All Comments on 'The McCall Oregon Trail'

Loved it. Please keep it going.

Amazing first foray! I enjoyed this story immensely and look forward to part two!

A great begining looking forward to chapter II

Nice story, especially for a first try. I suggest you check for extra words (e.g, where you used 4 words when 1-2 would do). Keep up the good work.

Great story. Please build on what you have started.

You have good writing skills but the sex scenes sometimes felt more academic than passionate. However, keep up your contributions, none of us advance without practice and a willingness to read our reader’s comments. Looking forward to your next story.

Excellent! 5 ⭐️

It was ok for a first story but could have been so much better. My suggestion since your going more the romantic side of incest would have more of a build up, more charcter devlopments. It started off good but the half way through had a feel or rushing the story. With that said I can't wait to read your future stories,

I enjoyed your story.

Excellent love story, but it lacks more details about River restoring the house. Did the money he saved take care of it, etc. But for a first time, you wrote an amazing story.

what kind of idiot name is that? why not board or bush? how about biscuit? best guess he was a wild wild west WIMP.

Hi all, thank you so much for reading and leaving great comments. I will do my best to incorporate your suggestions in my next story. I'm not sure if/when there will be a part 2 to this story, but we'll see where my brain takes me next!

Good story - would've liked more detail on their mother/father and how they were exiled by the family. (Although the mom got the house, so more questions...) What's next for them? 5*

Very good. Hope you continue with this, and add more stories on the same venue. Will be following you from now on..

I've enjoyed it but I want more of it

Being from Oregon. This hits home, Eugene to Astoria. The Vista house.. All of it drives up the nostalgia.

Wonderful story and if this is your first I'm excited for what is to come

Not too bad. I only gave you 4 stars because some of the mechanics of the sex scenes were too far fetched. In particular, you described the left over semen leaking from Tara's cunt and then moments later, River was eating her out and you described her juices as if they were clean. I'd call that one a continuity error.

It's entirely your story to tell, and I understand that certain elements of it were locked in your mind, like Tara being unaware that River was working on the house to surprise her. But I would have enjoyed it better if you had developed another reason to keep her off of the property instead of the misunderstanding that stretched out for several months. Realistically speaking, River would have been hard pressed to carry out such extensive repairs injuries notwithstanding. My mother-in-law sold her house to a guy who renovated it and flipped it. It was a Victorian Style house nearly identical to what you described. He was in good health and the house was still livable albeit in heavy disrepair when he began working on it. It took him 11 months to complete the task.

I want to reinforce that I did enjoy this story. But it stretched reality just a bit too much for 5 stars.

Sensational story, Please keep it going. surely there is more to come with these two as they become a couple. Whatever happened to the apartment they used to live in and all the belongings they had?

Great story! 5/5

Loved it, I think it took too long for the sex part of the story to take place… and then it was over. Hoping there’s a chapter 2 SOON!!! Please.

Do the research, a mans tongue CANNOT hit the gspot. Too many cliches in the story, it wasjust boring.

For your first story i think you did a great job. Obviously improvements can be made going forward with some of the content as you learn and apply it. However i enjoyed the story overall and hope for a pt.2 as there is alot left unfinished! Kids/family, commitment, work for him. Life afterwords.

Keep it going

Wish you would have taken it just the little further!!

Very well-written, highly polished for a first story, though you’ve probably done a lot of writing of some sort previously. There aren’t many “love” stories on Literotica, and not many good ones in this category, may be you can help fill the void. I’m encouraged that could be the case, based on the username you’ve chosen