The Only Constant is Change Ch. 09

Author's Note:

Thank you to those who have faithfully followed the story of Jeremy's life to this point. If you are new to the series, I think you can begin from here and enjoy it just as much. But overall, I think you're better served if you go back and read the earlier chapters because the point of the series is to see how a young man changes over time because of his experiences. Also, there will be references to earlier characters without further development, which might be confusing. Chapter 1 can be found here. That one's especially short, so don't judge the rest of them by that.

This chapter, and the ones that are yet to come, will be excerpts. They will fall on the same timeline and will appear in chronological order. There will be large gaps, however. I doubt anyone wants to follow his life for 40 -- 50 years without skipping ahead at times.

I wanted to change the style a little bit, make the chapter a little more standalone. I'm not sure if I accomplished my goal, or if it really fits into the overall narrative that I'm trying to create. More than usual, if you've got some time to leave a comment, I'd really appreciate it.

MB

As always, any sexual activity takes place between adults.

*****

She sighed deeply and said with a quivering voice, "Jeremy, I'm pregnant." And with those words, his world fell apart.

Somehow, he wasn't all that surprised by the revelation. He'd had a vague suspicion that something was off in their relationship for some time. He'd been halfway expecting to receive some variety of the "let's just be friends" talk for a couple of months now. But this, this was so much worse.

It's not supposed to be this way, he thought as he struggled to form a response.

Jeremy had been serving at the Navy's Cyber Warfare Development Group in Suitland, MD, a suburb of Washington, D. C., for just over two years. To this point, his short career in the Navy had been rather uneventful. Following his 8-week adventure in Great Mistakes, he'd reported to Pensacola, FL for his first two schools. Over the 30 weeks that he was there, he impressed his instructors with how quickly he managed to not only assimilate the information, but also to turn that knowledge into practical application in the test scenarios that were provided. He'd graduated at the top of his class in both "A" and "C" schools, earning himself meritorious promotions at each, and gaining his choice of billets.

He'd chosen the NCWDG for a couple of reasons. First, he thought that the work they did sounded interesting, and that it would be a good place to gain the knowledge and skills he felt he'd need post-Navy. All part of the plan. The second reason was the location. Jeremy had visited D. C. a couple of times with his family on vacation and really enjoyed it; he thought that living in the area seemed like a great way to spend a few years.

As smoothly as things were going professionally, his personal life had been more uneven. The first year when he'd been at basic training, waiting for his class to form, and then in school had been every bit as challenging as he'd feared. The physical separation between Ava and himself had strained their relationship, and they'd spent hours on the phone trying to maintain their connection. It was much rarer when someone didn't cry during their calls than when someone did. More than once, Ava had declared that she was dropping out of school to come be with him. Nothing would have made Jeremy happier, but he knew that it was a short-term solution to their problems with long-term consequences for their future. Thus, he insisted that she complete her degree, despite the pain.

It was emotionally draining. Jeremy didn't tell anyone, but he'd hung up after more than one of these episodes wondering if the promise of a future together was worth the heartache now. Fortunately for both of them, he had a bit of a stubborn streak in him with respect to relationships. He felt like he'd made a commitment to Ava with his eyes open to the challenges that lay ahead, and he wasn't going to renege easily.

It was of little consolation, but he knew he wasn't alone. The phone banks were in constant use throughout the evenings after class, as many of his fellow students struggled with the exact same issue with the girls or boys they'd left back home.

He'd been very pleased when his parents surprised him at his graduation from recruit training by taking advantage of its weekend date to swing by to pick Ava up from school on their way in, and then drop her off again on the way home. He was even more surprised when her parents visited for his graduation from "C" school in mid-May and brought not only Ava, but also her brother Drew along. It was the first time Jeremy had met the oldest of the Powell children. He was the spitting image of his father, all 6' 6" of him. And just like his father, he was a big old teddy bear. Jeremy liked him immediately, and the feeling was mutual. That the family came down to visit him at graduation told Jeremy that he was accepted as a member of their family. That feeling was reinforced when, just before they departed, Drew had pulled Jeremy aside for a talk.

