by beaverhunt
OK. Seems the family is stupid enough to go for this thinly disguised incest nudge. What happens next? . . . .
Didn't bother reading because "you" is a second-person pronoun. "I" is the first-person pronoun. Perhaps you should try writing in your native language, whatever that may be. 1/5
Keep sending the money.
Daddy and daughter is so exciting.
Can't wait for the next EPISODE.
"First person" is "I". Second person is "you."
I have seen other stories written with this authority, it's not uncommon.
Man, what a fucking stupid way to rite a story.
I cannot even READ a story like this. Good premise needs a re wright
Maybe there's a reason why more people don't submit stories written in this way. You know, because it sucks?
It's too distracting. "You," "you then," you sit down," "you walk over," etc. It really takes the reader out of the immersion.