The Mandela Effect

So, he had a nickname, now, "The Squirt Thief." He laughed to himself.

He was full of adrenaline. Something insane was happening, and he didn't know what to do. He considered telling someone, anyone. Calling the authorities, or calling a friend. Then he realized the authorities would probably have him locked up for messing with the device. If it was government property, they'd be angry, or if it was alien, they'd be disturbed. Either way, he wouldn't be having a good time, and he certainly wouldn't be able to use it any longer. If he told a friend, they'd tell a friend, and eventually he'd be dealing with the authorities.

He resolved to go back again, tonight, and experiment some more. For now, though, he was starving, and had no food worth eating, so he went to the grocery store.

As he walked through the store, he felt really calm and confident. He no longer felt like a sex starved geek. As he looked for something good to buy, he thought for a moment, and then decided he felt like a fucking porn star!

A beautiful, busty, curvy Indian woman with long, gorgeous and straight black hair walked up and started looking in the reach in refrigerator case next to the one he was looking in. He saw she was looking at vegan chorizo.

"The soy one is fantastic, the pea protein one is meh," he said, smiling at her.

She smiled shyly, yet brightly at him, and said, "Thanks."

"You know, I don't normally do this, but I'm feeling different today," he pulled out one of his business cards, gave it to her, and said, "My name's Rip, I'd love to make you a vegan meal sometime. Call me, if you want."

She took the card, and he walked away.

Later, at his house, his phone rang.

"Hello?" came the soft voice on the other end.

"Yo! You've got Rip, wudupwidit?" he said.

"What? Is this the vegan chorizo guy?" asked the voice.

Rip was filled with joy! He said, "Oh, hi, I'm sorry, yes, it's me! Do you want to take me up on my offer?"

"Yes, I normally wouldn't, but you have a nice glow about you, and I get zero bad vibes from you." she said. Rip loved her accent. She added, "My name is Parvati, by the way."

"Well, dinner, then, tonight?" asked Rip.

"Tonight is no good. Tomorrow evening, maybe, at 6?"

"Tomorrow at 6 works. Do you want to meet somewhere?" he asked.

"Sure, call me tomorrow after five and we'll figure out where and have dinner." she replied.

Chapter 4

That night Rip walked briskly into the forest. Moments later, he was looking at his porn feed again. He decided to try to do all the rest of the videos he'd saved. He thought about one that showed a busty Latina masturbating, and was launched into it. She was masturbating, and when she pulled her fingers out of her drenching wet pussy, a fountain shot out of her. He put his mouth over it and slurped it into his mouth. It was squirt! The Latina smiled at him, for a moment, but then her face became one of rising ecstasy again as she kept masturbating.

He knew she was going to squirt again, and he really wanted to drink it, but realized that the machine pulled him out whenever each video ended, so he thought about being in a different video before this one ended, which was during the next squirt. The next thing he knew, he was kneeling right where the pussies of two beautiful, curvy women were rubbing their pussies together. As they started to squirt, he leaned down and let them both squirt on his face. Then he turned to the right, and let the moaning brunette squirt into his mouth. He smiled as he tasted her, and found it to be delicious squirt. Turning to the left got the redhead's squirt on his tongue, and it, too, was so tasty he felt a wave of pleasure.

"Oh my god! Get in there! Drink it up you sexy man!" said the redhead.

He stood up, and decided to test his limits. He walked over and stuck his dick into the redhead's cunt, after wiggling between the two women. As he fucked her, the brunette squirted on his back, while the redhead continued gushing on his stomach, while moaning, and saying "Fuck yeah, your dick is amazing!". He knew his time was almost up, so he thought about another video.

He found himself behind two women. All he could see from where he was kneeling was their big, round, brown asses. One was lying on her back, and the other on top of her, facing her, with her nice, heart shaped ass in the air. They both had their legs spread, so he could see their pussies. He remembered the pattern, so he put his mouth above the lower one, and she gushed a fountain onto his tongue. It was squirt! He couldn't believe it. This one, since the women weren't fingering each other or anything, he'd always been suspicious about. Yet, she tasted like tangy water. Next he tilted his head in the other direction, and let the woman on top spray into his mouth. It had the flavor of water mixed with female come and the taste of pussy, but definitely not piss! He would never forget what it was like to have a woman piss on him, and into his mouth, not after eighteen women did it in a row during that piss bukkake!

He focused on a different video, and he was in front of a computer graphics animated image of a busty, curvy woman from a video game. He laughed to himself. This wasn't even real! What would her squirt taste like? Static? Electricity? She was leaning back on one hand, and masturbating with the other in a squatting position, and thrust her hips forward as she gushed, then back again and her squirt stopped, and then forward again for another long blast. He held his mouth open and tasted her. It tasted like water, and he walked over and stuck his dick inside of her, and pumped a few times. She was his favorite video game character, and he'd always dreamed of this. She moaned in pleasure, and smiled at him. Time was up, he knew, so he moved on.

Next he was on a bus, sitting next to a gorgeous Latina with wide hips and massive natural breasts. She had her dress pulled up and was masturbating, and then started gushing. He leaned forward and caught some in his mouth. It was piss. He spit it out and moved on.

