All Comments on 'The Monster He Created'

So preposterous it's ridiculous. Something only Vandemonium1 could be proud of.

We get one story with 19" dicks and now this pile of ridiculous crap.

“For those who like to nitpick, complain and poke holes, please remember, this is a work of fiction intended for entertainment purposes and is not a docu-drama.”

Introductions such as this are a rather sad attempt by the author to avoid responsibility for writing idiocy. This story isn’t just a box of stupid, it’s an entire crate. It’s as if the author has read about people, but hasn’t actually met any and has no idea how human beings actually behave.

I’m just surprised that the author didn’t name the father Snidely Whiplash.

Blowing up his dick with M80s? I respect that. I respect the hell out of that.

Well, that one takes care of my blood lust for the day. One doesn't read too many NTBs in LW, but we have one now. All involved parties richly deserved their fate. I really enjoy your gonzo stories. They're usually a fun ride. I'll sit back now and read the comments.

This was god-awful. You had to reduce everyone’s IQ to about 70 for them to do the bullshit you wrote.

I have read some awful drivel on this site but this just may be the worst of the lot.

Seriously.

Don't bother.

1*

Why were they worried about EMP? A nuclear explosion does not produce an EMP directly. An EMP is caused by gamma rays from a high altitude nuclear explosion affecting the upper atmosphere. A small device detonated at ground level would not produce any significant EMP effect.

...there are people that evil that exist in the world. I'm glad I've never encountered one.

I love the nuclear BTB story. I know the main focus was the father but the wife got it just as good. That’s what you get for trusting your in laws

any spouse that cheats on someone deployed to defend his or her country is the lowest form of scum known to mankind....

any parent that abuses a child is that same scum ....

i loved this story but i was disappointed that the wife and his father were killed ....

30 seconds of pain was too good for them and i wish he could of given them a lifetime of pain and suffering ....

still 5* 100000 hardons and 10 orgasms

**** to all the men and women of our armed forces past and present THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICES without you we couldn t be free to enjoy our freedom and sites such as literotica *****

Boom!...with a flash they were ash!....Terrific Story!...The one thing that Terrifies Me!...It Will happen But When "A cuckold Husband Gets his Hands on the Flash to Ash Bombs and lets it off where I live...5 Stars★★★★★WOOF

Forgivness is so the offenders can feel the got away with it.

Revenge is for the victim.

Sad the timing device started, it would have been nice to have extended the pain somewhat. For instance acid in the ear works jolly well! Amputation of fingers, toes etc. Won't kill but surely hurts!

The trick with the fuse was really neat! He gets to smell himself burning as well as the surface burns. Right into the nerve endings.

Another like this please. None of the crap the cuck/sharing/forgiveness perverts go for.

A six star story!

Burns the bitch, he really burns the bitch. Good story as always. 10.

even for fiction.

That sure was silly. Fun read.

His wife wants his father to cuckold him, because his father said that he needs it? Is she a moron? She KNOWS him, in what universe does she think that he needs to be cuckolded?

Hey, she's horny and dildos don't do it, so go out and pick up some random guy, but to move in and cuckold him with his own father, record him and giggle about it, and think that all will be okay? And she WILLINGLY becomes a total slut? Never mind the Martian Slut Ray, she got hit with the Universal Slut Ray!

Of course he has Special Forces-type buddies, wouldn't be a good BTB without them!

I know it's for our benefit, but I don't think his mother can hear the difference in spelling!

"Cargo" ship. Probably human cargo.

Unless he keeps his mother chained up, all she has to do is go to a lawyer. There are sharks who will take on a case against a wealthy man in hopes of a big pay day.

Heh, if George doesn't know yet where he lives, how does he know he'll be there in half an hour? Maybe he's an hour away!

Not to be crude, but I don't think his wife is going to be worth much, as much as Milton has used and abused her.

"Less than a skeleton crew?" A skeleton crew is the minimum you needed to run the ship, so you're not going to set sail with LESS than a skeleton crew!

If George is already under contract to take care of Sinclair, he'd be a greedy asshole to look for additional payment!

These guys don't have access to their own weapons?

There's no way that it's sanctioned by the State Department. Oh, I'm sure there's some under the table crap going on, but if the shit hits the fan the State Department's going to disavow all knowledge of old man Sinclair.

