All Comments on 'The Man Who would be Queen Ch. 05-07'

Story bounces around so much that the reader loses interest. After 7chapters we should have at least some answers. Character development is fine but dragging it out and still not answering anything is getting old.

I wrote these chapter this way on purpose. I was trying to create a story that read like watching a mystery on TV. Novel concept. Short scenes with several developing plots. Not working for some. I have received emails of those that really like the story though. I'll look at the styling again.

I read your preamble to these 3 chapters and I wanted to tell you that I think you have accomplished your goals with this story. It is very intriguing and there is certainly enough mystery. After reading this submission I'm of the opinion that the Queen is trying to remove Dexter from the royal line by the forced feminization but without having him killed. Then she can marry him off to one of her supporters. I hope Dexter and Angela can be together for the remaining time before the 6 month deadline. I have a feeling that this story will be rather long (a la Martin Hastings). Keep on writing!

This was a real upswing from last. I believe that it's a worthwhile story and while I'm not especially interested in the eh female dick on male dick action I love the dynamic.

Thanks for sharing

It has enough moving parts that you can see the direction of the mystery without knowing all the parts. Also no sex is w/e if people want quick gratification they have plenty of other stuff to do.

I am enjoying this story immensely. The pace is nice and quick, allowing the development of several characters in each chapter. Im looking forward to thee next chapters to see what happens next.

I really want to know who is/was Olivia, and what is/was his/her relationship (if any) to Dexter.

I'm enjoying this yarn immensely but there are far too many grammar and spelling mistakes.

Please get it proofread.

Seriously it’s like an antiwok drama and I love it. The messed up thing is they are doing stuff like this or close enough IRL. Great work. IDK if it’s supposed to be political but if it is deliberate then I want more of this. If it’s not then it’s still a very interesting dynamic.