The Naughty List

Edited by Quinn McMullen

I never believed in Santa, well almost never. Not that I was ever a good little girl mind you. Still, Santa was pushed on me as a child. My parents force-fed me old Claymation cartoons like Rudolf and Santa Claus is Coming to Town. Don't get me wrong, I love the Christmas season, there is definitely something magical about it. Why my parents got all nostalgic with different Christmas movies was beyond my comprehension.

I remember one Saturday morning bright and early my parents dressed me in an itchy red dress with red tights. The little black patent leather shoes hurt my feet something awful. They were taking me to see Santa at the mall. They were so excited. Their eyes twinkled and they couldn't stop smiling and telling me how excited they were. They constantly tried bribing me to get me to act the way they wanted. This just felt like another one of those tools. Yeah, I'm damaged and bitter about it. They must have asked me a thousand times what I wanted for Christmas.

I told them and sure enough that's the toy I got Christmas morning. The only problem was I had stumbled across all the gifts in Mom's closet a few weeks before Christmas.

The next year I tested the myth by mailing a letter to Santa, telling him what I wanted for Christmas. I told no one and wasn't surprised or even disappointed I didn't get what I had asked for. The creepy old man who watches you when you're sleeping, to scare young children into behaving in a particular way well it's just grooming us to be sheep. He didn't get twelve months of probation when he broke into MY house. Yeah, I was over it.

Flash forward a few years to when I was fifteen. My dad was in the Marine Corps. So, growing up we moved around a lot. My personality style was more the lone wolf type so I never really had friends. The Local VA had put up a sign looking for people who would babysit Christmas Eve for Moms who worked third shift while their husbands were deployed. It was suggested by my juvenile probation officer that I maybe show some initiative and "volunteer" to show that I was turning over a new leaf. It was also going to take three months off my probation, but no need to think about that. I took a class on babysitting and another on CPR and signed up.

Somehow, I ended up watching my Aunt Glinda's kids. I mean I was surprised to learn she was in the program. I had never thought that maybe someone I knew needed help. Anyway, she was working third shift and her husband was deployed to Iraq. It was actually really nice to have her kids. I already knew them, and they really were little angels. They were all full of the 'yes ma'ams' and 'yes pleases'. They said 'thank you' and picked up their own messes without being told. Hell, they cooked me dinner. They even got ready and put themselves to bed. This was going to be a super easy fifty bucks.

That night really did have a Christmassy feel to it. The house was modestly decorated. They had a real Christmas tree with colored blinking lights and homemade ornaments. The smell of pine wafted through the house every time a gust of wind blew. I looked out the window and the world had been transformed. The snow was still falling steadily. They lived in an old farmhouse that needed much repair. The smell and heat from the wood stove made me feel warm and comfortable. With the wind gusting the house made all kinds of strange noises and it made it difficult to fall asleep. It felt much spookier than it did festive once the lights were out.

That night while I was sleeping, I was awakened by a loud noise in the living room. As I lay there listening, I could hear the wind whistling and the squeaky old floors groaning with what sounded like heavy foot falls. Quick as a flash I got up out of bed and retrieved the Louisville slugger I had received for my eighth birthday. I never did like baseball, but I found the bat comforting when I was babysitting in bad areas. I crept into the room and to my dismay there was a man in a red suit messing around under the tree. Shit, I thought. We are getting robbed by Santa. There had been several reports that year of a homeless man breaking into houses and stealing gifts. This family was poor enough they didn't need this donut puncher taking what little they had. So I choked up on the bat, crept across the room as quickly and quietly as I could manage. To my delight he never heard me. My dad would have been proud.

In true Bruce Willis fashion I swung with all my might crying out, "Merry Christmas motherfucker!"

