All Comments on 'The Missing Dragon Ch. 02'

Eating this story like I was a starving man.

I read both back to back. More please

Great story could not stop reading eagerly waiting for more

The Missing Dragon Ch. 03 is almost ready. I finished the draft today. It's 78 pages of Word in length which is longer than the last chapter. I'm going to spend at least a day self-editing before I give it over to my editor for the final touch-ups. At least I'm hoping they'll be touch-ups. If she finds any huge problems it might delay our schedule but I haven't had anything like that happen yet!

This is all by way of saying that The Missing Dragon Ch. 03 should be ready for upload sometime within the next 2-3 weeks if all goes well.

How do you go about choosing an editor?

I personally have an excellent grasp of the English language, both in grammar and vocabulary, but I also know that you are much more likely to find errors in the work of another person than you are in your own work. (Thus the need for help.)

Do you have any tips on finding a good editor?

Thank you for sharing your talent. All the great fantasy traditions: other races, geek-makes-good, primitive culture, a hint of magic, PLUS loads of seriously hot sex. Any chance of you being in regular print at any point?

Heya cittran! For me, finding an editor was not very easy. As you may have noticed, my stories are getting longer and longer. That means that a lot of editors are immediately turned off due to the bulky workload.

I'm also (at the risk of inflating my own head) quite popular on the site, particularly in the Sci-Fi/Fantasy section. This means that I have fans... Woohoo! Now I'm definitely not complaining about fans, but that also means that I got quite a few "applications" to be my editor by people who quite transparently wanted early copies of my stories.

I also got a lot of people calling themselves editors who were really just critics. They weren't nasty critics or anything and they were often really supportive and enthusiastic, but all they wanted to do was tell me the story that they wanted to hear without really helping me on the technical side of things.

So this is why I initially asked for any prospective editor to show me some past work or to edit a page of one of my stories and send it to me. I had to wait about 4-6 months before, out of the blue, I found Krissta. She edits professionally and she likes my work. These are two qualities, other than her general awesomeness, that I value immensely.

Liking my work obviously means that she's willing to read through a lot of my stuff, so the heavy workload doesn't bother her. She's also very good with the technical side of things, which is where I needed help the most.

So, for an amateur writer, I'd say that finding a good editor can be difficult but you definitely need to be picky. Getting someone who doesn't fit your style, even if they're good at what they do, can be like an iron ball and chain on your work. My editing process goes like this:

I usually write half of the story and self-edit before sending it to Krissta so that she can be getting on with fixing my fuck-ups whilst I write the second half. Then, once I get it back from her, I update the changes and send her the whole thing once it's finished. This spreads the work for her out so it's more manageable and gives me some important feedback during the writing process.

Her editing is done by the "mark changes" function in Word which is really useful as I can see exactly what she's changed and don't have to piss about playing spot the difference. Other than with minor technical problems (commas, spelling mistakes, etc.) she never re-forms paragraphs or re-writes my work, but rather highlights bits that are confusing or contradictory and tells me what's wrong. This is something that I'd advise all writers to make their editors do as having someone else writing sections of your story can come off as jarring in the flow of the narrative. Plus, no one's going to be able to fix it like you can and be able to put it amidst the greater context of the tale.

Then, when I get her final copy back I update the changes and fix the problems before doing one final self-edit and then it goes to submission.

Krissta also helps out by having the occasional chat with me, lending support and giving me a boost when all I want to do is sit down and repeatedly smash my head on the desk. She's saved me quite a few headaches.

So that's how I found my editor, my editing process and why she's great. I can't really advise you on finding one since you might be looking for different things. Regardless, I hope this was helpful!

Lien

P.S. Anonymous, I'm hoping to get a full length novel started after posting the third chapter in this series.

Well, thanks for the response, Lien.

Now half of me is kinda thinking 'Ugh, all that work to find an editor?'

...while my other, more sensible half is saying, "Shh! My Common Sense is tingling! Get an editor dammit!"

Oh well. At least I know what I'm getting into now.

I hope.