"Jeremy, I just wanted you to know that you've got my blessing. Anyone with eyes can see that Ava's head over heels in love with you, but I'm her big brother and I needed to see it for myself. You're a good guy, and I'm very happy for the both of you. I know my brother Stephen was unhappy that he couldn't make it down to meet the man who's captured Ava's heart, but he'll be happier after I get a chance to tell him about you. Good luck and stay safe." With that, he shook Jeremy's hand and walked over to rejoin his parents. Jeremy was glad that Drew didn't comment on the tears that were in his eyes; he was touched at the gesture and words bestowed on him by Ava's brother.

The intervening time felt more like eons now. Things had been a little easier once he'd gotten to his duty station. Being able to make video calls had been a balm to apply to the aches and pains caused by their separation. Unfortunately, or perhaps inevitably, the closer that Ava got to graduation, the busier she was and the more demands she had on her time. Apparently, Jeremy had a thing for nurses, because both Hannah and Ava were in school to enter that profession. Ava was a serious, if not especially natural, student. Thus, as the difficulty of her coursework increased, so did the number of hours she dedicated to study. She'd been working on her rotations as well, so her free time was further limited.

Jeremy had tried to be accommodating of her needs. He made it clear that he understood the pressure she was under, and if that cut into the time they could spend talking by phone or video, then that was fine. Their conversations over the past two months had become noticeably strained, however, and the frequency seemed even more sporadic than it had been previously. Until today, they hadn't spoken directly in more than two weeks. They'd had other gaps nearly as long before, but he'd been bothered by this one more than usual because of something that happened as they closed their last video chat.

Throughout that call, Ava had seemed distracted. Their conversation was halting, and when Jeremy questioned her, she wrote it off to being stressed and not getting enough sleep. However, just before they'd ended their call, Ava had looked directly into the camera and said, "You know how much I love you, right? Never forget that I will always love you, no matter what."

Jeremy had assured her that she was never far from his thoughts, told her that he loved her too, and they'd signed off. Something about the look in her eyes had spooked Jeremy, and he'd been pretty sure that something bad was about to happen.

Now, he realized that never in his darkest nightmares would he have envisioned something as devastating as the words that Ava had just delivered. As his eyes welled up with tears he thought, We almost made it. If she could have just held on for a few more weeks, we'd have been together. It was true. Jeremy's plan of getting into a commissioning program had come to pass. He hadn't told Ava yet, but he'd been accepted into the NROTC program, and his intention was to join her at school for her final year. He'd even been contemplating proposing marriage.

"Jeremy?" Her voice recaptured his attention, and once more he focused on the screen. Ava's distraught expression communicated that she knew just how serious a breach this was.

There was a time that merely seeing Ava's face had brought him such joy. Her love had stoked the fire that he held deep in his heart for her. Now, in light of her revelation, even the tears shining on her cheeks did nothing to drive away the icy chill that was growing within him. He felt sick to his stomach.

As hurt as he was, Jeremy's first inclination was to lash out and hurt her back. The only problem was, he really did love her. No matter how much he wanted to do so, he just couldn't bring himself to intentionally inflict pain on the woman he loved, regardless of the circumstances. Instinctively, too, he knew that if he gave free rein to his anger, he'd irreparably harm whatever relationship they might still have. With a quivering voice that barely disguised the rage within him, he managed to ask, "Why? What did I do to deserve this? I mean, I know we're apart, but..."

With that, the sliver of control that Ava had held over her emotions slipped and her tears flowed anew. "No!" she sobbed. "Don't you dare blame yourself. This is completely my fault. It was a terrible mistake, a huge mistake! I let my guard down, and now I've ruined everything."

He sighed. "You might as well tell me what happened. I'll never be able to move on if I don't get some questions answered."

It was some time before Ava could calm herself enough to speak again. "Before I tell you what happened, I have to know if we have a chance moving forward." She looked desperately, hopefully, at the camera.

