All Comments on 'The Night in New Orleans'

I didn't read a thing based on your description of your story already had typing errors.

So, he is staying a few blocks away, she offers him a lift, but once at the hotel, it switches to her room, and she is inviting him up? That, and the many grammar and typos stopped me going further. Please have enough respect for readers to get yourself an editor

Your other comments did have some good points, but were way too critical. #1 The story is free, reasonable people wouldn't expect a professional effort. It's OK to point out mistakes, that helps us amateurs learn, but you need to be explicit, which neither commenter was.

I enjoyed the story enough to give you a 5 when I read it through for entertainment, which is I'm sure, how you meant it to be read. After reading their comments I read it again, more critically and picked up on some things they may have been referring to.

Consider these points. #1 the word you were looking for in your description is probably happenstance. #2 She impaled herself on it. #3 I think she was shuddering as she peaked, or maybe she peaked and then shuddered. Any number of ways to make the statement, just be sure to keep the verb tense constant. This is probably the hardest thing for amateur writers like us to do.

Anyway, keep writing, you have good plot ideas.

Well, I certainly enjoyed your tale of a daydream on the train home from work which ends in a very pleasant surprise for Jack.

And the sex, well that was just plain hot imho. I especially enjoyed the added visual and tactile sensuality that vintage lingerie adds for this reader. Thank you Ms Peignoir