I wouldn't have shown her parents the video until after the operation, IF necessary, maybe to show why they couldn't bring her back. Even then, I'd lie to her parents and say that the bad guys killed her.

Why tell us AGAIN that Juan Carlos is an alias, and why does it matter? He's a fictional character, nobody that reads this is going to go after him!

"I had never spoken to him like that before" - He's been speaking to him like that since he got into the stateroom!

His sperm donor asks what HE is?

As much as he deserves it, it's NOT absolutely necessary. A bullet to the brain ends things just as well.

Three federal operatives? I thought there were four?

Why were the Feds at Sinclair Tower so soon?

I guess it's been a while since we had an old-fashioned super-hero, Special Forces cheated on hubby story, I'm not sure that we needed a new one.

I think you forgot to add some of the specialsealmarine cliches.

That could be because you were too busy with the millionaire, having mind control over women cliches.

Needs to be a secret agent section, to make theses stories easier to avoid.

That has to be the most convoluted garbage I have ever read on this site.

...and the characters were quite "cardboard", especially the wife and the father.

Thanks for sharing, 3*

I enjoyed this fantasy. A bit wild at times but a good break from all the recent cuck dribble and wife swapping stories.

Rather cartoonish in its depiction of characters. I like stuff with at least a possibility of reality to it.

It started out alright. Abusive father, son goes into marines, gets married, and I could even deal with the wife cheating with his father for no good reason. But then you have terrorists, nuclear weapons, wife becoming an extremist, and all this outrageous stuff that it just becomes...too much.

After reading only the first couple of paragraphs, it is easy to determine the father is criminally insane.

I can't imagine trying to interact with him by choice and you would have to expect criminally insane behavior towards yourself if he was at all involved with your life.

Reading on.

...not your best work. Was this one of your early stories just now being published ?

The plot seemed a little far-fetched and, I'm sorry, infantile. You really didn't have to try so hard to justify the killing of the Asshole and Judy... I was good with that outcome after the first page !!

I'll give you an encouragement award of 3*s

Too warped even with the secret squirrel stuff included.

Accidentally hit 1star when scrolling down. It was a 5star story for me!!

Boring

great story loved write more like it

No......just no.......

WOW YOU HAVE MAJOR ISSUES WITH PARENTAL UNIT AND WOMEN. YOUR WORK IS A POOR NO COUNTRY FOR WHITE MEN AND BETA CUCK MINORITY. YOU NEED A MED EVAL.

when puppies are killed sadistically. What an imagination! How could one mind think of so much fun? The wife was spit roasted, not by two men, but by two black men, which makes her so much worse. Then she rode the Arab dick, which makes her even lower. Isn't that an indication the writer is a racist, as well as a moron?

AMerryman 2.0

No redeeming value. The story I mean. Wish I had read it.

Good fiction, good story, good payback.

Too bad that too many anonymous commenters have no balls.

Dude, you are one fucked up padre.......damn.

I never give 5 stars when Special Forces are in the story. Too far fetched. I still enjoyed it.

Makes murder by any other means look like a pussy. As someone told me, the only thing left is a Deathstar. Damn! Be interesting to see where the next writer goes. I can't hang. I'm out, Randi.

Got through maybe half of the first page. Straighten up your magat hat and try again.

I disbelieve that the author has ever met an actual human being.

I think you just created a new story trope ...a Vaporise the Bitch!

It's hard to imagine anyone growing up sane with that ammount of abuse but it was certainly novel.

You hit just about every keyword in the LW category. The only thing you missed was that the father had an 18" cock. Your story was extremely boring to say the least.

I don’t often comment and until I read the end I was going to say why the hell don’t you expand on this and write a book. Already done apparently. Good stuff, a fun read. Doesn’t always have to be wham bam thank you mam. 👍

Nowhere near your normal high standards.

I think these characters and themes were too ridiculous to even be in an Austin Powers movie. Beginning was ok and I was rooting for the demise of the father and then the whole thing just became a bad joke.

with one-dimensional characters and many inconsistencies.

But more entertaining than most recent submissions to this category. Thank you.