(I can tell you that before I started writing, I would have been perfectly happy to be an editor, up until about 6-8 months ago. I don't know where the hell it had been hiding for 19 years, but my inner author went on a rampage, and now I have 2 stories in the works. One I'm actively working on for here, (which was the second story I came up with, about six months ago), and 1 which I 'd love to turn into a novel or even a series, which, while I could put it on here, probably won't be erotic. I would like something I could show my family, and with parents who are kinda uptight and a brother who's only 14.... well... you know what I mean, right?)

I promise, once I get a tale up, I will let all my favorite authors know (not the enormous list on my profile, but my actual favorite authors, which number 11 at this point). I'd love criticism/support from them, because all of them are fairly well-known. (I don't read crap willingly =/)

[and yes, you are one of my favorite authors ;) ]

also, lol, even your comment responses are long :P

Actually, my comment responses can be rather long too.

Pot calling the kettle black, I suppose.

Let me start by saying I am enjoying the characters and like the world you developed.

To be honest, I did not think I would like this as it involves orcs and elves, and I am oh so tired of that kind of fantasy. I was also wigged out at the idea of sex with an orc. But I like Algra. And for the most part I like what you have done here so far.

The way you gave the reader an overview of world through the conversation between Greg and Grolfir was clever and well handled. It was done through natural conversation rather than straight up exposition. And it did not give too many details; just enough to whet the appetite and provide a high level introduction. So good job with that.

I think you have done a good job overall with the world building. The people, politics, and the economy are all interesting and creative concepts.

I like Greg and Algra, but feel like Janette fell a little too quickly into a submissive role and too easily adapted to circumstance. I would like to have seen a little more depth in her character development.

I also hope that Greg is not a jerk, but instead nudges Talina toward the blacksmith so they can find each other. Now whether or not it works between the two is a separate issue, but I hope you do a little exploration there.

I was also hoping Valise would be a potential partner. I'm glad it looks like you are going there. That she is in her 30s or 40s gives her particular appeal to me.

I would like to see better pacing. Right now the frequency of the sex scenes and the volume of those scenes are too much. Without more story in between to give the reader a break, those sex scenes lose their impact. I find myself skimming through them to their end only to find in the next paragraph he is fucking yet again. Keep the volume if you like, but you need something to break them up a little to allow for better pacing in the story.

I am also concerned about how easy everything seems to be for Greg. I said I like Greg, and i do, but it's all a little too easy for him. By making the character a seeming expert in everything and giving him the perfect physique and a cock that apparently never grows tired, you lessen the character's appeal. He is also a bit of a Mary Sue. There is too much agreement to all he does and too much that is easily coming to the character. He needs a little more depth. There should be some sense of growth for this character.

I am looking to forward to more. That was a good cliff hanger, giving the reader a nice tease.

Hey guys! For those of you who may not have seen, The Missing Dragon Ch. 03 is now in the system waiting for approval. It should be out within the next week. Thanks for bearing with me!

To the Anonymous commenter below, thanks for the feedback! It means a lot that you resonated with Algra. Part of what appeals to me in writing fantasy like this is to occasionally try and make the traditionally repulsive into something either likable or sexy. It was something I tried earlier with Pugward. Though I don't think he became sexy, just hopefully likeable. :o)

The conversation between Greg and Grolfir was meant to do exactly what you said, so I'm glad that worked out. This is a big world they're in and I'm revealing it one bit at a time, but there's bigger things going on all the while that require the reader to know a little about the bigger picture. I didn't want to infodump, so the conversation between these two was a key point in the story and I'm glad it worked!

Janette is meant to be a bit submissive and uncertain at the moment. I can understand your frustration with her, but it's intentional. I plan on building her up into something more through the series. Right now she's in an insane situation with a guy she really likes and she's basically latched onto him for dear life. Algra's more fully formed and confident.

As for your criticism, I completely understand where you're coming from but please read chapter 3 and if you think I haven't addressed anything you've said then I'll be worried. ;o)

Lien

Hi Lien, I am the anonymous poster above. I simply did not have an ID on the site at the time.

I do intend to continue reading the story. I'm hooked. You got me.