Just before I connected he turned and I saw his face. His cheeks were rosy and there was a twinkle in his eye as he smiled. He then laid the finger of his right hand on his nose. My dad was a Marine and had always told me to swing through what I was trying to hit. I did, but when the bat connected with nothing I ended up spinning wildly out of control ending up ass over tea kettle. My mind not willing to believe what my eyes had just witnessed. The man had evaporated into thin air.

In shock, I searched the house from top to bottom several times. Sleep was lost on me that night. I thought about calling the police, but who the hell was going to believe me. When my aunt got home and the kids got up they were so excited for their new toys.

My aunt thanked me repeatedly for giving the gifts from Santa. She was so thankful and said it was a nice touch and she gave me an extra twenty bucks.

I just stood there with my mouth gaping still wondering if I had gone stark raving mad.

I spent the next three years trying to prove my sanity. I began babysitting for as many kids who had deployed family as much as possible. Then I made my own good and bad list. The bad kids were quickly crossed off my list. Then with my list of good kids I let all the parents know I was available Christmas Eve till Christmas morning.

That next year when I was sixteen, I had my pick of the litter so to speak. I babysat for a little girl who I was sure someday would be a saint. I waited up the whole night, but despite all the energy drinks, I ended up falling asleep. I didn't see him, but there were mysterious gifts the next morning that were attributed to me. I was repeatedly thanked by the family for my generosity.

The following year I actually did see him. After the kids were in bed I had quickly picked up the house. It was only a little after midnight so I had run to the bathroom to do my business. When I walked back in the living room he was just there. He nodded and smiled warmly, then put his finger next to his nose. He winked just before disappearing. It felt like he knew I was there. I was distracted when he had shown up and it seemed almost like he had waited just long enough for me to see him.

The next year I was eighteen. I just had a feeling this was going to be the year. Then the mother I was sitting for came home early and so I was sent home before he came. That's when I decided I needed to be a bit stealthier and craftier about the whole matter.

I have a sister who is two years younger than me, she is a saint compared to me. I am the tom boy; she is the princess. She also started doing the babysitting gig for Christmas only she doesn't charge. Yeah, she is one of those. I figured the old man was probably watching my every move in his magic snowball or whatever he used to spy on people. Then I had an idea, I think I may have just discovered a loophole.

Now that I was nineteen, I told the VA I wasn't going to be able to babysit this year. Next, I booked a flight for Miami at 11:30 on Christmas Eve. I was very vocal about it and told everyone every chance I could get that I was headed someplace warmer for Christmas.

I packed, then went and sat at the airport. Just about the time they started boarding my flight the weatherman came on the local news station and said that NORAD was tracking Santa's flight. I didn't know if it was real, the NORAD tracking him part, but I figured Santa had to be in the in air by then.

I told the airline I had a family emergency and so wasn't going to be able to make my flight. I called my sister and told her I was going to buy them all dinner and have it delivered. She gave me the address where she was sitting. It was Gunny Miller's place and I knew it well. I stopped and got pizza then drove to the house.

She was surprised and I told her I came to spend Christmas with her and help her with the kids. The kids were already in bed of course. I smiled at my plan; I had a feeling it was going to work. You see I figured if Santa was traveling, he wouldn't know what I had just done. So, I figured he had no idea what I had planned. This time I was ready. Just after midnight my sister headed off to the guest room. I told her I would just crash on the couch. I set up my Go Pro and settled in under a blanket on the couch. I was going to prove to myself that I had really been seeing him. Then maybe I could use the video to blackmail him. There is stuff a girl my age needs, and that stuff isn't cheap. So then I waited.

And wait I did. It was almost four in the morning and there had been no sign of him. I began to wonder if maybe these kids weren't as good as we thought. I heard a creak then a soft thumping sound. I felt butterflies and nervous energy race through me. My heart was pounding. This was it, I looked over and saw the little light on the Go Pro. Good it was still recording. I hit record on my phone then carefully set it on the table next to me in the position I had practiced early knowing it would be recording the whole room.

I threw the covers back and leapt up. It was the fucking dog! I glared at the mangy looking mutt.

