All Comments on 'The Obsession Ch. 01'

I can't wait to read more

Please continue!

It appears the doctor and Cassie both has issues. She was rude from the start but I'm guessing there is a reason why. It's too early in the story but I hope Magnus isn't always so submissive. That will definitely kill the story for me.

And I owe it all to you, dearest readers.

I've been writing ever since I could hold a pen, but it wasn't until now that I finally had the courage to share my work with anyone else. When I found this site and realized the freedom and camaraderie it offered it's authors and readers, I knew I'd found something special. I decided then and there to begin a novel just for this for this site.

Nine people made me jump out of my computer chair, thus terrifying my poor pug. They were the nine that favorited my story. Three people made me cry today. They were the three that read my story and took the time to comment. At the risk of being a sentimental sap, I had to admit that. I am honored that you have taken the time to read my very first submission and begin this journey with me. In return, I promise you two things:

1. There will be a submission every week.

2. There will be an end to this story.

And I really have to stress that second one. I will not leave you hanging. You will have the satisfaction of a conclusion. You will know how this story ends. Sorry to be repetitive, but I need you to know that I respect you, this site, and my characters enough to not leave you with an open ended story.

Peace, Love and Passion

Z

Cassie's completely different with Magnus than she is with Mr. Epson, which I suppose can be understood. Sounds like while there are a lot of potential issues there (with your possible foreshadowing of her "needing therapy," although I thought that was a joke), although mostly with Cassie? Her odd way of treating him so disdainfully (despite her apparently liking his looks as you reveal via her thoughts) bewilders me though and seems out of place. I suppose you could have shown that via some more thoughts expressing her reservations or insecurities and that would have sufficed to explain the apparent contradiction in her speaking and actions. I know we'll likely see those in following chapters, but at least some significant hints would have helped the story here.

However, still well-written overall and interesting (albeit slightly confusing) introduction to Magnus and Cassie's 'relationship." I fondly anticipate more. :) 4.

I gather her behavior stems from her ex and the custody issues she is going through...I look forward to the next installment 😊

I like the story but I am put off by how rude Cassie is.

She's incredibly unlikable (to put it bluntly: a raging bitch). And I don't find a guy who puts up with that, or is attracted to it, sexy. I know plenty of people who've been deeply wounded, but would never behave like that to an innocent person (or anyone for that matter). Yuck

Yes, Cassie is abrasive. She's supposed to piss you off, and I am absolutely delighted that she has.

I don't like mediocre characters. I like to elicit strong emotions from the reader. I want you to identify with the protagonist (Magnus) I want you to sympathize with him, and feel what he feels. And that means that Cassie needs to make you a little uncomfortable.

I assure you that every question asked will be answered in the coming chapters. Please be patient, keep an open mind, and enjoy the ride. Stay with me. I'll do my best to not let you down. And thank you for your comments.

Z

At first, I was totally butt hurt for Magnus! He's like a giant teddy bear any woman would love to have as a man. I'm used to reading the storyline of innocent girl tames the bad boy after being hurt by him, but it's her love and goodness that wins him over. ; only after she's acted as his personal doormat. They make for good stories, but why can't a girl hit it and quit it the way men are expected to do? Cassie never made promises, flirted or acted like he was anything special to her. He followed his dick instead of his brain , and that's where it got him. I'm rooting for Magnus, but I'm happy Cassie isn't afraid to be a bitch and take what she wants. Women playing the coy role in relationships has gotten stale, so thanks for a cool story! 👌👏👏👏

is Magnus really a vampire?

You might like to illicit a strong response in your readers regarding the characters, and have characters like Cassie, but you over did it IMO, don't like him either, I won't be reading more of this story when the characters already piss me off and she certainly has no redeeming qualities

All I can say is: it is as it is.

I really do hope that you will read more, as quitting the story at this point would be the equivalent of turning off a movie within the first twenty minutes because a character wasn't "nice enough". But of course, the choice is yours.

