All Comments on 'The OF Girl Ch. 091-100'

One hundred chapters!

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Cheers,

Break.

At the intro of each chapter you state that it will be released/collected in 10 Lit Chapters. At the end you state it's an ongoing series. As this collection of chapters 91 to 100 is the 10th release or 10th Lit chapter how many more releases/chapters can we expect now? Are you a trustworthy writer? Is this the end? Did you lose count? Or are you having us on? I do enjoy the series, even though the style isn't real easy reading for me, whilst reading it I just replace at lot of " you " 's for " me " 's or " I " 's for it to make sense to me...

I'm really enjoying the slow build up and change in the girls and John

My first ever comment and this is absolutely amazing series! I have read your other series as well but this is definitely my fav!

Thanks for sharing and keep em coming!

🔥🔥

Agree with previous comment. How can you relate to a story where “you” do something, that you as the reader wouldn’t? Complete shit!

Slowly, slowly building and building....better and better.

Plot and characters are excellent, and the ending with Sabrina was very hot.

You have mixed up the second person and first person voices (“you” and “I” or “me”). Personally I find the second person voice awkward; my gut reaction being, “Who is this weirdo in your bedroom who knows what you are doing and thinking?”

Also, as someone who writes so well, please get subject and object pronoun grammar right: e.g., not, “she sent it to you and I”, but rather, “she sent it to you and me”.

Likewise, not “me and Abby went out”, but “Abby and I went out”.

Not “between Abby and I”, but “between Abby and me”.

Two comments really. 1. Get yourself an editor to help with spelling and grammar. 2. Try to be a bit more inventive with your prose. Eg. “then took the sideboob meat of her cleavage between your teeth” Really!? Again, an editor will be able to help you with this. If you want to be anything other than an amateur seek out some help.

I stopped rating stars a number of chapters back because, while I really like the story, your use of 2nd person narration is so awkward, I just can't stand. Nothing is gained by it, especially when you slip up and use I, me, we, us, my... (where's your editor?).

But mostly, it just feels so awkward, amateur, and contrived.

Wow he is getting in deep shit good luck how do you deal with two beautiful women at once no one can do that. What next?

DreaMajor, regarding your desire that our author "please get subject and object pronoun grammar right", the three examples you give are all in the first person, which means they must be from characters speaking rather than the narration, which is in the second person. So the fault lies not with our author-narrator but with the uneducated young people in the story!

I confess that I know no better myself, despite my years and degrees...

This story, this whole story, is supporting me through a tough time.

I very much appreciate that all the negativity comes from outside sources.

This is my second read through.

I’m aroused AND I cry. The intensity of the emotion in the writing makes me feel like my feelings are going to break through my skin.

I could give a fuck about your slip ups, minor as they are.

You have given physically and emotionally needy a gift.

I strongly appreciate what you created here.

I thought you should know.