The Natural

"Take your time," Cecily told him. "She's an adult and you're a nice guy so just enjoy yourselves."

"See! My grandma really is cool!" Heather said as she gave Cecily a big hug.

"Yeah, she is," Jason agreed. He smiled then said, "And she's kind of hot, too."

"Eeeewww!" Heather said. "That's my grandmother!"

"Hey. Just sayin'," he told her while looking at Cecily.

"See. Told ya," Josh said smiling at Heather's grandmother.

"Oh, great. I guess the young man at the air hockey table had it right then. I've attained 'hot MILF' status."

The guys both roared with laughter while Heather said, "That is so GROSS!" causing Cecily to laugh, too.

"Okay, catch you later then?" Jason said as he led Heather away by the hand. Her ankle was miraculously better as she was no longer limping on it.

"Yep. Later, bro," Josh said leaving the two of them standing alone together on the balcony.

"It's very nice out here tonight," Cecily said looking up into the clear night sky. She moved over near the rail as she looked up. "I was freezing inside."

Josh walked up behind her and put his hands on her bare shoulders and said quietly in her ear, "I'm happy to warm you up."

Cecily didn't move away so Josh decided to try his luck and put his arms around her then said, "It is nice out here and the view is really amazing from where I'm standing."

He moved closer until their bodies were touching then softly ran his hands up and down her bare arms.

"What are you doing, Josh?" she asked but not in an accusatory way.

"Just helping you stay warm and trying to let you know I find you very attractive," he told her quietly as he used just his fingertips on the way back up.

Cecily didn't answer or move away, so Josh decided to push the envelope. He gently slid his arms around her waist and to his great and pleasant surprise, she put hers on top of his.

"We don't get a lot of evenings like this around here this time of year," she said still looking up at the sky.

"No. No we don't," he said slowly placing his cheek against hers.

"It's so beautiful," she said.

"I agree. You're very beautiful," he whispered as he softly kissed her bare neck.

Cecily felt the rush of a confluence of emotions as his lips touched her body. She was simultaneously excited, confused, concerned, and hopeful. Some of what she was feeling was obvious and clear while most of it was just so very confusing.

"Thank you," she said quietly, her eyes closing as her hands pressed down on his arms.

"Kiss me," he whispered.

"Josh. Please," she said quietly as he gently pulled on her waist to spin her around. As before, she wanted to tell him to stop but her body kept turning until she was facing him.

"Josh, this isn't a good..."

He leaned down and very softly kissed her full lips for a full second before slowly moving away.

He saw her eyes open in surprise, blink several times, then close as she gave in and kissed him back. He smiled at her then kissed her again. This time, she raised her arms, her hands running along his chest as she wrapped them around his neck.

This second kiss lasted for several seconds and was most pleasant.

"So...now what?" she asked very quietly while looking into his eyes.

"Well, now I apologize for calling you that terrible, horrible, hideous name," he said smiling at her as he looked into her eyes. "You are definitely not an ageist."

Cecily didn't smile this time. She just looked back into his trying to divine what he was really thinking.

"Josh, I'm probably old enough to be your grandmother," she said her voice almost pleading as though he should listen to reason. Then again, maybe she was saying it for her own benefit; to reassure herself this—whatever 'this' was—couldn't actually be happening.

He smiled and said just as quietly while trying not to smile or laugh, "I don't blame you for that. That's not your fault, Cecily. Your parents didn't ask you if you wanted to be born when..."

"Okay. Okay!" she said. "You made your point. But you have to stop pretending there isn't this...chasm, this...huge...crevasse between us. You do get that, right?"

"Yes. But do you get that I don't care?" he asked before putting his arms around her back and pulling her close for another kiss.

Their tongues touched briefly first once and then twice before Cecily slowly pulled away.

"I...I think so," she told him. "But I'm not there yet. So...please..."

"Yet is the operative word," he told her as he put a finger over her lips to quiet her. "You're not there...yet and that's fine. For now. Just know I'll be here waiting for you once you are, okay?"

Barely able to speak, she managed to say, "Okay," before letting Josh kiss her one more time before suggesting they head back.

Josh walked her to her car and told her how much he enjoyed her company.

"Me, too," she told him honestly. "I really did think we would just hang out and call it a night."

"And now?" he asked with a smile.

"And now...I'm...very confused," she told him.

