All Comments on 'The Necklace Pt. 03'

There is nothing like a good rescue story. Really enjoyed it!

I just finished the last chapter of this story; I really enjoyed it. I liked the characters and the situation in which they found themselves, and enjoyed how they grew to like and then love each other over time. At the end of Chapter 2, I was a bit worried about how they would deal with Ken, hoping it wouldn't go overboard, but was very pleased with the way you handled it.

On the technical side, this was very well written but I noted a repeated issue with pronoun cases. If a pronoun is the object of a preposition (even when it's a compound object), the pronoun should be objective case (i.e., "for her and me." rather than "for her and I." That or similar wording occurs at least twice). Similarly, if it's a subject (even in a phrase), it should be subjective case (actual example from near the end: "While him [he] and I weren't exactly close..." or perhaps combining to "While [we] weren't...). Hope that helps your future writing efforts.

Looking forward to reading more of your work.

5*

A really well written story. Look forward to more of your work

Very glad to have found this author. Stories are written with a subtle touch, and the dialogue is exceptional. Looking for more. Bravos.

The premise and plot were well developed. The interaction between Jim and Allie was comprehensive, lacked any inconsistencies, and was logical. The story was well written with the exception of a few grammatical (i e., use of I and me is one example).

I thought the dialogue was in keeping with the characters. The sex scenes were well done, realistic. I think the third section of part three was too easy and simple. You could have made it much more dramatic, and the actual ending was sweet but the real ending had to do with Allie's father and the Reynolds. Seems they both gave in too easily. By the way, the phone didn't have a GPS, but her car did have a tracker

Very nicely done, nothing over the top and quite a beautiful picture you have drawn with prose.

I don’t know really what to say, I loved this story and it is definetly one of my favorite stories of all time, keep up the good work!

One of the best stories I have read.

I love the trilogy. I especially love that it wasn't only about sex. there was a story there

Love this story!!!!

A truely amazing story, nothing more needs to be said.

But with a few loose ends and inexplicable bits. How did Allie survive so long without a drink of water, when she was first rescued and then locked herself in the master bedroom? Also, no food? Who was the scary guy in the diner? He was featured, then totally dropped. What happened to Jim's Family/Parents? No mention of them at the wedding nor after Jim and Allie's return from the cabin? All this detracts from the integrity of the story and seems to occur in other of this author's stories. Great stories but miss out on the little things.! Just saying. 5*s.

Loved this story. 5 stars

Too bad he wouldn't have threw Ken off the mountain. Allie was his wife even before they left the cabin... Wonderful story! Please write another chapter!

I enjoyed this story and how it progressed through human tragedy. You've allowed readers to sort of some aspects of the storyline with their own imagination and provided a good point of closure. Well done.

A great read. Thanks very much.

I really liked this, but there were a few things that made no sense.

One, a gun without ammunition is pointless. If they're concerned about theft, ammunition is not worth a whole lot compared to the gun that fires it. If they're worried about it being used against someone, if it's stolen, they can get their own ammunition. If the cabin is broken into when nobody is there, nobody is in immediate danger. If someone is there, they will want the gun. No good reason not to have ammunition. That minor plot twist seemed awfully contrived.

Two, threatening the guy, who had a gun, with an unloaded gun, was about the stupidest thing he could have done. It's also worth pointing out in most US jurisdictions, threatening a person with a gun is still considered assault with a deadly weapon, even if it is done to get an aggressor to back down (I think this is bull, but that's the law). A person with an understanding of the law (presumably) and political connections, like Ken, could use that fact as leverage against Jim. Standing there and blackmailing him with the cameras and no gun or trying to sneak up and tackle him (with or without a knife or improvised weapon) both would have been better options (though hardly good ones). Having a gun would give Ken far more reason to shoot him (or Allie), and the fact that it was unloaded, meant that if Ken decided to get violent, he would be helpless.

Three, in the Epilogue, Allie is opening her daycare when she is 6 months pregnant. Women generally don't so much as start a new job, let alone start a new business, when they're are that far along. Obviously there are exceptions, but it doesn't fit her personality of loving kids to sacrifice her ability to care for her own kid for a career, even if that career is taking care of kids.

Overall, this was a great story, albeit one in which their relationship moved pretty fast.

Beautiful just beautiful!

Good story but a couple of the plot points were a bit sketchy as per previous comments, but this is the land of make-believe, so anything can happen!

Good story. Nice read. As an engineer, like Jim, my first thought was that her phone would have a tracker app and the car might have a tracker. There in the mountains, about two hours from Denver, so probably west. West or South they are about 8 hours out of Las Vegas. Ditch her phone and car and run. Buy a burner and clothes in Grand Junction. Jim takes an emergency leave from work. Enjoy Vegas. Marry her and stay out of Denver til she’s pregnant. The rifle without ammo thing bugged me too, either secure both or remove both. And don’t stay in he cabin in the woods without arms. These are all nits though, your plot worked fine and made Jim the hero while neutering the politiscum.

