All Comments on 'The Mistake Pt. 02'

But I'd fuck her in a heartbeat!

Great descriptive smutty prose.

Straying from "The Mistake 1" was a big mistake. This is not even incest bud. Claire was in a relationship with her boyfriends father!!! Claire should have gotten the hots for Sam after listening to him fucking they're Mother!! I honestly didn't even read past her jumping into the arms of Liam's Father, before I close the window off. WHAT A LET DOWN MAN!!! I'm pretty sure everybody hated 2 separate stories ......instead of a real sequel to the first one. O WELL

@FreakonaLeash73:

Hi! Sorry you feel that way. It was expected. But it's okay. The first two parts is basically set up for later. Sam and Ava are back in part three.

Thank you for taking your time to respond!

Story wasn't bad but i was hoping to see what happens between mother and son. You had a really hot start. Will there be regret and resistance or will they sneak around? I'm hoping resistance ;). Will she get pregnant. So many questions unanswered. 4 starsthis chapter. Love your writing!

@BG187:

Thank you for your comment! The series revolves around both siblings. The first two parts is set up to introduce the characters. Further on will be a mix of both. I contemplated posting this part under another category but since this is the only part that doesn't revolve around incest i figured i'd post it here too for consistency sake. It's unfortunate that people don't read the author's note at the top. I re-submitted it with a little clearer message.

Anyhow, thank you for your interest! Hope you stick around for part three. It should be posted tomorrow or maybe the day after, depending on the submission time.

-Kelly

Few other stories here genuinely keep my guessing. This is very well written. Unlike her brother who seems to be a good guy who just does "bad" things in the heat of the moment, Claire is a cold blooded manipulator. A mean woman, but a woman I couldn't resist if she tried seducing me. Can't wait til the next chapter.

Loved the asphyxiation! Really liked the forbidden aspect of it. Loved the stalking fetish. Can't wait to read more!

First I would like to say don't let the "this isn't incest" haters get you down. You're wise to keep this in the incest category given that its obvious the series as a whole will have a very strong incest element. I have to say this part was very well written, just like the first. You manage to create interesting characters (not necessarily all likable ones) who capture the readers attention. I am truely interested in seeing where Claire's side of the story takes this series. In some ways see her either taking a more antagonist role or a more tragic one.

I would say that I have a feeling Liam and his own mother might end up together. Their shared betrayal and tragedy could easily bring them together. Though I really would suggest avoiding the cliché that a lot of long running series on literotica end up falling into where everyone ends up just fucking absolutely everyone else. I can easily see Claire maybe seducing others as part of her manipulative schemes, but other characters seem more driven by their own passions rather and emotional connections. I can see this series being really interesting and amazing if it was more about the tangled webs of emotion, passion, love, lies, and betrayal these characters face rather than just a different combination of people fuck fucking time around. I strongly urge you to aim for the former since you are clearly a writer with the talent to do it right.

Well i liked part 1, but didn't really like this part. I liked Claire in the first one but her true nature is a cold blooded manipulating piece of trash. She and Nicholas deserve to be caught at everything their doing. Cheating is bad enough but drugging people with pills and needles is insane.

I hope they get caught and each has the tables turned. I know what I'd do to the both of them. I'd drug them and have them wake up tied to tables facing each other in a good sized room with tons of bondage equipment. Then have people of both sexes run a very very long and not gentle train on them both, while canning, whipping, paddling, flogging, and beating them both.

I'm not the author and I do suspect s/he wants us to hate claire. Either that or s/he just figured we'd get into the sex and forget what a POS claire is, not that nick is too much better.

@Bluebomber5:

Wow! Thank you so much for all that! It's feedback like this that really makes authors happy. I think this post alone just made my day. I'm not too bothered by the 'this isn't incest' group. I fully expected it and knew this part was going to take a hit for it. I can only hope that part three makes up for it. If not? That's okay too.

There's going to be plenty of sex going on but I promise it won't end up a massive fuck fest! I'm definitely more interested in the emotional side of things. I think part three reflects this.

Again, thank you so much for your thoughts!

Kelly

@Anonymous: Well i liked part 1, but didn't really like this part.

Thank you for your feedback! I really appreciate it. Claire is indeed not a very nice person. Polar opposite of Sam in many ways. I haven't fully decided her fate yet but I think it should prove interesting.

It's almost funny how many private hate mails this part have managed to generate, some more colorful than others. I'm flattered that my words have managed to stir so many emotions. Thank you for delivering your feedback without resorting to name calling. It's refreshing!

Kelly

Well part one was wonderful, true erotica not just a stroke story. Part two was well written but I didn't enjoy the story so much. Sequels are never as good right? Not so much the writing as the content. Face slapping and choking. Drugging with needles its was all a bit extreme for me. However if we only read lovey dovey 'safe stories' we wouldn't grow right? Try new things and all that. Author continues to impress looking forward to reading more of Ava and Sam (no real malice there). Great work, ignore the haters, please continue.

@Anonymous: What can I say...:

Thanks! Glad you enjoyed part one and was able to be objective about this one. I'm happy i managed to make the siblings so different. Claire is definitely on the extreme end of the spectrum. Nicholas too, to some extent. They're fun to write though.

Ava and Sam is back in the next part. I imagine it'll get through the submission process tomorrow.

I join the others, part 1 was good, arousing, and even romantic. Part 2 was disgusting,

evil, and hard to stomach; I read to the end hoping that she would get her just due and he would have a stroke or something as bad. From your replies to others it may happen and I kook forward to it, 2* for the writing skill. I usually sign my remarks but won't for this one; don't want to be associated with the story or my response, maybe I am being cowardly but I'll live with it.