I whispered, "Bad dog, bad."

He just looked at me stupidly wagging his tail. Heart still racing I decided to hit the head. I looked at the little clock and it was 4:56. It wasn't looking good. I washed my hands and splashed cold water on my face. I walked back into the living room and over to the tree looking to see if maybe I had just missed him. There were no packages from Santa. I turned around to walk back to the couch and almost shit my pants.

There he was, sitting on the couch eating a cookie with one hand, glass of milk in the other. There was a huge red velvet bag sitting on the floor just to his left. He gave me a smile and a wink. He patted his knee. I straightened at this and cocked my head.

"What, you want me to tell you what I want for Christmas?"

He laughed and it sounded like a 'ho ho ho' as he did.

"I have been waiting on you Amanda, sorry I missed you last year." His tone was jovial and casual.

Paralyzed with emotion all I could do was glare at him.

Again, he patted his knee. This time I felt almost compelled to move forward. As I did his smile grew. He snapped his fingers, and I began to tingle all over. It was strongest at my feet. Looking down I watched my old Converse All-Stars begin to shimmer and warp. It looked like a heat mirage on asphalt during a hot summer day. The feeling grew to almost a tickle and my old ratty shoes changed into sparkling red heals. The shimmering effect continued up my body, my worn old jeans began to turn to red fishnets at my ankles and I watched as my pants seemed to melt away. The stockings stopped just below my navel as the shirt I was wearing disappeared only leaving bare skin. The magic continued and when it had reached the top of my head, I found myself standing there in nothing but red heals, fishnets, and a skimpy red bra with white piping. My hair had been braided and pulled back.

"That's better," He said, then patted his lap again.

Again I felt the oddest sensation of being compelled. I moved slowly toward him, trying to think of something to say. Then I snapped out of his spell.

"Your list is shit," I said. "What's up with only giving gifts to good kids and never leaving anything for the naughty ones. Did you ever think how that makes someone feel?"

Santa just sat there patiently smiling.

Once finished with my rant he spoke, "You see Amanda, good boys and girls get their presents when they are young, but naughty boys and girls get theirs when they have grown, and oh my how you have grown into a proper woman. You try and hide your beauty, mask who you really are. You can't hide it from me."

Then he stood and walked to me. He reached out gently taking my chin in one hand. He turned my head left and right seemingly looking for something. Then he kissed me. He tasted like candy canes and sugar cookies. His kiss was like eating warm chocolate chip cookies fresh out of the oven. Our mouths melted together.

His hands slid down my cheek then neck finally landing at my hip he pulled me into him. His hands were as warm and inviting as a wood stove. The other hand went to my breast, somehow my bra had disappeared. His fingers pinched and pulled at my nipple as his beard tickled my face and the tops of my breast.

As we continued to kiss, I could feel him drawing the passion from me. I felt my body tremble and then his hand on the back of my head. He applied the smallest amount of pressure and I found myself on my knees. Somehow a red velvet pillow appeared just before my knees touched the floor.

My fingers worked at the fly of his suit, and I found myself shocked at how small his penis was. I looked up and he was still smiling, eyes bright, full of life and mischief.

I found myself drawn to him, I longed to have his cock in my mouth. He tasted like mint chocolate chip at first. I felt him begin to thicken and grow in my mouth until he was the perfect size. I was able to easily take him to his base. I heard his breath hitch as I did. His fingers threading into my hair, now he tasted like butterscotch.

"Oh Amanda, I have waited so long for you to be my bad little girl."

His words made my heart swell, and I began moving my lips up and down his shaft faster. I could hear him breathing heavy now, I could taste something sweet each time my tongue ran across the tip of his cock.

I felt his rod pulse as he filled my mouth to overflowing with cum. It tasted like eggnog and there was so much, I swallowed and swallowed, but was unable to catch it all. It spilled from my lips, running down my chin to my neck and then covering my breasts.