I think I should also add that I am open to constructive criticism. But I can't really find your criticism constructive, as this is only the first chapter. It basically offers a setting and as with any story, the first few chapters are a build up for what's to come. If you genuinely hate everything about this story, then perhaps it just simply isn't for you. But if your lament is based on the initial interactions between the two lead characters; then you may be missing out on a story that could very well entertain you. That pretty much sums up all I have to say on this matter.

Enjoy your weekend.

Z

All I can say is: it is as it is.

I really do hope that you will read more, as quitting the story at this point would be the equivalent of turning off a movie within the first twenty minutes because a character wasn't "nice enough". But of course, the choice is yours.

I think I should also add that I am open to constructive criticism. But I can't really find your criticism constructive, as this is only the first chapter. It basically offers a setting and as with any story, the first few chapters are a build up for what's to come. If you genuinely hate everything about this story, then perhaps it just simply isn't for you. But if your lament is based on the initial interactions between the two lead characters; then you may be missing out on a story that could very well entertain you. That pretty much sums up all I have to say on this matter.

Enjoy your weekend.

Z

I like post the next chapter soon please

Can't wait to read more.

I love reading your story.! I can't wait for the next chapter. I like Cassie, I like the way she took charge and went after what she wanted without giving a heck what anyone thought . Magnus seems to love that even though he questioned her character. More back ground story on Cassie and Magnus in the next chapter will be really helpful to the reader. it will explain why they are the way they are. Please post the next chapters soon. Thanks :). Keep up the good work

Totally hate Cassie. So tired of having black women portrayed as 'bitchy'. Strong and nice is a good combo, and would be more original. Also, if she's so worried about being around a "shrink" who could potentially mess with her head, why give him reason to think she's a mental case with her behaviour? She can't even fake being normal for one evening?

Love Cassie! She is a conundrum like most woman who have interesting history and I like her character development so far. I hope you further her development along with Magnus and see if grow together or apart.

I like that for once the woman desires and takes what she wants. Powerful but with a particular vulnerability.

Awesome. More please!

Yes, men can be gits, so why can't women? But do women have to be as gittish as gittish men? LOL!!

Read some of the comments so really looking forward to where you take the story!

great fucking start im hooked

>>>Interesting, but...

Totally hate Cassie. So tired of having black women portrayed as 'bitchy'. Strong and nice is a good combo, and would be more original. Also, if she's so worried about being around a "shrink" who could potentially mess with her head, why give him reason to think she's a mental case with her behaviour? She can't even fake being normal for one evening?>>>>

I completely agree with this. She is a mental case.

Second time through!

Just read your work. I thought it was a great start to something even more amazing. Your talent was a pleasant surprise. Keep it up Z.

"wining partial custody of her daughter" should be "winning".

Writing is great, amazing visual imagery. The taxi scene was very descriptive; I could picture it. And the sex scene was really, really hot.

I also do not like Cassie (sorry) for similar reasons as other commenters (the whole angry black women thing).

I just started reading and I'm in love with Cassie. People have already forgotten that she's a mother and really nice to her landlord and is caring. Personally, the way she treated Magnus was so empowering and delightful. As bad as I felt for him I was even more proud of Cassie.

I must say im completely in love with both of them, I loved the way Cassie found him attractive but didnt turn into a blabbering puddle, its a nice change from the usual female lead in stories like this. I wouldve loved for cassie to tease him sexually and drive magnus insane before having sex with him but thats just me being a proud cocktease.

I cant wait to read the next chapter!

I read this part of the series before and fell in love, it's been months since I've been able to finally find it again. Truly excited to finish it. 😍

I'm sucked in! Cassie is something else--but in a really bad way! I can't believe she called that man a vampire!! I'm rooting for Magnus to use his psychiatry tricks to break down that abrasive side of her. We know she has a soft and sweet side, so why is she also such a dick?

I have to say, I was really surprised that those two had sex so soon. I thought she was either taking his clothes as some kind of a weird safety precaution until his phone was charged or that Magnus was dreaming. So I'm very interested to see where this goes!