The Needy Wives Club Ch. 01

The Needy Wives Club

Prologue

I was late. And the thing is, I was NEVER late. Since my first period at 12, it had been 28 days between periods. Heavy flow for a day. Light flow for two days. And done. Easy. No problem. No cramps. No discomfort. Just a minor inconvenience that didn't keep me from gymnastics, track, cross country, or the swim team.

I had been late exactly once, and that was when I was 22 and pregnant. That was it. So when I looked at the calendar and realized I was late the adrenaline rush left my bowels loose and I was sick, barely making it to the bathroom before losing my breakfast. And then I knew I was pregnant.

As I sat there, my cheek against the cold porcelain I kept saying to myself "no, God no, you can't be pregnant you dumb bitch. FUCK! You're 49 years old. You can't be."

When I got myself under control I washed my face and brushed my teeth, went to the local Walgreens, bought an Early Pregnancy Test, and hurried home.

I peed on the stick (and my fingers which were shaking) and waited the longest five minutes of my life.

And it was negative.

When the stick didn't turn blue I sat there on the edge of the tub and cried. No, that's not giving it justice. I bawled. I shrieked my relief to the empty house.

When I had myself under control I went into the kitchen to find my cell phone and dialed my Ob-Gyn, hitting the name "Pussy Doctor" on my contacts list.

The receptionist was her usual cheerful self and said she could get me in on Thursday. That left me three days to worry, but since I wasn't pregnant I felt better.

But as it always will, the time passed.

As always I felt a little foolish sitting there in the light exam gown. Truth to tell, I had a bit of a crush on my pussy doctor and was always like this. I kept hoping I'd get some sort of compliment, but no dice with him. He was never anything but professional. At least he warmed the speculum before getting intimate with me.

I told the nurse why I was there and she dutifully made some notes. Then Doctor Bob came in and sat down on his little stool. He listened to my story, doing that "mmhmmmm" and "I see," and making those doctor noises.

"Okay Judith," he said with a bit of a smile, "up on the table and feet in the stirrups."

And so there I was, in that most exposed position any woman ever finds herself in. I felt that pressure of insertion when the speculum went in and then that, well, to be honest, kind of enjoyable stretching as he gave my vaginal canal and cervix a once over.

"Okay," he said, giving my pussy a little pat as he always did, "get modest and let's talk."

I pulled the gown down, covering myself, and sat in that awkward position you do in a doctor's office. My feet were dangling and I was sort of bent over since there was no back available. Not to mention I was still naked except for the light gown and my bare ass was on the fake leather.

He surprised me then by standing and putting his hand on my head, pushing my chin down until it almost touched my chest. His fingers were working my hair and the nearest thing I could think of was when you used to get lice checks in grade school. He kept that up for a few seconds, lightly pulling my hair, and then released me.

Well, not quite released. He pushed my forehead until I was looking straight up at the ceiling. His fingers were sort of rubbing on my chin and my upper lip. I had nothing in my experience that I could compare it to. Finally, he took my hand and did the same thing up and down my forearm and took my foot to do the same thing to my calf and shin.

I sort of giggled and said, "are you going to pull back my lips to inspect my teeth too?"

And he DID.

"Doctor Bob," I said, a little anger showing through my voice, "you know I love you but what the fuck?"

He chuckled at that and leaned back on his stool, meeting my eyes.

"Okay Judith," he said, not shortening my name to Judy as I had requested on our first meeting, "here's the thing. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you."

I breathed a sigh of relief and said "so why did I miss a period?"

"Oh, you're going to be missing a lot of periods. It's menopause Judith," he said.

I felt my jaw drop, literally, and the tears start to flow.

"B-b-but I'm only f-f-f-f-forty nine," I managed to get out.

He smiled in that sympathetic way doctors seem to learn in med school.

"I know," he said, using that soothing voice they learn in the class after they learn that smile, "you're a bit young but well within normal."

He was patient while I cried for a while, which embarrassed me no end. I am, I think, a reasonably attractive woman, but I am not a pretty crier. So I was aware of swollen eyes, swollen nose, scrunched face, tears, snot, and the whole thing.

When I was under control he went on.

"What I was doing," he said, smiling that smile again, "was checking your hair for hair loss, and your chinny chin chin and upper lip for a budding FuManchu, your legs for increased hair, things like that."

"Okay," I said, "so did I pass?"

"Actually," he said, "you're in reasonably good shape. You are losing a bit of hair and you do have a bit of a mustache coming in," and he stopped and chuckled when I automatically put my hand over my mouth.

"No," he went on, "nothing obvious. It's all perfectly natural. Hormones change. I'm going to give you some replacement hormones and you'll be fine. Judith, don't worry. It's all natural. A lot of women actually blossom when they no longer have to deal with menstruation and the various things that that monthly cycle does to them. Annddd," he drew out the word and sort of waggled his eyebrows, "a lot of women find that their sex drive and sexual gratification is enhanced. So be happy honey. There's nothing wrong."

I didn't really have any questions so I thanked him and when he left I got dressed. I kind of surprised myself without crying anymore.

At the checkout desk, Lorraine gave me four prescription slips and an appointment for six months.

I went home and started adjusting to my new status.

Chapter One

For the next few days, my new status as crone was just about all I could think of. Every time I would walk by a mirror I'd stop and check my hair and my lip. During every shower, I inspected my arms and legs. And I couldn't see any change.

I did notice that the hormones were doing things to my body. My boobs were a bit fuller but mostly my nipples were so sensitive. I've always been a fairly sexual being and that had made it a bit difficult to accept David's early-onset erectile dysfunction. The thing was, this meant my desire was up, well, okay, WAY up while his was down. That left me and BOB, my Battery Operated Boyfriend. It didn't take long for me to figure out that I was getting aroused very quickly, but achieving the release, the orgasm, was more difficult than it had ever been.

