All Comments on 'The Missionary Position Pt. 01'

I am almost jealous of your English and the flow of your story. Can't believe it is your first story. Great!! Carry on!!!

Let me begin by saying that the story held my interest. It is well written and the details make it come alive. You definitely have a flare for writing. I give it 5*

That being said there are some punctuation errors (ie Finally,) and you have a tendency to use passive voice where an active voice would make the sentence much stronger.

I'm certain that some of the grammatical errors were simply oversights in proofing. For example, I saw places where you might have used an Em rather than a comma. Also, the number 12 should be written out at the beginning of a sentence. And "an" is always used when preceding a vowel sound - not necessarily a vowel. Generally, thoughts do not use quotes. There was one sentence that ended in the word "only" when that word should have preceded "just."

Congratulations on your first in a series and I hope my comments were helpful. Job well done.

You never wrote a chapter 2!

Please, Please, Please continue this story!

Very good story!

God that's an amazing start and awaiting for the rollercoaster to take off! Keep writing...

Please finish this story, I love that you write from both the female and male points of view.

Brahmin virgin girls converting to another religion is a hot story...