Child abuser, wife (especially of a serving forces person) stealer, traitor, etc. Etc. I'd say he got off pretty lightly. Where was some good old-fashioned grit ground into his eye before removing it with a spoon and rubbing salt into the hole after? Wonderful scene from the opening episode of Utopia.

The wife a bit mixed about her end, she was drugged and quite possibly still was, there is no other explanation for a wife of 5 years knowing so little about her husband and doing such a 180 in a year followed by the conversion to Abdullah's cause so quickly.

But hey, it was all total BS and an easy OTT story to read. Nice respite from some of the dross and RL crap that's been floating about recently.

I was in the US Army for 11 years and found out my wife was cheating and I can honestly tell you this story goes right along with what I imagined in my head I wanted to do to her and the guys she did it with. Thanks for letting me live vicariously through this story.

Did they declare a contest for most over top story?

Anonymous. Remember always turn off your caps lock. Either that or you really really hated this story. Remember turn off the caps lock.

This story is so bad .nothing adds up.

a lot more of this must be done to SOS our selves and country, if its not to late, TK U MLJ LV NV

Burn the bitch one time! No quarter given or taken - Go nuclear at once!!! What can I say - I AM A BTB FAN. I believe the bitch or the BASTARD MUST be BURNED!!!! 5 Stars!!!

It was all right (kind of how I write, but I don’t write so good. But I do know a good “read” when I read it.), but told too much like A-then-B-then-C-then...... There was very little “tension” in the telling, except wanting to kill the horrible SOB, waiting,then finally seeing it done. The most tension was when the wife went missing, then finding out what happened; that was good. But everything else was A-B-C...

Of course the usual BS about SEALs, and Special Forces, Recon Marine, SAS, someone who can fly a chopper, etc. But how else to get at a multimillionaire with body guards and yachts, etc. so I guess it’s acceptable.

Debating whether 3 or 4 stars. Good story, so-so story telling.

What a story. And boy, look at the comments it generated!

I don't know why most of you left the building when Marines, mercenaries and nuclear devices were introduced here - I personally knew this story went off the rail after John described Milton killing his puppy right in front of him... and nothing whatsoever seems to have happen to the old man afterwards. Right there, I knew "Oh, we're in the Wick Zone, are we?" and essentially brace myself for anything AND everything to happen, and just enjoy the ride...

Because, although I love the heck out of them, the last thing I would say about the John Wick movies is how realistic they are.

Milton's hatred towards his son seems like some kind of mental disorder or something - makes you wonder why he didn't get himself a vasectomy, if he hated kids this much. So that's definitely a puzzle that still made no sense, at the story concluded, but it wasn't as big of a mystery as Judy's betrayal here. Not saying it wasn't expected (I mean, it's in the story tagline), but it still feels like it came out right out of left field, with obviously nothing to explain, except some hollow lines. So Milton drugged Judy... how? Why did she start seeing him in the first place, given she knew how much John hated him? And, afterward, why did she stick around the old man, knowing full well she was signing her marriage away? Couldn't she run away to her parents? Couldn't she find help elsewhere? Why did she chose to submit to Sinclair?

There's a whole lot of people here who's issue with this story was the whole Special Ops angle; I put this stuff squarely in the 'fantasy' file, and moved on. What I personally didn't buy here is pretty much every main female's motivations and actions. As I said before, Judy makes no sense, but what she did could seen as your average 'dumb slut' thing. John's mother, on the other hand... hey, far from me to look down on an abused woman, but, goddammit, when Milton was making her life a living hell while she was pregnant, she should have hightail her ass out of there. As some commenters have remarked, there's not a decent shark out there that wouldn't go mental at the idea of representing her in a divorce proceeding. So, for her to seat on her ass and let herself and her kid suffered through this, years and years... Kinda makes you wonder if Milton didn't have some kind of psychic ability to make any woman submit to him. 'Would explain, to some degree, his wife's actions and, definitely, Judy's betrayal... The only thing I know, for sure, is that whatever reasoning those two had to justify what they did was, IMO, the weakest part of the story.

All and all, though... yeah, it's a BTB alright! It did produced one hell of a hilarious comment, for which I will forever be grateful, since it made me laugh so much. So, to the Anon behind "Ugh", I'll make you a deal: let's have a 'secret agent' section, as you requested... WAAAAAAAAAAAAAY after we first have a 'cuckold'.