Page 1,

You might want to turn that damn phone off 🤔

Good stuff but why the fuck was he anywhere, especially out in bear country, unarmed? WTF?

What happened to his threat to reappear? Does he go armed now or is he failing in his responsibility to protect his family?

The saying is not that an unloaded gun is pointless. The saying is, an unloaded gun is an awkward club.

pretty naive that he didn't know where ammo was hidden or make copies of the spy camera footage and place with a lawyer or show it to the ex fiancé's Father

how did they get the photo of them after having sex if she tossed her phone off a cliff lol

Ok, it was a little too fast of a serious connection as far as serious love goes. And the fiance meeting could have been at some later time. The path to the end could have more details. For instance, what about the threat fron her ex? Hmmm?

A very great story! Thank you!

Great story. Would love another part about her running the daycare

What a great love story, I just hope a writer/author of your caliber continues to write new stories here on Literotica. Well written story with great character development. 5+++Stars.

A greatly constructive story. I like that you develop yout characters and backgrounds to flush out story so that you are rotting for them. Like your sci_fy stories. I’m

That was one of the best stories I have ever read. Thank you for writing it.

another nice love story five

Good story, maybe slight weak on plot in a couple of areas but an excellent romance.

Loved it, every part of it. Thank you! 5 BIG ASS BLAZING STARS!

Great story, I can't wait for the next episode.

I never get tired of your writing nor the way your characters interact with one another, Not the best critical word you might be looking for but is my encouragement to keep writing.

I strive to write dialogue like you do. I love your writing and character development. I loved both your characters, they became real to me. their playfulness made them endearing and their pain made me sympathetic. You did a great job! KUDOS!

So many of you jump to fast forward. So much in the story from when they drove away from the cabin. Going to her grandparents; moving in with Jim; meeting his parents; confrontation wth her father; Ken his threat, his going off the rails, sending a copy of the security footage to his father, her father having to choose; their wedding; starting their family; etc. You could give a reader whiplash jumping like you did to the end yet so much left out. You're a good writer.

Cheesy, but warm

Heartwarming tale. I loved the character evolution & how they fell in love. Good job!

Good, but left a little open about Ken

Great story you paced it well, very enjoyable.

Scores 5/5

[13.03.23]

Excellente Series!

11/10 Infinity Necklaces!!!!!

Nice heartwarming story, of course this last bit just reinforces my HATRED of the 1/2 %s of the world, just a bunch of over privileged scum, they should be exterminated whenever they show their faces.

Why does being a bachelor sick so much now, I need a Allie of my own....

Love at first whatever Good story But I wish there was another part

As Anonymous said 7 months ago

"So many of you jump to fast forward. So much in the story from when they drove away from the cabin. Going to her grandparents; moving in with Jim; meeting his parents; confrontation with her father; Ken his threat, his going off the rails, sending a copy of the security footage to his father, her father having to choose; their wedding; starting their family; etc..."

His moments of self reflection were weird: “I gave a warm smile”; that should been her reaction to his smile. “Her blanket was covered in a layer of tears? This sounds like she was covered with a tarp, not a blanket. I sort of liked this story but the clunky writing was a distraction.

I have to post this anonymous because Lit lost my password and user name.

I am Boomerbill

Sorry, but there are so much lack of logic in this that I cannot appreciate an otherwise lovely story. All the way from the “treatment“ of her hypothermia to how come her phone had any charge left after 3-4 days without connection (a fresh smartphone dies in 1 day, own experience). An for goodness sake, he is supposed to be an engineer, switch off the damned thing immediately when you know the situation. And I could go on.

To be fair, I only read until the first page off the 3rd part. Not sure I will be able to continue though I am so close to the end.

Very nice story. Nice romance. But sorry I have to point out a recurring mistake I find in many of the stories in Literotica, not only yours. Please take this as a constructive criticism. You are all good writers, but you don't seem to know where to use I or me in a sentence. Now, both I and me are personal pronouns. But whereas I is a subjective pronoun and always comes BEFORE the verb in a sentence, me is an objective pronoun and comes AFTER the verb. Daryl and I went for a walk is correct because here I comes before the verb "went." Daryl hit both Jim and me is correct because here me is after the verb "hit." In your story you have made this mistake repeatedly. But one example from this page will suffice, "...

you will not make any contact with her or I". The correct sentence should be "...you will not make any contact with her or me." This is because the objective pronoun comes AFTER the verb "make."

Other than this repeated grammatical mistake your story was very good plot-wise and grammar-wise.

If there is no cell service would the tracker app work? Never mind, I'll attribute it to poetic licence. Bloody good story anyway, Most enjoyable Thank you and 5*.

Wish I had found your story sooner, but so glad I did. You're an excellent writer. I'll follow you

thats a great story. very nicely done.

This was a great story. Thank you for writing and sharing it.

Always a sucker for a happy ending. Another well thought out and written chapter. I look forward to reading more of your work. I appreciate your and your Muse's imagination and abilities to bring it to your story. Thank you for sharing your vision and talents.

wonderful story 5 stars