by PossessivePirate
I love the storyline , it promises to be an amazing write, but please make it longer, one page is for noobs, and will begin to irritate ppl, we want more !, but well done, had to gi ve you 5 stars even though it is one page long
An interesting start to the story but this seems to be just skimming the plot. We want more to the chapter than one page, a short one at that. You have gotten my attention please strive to keep it, a few minor errors but what do I expect for the cost.
Your writing style really greatly improved from chapter 1. It made it that more pleasant a read. Good job!
Now on to longer chapters, and this story idea could go places. :-)