Like, priorities, man. In the grande scheme of things, your problems are barely an issues.

Thanks for the flight of fancy, author.

Yep, Totally Over the Top! Make a great Hollyweird "B" movie, you hearing this Tarantino? So ridiculous in parts you Gotta laugh out loud! 4+ stars.

As my father used to say a yarn about about shipping rocking horse shit back from China "Its Far Fetched" but for entertainment yeah I liked it just needed some extra heavy duty reality suspension on the ride!

Only part hard to understand (just kidding) is that Daddy Dear (and Sweetie) knew that Hubby was back and working with other combat vets. Why would Daddy not have traps set up for them. The three infiltratees would not be enough.

Also, there was no mention of Daddy being in the room with Abdullah & Sweetie, until he’s suddenly there. Cannot imagine he would be so frank and confident if the person he had terrorized for decades was able to undo his security and kill his friend.

2*. (because Lit doesn’t respect their grading system)

In a different way sure but you have no room to say anyone else is f’ed up be they fictional or not. Exhibit one, your stories. Skillful but....

This story wasn't bad because of the special forces angle. It was bad because the special forces guys undercover and inbeded with the bad guys, and assuming investigating them for a long time, waited for a Marine they didn't know, who just found out his wife was cheating on him 24 hours earlier, to plan and lead the operation to bring down that bad guys and neutralize the nuclear threat lol. Only in the LW world BTB on a cheating wife and her paramours is paramount to terrorists getting armaments and a nuclear bomb.

You could have made that aspect work if for example when they tried to sneak on board the yacht, the undercover guys saw them, pulled them aside and explained the situation and told them that they must leave. They could have responded by insisting that they stay or they would blow the lid off the whole thing forcing the undercover guys to join forces with them. They would insist that once they were out to sea and it was safe to neutralize the nuclear bomb they (the undercover guys) would lead the operation to neutralize the bad guys and the nuclear weapon, and then allow the marine to get his personal revenge. Yes, far fetched, but with some logic that a reader could buy.

There were many stupid shit like that in this story.

I read one of your stories before this and that was really good. I think it was the one with the old biker giving his terminal long ago lover and sister-in-law her last ride down memory lane. How could that and this shit be written by the same guy? I understand about a writer experimenting and trying different shit, but that only makes sense in this case if you were trying to portray how a ten year old boy would put together a story. If that was the case, my apologies and good job!

The story was pretty good but the ending with his leaving Judy to die, didn’t site well with me. She was drugged, hooked on drugs, indoctrinated (Stockholm Syndrome) lied to and repeatedly raped. If he had brought her home they could have got her off the drugs, deprogrammed her, sent her to a shrink and phycologist and with enough therapy got her back. Not saying he ever had to stay married to her but he should have done it for her parents who pleaded with him to save her. But his petty revenge of being a cuckold had him kill her. No honerable marine would do that. So only 2*

This is the Todd172 effect.

People writing about cheating wives /Rambo husbands.

It is neither good nor bad.

Just depends on the story.

Gave you 3*s saddletramp1956. It is a funny story. I understand it isn't taken seriously, lol.

Thanks for your time and effort.

AMerryman

Thing is, the payback, the big thing here which was supposed to be ultra extreme was nothing much. Because it was brief. What, a couple of minutes execution time then all over red rover. It needed to be an unspeakable horror hell confinement of some kind with taunting, physical and mental torture that lasted indefinitely. Story fell way short all over the place, other than the bit from the mother asking to be shown suffering before he died. That was a nice touch. Otherwise misses by a mile.

I can’t remember the name of the book but the main character used something of same idea on a prisoner to get info on someone with a backpack nuke.

He wrapped primer around each leg and it led to a couple of caps also. The book said the technic came out of Vet Nam...

Would of hope there would of been something on the state department asshole...

Unfortunately, it didn't come across as even slightly tongue-in-cheek, especially given the author's introduction, so I have to assume that the intention was to write a story featuring: a wife with an IQ of 7, a father who makes Mengele look good, another one of that endless supply of husband-commandos that apparently abound (did I accidentally overlook a Free-SEAL-Training coupon when I got married?), a terrorist with an IQ matching the wife's, altruistic mercenaries, bumbling government officials, etc.

