All Comments on 'The New Neighbor'

by zenarcade

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  • 4 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
Good neighbor!

Wish I had a neighbor like that!

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
Wish....

Wish I had a new found friend half as good as she was to him. Then we would sell one of the houses.! LOL

Very cute short story. Even gave you a "5" for a different knind of story.

Thanks.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
You got any idea ...

how to indicate what is 'speech' and what is descriptive narrative?

On not one single occasion did you indicate what was supposed to have been things said by one character to another!

Rate? Half a star!

papagrizpapagrizover 12 years ago
KINDA CUTE BUT SHORT

I see this is your first on literotica. You might want to read some of the other authors to get a feel on how a good story is put together. It needs more build up more communications etc. Yours was wham bam thank you mam goodby!

Don't give up just work harder on your next story.

Anonymous
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