The New Girl

I began to walk back with as much conviction as I could muster. All those imagined exchanges I'd obsessively rehearsed on the bus had vanished, my mind was a blank and I had no idea what I was going to say. I climbed the front steps with all the animation of a zombie, Sofia's name was next to the buzzer for flat two, my finger hovered over it for a second or more and then I pressed. Somewhere in the bowels of the house, I heard the muted response. The flat had one of those entryphone systems and after an agonising pause, the speaker activated.

"Hello?" Sofia's voice woke me from my dreamlike state.

"Sofia, it's me, Lizzie. Can I come in?"

The sudden caustic buzz of the door release was my reply. It wasn't what I'd hoped for and my heart sank as I climbed the stairs up to her flat. I'd never been there before, so when I found the door ajar I was hesitant. Feeling a little foolish I knocked.

"Sofia?"

"Come in, it's open." Her voice sounded flat, lifeless.

I pushed open the door to a small corridor with rooms off either side. Sofia was standing at the end, she was wrapped in a long silk robe, her face looked drawn as if she'd barely slept. She offered me a weak smile.

"Hi, Lizzie."

I was shocked by her appearance and it must have shown because she turned away.

"Let's sit in here."

She led me into a bright lounge and slumped in the corner of a long couch. The coffee table in front of her was a jumble of discarded coffee cups, an empty wine bottle lay on its side and another half-empty languished by a dirty glass. I sat down next to her, my personal angst swept aside by concern for her that was painful. I took her hand, it was icy cold. I could feel the tension running through her body.

"I'm so sorry Sofia, I know I really messed things up. I didn't mean to upset you like this, it was just a stupid move. Please forgive me.."

She shook her head.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Lizzie, it's me. I'm the problem, you need to forget any of this happened, keep clear of me. I'm bad news.."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing, this wasn't the Sofia I knew.

"What are you talking about? This is crazy, how is any of this your fault?"

"..You don't know me, if you did then you'd realise this was a horrible mistake."

"I don't understand. If you don't want me just say so. Don't make up some ridiculous excuse to push me away."

"It's not an excuse. Do you really think I'd be reduced to this if I didn't care? I'm in hell.."

She shook her head, tears were running down her cheeks. Her voice was little more than a whisper.

"Please.."

Maybe she meant leave or the opposite, I was too exhausted by ambiguities to care. All I knew was how much I needed her. I pulled her to me, kissing her with all the pent up passion that had tortured me these months past. At first, she passively accepted my assault. I could feel her warm tears on my cheek and a seismic trembling deep within her that she could barely contain. Then, just as before, something gave way inside of her and she began to kiss me back with the same urgency. It was like we were trying to devour each other, all restraint abandoned as our lips crushed together.

We kissed for ages with a hunger that refused to be satisfied. Gradually, the arousal that had been smothered by tortured emotion began to assert itself. I felt Sofia's hand caress the side of my breast. My nipple hardened instantly and I shifted to allow her to take my whole breast in her palm. As she squeezed, I felt breathless, light-headed and weak in her arms. I wanted nothing more than to surrender.

Sofia kissed me again, her tongue thrusting deep into my mouth as her hand began to tear open the buttons of my blouse. My breasts were very sensitive and the thought of Sofia touching them was already soaking my panties. She pulled my blouse to one side, slipped the bra strap from my shoulder and slid her hand inside the cup to free my breast.

As she began to pinch and twist my nipple between her fingers, I lifted my breast up to her mouth begging to be taken, she needed no encouragement. She sucked my nipple, flicking her tongue over the distended peak as her hand tugged my bra free of my other breast. It felt incredible and I selfishly allowed myself to wallow in her attention. My only contribution, aside from moaning (apparently quite loudly judging by the looks I later got from some of the other residents), was to grind my pussy against her thigh invoking our previous encounter to devastating effect. I came quickly, an urgent jolt of pleasure that shook my body but served more to whet my appetite that sate it.

As Sofia kissed my neck, her hands gently stroking my back, I slid my hand into the fold of her silk robe reaching for her breasts. She was naked underneath and as my hand touched her skin I felt her grow tense. It never occurred to me that she would want to stop, why would she when we were both so obviously turned on?

I whispered, "My turn."

