The Luckiest Man Alive Ch. 01-02

Everyone having sex is over eighteen. There is plot, character development, straight sex, lesbian sex, twincest, themes of slavery and liberation, pagan religions and way too much Latin. You have been warned!

Welcome to pornography.

The story that I am writing now, I have no choice but to tell and to tell it honestly, accurately and completely, my story must be pornography.

So you may well be asking, who, by the horny hosts of high heaven, are you?

Fair question.

I'm the luckiest man alive.

And if you have any brains at all, you're probably thinking -- how the fuck do you know that? How can anyone honestly call themselves the luckiest man alive. In all of the world? You? You're fucking nothing!

About that, you are not wrong. I have been nothing. I have been less than nothing.

But now, today, I can look straight, calm and clear into your eyes and even if you are almighty Zeus sitting on Mount fucking Olympus, I can be one hundred percent cold sober certain. I am the luckiest man living in all of this wide, wicked, corrupt but ultimately beautiful world. I do not blink. I do not stumble or stutter. I do not doubt. This I know.

I sense your skepticism. You would be a fool not to doubt my audacious claim. Or a child. My story is for neither.

Sit back then, relax and listen now as I defend my thesis. Even if you are not persuaded, I can promise you -- this will be pornography.

Behold, the story of the luckiest man alive.

Chapter I

My birth alone would be deemed fortunate enough by most, for I was born both the legitimate second son of the Baron Hadrian Vetronius and the elder fraternal twin of his first daughter, Gaia. As a child I knew neither hardship nor want for I was raised safe in the Domus Mille Equi. That mouthful of Old Imperial translates to the House of a Thousand Horses -- a somewhat ironic title since not even a single horse has ever stepped foot within those stately halls. Instead, we kept our hundred strong herd of horses housed in the almost equally grand stables, just south of the main house beside the slave quarters.

Living here ensured a life of almost unfathomable wealth, opulence and privilege sheltered on the Baron's sprawling estate. It is forgivable if you are envious. Everyone in the Barony of Portia envied me back then and rightly so. Magnus, my older brother, was destined to succeed father so upon him fell all the prestige and the pressure. I was the carefree second in line. Barring catastrophe, there was nothing ahead of me but a life of leisure and luxury. Then, two years ago, that catastrophe arrived like lightning from the blue. My brave but foolish brother was slain in glorious battle at the behest of his Emperor. I miss him intensely, daily, genuinely. But this is not his story.

My story instead began upon my eighteenth birthday. By baronial decree there was to be a great ball. This grand occasion celebrated not a single happening but instead a confluence of occasions. First, of course, it celebrated the mutual birthday of two of the Baron's children, my sister and myself. Second, It also lauded Gaia's recent graduation as high school valedictorian and her acceptance to the intensely prestigious Collegium Septem Stellarum, the College of the Seven Stars. Third, it marked my admission to the Imperial Academy as an officer in training. I was to follow in the footsteps of my father into the legions. Fourth, finally, and perhaps most importantly, it signified that both my sister and myself would at summer's end be leaving the House of a Thousand Horses and embarking upon our own lives.

It was for that reason that this grand celebration was also, for me, a time of joy mixed in equal measure with melancholy. Yes, I wanted desperately to be my own man away from my father's shadow. Gods, I wanted that more than my next breath! But equally I regretted that I would soon be losing her. My twin sister and I had barely spent a single day apart in our eighteen years of life. She is etched into my every memory and everything good that I am comes from her. Gaia and me would soon be living on opposite sides of the country.

If you knew my sister you would immediately understand my sorrow, my loss. Gaia was a goddess. Being fraternal twins, we were recognizably related -- both about the same build and height. I was only a scant inch taller at an even six feet. We were both slight and blonde. But where I was a rather average looking fellow, Gaia was a vision.

She was tall and lissome, yet a miraculous balance of the lean and curvaceous feminine form. She wore her golden tresses long and they seemed to always catch the light, becoming spun gold. Her eyes were pale sapphire. Her skin was purest cream. Her smile -- the morning sun. Her laughter music. Her gaze was heartbreak.

"Gaius!" she called to me shortly before the ball was slated to commence. "Gaius!" she repeated. "It's here!"

