All Comments on 'The Missing Dragon Ch. 03'

Keep on keeping on.

I love this story but this chapter was more miss than hit with me, felt like character depth was sacrificed to shoehorn more sex in, I get that it's a primarily sex driven story, but some of the stuff was just a feelsbadman.

Like torren loves that chick and she's getting stuffed on the side but throws him some pity pussy, RIP.

Also don't know how many people would decide to screw right beside someone unconscious from a critical Injury.

Other than that the story is pretty good!

I thought your story would be different but bo, you had to include a revolting scene of talina and torren in between after all the passion you showed between her and Greg. Fucking disgusting man, i quit.

Such promise to this. Completely ruined by some ridiculous pairing of some bumbling, awkward, unimportant (and not even secondary) character with a true secondary that was built up so well with romantic interest in the main protagonist. All I can think of as your reasoning is to show that Talina actually is just a whore that has no more importance to Greg, and completely show that no, she really can't be trusted.

So f*cking disappointing. Had such high hopes for you and the characters that were introduced in the first two chapters. 1 out of 5, and yes I'm also unsure if I even want to continue this story if I'm just going to be as disappointed with it as I was with so many others that f*cked up their own story.

I absolutely DESPISE agreeing with and being one of the haters, but it appears it cannot be helped. Feels bad, bro.

I don't want to get too deep into my opinions here, but suffice to say, Lien_Geller, that I see practically the opposite effects to your story as others have expressed! I will save my in-depth analysis for the last chapter. This is my second time reading this series, but I'm hoping that it's been long enough since the last time that maybe there's a new chapter, but I do remember the decisions made about characters in this chapter proving to be worthwhile developments and exchanges for what some readers may have expected. I sincerely hope that you are still writing, and continuing this wonderful work at that!

OK, so let me state first of all that I think their tryst might have been a bit... mishandled from a literary perspective. Yes, their relationship was foreshadowed a little (in the presence of Greg no less), and Greg doesn't seem to be particularly possessive of Talina. Plot-wise, they make sense together.

However, Greg is still the protagonist and the primary viewpoint for the reader. There is little reader investment in seeing tertiary couples get together, and like many other commentators, I completely skipped that passage.

I know this comment is years after the story is posted, and the author would likely never read this anyway, but I felt like I had to either vent a little or just stop reading the series entirely. Venting accomplished, I'll continue...

So I'm loving everything except two things so far.

1)Not enough Fiona time want more!!

2)Torren and Talina had becoming an item. I was so fucking disappointed when that happened and I just skipped over that part completely!!

Love the story but the editing is soooo soooo bad !!!

The first time I read it, I gave each chapter 5 stars, and for good reason. This story has a definite flair about it that is not often found in erotic fiction. However, there IS some editing work needed to make it truly great.

And to the commenter who said Torren and Talina getting together was off-putting, blow it out of your ass. That kind of thing adds a dynamic to the story that you just don't get if everything sexual goes in the protagonist's direction. Torren is critical to the storyline, and giving him someone to be with is only reasonable, not to mention that it show's Greg's application of empathy that he is happy for the poor, inexperienced chap.

I Read this story about two years ago and it was much longer. When will you publish the rest of the chapters?

Really loving the story, even though it's got me in trouble with the wife for staying up until 5 in the morning!

You mentioned the need for an editor. While an editor is a good idea, your story is in better shape even than many that have an editor. I have been called the "proofreader from hell" (unfortunately not to do with anything online, so I can't link to it), yet I've only noticed one sentence that could really have used improvement, and it was one where it would have been a challenge to make it well structured and still work.

I love the in-depth multifaceted aspect of your stories, and was pleased to see that even Gregory's unusual sexual capabilities seem to be a part of a more involved story, being recognised as somewhat unnatural, rather than him just happening to be a superstud, as often happens in literotica stories.

You created an idiot, fool and a coward.

Story became too stupid to keep reading. If you are going to make a giant story you better make it damn good. I don’t like having to skip pages just to get to something worth reading. This whole chapter is because he saw Velise’s tits. Give everything up to the chief on the spot without even finding out if she had something to do with Freddie escape before hand. Oh I saw her tits I have to defend her. I’m not reading past that point. Don’t care what is proven after the fact. These other people only read nudie stories. They don’t read actual books. Needs more than just pages of sex if you want to make a big story worth reading. That said the concept is good. At times it is a very good story. I just can’t read any more.

Really hate this dude. He is no different than Freddie. He deserves to die. Won’t even talk to Jan just pushes her out of the way. Acts like she is nothing. IS THIS WHAT YOU THINK A HERO IS? ridiculous

I'm not sure what the last couple of comments are talking about. This is the third or fourth time going through this story, and I just wanted to pause a minute to thank the author, again, for writing it. I'm chomping at the bit to get to the part where Greg teaches the Runts how to use their weaknesses as strengths, and the hints of what Wren is doing just started to show themselves. Fantastic story development!

Being my 3rd time reading I have to agree with the many comments about Torren and Talina being a terrible idea. Secondary couples, unless already established before the main protagonist meets them, take away from the main protagonist especially after what seemed like them sharing a mutual interest. Especially knowing how close Talina and Gregory get in the coming chapters. Unfortunately to fix this would require a major rewrite that I don't see happening. Valise with Torren would have more sense.

