All Comments on 'The Mind of a Son Pt. 01'

this is the worst story ever. somebody please make him stop writing.

Loved It

This Is Just How I Sometimes Think

So fucking real

Every story of yours is so different from the other.. Good job Mr.brucewayneengypt

Hard to read. No flow

An extremely juvenile attempt.

So difficult that I gave up trying to force myself to finish reading it.

Perhaps you could try something good with paragraphs detailing that which you wish to convey.

Tell you story in a continuous narative, segment by segment.

Additionally, grow up. Your vocabulary is in need of expansion. Read a lot of stories here, on Literotica.com, to become familiar with how a flow is established, then maintained, ultimately hitting the climax.

A denuma the might close out the chapter.

Could not rate you below a two - 2 - because you tried.

Do you have any concept of a period at the end of a sentence? Just one, it almost always works.

Alive ??? Waiting for next part in many of your series !!!

very very hot

WOWWWW

Pt. 2?