"Just confused? Is there anything else going on inside that beautiful head of yours?"

"Yes. There are a lot of things going on. I...I just can't sort them all out."

"Yet."

"Yes. Yet," she agreed with a sweet smile.

"I'd like to see you again, Cecily. Soon. I know where to take you dancing but that's only available on the weekend. I'm not sure I can wait that long," Josh told her as he put his hand on her cheek.

She was blinking rapidly and again, wanting to slow things down. Instead she reached up for his hand and pulled it to her lips and kissed it.

"Me, either," she told him.

"I know you don't eat dinner at restaurants, but..."

"I...I occasionally make exceptions. Well, rarely, but for the right person I will make an exception."

"May I take you to dinner tomorrow night then? I'll try and find a place you'll like."

"Don't worry about that, okay? It's a one-time thing. Just no red meat or dessert," she said smiling again. "Or alcohol."

"Of course. Anything you want," Josh told her. He stood there and just stared into her eyes without speaking.

"Is everything okay?" she finally asked.

Josh nodded and said, "Uh-huh. Everything is...beautiful." As stared into her eyes he quietly sang, "Everything is...beautiful, in its own way."

Cecily finished by singing, "Like a starry summer nights, or a snow covered winter's day."

As she finished the last note, Josh pulled her close and kissed her again. It was a short kiss but by far the most passionate.

"Good night, Cecily," Josh said putting his hand back on her face as he moved away.

"Good night, Josh," she said quietly and sweetly.

"I'll text you, okay?" he said.

"Oh, right. Nobody calls anymore, do they?" she said without judgment.

"I make rare exceptions," he said with a smile. "For the right person I will make a phone call."

"Stinker!" she said very sweetly. "Texting is fine."

He opened her door then closed it when she got in. Josh waved goodbye as she put the car in gear and smiled when she waved back.

"Hot damn!" he said to himself as she drove off. "Hot...damn!"

For her part, Cecily was saying, "What were you thinking? Have you lost your mind?"

She hadn't gone a mile when her phone buzzed. She was very aware her heart was also 'buzzing' when she saw it was from Josh.

"I can't remember the last time I had such an enjoyable evening with such a beautiful woman." There was a smiley face a red heart after the text.

Cecily wasn't about to text while she was driving, but she did allow herself to enjoy whatever it was she feeling and what she was feeling was very enjoyable.

She relived every moment of their time together as she drove home then texted Josh back when she pulled into the driveway at Carol's.

"Me, too," was all she wrote. She went to hit 'send' then felt the need to say something else.

"I had a really wonderful time, tonight, Josh. Thank you and I'm very much looking forward to having dinner with you."

She found the emojis and put two hearts by her text and when she hit 'send' she realized she was feeling 'warm' somewhere she hadn't felt warmth in a very long time. Yes, she was post-menopausal, but she'd been on hormone replacement therapy for a while now and when she realized she was very wet 'down there' she smiled and felt very happy to be alive and feeling whatever it was she was feeling.

Her daughter had fallen asleep on the couch so Cecily went to wake her up to help her get to bed.

"Oh, hi, Mom," Carol said sleepily. "Did you guys have fun?"

"Heather is still out with a very nice, very handsome young man," she replied.

"Oh, okay. Lucky her? How about you?"

"Me? Oh, um...yes, it was...it was very pleasant," she said with a smile. "Come on, let's get you upstairs and into bed, okay?"

"No, I don't feel like going to bed yet, Mom," Carol told her.

"But you need your rest."

"I need my mother to understand that as much as I appreciate her being here and need her help, I don't need a mother. I...I'd just like to talk for a while. Please?"

Cecily sat down and said, "Okay. What would you like to talk about?"

Carol took her mother's hand and said, "Come on, Mom. I know you too well. There's something you're not telling me. Can you let you me in for once and talk to me like a friend instead of your daughter?"

Cecily drew a deep breath then said, "It's complicated."

She looked at Carol then said, "And a little embarrassing."

"Did you get arrested or something?" Carol asked trying to smile. She let her mom know she wanted to sit and got some help.

"Let me guess. You were out with Heather and her friends and tried smoking pot."

Cecily laughed and Carol laughed, too, although it hurt to laugh.

"No, not hardly," she said. "Although that might be easier to explain."

"Mom, I'm here for you as much as you are for me. And as little as I get out, who would I blab your secret to anyway?"