Jeremy sat back and pondered the question. The physical act of sleeping with someone else was a betrayal in and of itself, but with the miles that separated them, she could have just as easily been doing it all along and he wouldn't have known. Obviously, if she kept the baby it would have been difficult to hide the pregnancy for much longer, but she'd still come clean about what was happening; that probably counted for something. She hadn't been a virgin when they'd first gotten together, not that he'd ever really put much value on the commodity. She'd certainly been solicitous of his interludes with Serena and Hannah before he left for the navy without seeking the same for herself, though she probably had every right to do so. Jeremy still harbored a tiny grain of guilt over the duplicitousness of that situation, but he was grateful that she hadn't pushed in that direction. No, it wasn't the physical side of things that bothered him. It was the betrayal itself.

Before he'd left, they'd agreed that for them to survive the separation, they needed to be able to trust each other. Part of that trust included the expectation that they would be celibate while apart. Jeremy had held up his end of the deal thus far, despite the relative abundance of predatory civilian women his age looking to hook up with the guaranteed income of a military man. His father had tried to warn him about "military groupies," but it still surprised Jeremy when he saw coworkers entrapped in marriages predicated on "pregnancies" that inevitably miscarried once the legal bonds were in place.

It wasn't like he didn't have "urges." He was a red-blooded male. His male classmates while in Pensacola had developed a collective penchant for visiting strip clubs, Jeremy had limited his visits because he thought it was like paying someone to give him a case of blue balls. He likened it to an alcoholic going to a bar and buying shots of his favorite whiskey for someone else to drink. What was the sense in that?

He did have one especially memorable stop at a strip club, though. After they'd graduated from "A" school, some of his buddies managed to arrange a kegger at a house off-base. The fact that he was underage never entered the picture. In fact, Jeremy had had a reputation as a goody two-shoes, so they'd been intent on getting him trashed. They were entirely successful. If the night had stopped there, Jeremy might have saved himself some embarrassment. But he was young, dumb, and full of...well, let's just say it'd been a while since he'd been with a woman. Between the beer, the encouragement of his friends, and a general horniness, Jeremy went along with his equally-inebriated buddies to a kind of middle-class club. It was clean and tastefully decorated, better than the kind of down-and-dirty places where it was clear that all that was expected, or offered, was loud music and nude or soon-to-be nude women. But it wasn't the kind of place where you were likely to retire to a private, VIP room with the dancer of your choice. Navy guys, especially young navy guys, don't have the kind of money you need to walk in the door at places like that.

Some clubs specialize in specially choreographed stage performances, while others emphasize the always popular lap dance. Diamond Dreams offered, for a surprisingly affordable price, the opportunity to join one or more girls in an oil wrestling bout. Jeremy wouldn't have spent the money himself, but his "buddies" were there for him. And that's how he'd ended up stripped down and wearing, for lack of a better term, an adult-sized plastic diaper cover and nothing else, sliding around in the equivalent of an inflatable kiddie pool with another guy and two strippers while the crowd cheered them on. The video, which of course his buddies purchased, was a thing of beauty that Jeremy was really hoping never again saw the light of day.

After that, Jeremy mostly spent his time as a kind of designated wingman for his female classmates. Once they found out that he had a girl back home, it became a game for them to tease him unceasingly. Frankly, it took some getting used to, hearing girls talk the way that some of his classmates talked. Like the time one of them told him, after she'd had a few drinks of course, that "if she didn't think she'd get lockjaw, she'd spend all day on her knees sucking dick." That was one of the tamer conversations they had. Even though he firmly declined to engage in anything more than flirting, once they found out that he liked to dance, he was regularly invited to go along with the girls. His role was to be a dance partner, and substitute boyfriend for any girl who wanted to claim him if a guy showed undesired interest in one of them.

