All Comments on 'The Master Ch. 01 - The Dinner'

Interesting, good premise but the grammatical errors are jarring and make the story difficult to read.

If you continue I'd recommend a good editor.

I would like it more if it was properly punctuated. May I suggest a friend proof reads, to correct to correct the grammar.

Could you **please** finish at least one of your ongoing stories before starting 3+ new ones?

Very hot, looking forward to the continuation of this story. It has much potential.

Please get an editor! Lots of wrong pronouns, he that should be she, etc. Rachels name changes to Raquel, etc. Good story, just really hard to read. Will not continue if it doesn't get better.

Mmmm I also wet more pleaxe

Interesting concept but way way too pushy. Judging by her literary tastes she is interested in BDSM, I liked the nod to the alternate social structure/ different version of earth. Honestly though why are they pushing her so hard into the lifestyle, it’s not exactly the best option using public humiliation and forcing it on her. It would be better handled on a one : one basis.

I do agree that you’d benefit hugely from an editor/ proof reader. If you can’t find either then try reading it aloud to yourself.

Tess (uk)