"Oh, dear," Cecily said. "Promise you won't laugh or criticize me?"

"Of course. Talk to me, Mom."

Cecily only needed a couple of minutes to give Carol the gist of what was going on. Josh, the gym, racquetball, 'hanging out', Jason and Heather, and...the kiss.

"Okay, it wasn't just one kiss," Cecily said finishing her story. "So go ahead. Tell me how crazy I am or that I've lost my mind."

Carol sat closer and rested her head on her mother's shoulder.

"Mom? You and Dad had such a great marriage. I always wanted that for myself. But that never happened for me. You know how my marriage ended. You know what? I'm not sure anyone...well, any man...has ever really loved me. And now I'll never find out."

"Oh, honey, I'm so..."

"No. Mom, I'm not complaining. I'm just stating facts. I'd give pretty much anything to experience love or even some good old fashioned lust if it was directed at me. But with my health being what it is, well... Look, when you were a girl, this kind of thing would have been scandalous. When I was a girl, it was still pretty much taboo. But now, who really cares? Whose business is it whom you love or who loves you?"

"I...didn't say anything about love, honey. Just that we, you know, we kissed a few times," Cecily said feeling a bit defensive although mostly relieved.

"Did you enjoy it?" Carol asked.

"Honestly?" Cecily asked back.

"Yes. Honestly. Was it nice?"

"Oh, honey. It was...it was so...amazing," her mother told her.

"But you feel guilty because of his age, right? Like society is telling you you're doing something very wrong and that bothers you."

"Exactly," Cecily replied. "Aren't I? Isn't this wrong? For goodness sakes, he's not much older than Heather."

"And?" Carol said matter of factly. "What difference does that make? If this Josh wanted to start a family then okay, it might be wrong to have a relationship with him, but even if he did, isn't that his business? Even if he does want a wife and children, what if meeting you changed his mind? What if he never wanted kids? What if he never planned to get married or even fall in love? It seems to me that until you know the answers to these questions, you shouldn't worry about right and wrong. Just have some fun, Mom. Enjoy it for whatever it is."

"But what if...I mean...well, let's say the next time we go out—assuming we really do got out again, what if he wants to, you know..."

"Do more than kiss you goodnight?" Carol said supplying the missing words. "Then do what your gut tells you, Mom. If you feel like it's wrong or too much too soon, put the brakes on. But if it feels right then...why not?"

"I just don't know, honey. I can't even explain why I'm thinking about seeing him again let alone looking forward to it."

"You like him, don't you, Mom?"

"I don't know, Carol. Maybe. What does 'liking him' even mean?"

"The same thing it would with any other man regardless of age. If you enjoy his company and you like being with him, then why not? Why can't you like him and look forward to spending time with him?"

"But just imagine us being out together and the things people will say," Cecily said not sure if that was meant for Carol or herself.

"Ah! There you go again. We're back to society. The infamous 'they'. You know, the nameless, faceless people who say things we imagine will be so terrible. Their words of condemnation searing deep into our souls shaming us into conformity. I guess you should call this off right now. I mean, why risk hearing 'them' say 'those' kinds of things? Play it safe. Find some nice man with a lot of money who's maybe 70 and marry him. You two can sit home together all day and talk about the good old days, give each other a peck now and then and wait to die. Yeah, that sounds much better to me."

Carol smiled again but Cecily knew what she meant. Then again, she didn't have to do something as extreme as possibly getting involved with Josh. She could find someone younger who was maybe 50 or even 40.

Then again, she had to admit she really liked Josh. A lot. He was not only an extremely handsome man, he was very much into fitness and nutrition and most importantly, he seemed to be into...her.

"Well, thank you for listening and not being judgmental. I really do appreciate your support, honey."

"Go for it, Mom. Life is so short and there are no dress rehearsals. This is it. Even if you get hurt or dumped or whatever, why not see what happens? Lord knows if I could get up and go out and find some hot young guy who was...hot for me I'd..."

Carol saw her mom trying not to laugh and started laughing herself. It still hurt, but laughing and sharing like this with her mother was so worth it.

"Maybe you're right, sweetheart. I think I have been worried about society. All those years of internalizing social mores has an effect on us, right?"

"Of course, Mom. Some of that is critically important. People's worst instincts need to be curtailed. But something like this hurts no one as long as you and the other person are both consenting adults and I believe he's well beyond the age of consent."