I couldn't help but smile. It was an absurd amount of cum.

I looked up innocently at him. "Looks like Father Christmas came early."

He laughed 'ho ho ho' as he pulled me to my feet. Leading me to the couch he had me sit. Then I watched old Saint Nick kneel before me and then place his face between my legs. The beard sent shivers and gooseflesh racing across my body. Then I felt the heat of his mouth on me. He trailed kisses up and down my inner thigh, building the tensions I felt just inches away from where he licked and sucked. Finally, his tongue split me and found my clit easily. My back arched and I sucked in breath hard and deep. I grabbed his head and forced his mouth onto me harder pushing into the floor with my toes in an attempt to drive myself harder into his face. I felt the strength of his arms as he held me in place keeping me from being able to squirm away. Then I felt him bite me on my inner thighs, I jumped, but went nowhere. He was very strong. I came, then came again. As my second orgasm waned, he stood before me. He had me lay down on the couch now. He moved between my legs and I felt him, hard and ready. Then he began to fill me and fill me. My mouth opened as I gasped at the sensation. I felt like a long john being filled with warm custard. I could feel it expanding into my womb and spreading to the rest of my body. Somehow his size seemed to adjust to exactly what I needed. I felt his mouth on mine once again and it was like kissing warm cinnamon rolls. I found myself wanting to bite his lips in order to get a better taste.

I was full and he finally began to thrust. When he drew back I felt empty and longed for him, when he thrust firmly forward I felt completely fulfilled as his cock seemed to touch every pleasurable nerve in my being. I began to writhe and convulse with pleasure. Thought, space, and reason left me. The colors of the universe unfolded before me as I shook and trembled.

Then I felt a throb deep in me and warmness spread from inside to out. He was cumming as he yelled 'ho ho ho', over and over. I felt Santa's body stiffen and shake as his cock continued to pulse deep within me, filling me to overflowing once again. I could feel his cum rushing out of me and down my legs. I felt a sharp pain in my uterus and he was done. I laid there wrapped in warmth and satisfaction as I slowly came back to myself, he was busy under the tree, placing gifts and arranging them.

I breathed deep and for the first time probably ever, I felt relaxed and at ease. I blinked heavy eyes once, twice and the third time it was just darkness.

"Amanda, Amanda, wake up." I opened my eyes to see my sister smiling down at me. "Merry Christmas."

I breathed deep, I felt well rested and so good this morning.

"Mrs. Miller is home, let's get home and surprise Mom and Dad for Christmas."

"Sure," I said wiping the sleep from my eyes.

I pulled the covers back and stood up. My clothes seemed to stick to me. My sister noticed; you spill something on you. The night came rushing back, I felt my knees buckle slightly as my body remembered the racking passion. My fingers ran down my chin and neck expecting to feel the remnants of Santa's load. There had been so much. There was nothing but a little stickiness.

God, had it just been a dream, I thought. Then I looked and saw the Go Pro.

I smiled at my sister and asked her if she would start my car too. I handed her my keys then grabbing the Go Pro and my phone I went to the bathroom. My phone was still recording so I stopped it. I began to scrub through the footage, I saw the stupid dog come into frame and then I saw me stand up. A few minutes later something did pass in front of the lens, but you couldn't tell what it was. I watched as I walked back into the room and stopped. I stood there for a long time then walked out of frame and to the couch.

Hmmm I thought, my clothes hadn't changed. Now I started looking at the files on the Go Pro, again I found the dog, I saw me enter the room then walk to the couch. There the footage stopped. The card was full so there was nothing else. Fuck! I was losing my mind.

I finished up my business and began to clean up and cringed when my hand hit a tender spot on the inside of my thigh. I looked and there was a red mark. Looking closer it was in the shape of a snowflake. I opened the camera on my phone and took a picture of it. It was real and it really looked like a snowflake. I smiled and knew; I hadn't seen the last of old Saint Nick.