I gave much the same critique in your other story, Aphrodisia. But that has not had any updates in 2 years :( . I believe you said something to the effect that story was more an exercise and an experiment than anything else. But honestly, I thought you had interesting ideas in it and would have liked to see it further developed.

But The Missing Dragon has really pulled me in and I do look forward to more.

Been waiting for days since the tantalizing post said that part 3 was up and it's still lost in the aether :(

I think there's a backlog of stories. Hopefully it should be up sometime over the weekend!

STUPID BACKLOG! I WANT MY AWESOME STORIES NOW DAMMIT!

…

…

…

*ahem*

…

Sorry. Carry on.

"I look like a male stripper who's watched Conan The Barbarian one too many times" - Gregory

I really enjoy your stories! Thank you very much!

Just one thing if I may say:

Sometimes too many sex scenes follow each other closely - I find it a little bit "exausting" (not boring!).

Kind regards!

S.

Excellent narration and imagination!!

Looking forward for the story to continue.

ch 2 even better than ch 1.. cant wait for ch 3.... ;)

Excellent work! I particularly like how you've designed the orc society, the contest/slavery is something I've never come across before and it works really well in making the orcs feel violent without being savage. Also, Algra is the most fun Orc I've ever read about while the three courtesans are particularly tittilating. I look forward to more, especially Fiona and Algra!

in chapter one the ring was silver, now it is gold. Is it the same ring or did they find a different ring and the silver one is still missing?

If you keep writing, I will keep reading. In other words I like your style so please keep it up.

Five puny stars is simply not enough reward for the world you have created...gobsmacked. This is really, really good.

love the writing, NEED to read more!!!! can't wait till you write part 4

This story is simply amazing. There aren't enough words to describe the beauty that is the world you have created.

A great story - a lot of imagination, thoroughly riveting.

.

freaking loved it!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel bad that people may start fearing Greg now but Freddie totally diserved it the guy was a prick, certified psycho.

am still amazed at the inventiveness of your mind. Love the sex, love the intrigue love the story development. Look forward to more!

Awesome story, love how long and well thought out each chapter is! Looking forward to more.

A lot of times a second chapter is just an afterthought and no where near as compelling as the first, it's true for novels and everything on this site. But this, this has managed to keep itself fresh and new without losing the whole idea. I posted a comment yesterday on part one, same for this. You deserve more for this great writing. You have my thanks and many others, thank you so much.

Can't wait to see future installments of the story. After reading this chapter you definitely have a new fan.

but there is finally a dragon. But I will admit, with all the other interesting bits, one has not been needed, except to justify the title.

Thanks,

Great Story

Nice story but it verses too much on nonstop porn and less on plot. In almost 70k words not much has happened except alot of fucking. I'm glad to see things move forward more now.

Kizkiz

WOW what a ride . fantastic. More please.

Stephen J

Damn good.

Another epic chapter filled with so much naughty intrigue and detail! Can't wait to read what happens next 😉

By the way, the line, "Best. Game. Ever."

Gotta admit, I literally laughed out loud, and I'd have to agree.

along with your request for an editor. Interesting ideas and characters. I hope in the next chapters I'll find that you 1) added some imperfection to this ridiculously perfect man that suddenly knows how to please women 2) used the word whilst less often - boring and repeated so often it took me out if the story 3) stopped talking about big is dick is. He's hung - we get it. Starts to get boring partly because the story, the wording, the focus on his dick, is so predictable.

Good job, well written

I wish I could experience this in real life

Contact me at phoenix23ninja@gmail.com if it is somehow possible

Make sure to mention this story

i really love this story even the first one.. i want to rate it 6/5

This story could be a novel. Seriously, Id buy it and read it. Please don't stop with it... continue it on!

This is good stuff. As others have said, this could be a great novel. You've created a whole new world to play with.

As written without editor help you clean up well. The storyline, language, all is just right. Thank you.

I really loved this story I hope to see more of it in the future! too bad it dosent rate more than 5 stars or Id give more to it.

Wasn't fiona a human? I noticed some other inconsistencies too.

And did Gregory remember to retrieve the ring before changing into Orc Garb.