It was a good system. It kept Jeremy occupied and allowed him to blow off steam without focusing on the lack of intimacy. The system had worked well for all of them, except for the one girl who had convinced herself that Jeremy was just playing hard to get. Teresa Marquez was a Latina spitfire from deep in the heart of Texas. Barely over five feet tall, she was something else. Her body seemed okay, but the working uniform in the navy did nothing for her. She had wide hips and a bubble butt that she was proud of. Jeremy thought she looked nice, but he wasn't as impressed as she was. Admittedly, once out of uniform, she was better able to showcase a dangerously curvy body. Though her breasts were on the small side, her slight stature made them appear larger; in combination with her wider hips and tight abs, she was the epitome of an hourglass. Despite all that, Jeremy thought that her best attribute was probably her smile. She had a typically Hispanic complexion and coloring, but her smile was a beauty, accented by her dimpled cheeks.

She was also one of the most aggressively sexual women that he'd ever encountered. Not that he'd had much experience to that point, but he was still taken aback when she'd cornered him between dances one night just before their class graduated.

"When are you going to admit to yourself that you want to hit this?" she asked with a smirk. "You and I both know it's going to happen, girlfriend or no girlfriend. I'm here and she's not. Give me one night to blow your mind. She'll never know."

He tried to play if off jokingly. "The only thing you and I both know, Jalapeño, is that you couldn't handle a night with me."

It was a tune they'd danced to before. She'd apparently had a few cocktails, because unlike previous discussions, she stepped into his personal space and looked into his eyes with a fire in hers. "I think you're all talk. I think after the first time I suck your dick, you'll be too busy dreaming about fucking my face until I swallow your cum to worry about her anymore. I think you're afraid that if I get your fat cock into mi concha, you'll forget all about your little girlfriend back home."

Despite the iron bar in his pants, Jeremy managed to keep himself under control, even shifting away from his pet name for her. "Teresa, if anything changes between Ava and me, you'll be the first to know," he promised. "And then, maybe we'll see if you're as good as you think you are. But until that happens, you're just going to have to enjoy your fantasies."

She'd relented, grinning while shaking her head. She said, "I almost had you that time. I'll wait, big boy," she continued as she turned away, "but not forever." She probably threw a little extra into her sway as she walked away, knowing that he was watching.

As luck would have it, she'd been assigned to the same command as Jeremy after graduation. "Face it," she'd joked, "you're going to be mine someday. This is just fate keeping us together." Jeremy had just shaken his head in surrender. Rarely had a day passed since they'd arrived in D. C. when she hadn't made some reference to their future as a couple. Or at least as bed partners. They'd more or less settled into a kind of détente, but he'd cut back on his level of participation the longer it'd gone on. Getting busted for fraternization was not exactly high on his list of goals.

Snapping back to the present, Jeremy replied to Ava. "I guess whether we have a future depends on what you're going to do. I'd like to be able to get past this, but it's not the same as pining away for some French guy you met on vacation. You're carrying another man's baby. How in the world am I supposed to let that go? We were supposed to be monogamous, Ava. Or did I miss something?" he finished snidely.

Unhappily, she responded, "No, you didn't miss anything. And I've been faithful to you except for this one time. I swear."

"So how did it happen?" he asked. "Obviously, I know how it happened. But, have you been seeing this guy for a while? Were you test-driving my replacement?"

Ava replied angrily. "No, it wasn't like that! I love you. It may not seem like it, but it's true." She sighed before continuing. "It's partly because of how much I was missing you that this happened.

"I think we can both agree that this separation has been difficult on both of us, right?" she asked. Jeremy agreed. "But the last few months, it's been harder than before. I've been struggling in my classes, and when we started into our rotations at the hospital, it seemed like all I was doing is eating, sleeping, and studying or working. I was going crazy, so when some of my girlfriends decided that we needed to go out bar-hopping a couple of months ago, I was on board with it.

"We went out to this club we like, and we were drinking wine and dancing together, just having a good time. There was this group of med students there kind of doing the same thing as us. We were all mixed up together, dancing with different people, talking, nothing special. But this one guy, David, he's been at the hospital at the same time as me a few times. We've been friendly, and I thought he was nice enough, kind of cute, but he knew I had a boyfriend, so it's been strictly hands-off.