All Comments on 'The Never Series Pt. 03'

I was so not expecting that! Hmmmm ... I wonder if she stole his story as a way to force him back into her sphere of influence?

Not that I heard the train way down the line, but the poolside revelations seemed filled with portent. Well done, sir. An affirmative parable for all those who toil honestly and in seemingly perpetual obscurity. I recently watched “Genius,” the film about Thomas Wolfe – well, really, about his editor, Max Perkins. Firth’s acting (in this instance) aside, one wonders when (to switch metaphors) that ship – the one that brought good writers to an appreciative audience – made its final bon voyage.

After his first wife, he would never just sit idle when his story is then stolen. You lose me with that last couple of sentences. Me thinks you have painted yourself into another chapter or series.

You write well, far better than most writers in Lit. I think you used the word "penumbra" incorrectly.

I think I have to agree with NYcastaway. It has been quite a few days since I read your story and I couldn't decide whether to write this commend asking for more or not. Finally I think that another chapter is needed. It is nice to leave a story hanging but not like this. Your hero needs some satisfaction and with him we do.

All of my stories are written in media res, so the resolution of a story can be explicitly stated or implied. I ended this story when I did, not because I was trying to suggest that nothing worth mentioning happens after the story ends, but because I was hoping readers would supply their own endings as they saw fit.

However, your comments have caused me to reconsider. I’m currently at work on ONE more part in which I will try to take the story in a direction that I hadn’t originally intended. That said, I write short stories, but don’t want to fall into the trap of beginning pointlessly unending tales.

How can you end it like this? I know not every story has a happy ending but this was so sad. I was in tears when they were fighting and am still upset. I got so attached to these characters and caught up in their feelings. Is Caroline hurt? sad? lonely? angry? guilty? What about Chris? He has to do something. Will they overcome this stabbing in the back? Will the truth come out about who wrote this? Why didn’t Caroline unfriend Tanya? If Caroline really loved Chris she would have done anything. It was a good story, but overall I’m just really sad with the ending. I don’t want to end while crying.

I loved the scene in the pool. It was extremely hot, and the fantasy, though completely unreal, seemed real enough. I don't need every story to end happily, so I loved the shocking conclusion.