The Old, Old Story

"We need to talk." It's an old theme, like many bitches on these pages, almost beaten to death, but here we go one more time.

This is short, intended to be taken with a pinch of salt, written in proper English as the English intend it to be written. There may be errors, ghastly spelling mistakes, or maybe you just don't speak English as English should be written. Who gives a fuck? And so dear friends........

Yeah that's what she said. Fuck, I should just have walked out and left her sitting there. Everyone knows fucking nothing good ever follows those four fucking words.

Was it any different for me, you're joking, right? Of course not, stupid question. Stupid me too, because I sat and listened to the pile of utter horse-shite that she tried to deal me.

Clearly she thought I was just her loving moron who would tolerate anything because I loved her without reservation. Note the use of the past tense there. That was the case, but no longer, not after what I heard that night.

Guess what? It wasn't all bad news, at least that is what she told me, no, not bad at all, the great news was that we were going to raise a family together, grow old and ride off into the sunset together, one of us would hold the other in their arms as the other took their last breath, yes, nothing much had changed, it was true love after all.

Yeah, right and a squadron of flying pigs just did a barrel roll across our apartment in tight formation.

What happened in the next short time shouldn't impact our future negatively, it was just something that we would look back on in future years and probably consider that it had enhanced our lives, had enriched our relationship, definitely improved our sex life, made us a more rounded and complete couple.

By the way, I'm Jimmy, she's Sally and where we went to school, what we do for a living, who our friends are, how we met is none of your fucking business, I'm not going to launch into our boring backstory because... well because just like every other person's backstory bores me shitless, why would I expect you to find mine interesting?

It's not, it is run of the mill boring, almost certainly tedious, 24 years in the making, hers is one year less and not much more interesting from what little I care to remember of the details she's given me over the 4 years we've been married and 18 months before that, when we fucked like bunnies and "lived in sin", if you believe that "sin" sort of claptrap.

I'm not religious, never have been, I saw through that bollocks at an early age, how anyone takes that seriously when it is a classic route for paedophiles and those who chose to enrich themselves in a way as old as time, living on suckers trying to buy their way into paradise giving their hard earned to some lazy fucker in a dog collar. Not for me my friend, though I do readily tolerate it in friends and acquaintances, it's their choice to believe, just like Santa Claus.

I've always been an "in the now" kind of a person, I have always planned a bit for the future but Christ Almighty, what a waste of time that turns out to be. Yeah, Sally and I had plans, from family all the way through to grandkids, retirement, travelling the world, still fucking like bunnies.

Plans eh? Waste of fucking time and effort. At least the religious crazies have a good expression for that, "Man plans, God laughs". He must be as cynical a bastard as I've just become.

So, you get the picture, a dinky couple -- dual income no kids yet -but we had decided we we're about to work on changing that... then she dropped the bomb.

Yeah, we needed to fucking talk alright. Did we ever?

"OK Sally, what's it we need to talk about?"

That was the question I asked her that made my life change in an instant. Happily married? Well, seems I was. Her? Well, apparently not so much.

"Jimmy, I've been having sex with other guys."

I looked at her, I wish I had someone there with a camera because the look on my face would have been worth capturing. Picture someone who has just bitten down on a particularly bitter lemon and then been smacked across the back of the head with a baseball bat.

I uttered the memorable line, "Huh?"

She started again; "Jimmy, I've been having sex with other guys but don't get crazy, it is just sex and I just want to experience different guys for a while but it doesn't have to affect us."

I'm not entirely stupid, so this time I got her message, loud and clear, and gave her the witty reply, "Of course, nothing need change Sally... other than the divorce. That's a certainty, how many guys have you had sex with?"

Sally was not to be deflected by something she surely expected, the threat of a divorce.

"Of course we won't divorce Jimmy, we are so much in love, this is just a passing phase, it may be some months, maybe a year or two but you are my husband, the man I love and respect above all others, the man in whose arms I will die but hopefully not for another 50 or 60 years babe. No divorce, this is just something I'm doing before we start our family. Lots of women do it these days, honestly, it's a real thing Jimmy, it builds us as a more rounded couple with me having more experience and being a better lover for you. You'll see. It's nothing to worry about at all, my love."

Did you catch just how much she respects me? No I didn't miss that either. You might also have noticed that while expounding this pile of reeking excrement, she studiously avoided answering my question.

I repeated, "how many guys have you had sex with Sally?"

She looked a little concerned, she knew if she lied that I'd know, so, hesitantly, "Six guys Jimmy, I fucked five of them, just a blowjob with the other guy."

