All Comments on 'The Mark Ch. 04'

Write longer chapters please....

again too short and too much of a wait fix one or both.

Your story has some merit but is so peppered with errors that many people will not even bother to read it.

Worse would be better written as worst

hundredth should be hundreds

too be honest should be To be honest.

Those are just from the first paragraph.

If you are creating a non-human world, be clear in your own mind what the rules of that world are. If those rules vary from what people accept as normal that is alright but use your story to explain the differences. For a good example of non standard werewolf world read “more than just a fairy tale” by Jaisen. There are questions raised that you might want to consider or use the story or prelude to explain.

1. Why should he take over his parent’s pack if his parents are alive?

2. If true mates are part of your wolf world why would the council try to force him into a non true mating?

Think about your wolf world set out the rules and stay faithful to them.

I like your storyline, and you are talented.

@Honour Thank you for being honest and I will get an editor or just take a class to improve on my writing. Writing is something I enjoy to do so I guess it's only right I get better at it. As far you you saying I need to make up some rules I do have some made up. The reason his parents what to step down is because once he turned a certain age it's a choice they have whether or not they want to stay in that position. In my mind there's also a difference between a true mate and a mate. He could wait for his true mate to come or just mate with any other she-wolf. I don't know if I made that clear in the story but I apologize.

Loving this story, yes there are errors with spelling and "tenses" but I can't and won't knock you for them as I really suck at some of that as well. yes going in depth would help us readers understand things no doubt. I love LaShaya , I can't wait to see her wolf, I also can't wait to see how she handles Amana because I just know it has to happen.

Smelt should be smelled and don't write things like "left out the room". Overall, good story but an editor would help with grammatical and spelling errors.

Oh, hell.. bring on the next chapter... :)

You have nice ideas and could go in interesting directions, but the storytelling hurried and I found it difficult not to trip over spelling, grammar and phrasing. I'm still looking forward to the next chapter tho! Thank you :)

I decided to just get an editor. I messaged one and I'am just waiting for a reply back.

I do like your story. One thing I would appreciate is if the chapters were longer. They are so short, I am finished readin' in 5 minutes or so. So it seems choppy because of that. You can't really get into it before it is done.

Otherwise, I really enjoy it.

its great. i lov the characters and how each one fits in. i want to no more about the mark but i also want her mate to find her but she might think there evil cause they attacked Amanda.

one page does not make a chapter,,,just a quick 5 minute read,,,it has good merit,,and would like to read more from you,,,,but please,,,,give me something long enough to get my teeth into,,,,thanks...

Surely this is not the end?

Hope you continue

I'd love to read more of this...

Wish you continued with this story. Really like it for sure