Her voice arrested me from my brooding and I spun to face my sister as she almost collided with me. I instead put my arms around her waist and brought her into a brotherly hug.

"What has you so riled?" I asked smiling.

I then noticed that she was concealing something behind her back. But honestly that's not what held my attention. How could I focus upon anything but her in my arms? She was already made up for the ball. Her hair was high, a woven halo of golden thread framing her angelic face. Her eyes sparkled with pure delight.

She wore an elegant gown of deepest cerulean silk, dark blue and subtly patterned with variations of our family's crest -- the mighty Vetronian stallion. Her gown was elegant, exquisite even, but plunging and accentuated her long delicate neck, adorned dramatically with a triple string of champagne pearl holding a pendant of diamonds framing a single Sri Lankan sapphire almost exactly the color of her eyes. Her breathing told me she had run to find me and her stunning bosom heaved hypnotically before me.

Then she unveiled it before me. "Isn't it beautiful, Gaius?"

She bore for me a blade. I knew it instantly. The weapon had been commissioned months earlier and crafted at great expense, but had been, alas, delayed in shipping. I feared it would not arrive in time for our birthday, but here it was. It had been delivered at the very last minute and Gaia had, most urgently, brought it to me.

"A vision," I whispered speaking as much of her as the sword.

But let me not undersell the weapon! It was three and half feet of gently curved folded steel crafted by the efforts of a master swordsmith. It was hilted and guarded with spring steel, functional, yet fully adorned with the finest gold filigree, and capped by elephantine ivory graven into a stallion's head. The regal beast, like my sister, sported sapphire eyes. The sword was sheathed in a scabbard of black tooled leather bearing our family crest rendered in delicately worked gold. The blade was razor sharp and ready for war but opulent enough to be worn in the presence of the Emperor himself.

Swords of course were no longer practical weaponry. This was the eighties! But even in the 2780^th year since the founding of the Eternal City, the officer's gladius remained an essential symbol of the elite. Was a nobleman without his sword even noble at all? This blade was mine now and I sensed, instinctually, my destiny was somehow interwoven with the weapon. This proved, soon enough, absolutely correct.

I carefully clipped and hung the scabbard from my belt. I felt its fine weight. "I'll wear it tonight, not that anyone will notice."

"Not notice? Your being ridiculous..." she seemed genuinely startled by my words.

"The entire assembly will only have eyes for you, dear sister!"

She giggled. "I don't know, Gaius. I think there will be more than a few ladies eager to handle your sword."

I rolled my eyes at her. "Such tawdry talk, young lady! Fear not for my virtue, though. I'll have father there to keep me safe from temptation and fun."

She laughed. "Oh, you're too hard on him, Gaius. He loves you. Would he have commissioned the sword if he did not?"

"All he loves is his power, position and name," I brooded.

"All of which he'll give to you, dear brother -- in due time," she said with a smile.

I shook off my funk. "Oh, ignore me. I'm just anxious. Thank you for bringing me this blade. I'll wear it proudly tonight. Hmmm... a sword needs a name." I tested the weapon's weight, hefted its mass. It was well balanced and even undrawn, I knew it was wicked sharp.

"Yes!" she exclaimed. "What will you call it?"

"I have it! Anesidora!" I declared, drawing it forth from its scabbard for the first time and taking a single singing swipe of the saber. "It means 'giver of gifts'."

"It is also an epithet of the goddess Gaia," she said, smiling that wicked little smile of hers that I cherished more than breath.

"Always the scholar," I replied with a smile of my own. "Anyways, I think I hear the band starting up. They'll start introducing our guests soon."

"Well, we wouldn't want to miss any of that tedious business, would we?" she said.

"Dearest Gaia, would you do me the great and profound honor of being my date to the ball?"

She smiled, with the most pure and genuine radiance, "How can I ever be anything but yours?"

Arm in arm, we coupled and walked together towards our gathering gala. I think then, at that fleeting wondrous moment, I was the happiest I had ever been, walking beside her that night holding her close. What ever happened, I knew then I would work always to be with her.

How naïve that now must seem.

***

The party began well enough.

We walked through an honor guard who saluted our entry. "Hail Vetronius!" they cried, presenting their blades and trumpeting our arrival.