You talk to your best friend about things like that. In my case, that meant that Arlene got an earful.

We were opposites in so many ways I guess it's true that opposites attract. I'm slender and still have my gymnast's body while she would have made Betty Boop feel inadequate. I tend to be a bit reserved, sometimes considered shy, while she's that classic brassy blonde. But she's my best friend, my shoulder to cry on, my confidante, my secret sharer.

She surprised me one Wednesday evening, walking into the house without knocking as she always did. "David still out of town?" she asked as she blew in like a force of nature.

"ummmmm, yes," I said, looking up from the book I was reading.

"Come on girlfriend," she said, taking the book and closing it, "let's get you dressed. I'm gonna get you laid tonight."

"Arlene!" I said, truly shocked, "I'm a happily married woman!"

She grinned that infectious grin of hers and reached over and patted my crotch.

"I know honey, but girls have needs," she said, taking my hand and literally dragging me after her to the bedroom.

"Arlene," I said, "STOP!"

She stopped and faced me.

"Judy," she said, being one of the very few people I allow to call me Judy, "Honey, I'm serious. You are on the verge of becoming that cranky old woman who lives down on the corner and all of the kids are scared of."

"But," I started and she actually slapped me across the cheek. Not hard but, well, it stopped me cold.

"Judy," she said, "I'm fucking serious here. I've watched you for the past few months and honey, I get that you love David. Hell, I love David. And I get that it's a physical issue with him. He's not having affairs or anything. Hell, he's so obviously head over heels in love with you still that it's really kind of sickening. But Judy, you need to get laid. It really is that simple."

I couldn't help but giggle at that.

"Arlene, I don't think I can," I said, "I'm serious."

And she grinned that wonderful grin again.

"But at least I've got you thinkin'," she said. "Now come HERE!"

And so I did. And she started undressing me. It wasn't sexual or anything, more like she was undressing a child, but in under a minute there I was, naked as the day I was born.

She chuckled and reached down, tugging on my pubic hair.

"Someday we're going to have to do something about that," she said smiling, "but for now just get your smelly self into the damn shower while I see if you have something decent to wear."

I was in kind of a daze, and my cheek hurt where she had slapped me, but I went. And as always I luxuriated in our shower. The rain head soaked me and I followed my normal "Face-Hair-Ass" routine, using the removable shower head to get between my legs rinsed. I had learned long ago that the sensitive skin there would rash up something terrible if I didn't rinse thoroughly. Besides, that was as close as I came to foreplay anymore.

When I got out of the shower she was standing there with a big bath towel.

I got the giggles as she was drying me but I won't deny that I enjoyed the attention.

"Okay," she said, again leading me around, this time to my little makeup table, "sit. Let's see if Auntie Arlene can make Judy pretty."

And I giggled again.

She brushed my hair a little at first but then started on my face. This was something we had done with each other before and she is really good at makeup. The base and blush highlighted my cheeks and helped the basic thinness of my face and those crows' feet around my eyes. It was the eyes that she did so well. When she was done I had a slight, almost Asian look. I thought of it as exotic. A very green eyeshadow helped the exotic look. Then she tortured me for a few minutes with tweezers on my eyebrows and my upper lip and my chin. She muttered something about electrolysis and lasers as she was doing that.

She put in a solid ten minutes on my hair which I always have worn pretty short, barely to my shoulders when it's wet. She fluffed and buffed and brushed and teased until it looked like a sexy curly cap. When she was satisfied she said "come on" and led me back into the bathroom.

"Up," she said and with her hands directed me to stand on the toilet seat.

"What?" I said, but followed her direction.

"I've GOT to do something about THIS," she said, reaching for the small scissors in my vanity drawer and running a brush through my pubic hair.

"Arlene!" I said, sort of pulling back but she slapped me on the ass hard enough to draw a little yelp.

"Stop it," she said, and got a comb now and started trimming. I am very well endowed with pubic hair and it's long and silky. I felt funny watching it drift to the floor and had images of stubble. When she was done I went to stand in front of the mirror and found that she had just trimmed and, well, it looked pretty good actually.

"See," she said, smiling at me, "Trust Aunty Arlene. Now come on."

I followed her into the bedroom and stopped when I saw what she had laid out for me.

I took a deep breath and started dressing. And while I did she started talking.

"Judy," she said, "we've been best friends for, what, 30 years now. And we tell each other everything. No secrets. Nothing held back, right?"

I said "yes" while trying to get the seams on the nylons she had laid out straight.

"Well, there's one thing I, well, I didn't lie but I didn't share," she said.

"What's that," I asked, wrestling with the other nylon and then working the hooks from the garter belt.

"Welllllllllll," she said and the way she drug the word out made me stop what I was doing and look up at her, "you know that Steven and I are a good couple, don't you?"

And I said "mmhmm."

"Part of the reason it works is that he accepts me, my borderline nymphomania and all," she said.

Which made me laugh. I returned to getting dressed, the red WonderBra doing nice things for my small breasts.

"The thing is, there are more, well, unsatisfied women out there than you might believe. The place I am taking you to tonight is a club for, well, us," she said.

"Us?" I said, adjusting my boobs and reaching for the skirt she had selected for me.

"Us," she said, "unsatisfied women."

"Club?"

"Yes sweety, club. I am a founding member of the Needy Wives Club and tonight you are going to be our newest member," she said.

That stopped me.

"You're serious?" I said.

She grinned and unbuttoned the top button of my blouse that I had just buttoned. Then she patted my ass.

"Ohhhhhhh yeah. Now if you need to call David and tell him you and I are going out for a girl's night out so he shouldn't call, go ahead," she said.

So I did and then we left.