ending not as clear cut as some readers think... Different people make different choices, not all of us need to agree with them for a story to be good. The author guides us through the husband's emotions beautifully, right to the end. Sadly, some of the readers who leave comments, show their lack of any literary knowledge, not to mention their obvious issues. However an author is not obligated to write stories as psychotherapy for some of his readers.

over the two lovers, flick the match and walk away. Brother be damned!

God save any male you meet, you are obviously an immoral, cuckolding bitch who doesn't deserve to breath the same air as human beings!

I've been addicted to loving wives stories since working through a rough patch in my marriage this year. I've read the entire best of and most of the higher rated stories. This is one of the best in this genre that I have read to date!!

Good story. I sincerely believe an epilog or anothr chapter is in order to explore the reconciliation thoroughly. You laid good foundation about her doctor saying she shouldn't see his brother because she could regress. Also it would be nice to help jolene find herself. Please consider this. Thank you.

beautiful sweet tender story. Both messed up, both loved each other, both forgave. Can we have another chapter? Great job

some of whom manage to be the most prolific writers on this site, without ever producing a story, I felt this one.

I'm one of the lucky ones with a long lasting marriage to a wonderful lady whose faithfulness is beyond question. If, however, she had slipped, I think my reactions and actions would have been very similar to those of the husband in this story.

There is a bottom line that I'm very happy with her and would be totally and unredeemably tragic without her. Am I alone? If so, I'm very sorry for a lot of miserable men out there.

Bil's wife said fuck it filed for divorce and moved on. John on the other hand. Has the kids and turn in to this sappy wimp and can't live with out her. Just goes to show why women are winning the battle of the sexes.

by an ugly ass bitch and is carrying that shit around, too bad he is too stupid to see what a well-written story this is. Sir Thopas said "the cucks need revenge stories, the avenging angel needs happy endings." So true. Good read.

And I love it. Love your stream-of-consiousness style. The main character's reactions seem realistic to me. My perspective is different. I've been married to the same woman for 43 years. I was a philanderer for most of that time. Like 80 women. maybe 90. A real asshole bad husband. But somehow, through her grace, we've made it. I don't know if she has ever cheated on me - no signs of it - but I know that the revelation would have laid me low. Unfair? Yes, to be sure. But that's the way we are. Men especially. I like to think I would have acted like this. And not blown apart. But I say, bravo for a well-written, heartfelt tale. Thanks.

and what will make a diffence in the outcome, TK U MLJ LV NV

Every time I read comments, I would go looking for DWORCOCK(dwornock) comments.I want to give him the pity of being prejudice martian. I thank him as well for making me laugh. I don't have to agree or go against his comments, but what i found was his AMAZING reasoning of certain stuff. 6 STARS FOR U DWORCOCK!

Dwornick has a special way looking at things an in this case he is spot on . now I'm going to see a shrink !! Damn

Superb writing. lliterate imbeciles (just read their comments, their stories are unreadable) blather and piss themselves but whether or not they get back together the writing is top notch. Closet fags and cucks are just scared shitless celibates puffing to disprove a negative.

Intelligent and well-written. Dares to make the reader think rather than feed them what they want to hear. Extremely strong on depicting how people really behave and acute on psychological truth. Would love to read more like this.

Normally i don't like the cuckhold/makeup stories but this one shows the emotional trauma of family on the verge of disintegration. Well written

Second time I have read it, and it comes off as the husband's a pussy. I never said it was bad writing you dick weeds. But please, he needs to move on. Cheating is bad enough but to fuck your husband brother is twice as bad. Only a sorry assed skank would fuck family. But some of you dick lickers out there, this might have touch close to home. What so heart wrenching, knowing that you brother tapped your wife. It just goes to show how much of a loose whore she is. Next time John should charge, since he is married to a whore. Make some money off the slut.

Gets 5 stars for the quality of writing alone. The storyline? Good, too. It was, apparently, a one-time slip; though it is never really covered. Seems likely, under the circumstances. Imperfect information, but presumably bro put the moves on the wife; she was susceptible (secret crush, maybe a couple glasses of wine, hubby asleep, not going all the way, maybe that 'get out of jail free card' in the back of her mind, etc., etc.). Wife accepted the consequences of her actions, hard to believe a second slip is very likely. The author really takes the reader on an emotional ride. The protag's path was an interesting one, and the author did a great job of showing all the collateral damage. Hard to believe he will ever get his relationship with his brother back. I pretty much want to go hug my wife now.

I can't believe I've never read this author before, and I wish he was still writing.

The scene at the top of page 3 up until the *** is one of the most powerful in all of Literotica. Makes me wonder which actress could best pull it off. Not Meryl Streep, she's too cold. It needs somebody who can totally lose control in front of the camera.

This is good writing, pure and simple. If you don't like the content, too bad; it's not your story. Your opinion says more about you than the author.

This is one of the best stories here. I didn't want to like it. I still don't want to like it. I can't help but respect the husband. But, I don't WANT to respect him. This story is way too much like reality. Life is seldom black and white, and with marriage, family, and love, we all muddle through. I am glad I hadn't read this before my own brother slept with my ex, because I might have been able to deal with him, and eventually he and I might have found a way for both of us to at least stay alive, even if we couldn't have been brothers.

Very nicely done!

Thanks.