P.S. why does Jan still have a thing for lenny the bully, is it because he was her boyfriend, I'd like Greg to let something really nasty happen to the bully infront of his ex so that she learns to stop advocating on the bully's half & he takes his full loyalty, I think as long as the bully is alive , his ex will always be a potential threat to Gregory.

The story. Well written. Personally I could do with a lot less sex and more story.

Thanks!!!

Ed

This is the best series ever!!!!. Please keep writing, you have great talent!!!!.

yeah sure, free the crazy murder, what could go wrong?

Gives your Chapter 5 some back story

You could write a long series of novels on this and I would greedily devour it page by page. You have true talent. Bravo.

As they said, he's a person. But what idiot let's the only thing connecting him back home inside his pant's pocket discarded lmao I know it's to get the story going and show what it can do but it could have been handled better than making the main character into an idiot with no common sense. There's also the fact that he appraised a sword as if he knew what he was talking about. That makes no sense as he is just a high school kid and I saw no mention of a background that can hold up him knowing something about swords. I'm sure there's many things I missed but I read this extremely tired, so far it's interesting even with the flaws.

If I was not in a relationship with 2 different women and yes they know about each other and we are deeply in love all 3 of us with each other I would have stopped reading at the first chapter. Maybe a little to much sex for my taste and a little more plot but the ending made up for that BIG TIME!!! But you still get 5 stars from me man and I cant wait to read your other stories. But also spread the word. There is nothing in the old testament or new that says you cant have more than one wife. Or if your a woman more than one husband. AS LONG AS THEY KNOW ABOUT EACH OTHER AND AREN'T OPPOSED TO IT In god's eyes it's ok. Just don't get that gay crap mixed into it. my girls some times kiss and hug but that is as far as I let them take it. now in the old King james version it says a minister or something like a deacon should have only one wife but in the new modern translations that are taken from the original documents/parchents it's not in those at all. Believe me I've read many different translations of the bible and its not in there. If this offends you my email is cyanorch2@outlook.com. I'll be glad to see if you can spesically tell me where it is in the bible and not some stupid pastoral teaching. Little known fact. Its only briefly mentioned in genesis I think but wasn't it Isaac that sent away his half brothers from Abrahams concubines with gifts so they would have a decent starting off in life? I mite have gotten Abraham's main offspring's name wrong but I know he had concubine and the one that inherited Abrahams legacy after he died sent away his half brothers with gifts. Don't believe me? Look it up.

This story started out well and keeps getting better. You've done good job of weaving the sex scenes in with an interesting plot, I'm really enjoying it.

And that cliffhanger at the end - seems like we've got a dragonfire ring, but where is the missing dragon?

More sex and a lil' more teasing???

Okay, chapter two and you are still writing strong. Yep, my day spent with you. Now onward into number three. Thank you.

Loving the story, characters and cool twists and turns!

J

I usually don’t comment on individual chapters. But Ive got to say this chapter was amazing! I was wondering how you would handle the Freddie problem. Wonderful writing. Expansive imagination.

How do I give 11 stars?!? This is at least my third or fourth time rereading it and it’s still awesome!

Finally the Bully got exactly what he deserved.

the Good guy got laid several times daily.

I am clamoring to read the other chapters,

I'm taking 1 day at a time just to savor the

awesome stories.

fun fact, did you know that "valise" is french for either a suitcase or a car trunk?

Way too much fucking... Not enough story...

Sometimes a story has so much sex it gets in the way. This is probably an example of that happening. I like it a lot though.

Very well written, I personally found the ratio of erotica to plot perfect for me

The MC cant walk 10 meter without getting laid.

It was nice at the Beginning. It gets boring with time.

This guy screws like a freaking monkey. Excellent story but the constant copulation is somewhat over the top. How does he get anything done if he's playing Dutch Boy and plugging every hole in all the dikes.

They just jeally. I do really like the stories on here that offer plot as opposed to just quick one or two page romps in the sack. Even with all the action Greg gets, there's still a sh*t ton of plot advancement and character development to thoroughly enjoy the constant fun. My opinion anyways.