Hmmm. Not my cup of tea.

This is quite a perverse story that has a strange set of characters and very perverted story line both of John, Judy and a mentally disturbed father. I do like fiction but this is a bit more off the rails than I could enjoy although it is well written as English goes.

T.T.

The retribution was great. The lack of reality was a bit to get over.

Sorry, not enough realistic retribution to be entertained.

Smokepole

I am Japanese... If that happened to my daughter, I would kill John, no matter what. My family would assist. He might of been innocent in western eyes, but If my daughter had not met John, none of this would of happened. He married her knowing that there was potential for this to happen. But it makes no difference. Because of him she is dead. He shamed our family. Honor means that he must pay with his life. Simple and end of story -his fate would also not be pleasant..

Kenji M.

Not great. 3*

Seriously badly written unrealistic and wtf 1 Star would be insulting the star don't quit your day job

My mother is Japanese and you're comment is a crock Kenji M.

SHE is the one with shame. Her own family would have KILLED HER if she had survived NOT him. HE returned honor by wiping the stain away, killing her and his father restored honor to both families!

Anonymous

04/09/19

Eastern perspective.

I am Japanese... If that happened to my daughter, I would kill John, no matter what. My family would assist. He might of been innocent in western eyes, but If my daughter had not met John, none of this would of happened. He married her knowing that there was potential for this to happen. But it makes no difference. Because of him she is dead. He shamed our family. Honor means that he must pay with his life. Simple and end of story -his fate would also not be pleasant..

Kenji M.

I read half a page. I just can't.

Maybe not very original, but even the same story telling in a compeling way could result interesting, this was not the case. Between the over the top plot, the cartoonish villain and the lack of background or maybe the lack of a compelling one, motives and characterization of him and every other character in the story, we have a tale that just feel and fall flat... maybe it could work as a parody/satire of the BTB and the "meek" husband by day, secret military badass by night, the wifes was brain dead and then the guy was a billionaire...

Hopefully the next time it will be better work, thanks anyway.

Absolute isolation for life would have been better for these two instead of instant, painless death. Two adjacent prison like cells in some secret place, with sound proof, but transparent sound proof walls between the cells where they could see each other but not talk would be the worst of the worst. No clothing, no way to commit suicide, forced feeding if necessary. Piped in music, the same sound repeated for the rest of their lives..... perhaps repeating a show of Gillegan's Island??

Reading it as comic book material gave you 3 stars

Over the top villainy and heroic efforts

Funny throughout

She was fucked a lot handled well gave enough numbers and details without grossing me out

Finally a Force Recon

USMC

completely fucked up story

ill-logic , the characters are badly written, no wife will do what she did

no father will do what he did because he could not touch his wife breasts

all non since,

if I could give it zero star , but the minimum is one star

You need help

And yes, a woman can change just like Judy did. I have seen people at work who leave their loving husbands for more handsome and abusive men. These men have many girl friends at work who they fuck and they abuse them in public around town. I just couldn’t believe it when I first saw that happened. And it actually happened several times because we had thousands of employees who worked at my plant. Some women like Judy, are just stupid!

Story was way over the top, really out there as far as what happened. So, all I can say is as predictable as it was and as unbelievable as some of the events were. Very entertaining story.

Have absolutely no issues with what happened to anyone on the boat. Only draw back I can see is that they didn't wait for the boat to reach its destination before letting the little nuclear cat out of the bag. That way more of their group could have enjoyed the blast they threw.

Oh well, can't have everything.

Read the story and the comments. Personally I love this author. He's entertaining to say the least. And the comments-well seems about as many loved this story as hated it. Was it too much? Don't know, don't care. I know if I was in that position-and I have lived through child torture, child abuse, beatings that make this look like childs play. I have PTSD from it. So don't make fun of this guys stories. He's got imagination, which is something missing from these stories. Hell, how many wives go on a date make hubby a cuckold, and them emasculate him and get good ratings. How boring is that cliche story? So why do you all keep going after the ones who have imagination even if it is BTB?

Yes, Saddletramp needs help. Help from all of his readers to keep giving him 5* ratings for great stories like this one. Now this was a true BTB story. This is one of the greats. Short but to the point. Loved it.