"Shit Sally, you only fucked five of them. What was wrong with the other guy, bad hygiene? Small cock? Useless as a cuntlicker, just wasn't getting you off, the schmuck?"

"Just the way it happened Jimmy, nothing in particular. As I said it was sex, nothing more, and yes Jimmy, I'll admit it, I've been enjoying it, quite a lot actually if I'm honest, getting new cock after almost 6 years is pretty exciting and gets me off hard. Have you noticed how horny I've been in the last four months? That's when it started."

I facepalmed myself, "Oh fuck, and there was your dumb husband thinking that I was really getting your motor running over these past months, just like before we were married, now I know the truth. Fuck all to do with me, everything to do with all the strange cock you've been getting. I suppose they are better in bed than me? I suppose with the laws of averages at least some of them are better than me, bigger cocks, better technique, better looking. Fuck you Sally, just fuck you. Well, seems half the town already are doing just that, you fucking slut."

She was truly shocked; you might even say amazed. I had never spoken to her in any way like that, then again, the bitch had never let me know she was a slut before. "Jimmy please, that's no way to talk to your wife. No, they weren't better, well one of the guys is much bigger than you and he fucks like a dream, he should be in porn. The rest are, well, they are just different, just new, you know? Not same old same old?"

"Oh, thank you so much slut. Thank you my soon to be ex-wife, so you are getting some strange to relieve the boredom of fucking my average cock. Well, you can fuck whoever you want when we are divorced."

"Jimmy please stop talking about divorce, let me tell you what I'd like to happen. I love you, I always have, this is just like taking up a hobby, I'll get bored of it soon... well, sooner or later, then we'll be back as always, just you and me, together for always."

"Sally, who hit you with the stupid stick? What makes you think I will stay married to a slut, to someone who disrespects me by fucking other men, six guys you've had sex with in 4 months? If you had any respect for me at all, you would have come to me before anything happened and told me you needed more cock. Then when I told you that I wouldn't share you, we could have agreed to a divorce and you could have done whatever you wanted, but I will not put up with this, we are separating, divorcing and that is final."

"But Jimmy, don't you love me? Don't you want the family we've always talked about, to grow old together. All the things we've planned? And you are just going to throw all that away, just because of some sex? Jimmy, I love you with all my heart, do you really not love me anymore?"

"Sally, of course that's what I've always wanted, right up until this conversation started.."

"Jimmy I was afraid you'd react badly, just like this, that's why I wanted to fuck some guys without you knowing so that I could tell you and then you would realise that it is only me experimenting, just learning a few new tricks and you have to admit, you have enjoyed the last few months, more than the ones before that. It's true, isn't it? So, Jimmy there really is no need to talk about divorce, I've already improved our sex life, you've loved it."

In a fucked-up way, I could see that if you were morally bankrupt and terminally stupid, her argument actually held water, the last four months we had been setting the sheets on fire, we were fucking 4 or 5 sessions a week. Oh, fuck no, when did she find time to fit in all the... now wait just a fucking minute.

"Sally, have you been giving me sloppy seconds? How the fuck with all the screwing we've been doing have you fitted in another 6 guys into your fuck schedule. Oh fuck, Sally, tell me you haven't been feeding me creampies after you've fucked the other guys!"

Sally blushed a little, just enough to give me the answer before she found her tongue.

"Jimmy, you might have got some sloppy seconds a couple of times when you more or less jumped on me as soon as I got home, but I swear... do you remember two weeks ago on a Thursday night I stopped you going down on me, yet you know I just love it when you eat my pussy and my asshole. Jimmy I'd never feed you another man's cum... unless you wanted it. I'm sorry, I've really tried hard to be clean and fresh for you, that's why I acted like I could not wait to have you. oh but I'd love you to eat cum out of me, but only if you were into it, especially Jake's; he's the one with the really huge cock and he cums lots, but that's only if you want to."

"Jimmy, it doesn't have to be like that, now that you know, you would never have me that way...unless you wanted to, Sandra says her Bill loves to, how did she say it? He loves to bathe his cock in her when she is full of cum and squirt his tiny cock into the mix. I would be okay with that if you wanted to do that, but don't you see, now that we are open about me having other men, you never need to do anything you don't want to?"

"Sally, go upstairs now and..."

"Oh, great Jimmy you are hot for me, you see I told you this will be..."

"No, you slut, go upstairs, pack your shit and fuck off out of my life."

Yeah, she was completely right, we did need to talk.