Best part I've seen so far is Freddie's end. I read that with a big "F*ck yea! Take that you sack of sh*t in human form!" Absolutely loved it. Another 5 from me. Can't wait to read the rest. I don't see much sleep in my near future. 😁👍😎

How the fuck did Freddie get loose? I'm sure this isn't the first time they've chained someone up. One second he's sitting chained to a post sunk into the ground and the next he's running loose. How did he know the ring was in the pants, or was it just a wild guess? I think this part was an after thought that was thrown in just to get to the end. Whatever...

There didn't seem to be much of a story in this chapter, just a whole lot of sex, one hell of a lot of sex. Got to hand it to Gregory, he turned from a lone wanker into the biggest stud around. Seems he kind of got into a rut, no pun intended. Sex is like a glass of crystal clear water to a thirsty man, it's great. Drowning in a swimming pool of crystal clear water is a little too much.

This is a well-written and erotic story, and I never thought I'd be saying this, but there was too much sex. I know that this is a fantasy, but no creature - human or otherwise - can perform non-stop like you have Gregory doing. The sex also gets in the way of the storyline. Keep writing, but try to make it a bit more realistic.

I want to find out what was in the two remaining vials...

I find it interesting that Freddie Lounds met a fiery end. There is a character in Silence of The Lambs named Freddie Lounds. He also met a Fiery end. Although he was tied to a wheelchair and set aflame and the kicked down a parking garage(?) or was it a hill. Interesting coincidence. Every fictional story requires a suspension of belief. The thing is, the main character fucks just a little to much. And this is coming from a guy that will fucks five times a day if I got a woman who can take it. This is true, I've seen me do it. The story line is pretty good. Ease up on the sax a little and you got a really good tale going here.

And skinny , introspective nerds almost all thank you.

Outstanding! I agree with the other one, just a little too much sex. The story line is fantastic.

Felt that this story contained too much sex. Otherwise an incredible story nonetheless.

Love it wish you would do more of them third time reading it.

Too much sex is never the problem when the story progresses so fluidly. Love it!

5*

Your plot and story are awesome.

beyond excellence, truly. Captivates you very quickly and draws you in and just the right amount of sex to keep the flow beyond entertaining..

Awesome story so far. Just one little detail I noticed. On page 9 when Greg mentiones "breaking in the bed" Algra misunderstands it as literally breaking the bed. Shouldn't that problem be solved by the translation medallion since it trasmits meaning and not litteral translation?

Love the story so far! Can't wait to dig into the next chapter.

I did find 2 things that kind off confused me if you're open to hear it. Near the end Gregory told Algra that he wanted to break the bed in with her but she didn't get it and thought he wanted to break the bed. I'm not sure if he was still wearing the universal translator medallion but if he was, shouldn't it convey the meaning and not just words? If he was, Algra should have understood what he meant. And the second thing also near the end is the ring. When Freddie finds it you described it as golden, but it was silver before.

This was an amazing story. Keep it up.

Every time I read this story I enjoy it even more.

Well, I hate being right. The stupid fuck fucked it up with Fred. He should have just cut his throat, from the start. Or went ahead and beat him to death.

Once again, I hate these plot contrivances where the character does incredibly dumb shit. I predict bad shit because of stupidity.....

As for lacking an editor, you do better without one than many Lit writers manage with an editor.

You've worked hard on this while making it flow from scene to scene. Thanks.

Excellent! Good balance of sex and story. Each good on their own. Are you getting this published?

This is really good! I like the balance of porn and plot

Another great segment and again thank you for a great story

I love this story. Thanks.

This is just a gem to read. Your ticking of all the right boxes. World travel, orcs, magic and Isekai.

I love this genre

Your story though is fire.

Thank you so much for sharing this.

This has turned out a better story than I thought it would be.

So this is going to be a wierd comment for a story on Literotica, but there might actually be too much sex in this chapter, and it kind of gets in the way of what's shaping up to be a really fun plot. It also undermines Greg's character development; you're obviously trying to make him a 'wise beyond his years, unexpectedly natural leader' type, and not being able to keep it in his pants for 5 fucking minutes when he's waiting for someone to meet with him makes him seem like he lacks self control and respect for the people around him.

But really enjoying this overall, thanks for writing.