The Marshal Pt. 03

"Did you make any decisions you really, truly, regret?"

"What are you asking?" he asked, but he already knew.

"What I'm saying, my dear Rooster, is you need to think about what you're doing before you ruin a good thing."

He glanced around. His desk was one of many in the large open room the deputies shared, but nobody was nearby, so they had a little privacy. "How'd you know?" he asked softly.

Her smile was soft. "Come on, Rooster, it's me. I saw how you two looked at each other when you put the vest on her. There was no hesitancy, no shyness. You didn't even ask permission. You'd obviously gotten comfortable touching her, and she was comfortable being touched by you. The question is, what are you going to do about it?"

"Do about it?"

She nodded at his computer. "Did you mention it in your report?"

He burned in shame. "No."

"Why not?"

"Because... I don't know."

"You do know. You didn't because you know, deep down inside, what you did wasn't wrong. It might be against some bureaucratic rule, but it wasn't wrong. I don't want you to throw away your career for nothing, and I don't want you eating yourself alive if you don't."

He held her gaze for a long moment, trying to decide what to do. "What would you do, if you were in my shoes?"

She smiled. "You damn well know what I'd do."

He shook my head. "No. You're a good cop. I need to hear it."

"So are you." She paused, her eyes softening. "If I were in your shoes, I'd tell it straight, and I wouldn't mention it, one way or the other. Then I'd go home, fix myself a stiff drink, and make peace with the decision. I saw how Han looked at you. You hurt nobody... nobody."

"You know what happens if I lie on my official report."

"Are you lying? Did you sleep in a chair against the door?"

"Yes, but--"

"Did you say that you did so each night?"

"Well, no, but--"

"Did you specifically mention anything at all about your nightly sleeping arrangements?"

"No, but--"

"Did you mention where you stopped for meals, what you ate, anything like that?"

"No, but that--"

"So, your report isn't complete in every detail. Nobody expects that, and nobody wants that, because none of that little stuff matters."

"Well, yes, but--" he said, still trying to get a word in edgewise.

"All that goes into the official report are the important details," she continued as if he hadn't spoken. "People makes certain assumptions from reports all the time. Nobody cares where you ate, when you went to the bathroom, where you slept, any of that shit, if it doesn't have any bearing on what happened. They assume if it isn't mentioned, it isn't important. What you and Han did had no bearing on what happened, it isn't important, so if some of people's assumptions are incorrect, that's not your fault, and it changes nothing."

He frowned. "That's semantics and hairsplitting, and you know it."

"Is it?" she asked. "How does where you slept have any bearing on anything?"

"I knowingly violated department policy."

"Yes you did. Bo-bae is getting the story out. You disobeyed a direct order by your superior, and by doing so, she is likely still alive because of it." She held his gaze for a long moment. "That, in my mind, is the only thing you have to answer for." She held his gaze for another long moment. "You're a good Marshal. The service needs you." She nodded and rose without another word.

He turned back to the screen. The pointer still hovered over the submit button. He pursed his lips, made his decision, and clicked the mouse. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He'd made a decision, he just hoped it was the right one.

Rob was preparing to go home and fix that stiff drink Lou suggested when Marshal Graves called. He took a deep breath to fortify himself and lifted the handset. "Cogburn."

"I've reviewed your report. I need to see you in my office. Now."

"I'll be right there."

Jenny looked at Rob as he entered and nodded her head at the marshal's door. He entered the office and shut the door. "You asked to see me."

"Your report, it's complete?" the Marshal asked without preamble, not looking up as he shuffled papers on his desk.

Rob kept his face carefully neutral. In for a penny, in for a pound. "Yes sir."

"Do you know how many departmental violations there are in that report, Deputy Marshal?"

"Several."

Graves paused his paper shuffling to gaze at Rob. "More than several."

"I stand by my decisions, Marshal. I made them with the best of intentions."

"I see. You knowingly violated a direct order from your superior. Not once, but multiple times. Perhaps I can forgive the last one, but your refusal to stop in Albuquerque, and your continued refusal to inform SDM Gwynn of your location brings your judgement into serious question. You contend those decisions were made in the best interest of Ms. Han?" the Marshal asked, his voice flat and emotionless.

A heavy weight settled in Rob's stomach. "Yes sir."

Marshal Graves' expression hardened. "You're a good deputy, but I cannot overlook your willful disregard of direct orders from your superior. I have no choice but to enter a reprimand into your permanent file. Do you have anything to say in your defense?"

"No sir."

"Very well." The Marshal looked down and began straightening the files on his desk again. "Due to the increasing bureaucracy and inefficiencies of the Marshal Service, it's likely that reprimand will become misplaced before it's entered into your file. Dismissed."

Rob blinked for a moment, trying to wrap his mind around what just happened. "Yes, sir." He turned for the door.

"And Deputy..." the Marshal said. Rob stopped and turned to face the man. Graves wasn't smiling. "Take a couple of days off to heal. I need you back at full strength as soon as possible. There's a lot of work to be done on this Han investigation."

"Yes, sir."

As Rob arrived back in the Deputy room, everyone was watching him with questioning eyes. He didn't know what to say and finally decided to go with the truth. He'd told enough lies for one day.

"He didn't fire me, but I've officially been reprimanded for willfully disobeying SDM Gwynn's orders." Everyone's face hardened. "The upside is, and I quote, 'Due to the increasing bureaucracy and inefficiencies of the Marshal Service, it is likely that the reprimand will be lost before it is placed in my file.'"

Everyone relaxed slightly and began to smile. Justice had been served. Rob had received a slap on the wrist so the Marshal could say Rob had been censured for not following orders, but his record would remain clean. It was a solution where everyone got something. The fact nobody asked about Bae and his sleeping arrangements while on the road was a bonus, and he was willing to let that sleeping dog lie. He caught Lou's eye, and she smiled as she nodded almost imperceptibly. It was time to go, have that drink, and make peace with all this.

He made his way to his small studio apartment so close to the Bronx Zoo that when the wind was right, he could sometimes hear the lions roar. His apartment was tiny but comfortable, with wood floors and two big windows overlooking Crotona Park across the street. He only had three rooms, a single large room making up his living room, dining room, and bedroom, with a tiny galley style kitchen and an equally small bathroom comprising the other two. He didn't need much space, plus it was convenient to shopping, the subway, entertainment, and Crotona Park where he did his running.

He entered and locked the door behind him, tossing his mail on the bar that separated his kitchen from the rest of his living space, and pulled down his little bit of home, a bottle of Allen's Coffee Brandy. He poured a splash into a glass, added an even healthier splash of Jamaican Rum, a weak splash of Campari, and a dash of Angostura bitters. He stirred it and then strained it over ice. He stirred it again with a finger, carried his glass to his chair, and slowly sat, grimacing with discomfort as he squirmed to find a comfortable way to sit. He took a sip from the glass, his lip curling slightly as the liquid burned so good. A couple of these and he wouldn't care if he was hurting.

He smiled and lifted his glass in a silent salute to Bae. He was hurting like hell now, but it'd been worth it. He took another sip of his drink as he wondered if he'd ever see her again. He'd given her his card so she could reach him, if she wanted to, once she was settled into her new life. He shouldn't have done that. Encouraging her to contact him was against every rule in the witness security book, but he hoped she did. After what they'd been through together, what was a phone call? He normally spent his vacations in Maine, but he'd be willing to visit other locations if there was a reason to go there.

He leaned his head back into his chair, a faint smile tugging at his lips. He'd like to see her again, but if she never called, he still had the memories. He took another sip of his drink, his smile spreading with the memories of their time together.