She trembled as my hand found her breasts, they were larger than mine and had to see them. I tried pulling open her robe but she grabbed my hands stopping me.

"No, please.." She sounded frightened. I released my grip, trying to calm her. She looked distraught.

"What is it?"

She shook her head. Her sudden shift in mood made no sense, I felt like I was trying to find a footing in quicksand, whatever I did it seemed to be wrong.

"Talk to me. Have I done something to offend you? You have to tell me.."

She squeezed my hand. "No, never. I told you, it's me. I can't.."

She looked away her face filled with shame and that gesture reminded me of how I'd felt the first time with Agnieszka. Suddenly it all made sense. For all the pleasure she'd given me, Sofia had never done this before, never been with another girl! She must have been hit on by boys since she was a teenager. Even if she was into girls, the impulse would have been drowned in the usual bullshit social stigma and an unrelenting queue of randy guys. Being there with me had to threaten the whole basis of her identity. Whatever I said, words weren't going to cut it. My only option was to show her that it was OK, that she was safe. I stroked her cheek and leaned forward to kiss her.

She was incredibly tense submitting to my kisses with a kind of pained reluctance. I could see how torn she was, but I was convinced I could get through to her if I took things slowly. It seemed to work, gradually her inhibitions began to ease and she began to kiss me back. It was tender and unhurried but sex still hummed beneath the surface like a high voltage current. I could feel her nipples poking through her thin silk robe, despite her discomfort she was getting aroused.

I needed to go further but I didn't want to scare her off. The problem was my frustration was reaching boiling point. I had to take a chance, I was the one with the experience, it was selfish to expect Sofia to take the lead. Slowly, I moved the hand that been chastely caressing her neck, down until I reached the upper slope of her breast. I could feel her heart racing, my intentions were obvious, but she didn't push me away as I brushed over the silk covered mound. Instead, her fingers dug into my shoulders and she drew me closer. I circled her nipple through the tented silk, teasing her to the point where I hoped arousal would obliterate restraint. Then I whispered in her ear.

"Shall I stop?"

It was a mean question I know, but I needed her to admit she wanted me, that I wasn't manipulating her to do something she'd later regret. Her glazed eyes held me with a strange lust-filled resignation.

"I love you, Lizzie, don't forget that, OK?"

Her voice was husky, choked with emotion. It was the last thing I expected her to say and horny to the point of distraction, I didn't know how to respond. I'd already told her how I felt and repeating it now would feel like a crude ploy to extort consent that I still sensed was uncertain. Sofia raised a finger to my lips silencing me. Then she took my hand and placed it in the fold of her robe. Her warm breast filled my palm. Her nipple was a hard volcanic peak rising from the base of her areola and as I rolled it between my fingers our tongues thrust their way past each other.

Sofia yanked my open blouse off my shoulders and reached for my nipples, pinching the hard points and releasing a flood into my already soaked panties. Whatever doubts had held her back seemed have dissipated along with my self-control. I grabbed the collar of her robe, pulling it open to reveal her breasts that were every bit as stunning as I'd imagined. They were twice the size of mine but, in defiance of gravity, sat like ripe grapefruit, high and firm. Her nipples jutted out like they'd been formed to fill one of those vintage bullet bras and I had to taste them.

Sofia leaned forward allowing the robe to drop to her waist and I fell on her like a hungry infant, sucking the long teat into my mouth. I'd never had a girlfriend with breasts like hers, they were so voluptuous, elementally female, it was an incredible turn on. This was a million miles from the casual sex I'd experienced since Agnieszka, those girls acted like their femininity was a liability, something submissive straight girls did for men. Sofia revelled in the attention, guiding me from one breast to another, watching me with soft-focused eyes. She looked so gorgeous lying there I wanted to tear off that robe and drag her to bed.

I began to kiss a path down from her breasts and immediately I felt the tension return to her body. She grabbed my shoulders.

"No, let me. I need to taste you.."

"So do I.."

She ignored my plea, pushing me back onto the couch and kneeling at my feet. It happened so quickly I had no chance to protest even if my selfish heart would have allowed. Her face was a picture of raw desire and all I could think about was her mouth on my pussy. I eased my legs apart. Sofia ran her hands up my calves and settling on my knees, just beneath the hem of my skirt.