If you have never been inside the main ballroom of the House of a Thousand Horses, I fear that any description I offer will miss the mark of this grand architectural spectacle. Sometimes called the Silva Equorum (literally the Forest of Horses) it was a vast chamber, columned with beams of gilt marble and dark Austrean myrtle wood. Everywhere, both subtly and monumentally, were stallions emerging forth from both the rich dark wood and golden stone.

Tonight, the palatial hall was filled with music. A string quartet and famous tenor flown in from the heart of the Old Empire ensured that this Forest was never silent. Here and there moved also amongst the splendid colonnade a sea of fretting servants, getting everything in absolute readiness for the legion guests who were already emerging from a long line of limousines assembling even now at our doorstep.

The party goers began to arrive in the hall with the failing of the sun. I grabbed two flutes of ridiculously old champagne, sweet, golden and softly effervescent, from a silver serving tray -- one for myself and another for Gaia. Then, alas, came the interminable introductions. There was no getting around them. Protocol demanded this formal admixture of bravado and boredom.

Every noble of any rank in the imperial province of North Austrea was here and a few even came from our neighbors to the north in Augusta and from our larger sister province, South Austrea. Altogether, there were representatives of every major house along the west coast of the Imperium Novum Romanum, sometimes colloquially called America thanks to its Latin discoverer Americus Vespasian. And this bevy of notables didn't come empty handed.

When there are this many highborn in one place the gifts quickly get insane. It simply wasn't sufficient in such rarified company to give a merely appropriate gift. No, this was an opportunity to flaunt your family's wealth and perhaps earn the favor of the most powerful noble in North Austrea, my pater et princeps, my father and lord. Being well liked by the Baron meant a place in Austrean high society. Earning his displeasure meant exclusion. That is why tonight this mob of feckless nobility buried us in gold.

I personally received almost two million denarii in cashiers checks and easily saleable jewelry. I'm fairly sure Gaia received considerably more. For her suitors, tonight wasn't just a matter of pleasing father. These poor fools also desperately wanted to win her eye, her smile, her heart. Combine buxom blonde beauty with exalted station and you have my sister. The line of would-be worshippers and pining paramours was ridiculous.

Then the speeches. This is when the wine became absolutely essential. Father thanked everyone who needed to be thanked. From Emperor on down. It took three glasses of Gallic champagne to get through that one alone. And then he turned to lucky me.

He publicly, formally, somberly even, once again acknowledged me as his son and rightful heir and then explained how much I was exactly like him. Also, he proudly boasted, I was off to the legions to serve the Empire and bring honor to the family name. Again, just like him. Everyone applauded and every codger with a service badge bombarded me with war stories about when they joined the legion for the rest of the evening. Champagne continued to help to make them barely interesting.

But father's real doting only came with his introduction of Gaia. The Baron unreservedly loved his daughter and showered her with praise and adulation. It was not hard to note his favorite amongst the pair of us. I wondered if he had anguished privately over naming me his heir. But no -- father was old school. The title goes to the eldest male and that was, to his great disappointment, me. It had to be me now that Magnus was gone. My older brother was the intended heir. I was the spare. I could tell father hoped military service would make me into a worthy successor. His utter lack of certainty was also not hard to note.

Finally the speeches wrapped up and the dancing began. It would have been easy to sink into a funk over father's formality and favoritism. But then there was her. How could I be unhappy with Gaia at my side?

We kept close company almost all night. We danced together. We laughed and sipped champagne together. By all the gods, this was our fucking party and as soon as we could, we took it back from father. There were legions of our friends here, outnumbering the old guard by a considerable margin. When you are the heir after all, you have a thousand friends and none.

I gave commands! We ordered the music more modern and up tempo and soon the complexion of the party changed dramatically. The elderly retreated to their corners and the young danced with reckless abandon. I got fucking lit! Gaia and I, we circled on that dance floor. We stared into each other's eyes like we were the lord and lady of the fucking Earth. We danced, fine and frenzied, for hours. I dare say, it was a good time.