Cecily looked at her daughter and started laughing again.

"The fact that the term 'age of consent' is even coming up isn't making me feel any better about this."

Carol put her arms around her mother and said, "Go out with him, Mom. Take it a day at a time and trust your heart. It'll let you know when to stop and more importantly, when to go. Just don't live in fear. Please?"

Just then the door opened and Heather came in.

She was smiling and very chatty.

"Mom? Grandma? You're still up?"

The two older women looked at each other then burst out laughing again.

"What? What's so funny?" Heather said.

Without waiting for an answer, Heather started talking.

"Jason is the coolest, hottest guy...ever!" She went on and on about her 'date' and how awesome Jason was and how they were seeing each other again tomorrow night.

"So...Josh is...out?" Cecily said.

"Josh? He is like so old, Grandma! I can't even believe I ever liked him. I mean, he's like close to...thirty or something!"

There was some more laughter and Heather was feeling paranoid.

"Okay. That's it. I have no idea what's going on with you two, but I am so going upstairs to my room!"

"Don't let fear rule your life, Mom," Carol said as Cecily helped her stand up.

"I'll try, honey," she said as she helped her daughter make it to her bed one painful step at a time.

Josh's first text came around noon the next day and Cecily's heart fluttered when she saw it.

"Hey, beautiful! I think I found the perfect place to take the perfect date. (That would be you, in case you couldn't tell.) There's a place called Chaco Canyon Organic Cafe on 12th Ave NE. I'm pretty sure you can get the twigs and bark you live on there. :-) :-) You know I'm just kidding, right? BTW, I barely slept last night. Yeah, you see, I was thinking about this amazing, incredibly gorgeous girl last night. She is so hot it's scary. The good kind of scary. :-) Anyway does that sound okay? If so, can I pick you up around 7pm tonight? I can't wait to see you again. Josh."

Her heart wasn't fluttering now. It was pounding as she tapped out a reply.

"That sounds very nice. For the record, though, I don't just eat twigs and bark. I happen to like grass and wildflowers, too. (I actually do love wildflowers!) Also, you aren't the only one who didn't sleep a lot. I found myself unable to stop thinking about this incredibly handsome, very nice man I recently met. On that note, can we please take this really, really slow, Josh? Please? I'll be ready at seven."

Cecily typed XOXOXO then erased it then thought, "Why not?" and retyped the letters before hitting 'send.'

As she was setting her phone done, it chimed again so soon it startled her.

"We can go as slow as you like. You are very much worth waiting for. See you tonight, beautiful! Love, Josh."

She should have snickered or snorted or at least guffawed at 'love, Josh' but instead she had that same warm feeling spread throughout her body from somewhere she thought might have closed up shop for good.

The last thing Cecily needed was more clothes, but she wanted something nice, something perfect, to wear on her date and just the thought of the word 'date' caused a second wave of warmth to wash over her.

After checking on Carol, she told her she was going to the mall and Carol smiled before asking, "Does that mean you're going out again tonight?"

Neither of them heard Heather walk by who stopped and said, "Grandma is going out with someone?"

"Yes, she is," he mother called out into the hallway. "She's met someone, too."

"Cool," Heather said. "What do people your age do, Grandma? Do you like play bingo or something?"

"Um, yes. That's exactly what we do. We play bingo," she said to Heather while smiling at Carol who laughed again in spite of the pain.

Three hours later she was back home and a couple of hundred dollars poorer but very happy with her new outfit.

After going back and forth several times and finally decided to 'go for it.' She bought a gorgeous red dress and a pair of red, 4-inch Gianni Bini dress sandals with an ankle strap. She nearly passed on the long sleeved, matching red shrug but remembered how chilly she'd been at the arcade. This would cover her arms but not her back so she bought it, too.

The dress was simple but backless and being a skater dress, probably a bit—no, it was much— too short, but it was so cute she couldn't resist. "In for a penny, in for a pound," she'd told herself after falling in love with it. And when the girl at the store told her she was 'rocking the dress' that was it.

She picked up a matching clutch and managed to avoid buying any more jewelry as she already had more than most women would ever dream of having. In fact, the dress didn't need a necklace. In spite of being simple it was boldly stunning and all she would need would be pair of either gold hoop earrings or possibly a pair that dangled. Either way she couldn't go wrong. She would wear her hair up to show off the earrings and felt very good about all of her choices.