"You smell good.."

I felt my pussy clench in anticipation. She smiled as her hands slid up my thighs. The sensation was exquisite, I arched my back, panting as her fingers curled into the waistband of my panties and dragged them down. I think I made some barely coherent plea for her to take me to bed, but my need was too urgent.

Sofia raised my wet panties to her face, inhaling my scent.

"Good enough to eat.."

I groaned, as she tossed them aside and lifted the veil of my skirt exposing my splayed thighs and open pussy.

"Oh Lizzie, you're beautiful. You have no idea how long I've wanted to do this.."

She pushed my legs wide and began to kiss her way towards my sex. The insides of my thighs were already wet and her tongue lapped up my juices as she approached the source. When she reached my pussy she paused and I could feel her hot breath brush over my swollen clit. I was so turned on I grabbed her hair and pulled her into me. Her tongue pushed between my lips, scooping up the torrent of my arousal and slathering across my sex. God knows how much noise I made. Sofia said it took all her strength to hold me down, but her tongue was relentless. Within thirty seconds I was hit by a blinding orgasm.

The sensory overload was extreme. Nothing registered but the toe-curling bliss that coursed through me like a wildfire.

When I returned to earth, Sofia was softly kissing her way around my pussy, carefully avoiding my clit.

"Wow.."

She looked up, her face glistening with my juices. She was the very image of wanton desire and I ached for her.

"Come here.." I held out my arms, too weak to draw her closer.

She shook her head.

"Not finished yet.."

Before I had any chance to protest, she ducked down again and I felt her tongue lap over my swollen lips. My hips jerked in response, I was so sensitive I didn't think I could take it.

"No more, please! It's too much."

I made a feeble attempt to push her head away but she wouldn't stop. Her tongue kept making languid passes over my pussy, mingling saliva with my leaking juices. Each time she stopped short of my clit, never venturing inside me, carefully building my arousal. It was an exquisite sensation and once again I submitted, merely whimpering my approval. Pleasure is a selfish impulse and Sofia had become its instrument. Within minutes I was grinding my pussy against her face, begging for more. She turned her attention to my inner thighs, nipping the tender flesh between her teeth as her fingers stroked a path between my lips. I wanted her inside me and tried to force myself onto her fingers but she refused to be hurried. She whispered to my open sex.

"Patience..."

Her tongue began to circle my clit, teasing it out then leaving it helplessly neglected. At last, her fingers began to slide into me. I arched my back, my breath driven out by the exquisite sensation of having Sofia inside of me. I tried to squeeze her fingers, but my pussy was so wet all I could do was surrender. Then she found my G-spot, and as she began to rub, she sucked my clit between her lips. It was indescribable, the unbearable sensitivity of moments before now felt like a mere foothill to the pleasure. My ears were filled with the thunderous beat of my heart, my eyes dazzled by the approach of blinding light, everything seemed to implode, contracting to a dense unstable core.

Then it hit me, like the bright flash of an explosion, hurling me forward into a climax that felt like it would never end. My hips jerked convulsively roughly dislodging Sofia's mouth from my pussy (luckily she wasn't hurt!). All I could do was ride the wave while Sofia continued to thrust her fingers into my obscenely wet, squelching sex. As my climax began its dying fall, another emerged in its wake. The feelings were so consuming I began to panic, it felt like her whole hand was forcing its way into me, that I was losing control. I came a second and a third time, maybe more, the pleasure was so unrelenting she reduced me to a quivering wreck.

At some point, she stopped, but it was minutes before I realised her fingers were gone and she was gently kissing my mound. Every ounce of strength had been wrung out of me. My head lolled to one side and I watched her with a kind of glazed detachment, unable to speak. She glanced up at me and smiled.

"That was beautiful."

I groaned as I sat up. Everything felt like a tremendous effort.

"God Sofia, that was scary, I thought you would never stop."

She pouted with mock indignation.

"You didn't seem scared at the time. Ask my neighbours."

Somehow I managed to blush, which given my ravaged state was fairly ridiculous.

"I didn't mean that. It was very intense."

"..And you felt out of control."

"I suppose so.."

"Sometimes that's a good thing, don't you think? Letting go.."

I nodded, although I feared the implications. I was completely besotted with Sofia and frankly terrified that she might abandon me.