He was in front of another gorgeous Latina in a bedroom. She was also squatting, and leaning back on one hand, while working her clit with the other. She began to squirt, and something had always made Rip think this chick was 100% coming, so he put his mouth right up against her pussy, and drank it all. He was right! It was like smooth spring water.

In the next video, he was in front of a masturbating blonde. She started to gush, but she had her hand in the way, so it was going all over the place. Rip grabbed a nearby drinking glass and put it under her. Once it was almost full of her squirt, he sipped at it, and then said, "Yup!" and downed the rest in several large gulps. As her orgasm waned and she composed herself, the woman clapped for him and smiled.

"Real men drink squirt!" she cheered.

Now he was back on a different bus, but the same Latina as the other bus video, he knelt and waited, and she sprayed into his mouth. It was squirt this time! He couldn't believe it.

He went into every single video on his saved list. All one hundred of them. At the last one, he watched a busty brown woman squirting into a curvy, small breasted, round assed woman's mouth. He had always wondered about this one, because it didn't look like piss, but the small breasted woman let the squirt pour out of her mouth, and didn't drink any of it. So he leaned down, beneath her, and let the squirt that was pouring into, and then out of the woman's mouth flow into his, and swallowed. It was squirt, too!

"Why are you wasting this hot juice?" he asked, playfully, as the busty woman stopped orgasming for a second, and started masturbating and working her way up to another gushing climax. "This is the nectar of the gods!" he added.

He playfully, gently pushed her out of the way, and let the busty woman spray into his mouth as she started coming again. He swallowed every time she filled his mouth, until she was spent. Then he looked at the smaller breasted woman, and smiled. She leaned in and kissed him. Then the busty woman squirted another spray, and the smaller breasted woman caught it in her mouth, and swallowed it, and then kissed him again.

He blinked, and, as always, saw his ceiling.

Chapter 5

Rip leapt out of bed and ran to his computer. He had hundreds of notifications. The internet was on fire with talk about "The Squirt Thief." Countless people swore he'd always been there, but there were always those accurately pointing out that something fucking bizarre was going on. Theories ranged from time travel, to merely that the videos had been digitally altered, or even replaced with different versions.

He was amused to see that his performance and chiding of the woman for spitting out the squirt got rave reviews. Hundreds of commenters were praising him for drinking her, and convincing the woman to do so, too.

"This is it, this is the good timeline. The squirt thief is setting things straight!"

"The chick realized she was missing out, and took a drink straight from the fountain! All hail the squirt thief!"

"I'm telling you morons, this guy was ALWAYS in these videos!"

"Yeah, then if everyone knows who he is, what's his name?"

"Who the fuck knows? None of the videos are professional, except the bukkake one, and he looks like he just barged onto the set lol! No great mystery, just a straight up bona fide porn hero!"

"I like how all the women look thrilled that someone is actually drinking them, and not just wasting all their effort lol!"

"Dang, bro is thirsty af."

"This guy has a time machine, and is changing history each time he goes back into one of these videos."

"It's not time travel, someone is altering the videos only, not the rest of reality. I actually know one of the women who's video he showed up in, and she has no idea who he is, and doesn't remember him being there."

"Is there like an application I can fill out to have this guy's job? Please? I'll do it for free, seriously."

He could have read them all day, and they were still coming in, so he pulled himself away, and worked for the day. He also made a list, and noted that only in five of the videos had the women been pissing, and the rest were squirt. He figured that this was probably because most of the videos were ones he had picked precisely because they were not professional, but rather looked like the women were actually coming, and the squirt was clear and pure looking.

He already knew that in professional porn it's almost always piss, as he had disgustingly proven true with the bukkake video. In professional porn, the women are acting turned on, but really there's a director, a sound guy, and a bunch of takes being done with time gaps where nothing happens between which the viewer doesn't see, and commands being thrown at them, so they usually are not turned on. This means they can't actually fill up with squirt, since a woman's body cannot make squirt without arousal, so they just piss.

But, women who are making their own videos frequently are alone, filming themselves, at their own pace, and actually enjoy it, and have wild orgasms, which allows them to truly squirt. Or they are with a friend, or lesbian lover who actually makes them come. No director, just real women having fun and great orgasms.

In the evening, he was about to jet off to the forest when his phone rang. It was Parvati.

"Shit," he said to himself. He had to choose between this bizarre, reality altering machine, and a beautiful woman who he felt a real connection with. He thought for a moment, and then made up his mind, and answered the phone.

Chapter 6

He and Parvati had a wonderful dinner that night, and then had sex at his house. The next evening, he took her out into the forest to show her the machine, but it was gone. Rip was a lot less upset than he would have thought he would be, and he realized that was because he had picked correctly. Sure, maybe the machine would still be here if he had come last night, and maybe he could keep altering the videos, and drinking and fucking porn actresses, but this, what he had with Parvati, was real, and this was love. Besides, he'd always know he was The Squirt Thief, and it didn't matter if anyone else did anyway.

He had also started a trend on the internet of people delineating between real squirt and fake squirt that's actually just piss. Essentially, if they spit it out, people know it's piss. Almost all professional porn stars still spit, but most individuals making their own videos where a woman squirts into their mouth drink it, now. It ushered in an era where women making videos were making sure they were really coming, and enjoying sex. Real squirt became the name of the game, and even some professionals made shorter videos where the women were actually treated carefully to allow them to be in the right condition to have real orgasms and squirt.