5*

An amazingly intricate story, thank you.

First two chapters are outstanding unfortunately this one kinda sucks moves to slow in some place and far to fast In others and of course the torren and talina storyline is awful. It’s quite sad how far this one falls in quality hopefully if it’s ever rewritten or taken as inspiration the same mistakes won’t be made.

The pairing of Toren and Talina is brilliant. I sense that she will draw an unknown potential from within him.

bloody brilliant

wish there was a hundred chapters, easily five stars

I know I'm drawn into the story and characters when emotions take place. Torren and Talina are just such a terrible mistake considering the 'theme' of this fantastic story. I'm literally rooting for everyone to fall in love with Gregory in their own ways and for them all to be his (as most appear to be). While I think both Torren and Talina are excellent characters, this tangent literally took me out of the world and back into reality. So much so that I completely bypassed the entire passage and felt emotional enough to add a comment. I realize it won't change anything but at least feel better in expressing it. Ugh I was so looking forward to how Gregory would continue to break down the walls of the courtesans. Having these strong, confident women marvel at the intimate power/effect he had over them that he never actually used other than to show them true love and affection (as he seems to for all of his lovers). Heartbreaking!

Ruined it with torren and talina

Talina he’s my master try getting me to be with someone else 5 pages later dumps him for the chubby blacksmith lol apart from that good story

I really, really think the last three commenters weren't paying quite enough attention, because the emotions of the characters were quite clearly described, and none of them were inconstant or inconsistent. Gregory is not in love with Talina in the way he is with Janette and Algra, and is in favor of a romantic relationship between Talina and Torren. Talina is not in love with Gregory -- he is her master; a beloved master, to be sure, and one to whose service she is truly devoted, but she is not in love with him, though she appears to not have been entirely clear on that distinction when she offered Torren what we sometimes refer to as a "friends with benefits" arrangement. After her first encounter with Torren, Talina discovered that she might be falling in love with him. This is causing Talina to begin to better understand her feelings for Gregory, but does not alter them, nor does it alter her commitment to Gregory. In short, there is neither betrayal nor inconstancy on Talina's part. If Janette or Algra were to have sex with a man other than Gregory, then the commenters would have a point, but their emotional connection with Gregory is very clearly different than Talina's.

honestly after seeing talina kiss torren i skipped the story and will never be reading this series again you threw away an amazing story i have no idea why. if there was a negative rating i can give this i would 100% give it. you should honestly never write a story again after this atrocity i can’t believe you would throw away an amazing story like this so some fucking bimbo can fuck n fall in love with a fat blacksmith jesus. everyone who’s disappointed with this please head over to “Home for horny monsters” you will find this better written and put together then this terrible story believe me it was great but you threw it out the window

Yeah, I have to agree with AmorousFucker and ShySpud, there both spot on.

I don't know what the Juveniles are rabbiting on about, I don't think they've lived, much less, tried to do the "Right Thing", only for it to reward you for your stupidity.

Without mistakes, you don't learn.

As for the age and wisdom of our Lad, he's just eighteen, no Military experience, no other worldly experience, still in School, and stupidly naive.

As for his Martial arts expertise, it's more exercise than Golden Warrior.

So your bumbling portrayal does describe someone like him well, as does his lack of commonsense in a violent society.

As for getting your Azz Kicked, beaten senseless and taught a lesson that compassion for the undeserving isn't prized, that's just life slapping some sense into you.

What's missing from most peoples thinking is they never lived in a primitive and morally differnt world, where abstract thought also isn't highly prized or considered useful.

Try living in a Third World Shytehole as a First World citizen, and his folly and naivete makes a great deal of sense.

From experience, you either learn real quick, or you get yourself and/or others seriously injured or killed.

So, yeah, very Grand story telling, keep it up.

Thank you for an excellent chapter.

This is a really great story

Really like the story line. Getting somewhat impatient for the anticipated connection with the ring. However, trusting that it's coming. Have you considered self publishing this story as an Amazon book?

I have read thousands of novels. This, this little gem is now saving my favorites.

That puts you on par with Weis and Hickman, writer Annabelle of the home for horny monsters, Robert Heinlein and Piers Anthony.

Thanks for sharing such a cool series with the world

I think the problem with Talina and Torren was not them getting together but rather them getting together after having Talina say that she was Greg's and she would serve only him and if anyone tried to make her serve someone else, she would (presumably) kill them. Like, you have her say essentially "I'm yours and yours alone" and then almost immediately have her begin a relationship with someone else. If you didn't have that earlier scene, than I don't think anyone would have a problem with it. Or if instead of pledging herself to hin she made it clear they were just a casual thing, friends with benefits and nothing more, that would also be fine. The way it's written is jarring to say the least and is just poor character writing in an otherwise stellar story.

But hey, what do I know? I don't even have a name.

this whole chapter wouldn't have been a thing, if greg had just learned to shut his mouth and think logically rather than react emotionally.. because what good was there in being self recriminating.. honestly, its lazy writing many authors fall trap to.. in having the mc berate himself, only to make the woman/women show value in contradicting him.. smh..

It was not Greg’s doing but Jan’s. She wanted to free the punk and she stopped Greg fighting him. And even then she was the one that needed comfort. She should be punished together with the orc that used the potion that was used on the chain.

Very good, and getting better....