"I know you're right. I'm a control freak, I promise to do better."

It was a dishonest reply and she saw through it but she didn't push the point.

"OK, I'll hold you to that."

"Deal. Now can you point me in the direction of the loo because I need to pee."

Sofia stood up and offered me her hand, helping me onto wobbly legs. I kissed her, tasting my own juices on her lips made me want her more than ever. I lingered in the kiss until she gently pushed me away.

"Thought you needed a pee?"

"I do, you distracted me."

"Really, is that what I did?"

She laughed, pushing me towards the door.

"Down the hall, second door on the left."

The bathroom was spotless, white subway tiles covered the walls, complementing a roll-topped bath, scented candles, and an antique mirror with matching full height cabinet. As I washed my hands, I glanced at myself in the mirror. It was an unsettling image, standing half-naked in this monochrome space, wearing only my livid green skirt, evoked a perverse sense of eroticism. Without thinking I lifted my breasts, brushing my thumbs over my stiffening nipples. I was drunk with sex, in emotional free-fall and against all my conservative instincts I knew I had no option but to submit.

I splashed cold water on my face trying to clear my head. My hair was a tangled mess and needed a brush. I looked at the cabinet, it was old with intricately carved doors and crude iron handles, doubtless from some trendy antique shop. It felt like an intrusion to open it but my innate nosiness made it hard to resist, after all, I only wanted to borrow a brush. Inside the contents were blandly predictable, stacked towels, various bath products, toiletries, cosmetics, and a hairbrush. I took the brush back to the mirror, and as I dragged it through my knotted hair, I imagined Sofia's hair caught among the bristles interweaving with mine. The fancy sent a shiver of anticipation through me.

I returned the brush and was about to shut the door when my eye was caught a small collection of pill jars tucked behind a toothbrush beaker. I know it was none of my business, but I couldn't resist taking a closer look. They all had prescription labels in Sofia's name. None of the drugs were familiar to me and I had a sudden horrible intuition that she wasn't well. The drugs looked serious. What if she had some awful illness? What if she was dying? It was a stupid overreaction which I tried to dismiss, but my sense of unease remained.

Back in the lounge, I found Sofia standing by the window staring into the street. For a second she didn't notice me and I was struck by a fleeting impression of melancholy that seemed to surround to her. I moved closer and she turned, smiling, without any hint of distress.

"Everything OK?"

I nodded, trying to hide my growing concern.

"Perfect, it's a lovely flat."

"Oh, you haven't had the grand tour yet. Come on I'll show you the rest."

There was brittle gaiety about her as she grabbed my hand dragging me to the kitchen. It was showroom perfect. She gestured towards the pristine appliances with casual indifference.

"Cooking isn't my thing."

Without pausing, she yanked me back into the hall.

"And up here is my boudoir"

She giggled as she said it, but when she swept open the door she revealed a breathtaking space that would have been insulting to call a bedroom. The light from the street filtered through a tracery of diaphanous silk scarves giving everything a liquid amber glow. The walls, covered with richly patterned wallpaper, were liberally adorned with a fine collection original figure drawings. The furniture was black lacquer Chinoiserie and the centrepiece a magnificent antique four-poster bed. Everywhere I looked exquisite detail piled upon detail to conjure an atmosphere that seemed to wrap me in its sensuous embrace.

"Oh my God Sofia, this is amazing!"

She grinned, clearly delighted at my reaction.

"You really like it?"

I threw my arms around her and kissed her. Her lips were like warm butter and I melted into her. I loved her and in that tender embrace, I felt she loved me too. I pressed my cheek against her and whispered in her ear.

"I love you."

It was the first time I'd ever said that out loud and there was a heady exhilaration about freeing the words from the deepest vault of my heart. Sofia's held me close and we tumbled onto the bed. The mattress was soft and the silk coverlet moulded around me as I shifted onto my side. We gazed into each other's eyes with abject fascination. Sofia traced the contours of my face with her fingertips and we began to kiss once more.

At first, it was slow and sensual, but before long Sofia's hands were caressing my breasts. I peeled back her silken robe to claim hers. Neither of us had to think at all, it was the natural order of things. We wanted each other and our bodies took over. There were no questions, no doubts, it was perfect.