Excellent ending. He was made to suffer throughout his life, so his revenge was overdue. The only pity was that the nuclear device ended things too quickly. Should have been a 24 hour delay on the device. 5stars.

Put enough distance between the helicopter and the boat so that the chopper can drop below the horizon out of sight of the boat before the blast.

Devil's Guard I, II and III are available on Amazon, along with ...The Real Story by other authors. Signed: BTW

So yeah your detonation sequence is almost correct. The main thing is the fire ball is only a few thousand degrees and diminishes quickly. However the detonation itself now that’s several hundred million degrees. 100%.

Anything inside that just ceases to be. It’s not torn apart or blown up or blown away or damaged, it there one instant and the next instant as in less than a billionth of a second it just ceases to be. The object is shredded to molecules, molecules are shredded to atoms, atoms are energised till they are ionised and only the nucleus remains. Now since this is a nuclear furnace some atoms can be split and fuel the beast. 4% of weapons total weight is converted to energy.

So the answer to “where’s the wife?” is nowhere. 4% of her is pure energy as in e=mc2 and the rest is disassembled ionised atomic nuclei. Literally the building blocks of the universe and us humans as everything you see is nuclear waste from the supernova of stars each time getting heavier elements such as carbon and calcium and iron that’s in us. Iron only comes from 3 and 4 generation stars.

And that nuke small as it was was a star for an instant. Detonated right on the water, oh the fuel.

Yes some of the scenarios were far fetched. Some of the characters are not realistic. The entire premise is a stretch. But, the story is very readable and entertaining. Probably not truly a 5*, but some of the nit-pickers need balancing.

5* instead of 4*

5 stars!!!

Let's see, he accuses his father of beating him, CPS comes by, that night he turns up with two black eyes, a bloody nose and a concussion, and they believe the father that he slipped in the shower? People are doing time with less evidence of abuse!

/

How did his father know he was with his Marine buddies? If he knew that, why didn't he know they were coming after him?

/

I can't resist a nit pick. The time is 14:50:00. Colons separate hours, minutes seconds, so that says 14 hours, 50 minutes, zero seconds. Should have been a decimal instead of the second colon. BTW, they need to get as far away as possible, yet he wastes two minutes waiting for the M-80s to go off? Even if watching it is worth it to HIM, maybe the other guys want to book it out of there!

To sbrooks103x - I am currently dealing with cps in two states (trying to get custodu of abused grandchild) - believe it. One state is going overboard claiming “to protect” while the other could care less and just wants to “make the family whole again”. So yeah. Fact can be starnger than fiction.

Reread - solid 4*. The pace was the biggest miss for me this read.

Hope the asshole is enjoying Hell .. I have read the Devils Guard . I thought it was a Dark Book ..

Loved it!

I guess there is few things that can top revenge like a M80 castration and a nuke. Kinda felt bad for the wife considering she was drugged but yeah, between the drugs and brainwashing she was a lost cause.

Wow

Helluva tale. Hard to believe a father can act like that. A loving wife also. Saddle, you should be writing screenplays for movies. This was excellent. I have to catch up on all you've written.

Five Stars

Outstanding!! Need a full moment. Your BTB’s are creative, nicely organized, and of course quite over the top.

...and a damned fun one at that!

So far over the top it is halfway down the hill in the back.

Keep 'em comin'.

Usual tramp crap.

Great again, a very rare Nuke the Bitch. Very appropriate fate for the cheaters and old Abdullah too.

Devils Guard is as "real" as the Hemingway's nonfiction titles.

Just like all the other stuff from this so called author, a complete load of bollocks

Really enjoy this type of intrigue; has it all and then some more. Almost stopped reading early on when the AH cut off the puppy's head - over the top for me. However, definitely planted more than a seed regarding where character building was going; ha. Enjoyed it all immensely. Proper and fitting endings to all who most assuredly deserved being vaporized. Yeah, way to go. Great job, Author!

"But he's your father," Judy said.

that was her response after telling her that his father physically and mentally abused him. thats when u know its time to go. that was one huge ass red flag but guess ppl in love dont see red flags do they or the divorce rate wouldnt be so high