Then later in the evening by pure chance, I, seeking more champagne for myself and my lady, passed within easy earshot of one particular bore, a bully about my age named Marcus Brontius. I knew him, alas. He was a noble of high rank and low regard. He was busy loudly boasting how he had gotten accepted to the Collegium Septem Stellarum thanks to a wrestling scholarship. He had a plan -- make his mark in college, then go pro and (here came calamity) fuck my sister right in her highborn ass.

I could have walked on. I could have pretended like I didn't hear it, fetched my drinks and quickly gotten back to the dance. But I did not.

I stopped. I turned. I got treated to several more seconds of detailed exposition about how sweet Gaia's butt would feel dancing up and down on his dick. How she would beg for it. That was enough.

I laid into the son of a bitch. It was that fast. I was ramped up by champagne and impossible, unattainable sister lust. I won't deny either. I wanted to punch him and very nearly did. But instead, I made my opening salvo verbal.

"What did you say about my sister, you son of a dead syphilitic whore?"

It was a tailored insult. I didn't focus on insulting him, you see. I insulted his mother. Marcus' mother had tragically died a few years ago and the Lady Brontius had been dogged by rumors that the disease that did her in was venereal. It was by any measure a cruel and unfair scandal. I believe she died of some sort of inoperable cancer. But, the wound was yet raw and my insult produced predictable results. He roared and took a swing at me.

That was what I wanted.

I stepped back. The enraged son of a bitch swung wild and wide and I kicked him fiercely right in the nuts. This little maneuver was a favorite of Gaia and I's personal defensive trainer Jo Dan, a seven time Olympic gold medalist judo master. We hired him because my family had money, you see.

As Marcus Brontius bumbled backwards, clutching his screaming, impacted balls, I grabbed him by the collar and yelled in his face, "Never speak another word about my sister again!" And then I threw him down upon the beautiful marble floor here in the Forest of Horses. It was all in all a rather glorious, even triumphant, moment.

Then father showed up and ruined it.

"Gaius, with me! Guards, help this man."

I was dragged off into the Baron's private study. Nothing good ever happened there. The door was barred and guarded. Only then did my dear father tenderly express to me, his son and heir, his most sincere concerns and true feelings.

"You're a miserable fucking failure, Gaius! A blight upon my line! A curse upon my legacy! Will you miss no opportunity to embarrass me with your temper?"

I made a terrible mistake then. I stood up for myself. "What was I to do, father? He took a swing at me!"

My father focused his severe gaze fully upon me then. His blue eyes burned with molten indignity. His bearded face became a great scowl. This was as angry as I think I'd ever seen the Baron and he was done yelling. He spoke to me then in a voice like a low lion's growl.

"You think I'm stupid," he hissed. "You think I don't know exactly what has transpired here in my own house. Clever Gaius," he said mockingly, "you would have me believe that this drunken idiot from a minor house wanted to pick a fight with you, my heir. Here! Surrounded by my guards!"

Father gave me no chance to answer. He wasn't done with me yet.

"You provoked him, Gaius! You goaded him, provoked him, likely because he gave you the slightest offense. You have to be smarter than that, Gaius! Your temper is a grave weakness. Grave, Gaius. Almost as grave as your unnatural lust for your twin sister."

The last punched me right in the gut. I suddenly couldn't breathe. Terror took me.

"Oh, you look surprised," spat the Baron. "How could my idiot of a father possibly know that? How could he possibly have divined my most precious, closely guarded secret?" He laughed scornfully right in my face.

"I'm the damn Baron, child! My agents are everywhere and you, son, have scarce interest in hiding your desire to fuck my daughter. She's your own damn sister, Gaius! You aren't some peasant pig farmer! You are heir to the Imperial House of Vetronius! You could have any noble girl in the barony and you choose her?"

I am lost now. I am helpless before his lashing wrath. I am encircled by his fury. The Baron glowers wordlessly for several long moments. I consider trying to answer his charges. I only sit in miserable silence.

"I'm breaking up this foolish tryst, Gaius. I'm putting half the empire between you two. I'm giving you a chance to honorably serve in the legions and turn your life around. If you don't, heed this warning well for it shall be my last. I'll name your sister heir, tradition be damned, and use my power to see you are posted someplace so remote, so distant you can't embarrass either of us ever again."

He stood and approached deadly close, drowning me in his shadow. His eyes focused on me with dagger intensity.