All Comments on 'The Maid & the Mrs.'

story takes to long to get to the action . when it does it kind of fizzels out. there isn't enough girl on girl action. next time try a little more action add some toys and lots of oral sex.cause right now it sounds like the maid is just jcking her boss off.

The story is very well written although I realize unlike others that this is more then likely a work in progress,you have to realize that some are not just here to enjoy the story there just looking for a story long enough to get them off, I hope you continue.

Contrary to other comments, this story is not well written. There exist a half dozen gramatical / spelling errors, which makes me wonder. Does the author not have spell check?

The story about the maid doing the new princess has been written a thousand times, and this one brings no new light to a tired senario.

But the truth is that I made carbonara last night. I used the standard recipe: 1lb. of bacon, cut and cooked crisp, 1 lb. of pasta, 8 oz. of parmegiano, 2 eggs, fresh black pepper, 4 oz. of bacon greese, 2 oz of butter, liberal olive oil. Cook the pasta al dente, then toss everything in a large bowl. My SO asked me to make it for her for mother's day.

who could say anything was wrong with this coupling. To me I loved the way these two women came together and enjoyed themselves. It was erotic, with both women sharing the good feeling that came over both of them.

who could say anything was wrong with this coupling. To me I loved the way these two women came together and enjoyed themselves. It was erotic, with both women sharing the good feeling that came over both of them.

First, I liked the way these two women came together.It was loving and tender. You did have a good story with a beginning and an end though the beginning was a bit long.

More action with less lead in would have been better. Why? Because readers get bored and leave a what appears to be a dull story that isn't going anywhere very quickly. In a short story, you have about one paragraph to capture your reader's attention and make that reader want to read your story instead of clicking out and on to a different one.

Last, your spelling needs a lot of work. Why take the time to bother about spelling and grammar? Because a good author lulls the reader into a story trance, and causes the reader to imagine the scenes as though they are real. A misspelled word, or improper punctuation distracts the reader's attention and jars the reader right out of that story trance. If it happens too often the reader will leave your story to find one that's easier to read.

Is it just me, or is the idea of a maid that is married, has kids, and HATES work, would fantasize about her BOSS?! She is the one giving her the work. Plus, not once did she go, "Hey! I'm married. I wonder what would happen if word of this ever got out." Geez, this is why I can't enjoy erotic stories anymore. Characterization sucks, and describing sex is like trying to fit a locomotive down a toilet. You can't do it(unless you have a monstrous toilet, which we don't need to know.)

Very very good