Congratulations, that was very good character development-- a perfect anti-thesis to her brother, Sam. Claire is a perfectly amoral, evil bitch. I can't wait for these two to go at it head-to-head. Don't keep us hanging-- Part 3, please!

I wonder if you actually did research before you wrote this because you pretty much nailed the antisocial thought process. The egocentricism, the detachment and compartmentalization of emotions, the sudden explosive outbursts, homocidal fantasy, poor impulse control, lack of empathy; I could go on and on. There are, however, a few things that would necessarily assert themselves in order to complete the picture. For one, Claire would most likely utterly despise one or both of her parents, and resent her brother for being 'the good one' (even though she gives off the impression of innocence, Sam knows what she is and that threatens her with not just exposure, but being forced to face her own dysfunctional identity). From the way she interacts with Nicholas, it could be her father because she sees her mother's dissatisfaction with him and is disgusted by his inadequacy. On the other hand, it could be her mother because she detests the way she indulges her husband even though he seems useless. This second one is more probable, especially from the way Claire feels about being in control and getting what she wants. The only thing that really doesn't make sense is Claire feeling exhilarated by Nicholas saying he loves her, unless she is just filled with pride at being able to wrap the pathetic old bastard around her finger so completely.

I really wish there were some way to redeem Claire in the future in a way that makes sense, but I just can't see that happening when she is fantasizing about killing her boyfriend's sweet, innocent, disabled wife. My gut tells me that this story must necessarily end in some degree of tragedy. The most logical would be for Claire to eventually kill someone, possibly everyone, including herself, if she doesn't get her way. She just really gives off that kind of vibe. If you were to go that way, though, remember, just because Claire thinks she knows everything, that doesn't mean that she does. People with antisocial and narcissistic personality disorders have poor impulse control and don't think ahead far enough to imagine what the consequences of their actions will be. This is already evident in Claire falling in love (or what she confuses with love) with a married man and assuming she could so easily get away with killing Rose. When she eventually messes up and is forced to face reality, that is when her true depths of the ugliness of her soul would be revealed, and the way she sounds now, she doesn't seem like it would bother her very much at all if she were forced to eliminate anyone her stood in her way, her own family included.

P.S. - If you haven't read "My Other Mother" by Ameaner, you should. That story involves an entire family of dominant women with sociopathic tendencies and one young man trying to love his mother even though she scares the hell out of him.

The first part was fantastic, it's been something I've been trying to find; a mother/son thing that is something more than just some flings or really short. You're building character between the two for the next part, which I was super happy about, since most end it at that kind of thing. The second part was really dislikable. Not in terms of writing, but just how Claire thinks and does. I hope she gets what she deserves in the next part, and hopefully some development with Ava and Sam. Keep up the great work!

@Anonymous: I join the others, part 1 was good, arous...:

Thank you for your response! It's almost funny how much hate Claire get. I'm totally loving it. Totally understand your desire to be anonymous. If you want to talk about it in private though, feel free to hit me up.

@MunsonMan:

Thank you for the feedback! They're as different as i could make them while still remaining siblings.

@SWIM21:

Hi! Thank you so much for all that. I haven't done specific research for this story but i learned a lot researching topics for a previous tale. Without Conscience by Robert D. Hare is probably the biggest inspiration for Claire and the protagonist(antagonist?) in my other story posted here. It's nonfiction though and i can imagine it being pretty hard to get through if you don't have a particular interest in how the human mind works. I can't say i adhere to all 'rules' when it comes to traditional Psyche archetypes though.

Claire's fate is still very much up in the air. I had one planned for a while but a few different options have since come to mind. We'll see. She's definitely one of the more fun characters to write though.

I haven't read your recommendation but if i get some time over in the near future i'll definitely have a look.

@Anonymous: Loving it:

Thank you for your comment! I'm glad you liked part one. Claire is definitely not a very likable character. I knew this when i wrote her but the response so far suggests i underestimated just how much people would dislike her. Makes me even happier to be honest. Evoking feelings is what is all about, right? Good ones or bad ones is a little less important.

Thanks everyone. Kelly

For some reason I missed the previous stories (I just first noticed the part you wrote today) and I always go back. The contrast between the two siblings is stark. I really enjoyed reading the sexual interactions of both stories but I really could not stomach the drugging. Putting in my two cents, I really want Nick and Claire to get their comeuppance somehow. Is it possible that you have TWO directions you could take this series? Note, I have not read the next parts so I might be jumping the gun, but if you were set on one direction, I would sincerely appreciate the effort of a "Nick and Claire get theirs" ending. No matter what, you are a fantastic and descriptive writer.

..is evil and can't say I think much of Nikki either. The story itself captures the essence of their union, with the potential Earth-shattering consequences if they got caught--yet at the same time (for me) it takes something off it to see how controlling both want to be. Interesting idea contrasting her with her brother though.

what a scum of the earth slut Claire is. hopefully evil will overcome her sorry ass...

This is getting good! Claire and Nikki are both evil. We're loving all of it. The description of sex in this one really got us going. I hope both of can last through it all.

TBC

I absolutely hate stories where girlfriend fuck the boyfriend dad instead the boyfriend. And when did Lian fuck his Morher? This story start out with her tricking him to sleep and heading for his dad. WTH crazy. I actually skipped through the story trying to find where Liam did he mother